Disclaimer: E L James owns all things 50

ALL mistakes are my own.

This is my new story, There will be more drama in this story than Flawless but at the core will still be the same. The two of them dealing with everything together.

I will still be updating Flawless twice a week and have updated chapter 44 today. This site is still playing up, so updates are not going out.

Ana Mia and Kate are sisters with Christian Elliot and Ethan being brothers, it worked better for the story that way.

Trigger warning for abuse in this chapter.

APOV

I could still smell the stench of the cigars he smoked, still feel the pain that they brought, it had been a long time since I had that nightmare and waking up disoriented covered in sweat it took me a few minutes before I realised I was home, in my own bed, in my own apartment.

That life wasn't mine any more, I was stronger than that. As a child, the only thing you want is the love and protection of a parent and I had just that, if only for a short while. My mother was ripped away from me as the car went off the road. If the lights hadn't shone up from the embankment where the car came to a stop, I could have died with her that night.

There were many times over the following years that I wish that I had.

"You're a worthless piece of shit" I was told many a time but at the age of five, you don't know what it means. Just that he was angry with me for some reason, although I didn't know why.

For many years the bruises I hid, telling everyone how clumsy I was when my friends asked where they came from. They didn't believe me wanting to take me away.

You know your time is up when you look down the end of a gun, I fought back and they didn't like it. I was in the wrong because I wouldn't lie still. Waking up to find yourself being pushed down onto the bed brought on panic, seeing the eyes of his friend as he lifted my nightgown it was fight or flight. I chose both reaching for my lamp as I hit him over the head, before running to the bedroom door and down the stairs.

"Get the fuck back up the stairs and finish what he has paid for," he said angrily pointing his gun.

I couldn't go back, I ran for the door pulling it open as I continued to the woods at the back of the house, to the path that would lead to Kate and Mia, the path that would lead to safety.

I ran as fast as my legs could move, seeing the lights from their house come into sight when I felt it, a pain like no other. Falling forward I couldn't move as they gained on me.

"Do you still want her José?" he said turning me over with his foot, my now bleeding shoulder full of the dirt from the forest floor.

"No you can keep her now, she looks like she's been in a train wreck. Ill fuck her when she looks better" he said walking away laughing.

"You, little girl as punishment can stay in the woods for the night, and if the animals don't finish you off or you don't bleed to death I will clean you up, your 11th birthday is coming up and I have plans for you."

I don't know how long I lay in the forest, the light of the porch still calling me, beckoning me to get up. I needed to move, help was there, Eamon would help me, fix me up like he had done many times when I had scraped my knee.

I used a small branch I had found to lift myself upright. I willed myself to move forward, counting in my head how many steps to keep my mind off the pain in my body and shoulder that was screaming to rest.

I reached the porch as my body gave way. A smash came after as I knocked a pot over, one of Claire's favourite.

A flurry of activity around me, I heard but it felt so far away. Hands on my face, on my wrist and pressure on my shoulder. I was safe now. I could rest.

…

I knew what had caused my nightmare to occur, there is no greater sorrow for a doctor especially when their patient was a small child, a child that had similar injury's to my childhood, a child I couldn't save.

A whimper beside me got my attention as my hand went to the side of the bed feeling the head of my faithful friend and fellow survivor Hugo, he was a Neapolitan Mastiff, who could tower over me when he stood up on his hind legs but was the softest dog ever as long as he knew you. His start was similar to mine but we were lucky to find each other.

"I'm fine boy," I said scratching his ears.

I got up after hearing a knock on the door. I stunk dripping with sweat, the shower was calling but I had to answer the door and also let Hugo out.

"Morning Ana" Mia said coming into my apartment knowing straight away a nightmare had occurred.

"Morning Mia what can I do for you."

"I'm allowed to come and see my sister aren't I," she said bumping hips with me before going into the kitchen and coming back with a handful of biscotti.

"You just come to get fed," I told her. When I have had a bad day at work I bake. I don't eat a lot of it, my sisters did that but it helps takes my mind off everything.

