Chapter one: Saudade: A nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost. "The love that remains."

I was dying. That much was clear. The world around me was blurred, but I could make out heavy smoke and twisted metal. There was so much noise going on around me; trees whistling in the wind, the far off noise of the highway, and the distinct sound of sirens wailing in the distance. My bare arms dug into the loose rock of the road, and it seemed to be the only thing I could feel. The rest of my body was painfully numb. I moved my arms, desperate to sit up and survey the situation, but even the smallest movement was impossible. It felt like I was being crushed by the weight of my own body, and I was helpless to move.

I started to panic. What was happening? Where was I? Why couldn't I move? I tried to open my mouth to scream, and I was shocked by the distinct taste of iron coating my tongue.

Blood.

..

I sat straight up in bed. It was the same nightmare every single night, but the repetition did not stop the heavy sweat and shaking. My chest heaved with the strain of pulling in oxygen, but I could not seem to calm my breathing. It was the same panic all over again, the same sense of helplessness.

I needed to get a grip. I reached my trembling fingers across the comforter, over towards the nightstand. I gripped my phone tightly, pulling it towards me and turning it on. The screen lit up the dim room, warning me it was early evening. Steve and Sarah would be here soon to pick me up. I pushed away my fears the best that I could, standing to my feet and making my way towards the door. I switched on the light and then moved towards the closet, pushing open the heavy doors and getting to work.

I grabbed my dress for the party and headed into the bathroom. I really didn't feel like taking a shower, but I knew I needed to wash off the sweat caused by the dream. I hurried into the large tiled shower and cleaned quickly, spending as little time as possible in the shower. Once finished I dried off and changed into the pretty light pink dress. It was certainly something acceptable for the Gala. The top was form fitting but modest, not showing an inch of cleavage. A small black belt sat around my waist and the rest of the silky material flared out, falling almost to my knees. It was befitting of my image of the perfect christian girl.

I hated this dress. Still, I ignored my own feelings and got to work on my hair, blow drying it out and then running a quick brush through it. Sarah would be disappointed if I let it down in it's slightly curly mess so I pulled it back into a low side bun to keep it out of my face. I applied the minimal amount of makeup possible, spritzed on some perfume, and headed back into my room. The lights of the car filtered in through my window blinds just as I put on the simple black wedges, and only seconds later did I hear the cheerful voice of my sister-in-law calling to me from downstairs.

I rolled my eyes, straightened out my dress, and prepared to play good christian girl. I met Sarah at the bottom of the stairwell. She was all fancied up with her blonde hair in perfect curls and her makeup perfectly done. She smiled sweetly at me, offering me her hand. I refused her offer and walked passed her and out the front door.

"Come on now then sweetie, we got a party to go to!" Sarah chirped, not at all affected by my denial of her help. She motioned me on towards the waiting limo, and opened the door for me. I climbed in, taking a seat on the opposite side of my brother.

Steve Newlin was my older brother by nine years and the current reverend of the Fellowship of the Sun Church. He was also a known bigot, a grade-A douchebag, and a closet homosexual-even if he wasn't aware of it himself. He gave me a wide grinned smile, showing off that same false optimism with me as he did everyone else. He was so painfully ignorant it almost hurt to look at him.

"Excited for the party, little sister?" He enthused. I couldn't be bothered to smile. I gave a non-committal shrug, hoping that would be good enough for him. His smile dampened slightly, the disappointment at my response obvious. Steve and I used to be close, before the accident. Not in a 'tell you all my secrets' kind of way, but in a 'we're friends but only because we're too superficial to care about depth' kind of way. Still, he was my brother, and I was the only family he had left besides Sarah. I forced a small smile, even if it did feel like ripping my mouth open with barbed wire.

He perked up after that, and went on one of his little rants, claiming all about how fun the party would be and how great the food was. Sarah chimed in every once in awhile, doing her best to get me excited. I appreciated their trying, but it was more than a little annoying.

I couldn't wait to get out of that stupid car. Fortunately, the drive wasn't long and we arrived at the swanky Louisiana hotel within ten minutes. Sarah practically yanked me out of the limo before it had even stopped, nearly jumping in her stilettos in pure joy. Steve followed soon after, and we began our journey into the hotel's banquet hall.

The place was already packed with people, all worshippers of the bullshit my brother likes to preach. We were immediately greeted by dozen of them, all desperate to speak to the great Reverend. Thankfully, Sarah quickly caught onto my anxiety and began to steer me out of the surrounding group. She brought me towards the long table in the center of the room, helping me sit down in one of three chairs. She leaned down so we were face to face, giving me a kind smile and brushing some of my hair from my face.

