What The Soul Wants

By BlueHot Chronicles

Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of BlueHot Chronicles. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note:

I began writing this story late 2015 but I was hesitant to post it. I had already written the last chapter and the Epilogue, but I was stuck on how to write the two or three chapters before those. Update: September 2017 - I have edited this story to the best of my abilities, and have reworded, formatted and even expanded some parts.

For all of you who appreciate my writing, hopefully you've noticed that I don't like to describe everything that happens at the time, or, I'll leave room for a One-Shot or a Sequel later on and that happens in this story as well. This one was difficult for me to write as I had to dwell on teenage stuff and I didn't feel as though I got it right;I probably didn't and still feel this way.

This story's Main Character is an Original Character I created named Xhara Diya; if you check out my Instagram page bluehot_chronicles you can get an idea of what she looks like. There's some slight Harry-bashing, it wasn't my intention but as I read over my work, I noticed it. In J.K's work, I found him to be foolish and I guess that feeling bled into my fanfic. Don't get me wrong, I like Harry and what I wrote will probably only bother HarryFreaks.

Summary:

Lily was never the girl Severus thought she was; he'd been blinded by her beauty and his love for her. Now, years later, he meets a transfer student to Hogwarts who began to overshadow the light that was Lily, in a way no student should. Slight Harry-bashing.

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Chapter One

Spinner's End - The Park

"Tuney was right you are a freak, stay away from me Snape!"

Severus stared at the girl's retreating form, unable to hide his disappointment.

What had he done to cause such an unexpected surge of dislike?

Then he snorted to himself; he was a no good waste of space, he never got to have regular baths, his clothes were too big and mismatched - as Tuney had said - with his mother's blouse.

His long black hair was always limp and greasy because he liked watching his mother brew; it was the only time she allowed him to be around her, and he was always hungry even when he should be grateful for the little food his father let him eat. The list was quite long.

Who would like a disgusting and ungrateful freak like him?

He'd never had a friend before and Lily was really nice to him, at least sometimes but more than his father, that was for sure.

Lily was the one who'd continued to approach him after the first time when he'd told her that she was a witch. One moment she would be happy to see him, the next she would be playing with Petunia, her sister, throwing him glares of suspicion and revulsion.

He would sadly trudge back to his home perceiving that their friendship was over.

Whenever his father chased him out of the house the next day or so, in one of his drunken rages, Severus would retreat to the park where Lily would race to him; her silky red hair flowing to her waist and her green eyes shining in delight, as she hugged him. Her disgust the day before forgotten.

Starved for affection and friendship, Severus forgave all her rude and hateful comments especially if he was always going to be rewarded with a smile and hug. This continued for the next few years, even during their time at Hogwarts, until one day in their fifth year when Lily's repugnance for him never went away.

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Ages Away

"Here's your medicine Sev, now you'll feel all better."

A little girl with big, hazel coloured eyes and skin the colour of the darkest honey played with one of her dolls, unaware of her parents' discomfort as they stood observing her in the doorway.

"Xhara honey, why don't you put your dolls away for a bit, lunch is ready," her mother said quietly.

Xhara turned to her mother with a huge smile, her thick curly hair was parted down the middle and tied into two giant, curly puff balls near the top of her head. Her heart melted at her daughter's innocent smile.

"Okay, mummy."

At the dining table, Xhara talked nonstop about her friend who she met and did wonderful magickal stuff with.

"...and one time he made the flowers falling from the tree swirl around us like a whirlwind," here she sighed wistfully, "I wish I was as good as he is at magick."

The rest of their lunch had similar stories; Darius and Ishwari Diya exchanged silent glances.

Once lunch was over Mr Diya lifted his seven-year-old daughter into his arms for a bear hug and kisses, his teeth white against his dusky features as she squealed with laughter. He played with his only child for a few moments before leaving for work.

"See you later, my little Xharadia," He said as he went through the door, it was his nickname for her, his little miracle baby girl.

"Bye, daddy!"

"Sweetie, come here for a moment," Ishwari sat on the sofa and patted her leg before lifting Xhara onto her lap once she came closer.

Xhara loved it when her mother held her this way; her mummy had a wonderful fragrance of coconut oil in her long and dark, flowing tresses and a flowery fragrance from the herbal lotion she massages into her light-honey coloured skin.

Ishwari was worried about her daughter's belief in her stories, and while Darius believed that it was all harmless make-believe and that Xhara would grow out of it, she could not help but fear for her daughter's social life later on.

"Honey tell me more about this 'Sev'. As she listened to her daughter's stories Ishwari became more and more worried.

"When do you see this 'friend' honey?"

"Almost every night I go to sleep mummy."

A wave of relief washed through Ishwari, she and her husband were already worried about the strange things Xhara did with strong emotions; she didn't want hallucinations added to the list.

"Oh honey," she said, her voice betraying her relief, "those are very vivid dreams you have at night. Hmmm, I guess I can make a new tea blend for you, just so you can have more rest. You do look more and more exhausted every morning. I was getting so worried, beti."

"But it feels so real," Xhara replied, her tiny brows furrowed, "Sev is so lonely mummy and I don't think he gets enough to eat; he's my friend. He's always hurt when I see him," she said softly, not looking at her mother instead choosing to fiddle with a button on her mother's blouse.

"One time I saw his daddy hitting him over and over and I tried to make him stop…"

Ishwari felt her heart jump painfully at Xhara's words. Xhara was somewhat spoiled, the result of being an only child and three months premature.

She and Darius loved their little girl to pieces, and have never taught her about the harsher lives some other children lived. She could only hope Xhara had only read it somewhere as she wanted to wait for Darius so they could talk to their daughter together.

"Well... that's called Lucid Dreaming honey," she said, ignoring the mentioned abuse of an imaginary boy, "it means that you can control what you dream about, not everyone can do that. My beti is so smart." She gushed hugging Xhara close.

Xhara looked up at her but instead of looking proud, her daughter appeared to still be in distress for the dream boy. Then an idea formed in her mind.

"How about..." she placed Xhara to stand in front of her, "the next time you dream of him, you take meals to him and be the best friend to him I know my wonderful daughter can be."

Xhara's adorable brown features lit up with a beautiful smile. Though she knew her parents loved her, she also knew her strange behaviour worried them. This was the first time her mother gave her permission to be weird.

Her gaze strayed to her mother's long silky hair as it shone almost blue like the wing of a majestic bird.

"I wish my hair was like yours mummy," she said wistfully

Ishwari was shocked for a moment, "You have beautiful hair honey all those wonderful curls; you are a gorgeous blend of your daddy and me and we wouldn't have it any other way. Why did you say that, are your classmates picking on you again?" she asked gently

"No, but in my dreams, I don't look like me. I have hair like yours but it's really red and my skin is really pale. I think Sev likes the way my hair looks because I caught him stroking it once when I wasn't looking and he thought I'd get angry for it."

Ishwari felt her fear and confusion return, she thought about contacting her spiritual teacher but decided to wait for Darius. Maybe instead of spiritual, this was something psychological.

She didn't know enough of what was going on to make any decisions without her husband; the fight they'd had the last time she'd brought Guru Pankaj... Darius' rage when he came home and enquired about Xhara's tears... she shuddered as she thought of Xhara's fear when the guru began to speak of her soul leaving her body and magic and men dying.

No... she would not put her daughter through that again.

After reassuring her daughter that she was beautiful just the way she was born, she sent Xhara to play out in the backyard and went about her chores for the day until her husband returned from work.

A/N - Beti is the Hindi word for daughter, pronounced Bay-Tee. I used it in the context those of East Indian descent here in my Caribbean country would use it.