"I know you must be hungry, I'll have one of the waiters bring you something to eat alright?" I nodded gratefully, and she went off to find one of the staff. I could say a dozen choice things about Sarah, most of them about how delusional she was, but I couldn't ignore the fact that she was always kind to me. She was even kinder to me than Steve, after the accident.

I think she knew that I was forever changed, though I don't think by how much. While Steve seemed to hold to this notion that his 'perfect' little sister was still in there underneath all the trauma, Sarah always gave me this knowing look. She knew there was no way I had left that accident without scars, even if they weren't physical.

A waiter stopped by with a plate of food and a glass of sparkling cider. I picked up a fork and ate without tasting, though I assumed the food was good. Steve had promised. It wasn't long before Sarah and Steve migrated over to the table, taking their seats and opening up the rest of the partygoers to eat as well.

Throughout the party, people came and went from our table, all mostly ignoring me besides a kind word, and praising Sarah and Steve, and god, mostly. "It's nice to meet ya'll." The heavy louisiana accent caught my attention, and I looked up. A handsome man, probably in his late twenties, stood in front of our table. He was chatting with Sarah and Steve, talking about the Light of Day camp in Dallas.

I detested that camp. Even before the accident, I had loathed going to it every year. I was stuck as the leader for the Girls cabin, and spent most of my time listening to girls whining and crying about something or other. Now, I didn't know if Steve expected me to go this year, though he had been dropping hints. Hopefully he wouldn't force me to go. If he did, he'd probably have to drag me out while I screamed bloody murder. I had no intention of going to that camp. I didn't even like going to church anymore.

"Oh, and this is my little sister, Danielle. She'll hopefully be attending the camp this year as well." Steve spoke jovially. Sarah shot Steve a look, but he paid her no mind. The man, Jason I had learned, looked towards me and grinned.

"Well hopefully I can make it." He replied. "It's nice to meet you, Danielle. I got a little sister just like you, cute as a button too." He complimented. I couldn't even be bothered to blush, like I might've done before. I shrugged might unlady-like.

"Thanks." I managed, my voice no more than a raspy whisper. Jason looked concerned, but his attention was quickly drawn away by Steve. Sarah was watching me with concerned eyes. She made a quick apology to Steve and Jason, and pulled me away from the table and towards an empty hallway.

"You feeling alright, darling?" She asked me, her forehead creasing with the worry she felt. I shrugged again, nibbling on my bottom lip. Did I feel alright? Physically, I guess I was fine. In fact, I'd felt rather energetic despite the amount of sleeping I'd been doing this past month. Mentally, I was worn out. Holding simple conversations was akin to doing AP calculus, and it certainly left me with a headache afterwards. She sighed sadly, placing her hands on my shoulders and once again leaning down to my level. "I know you're sad, Dani. So is Steve, and so am I. I just want you to know that I am here for you. God is too." The mention of God brought back the taste of copper in my mouth.

Warm, metallic blood. I surely had internal bleeding. It felt like I was choking on it, breathing it in and drowning my lungs.

I shook off the memory, meeting Sarah's gaze. "I don't want to go to the camp." I answered honestly. Maybe Sarah would take pity on me. She was more likely to than Steve was anyway.

"Oh honey, it's alright. Steve shouldn't have mentioned you being there." She said sternly. "It's only been a month since…" She trailed off, breathing in deeply and forcing a smile on her face. "I don't blame you. I wish you would go just as much as Steve does, but you don't have to if you don't feel up to it." She brushed stray hairs behind my ear, the warmth of her hands giving me a small comfort. I nodded, unable to speak anymore. "The party's almost over, and then we'll go and you can go to bed." I nodded again. She directed me back into the party and we took our seats back at the table.

Soon enough, the tortuous party was over.

…

I screamed. The gravity of the situation had finally set in, and I knew I needed help. My family needed help. My eyes widened into saucers at the realization, and I twisted my head around to look back into the ruined vehicle. I could see the mangled bodies of my parents among the glass, their faces and bodies drenched in blood. Further up on the road, passed the shattered windshield I could see the tipped over car seat of my baby sister.

Blood dripped down from the car seat onto the road. I screamed again.

I was screaming when I woke up. I fell straight out of bed, landing onto the hard wooden floor in a heap. I continued to scream, my mind still lost in the memory. Light peeked out from the hallway through the cracks of the door, and I faintly heard the sound of doors opening. "Bethany! Bethany!" I screeched, sobbing as I reached my arms out to reach for her. She was too far away, and I couldn't move.

"Dani! Dani! Oh my god, Dani!" Light drove out the darkness of my nightmare as Sarah rushed into my room. My mind cleared, the images fading as I realized where I was. She collapsed on the floor beside me, pulling my torso up until I rested on her lap. She cried as well, hugging me and cradling me to the best of her ability.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Sarah cried. I slowly started to calm, my breathing beginning to even out. Once my breathing was fully calmed, I pushed away from her slowly, sitting up on the floor of my room. She wiped away at her tears, watching me with saddened eyes.

"I'm alright." I told her softly. I wasn't alright, not really. But, what else could I say? I couldn't tell her that I was suffocating on the blood of that night. I couldn't tell Steve that I couldn't get the images out of my head. I couldn't tell god cause he didn't exist, and even if he did, I'd be pissed as hell at him anyway. The only safety I had was telling everyone I was okay, even if they didn't believe me. Sarah worked at drying her tears, wiping away at them furiously.

"Are you sure? It's not even three but we can get up. We can watch a movie or something till you feel better." I appreciated the thought, but I shook my head. I didn't want to get up. I wanted to lie on the floor and weep. Still, I knew that wouldn't fly so I forced myself to stand on wobbly legs, returning to my bed with Sarah's help. "Do you want me to stay till you fall asleep?" She whispered, brushing her fingers through my hair. I shook my head again. She leaned down and kissed my forehead, whispering a final goodnight and then slowly leaving the room.

I laid there awake the rest of the night.

…

All too soon the sun shined in through the blinds of my room, reminding me that at some point, I was going to have to get up and face the day. I lazed around for as long as I could, but eventually I had to get out of bed. I tiptoed across the cold wood flooring towards my closet, grabbing the first dress I saw and heading towards the bathroom. I changed and went through my normal morning routine and then headed downstairs.

The smell of eggs and bacon made my stomach rumble, but I ignored it. I found Sarah and Steve in the kitchen. Sarah stood in front of the stove, making breakfast. Steve sat at the table, cup of coffee in one hand and a newspaper in the other. It was the cliche morning for every perfect family. Except, we were far from perfect.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Steve greeted, smiling up at me from the paper. I gave a small tilt of my mouth in greeting, and took a seat opposite him.

"Mornin'!" Sarah greeted as well, glancing back at me over her shoulder. "Want some breakfast?" She chirped. I shook my head.

"A cup of coffee?" I asked hopefully. Steve frowned, meeting my gaze with a disapproving stare.

"Dani, you know you're not allowed to have coffee." He reminded me. Sarah frowned then, walking over to the coffee machine and started to pour a cup.

"Steve, remember what I told you this morning?" She said through a tight lipped smile. "Poor Dani had a rough night. I think one cup of coffee to help her wake up isn't gonna hurt her." Steve looked like he wanted to argue, but Sarah's tone held no room for argument. "Cream or sugar?" Sarah then directed at me.

"Both." I asked. She nodded, popping in three sugar cubes and pouring some cream into the cup and then handed it to me. I took it, blowing on the liquid to cool it down. I took a sip, the hot liquid burning the tip of my tongue. I didn't mind though, and continued to take small sips. Soon, the bitter liquid was gone and I stood. "I'm gonna head to the church." I told them quietly, picking up my car keys off of the counter.

"Splendid idea! Some time with the lord might help you feel better!" Steve enthused. I nodded along, though that wasn't the real reason I was going to the church. I just needed to go to a place where I could sit in quiet and no one would bother me. I headed out of the house and into the garage, unlocking my white toyota yaris and climbing inside. My parents bought me the car for my sixteenth birthday.

The ride to the church was incredibly fast, the house only being barely a mile from the property. When I arrived several members of the church were already milling about. Many waved and smiled at me, but I didn't respond. If I even so much as smiled at them, they'd approach me. They'd ask me how I was doing, and I was tired of lying.

The Chapel was mostly empty save for a few of the elder members of the congregation. Light streamed in through the large windows on the far wall, encasing the benches in morning light. I took a seat in one of the middle section benches, setting down my purse and placing my hands in my lap. I bowed my head but I did not pray. If god was up there, we weren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment.

I sat there for hours. People came and went, and the sound of the doors opening and closing woke me from my thoughts every time. Still, I didn't move to leave. I may not believe in god anymore, but this chapel was one of the few places that brought me peace. I could just imagine my old life while sitting here. My father would be at the podium, preaching worship to the room filled with people. I would be sitting between Steve and my mother, who would both be listening intently. Either my mother or I would hold Bethany in our arms as we watched. She was always so quiet during church, almost like she was actually listening. She was the cutest baby in the world. She had these chubby round cheeks and big blue eyes. It was impossible not to love her.

It was still hard to believe she was gone.

Soon, the light from the windows faded to darkness, and I was all alone in the chapel. It wouldn't be long before I got a call from Steve or Sarah, asking me where I was. I just wasn't quite ready to leave yet. I wasn't done torturing myself with nostalgia, picturing the life I would no longer have.

I moved towards the podium, opening up the cabinet beneath it and searching the papers. Steve always left Dad's old speeches and sermons here to read and reference, but I couldn't find them. Perhaps he had retired them? The thought frustrated me. Those weren't just Steve's, though he'd like to believe they were. My brother would love to believe that everything our parents had left belonged to him. Technically, even half of this church belonged to me, though I'd probably get grounded for saying so.

Like I cared.

He must've put them down in the basement, with most of mom and dad's old church things. There were several boxes down there just filled to the brim with all the old items in dad's office. It made most sense for him to place them there.

I grabbed my purse and left the chapel, heading towards the back stairs to the basement. If Steve didn't want those sermons, then I would take them. I arrived at the door leading downstairs, grabbing the doorknob and tried to turn it. Unfortunately, it was locked.

The hell?

Steve never locked the basement door. He said he had nothing to hide from his congregation. Apparently, not so true. Now I was curious. Fortunately, I knew exactly where Steve kept the basement key, In fact, he hid it on the shelves right next to the door, underneath one of the special porcelain cups saved for events. Sure enough, the key was there and I put it into the lock and turned.

The door opened with a click. Satisfied, I stuffed the key in my pocket and pushed open the door. All was quiet in the basement, and dark. I changed that by flicking the lights on and heading downstairs. As I walked, I found nothing out of the ordinary. The same dusty boxes behind silver cag-silver cages? Since did we get silver cages? Since when did we need silver cages? What was my brother up to?

"Hello?" I called tentatively. There was no response. I shrugged to myself. The room started to feel strangely eerie, so I decided to just find dad's sermons and head back upstairs. I walked down the short hallway to the end of the hall, intent on finding the boxes full of his things.

What I found was much different.

There was a boy, around my age, maybe a bit older. He sat cross-legged on the hard concrete floor, hands resting on his thighs and his eyes closed. He was strangely still, and looked deathly pale.

"H-hello?" It was just a whisper, but his eyes snapped open. I jumped, startled. He stared at me curiously, though he didn't move to stand or move closer. He was too calm, too still, too perfect. I knew what he was. "Vampire." I gasped quietly, taking a step backwards. No way. Steve had a vampire in the church basement? Was he insane?

"Do not be frightened." He spoke calmly, eyes serene. He had a strange accent that I could not place, nor did I want to. "I will not harm you." His words were a promise, but I didn't believe them. I couldn't. Vampires killed my family.

Rage started to settle in the pit of my stomach. Fire burned through my veins, igniting a sense of self-righteous fury that I'd never known before. "Don't be frightened?" I scoffed, mocking his words. I took several angry steps, stopping at the front of the bars. "You're damn well right you're not going to hurt me!" I snapped at him, gripping onto the cage and rattling it. "Your kind can't do anything more to me than they already have! My parents are gone, my baby sister is gone! My life is gone, all because some bloodsuckers can't handle a little criticism!" I hissed. I backed up from the cage and began to pace.

"How could Steve do this? Why does he do this? Oh, I swear I'm going to kick his ass!" I ran a frustrated hand through my long locks as I fumed. I would seriously make Steve's life a living hell for this. I stopped abruptly, turning back to the cage. "I hate you! I hate you! I wish you didn't exist!" I was starting to cry. I couldn't bear to let that bloodsucker see my tears. I ran from the room, and didn't stop until I got to my car.

...

...(Looks away nervously)...

So...New story...

I should definitely be writing Two souls at the moment, but it's just...it's not coming to me. Maybe I'll get to it tonight because I kind of feel like writing but until then, here, have this. I wrote this a while ago actually, but I'm still struggling to write the second chapter (I have a little bit written) so I didn't want to post it. But, if I get good reviews, maybe I'll feel motivated to write.

Seriously, if you like this story, review. Please. I want to write so bad, but I can't find the desire, and the words won't come to me! Help!

Also, a few opening notes. I have a lot of this story already planned. (I spend many nights listening to music and coming up with storylines...) So, I know where this story is going up to season 5. Admittedly, getting it down is a different problem altogether, but usually if I know what I'm writing, it makes things easier.

Also, Danielle is a teenage girl. She's barely seventeen, she's lost her parents, and she's pissy. So, there are times your going to want to grab her by the shoulders and shake her a little and be like 'what are you doing?!' As the person writing this character, I understand this feeling. But, I don't want to do an injustice to the character and the story by ignoring those parts of her character and her story.

Following that, this story will be very depressing at certain points. As you may have guessed from the first chapter, Dani is not in a good place at the moment. As the story moves along, things will get worse before they get better and she may make some very dark and unhealthy decisions. I will try to place warnings in the beginning of chapters for this. This is also an M-Rated fic, meaning there will be smut. Don't judge me. This is True blood, afterall.

Okay, I think that's everything. Sorry for the rambling. Please review. For my sanity.

Thanks for reading!