"Good morning sister's" Kate walked into my apartment also going to feed her face.

"You both have kitchens in your own apartment's so stop raiding mine," I said as they came into the living room with their mouths full.

We all had apartments in the same apartment block on the same floor, there was only one other apartment on our floor and that was occupied by a pest. Eamon and Claire Kavanagh had saved my life and taken me in when I was a small child. I know for a fact that I would be dead if it wasn't for them. They had wanted to adopt me but I couldn't, family to me meant pain, that was all I had ever felt from my real family and I couldn't do it again.

"You know for a fact that we can't cook for shit and you said something about an Italian stew appearing when you spoke to mum," Kate said.

"Well, the ingredients are in the fridge so you're welcome to make the stew. I was planning on making it tomorrow so you're a day early" I said getting stuttering replies from both.

"I'm going to take Hugo out, please leave some food in my apartment," I said walking out of my apartment and down the stairs with my furry friend following me.

The communal gardens were safe from the road and Hugo could run around to his heart's content, a few of the residents didn't like that I had a dog in the building but he was good as gold unless your name was Paul Clayton and then he liked to growl at you.

Going back up in the elevator we passed Paul's door on the corridor, Hugo growling as we walked by and back into Mia's apartment where he would stay until I finished my shift tomorrow morning. I was due at the hospital in just over an hour, so I needed to get a move on.

…

"Good morning Dr Steele" I was greeted when I arrived in clinic. Being a paediatrician was one of the most rewarding jobs when you could help a child and the most heartbreaking when I lost one.

I worked with children from a simple virus up to serious illnesses. Having done rotations in all departments before settling in paediatrics. Turning away a child in need wasn't an option for me no matter how many times I got into trouble with the hospital board. It's hard not to get angry when you have a sick child and I'm supposed to ask for insurance details before their blood group.

I tried to build a good rapport with the parents as well as the child, some of my children here have been for a while so it's nice to have a friendly face they know.

I was waiting for my next patient to come in when a knock occurred on my door. It opened and I could do nothing but smile.

Max Flynn had been a very ill little boy when he was first admitted and to see him now bouncing into my office, it was such a joy to see.

"Good morning Mr Max," I said receiving a hug before he ran back to sit on his grandmother's knee.

"Good morning Dr Ana," he said.

"How has he been Rhian," I asked her as Max was bouncing on Grace's knee giggling away.

"Well as you can see, healthy and active," she said.

"Are you coming to my birthday Dr Ana?" he asked me.

"I would love to, when is it," I asked him.

"September 3rd," he said laughing

"September and you're planning your birthday now, we're in March," I said joining in with his laughter.

"I know but I will be 8 and uncle Christian said we had to celebrate it because I was poorly last birthday."

"That is something to celebrate then. I will put it in my diary so I don't miss it. Do you know my birthday is one week after yours so If I forget yours I will forget mine too" I said.

"It's next to my birthday," he said in awe before going off to play in the corner with the toys.

I spoke to Rhian and Grace about his latest results which had comeback well, he had been in remission for just over a year and I hope he stayed like that and continued to stay well.

"So dinner on Saturday and then hit a bar," Grace said as I laughed.

Grace, Rhian and I had gone out many times over the past 3 years since we had met with Kate and Mia. We all bumped into each other one night about a month after Max was admitted. I think it was more Grace getting me away from the hospital after that. She is great to talk to and we have had many drunken conversations usually her drunk and I just nodding and agreeing with what she said. Knowing the basic details about my childhood She didn't pry for more information. Grace spoke fondly of her family, Carrick I had met on many occasions but I had yet to meet her three sons, Elliot, Christian and Ethan.

I know what the rumours were about the family as people gossiped when they had nothing better to do. The family was supposed to have criminal connections but I had only ever found friendship with the people I had met. If they were the most dangerous of family's then, what did that say about me when I felt safe around them.

They left my office after a hug from Max and arrangements made for Saturday night.

…

My clinic had gone well and I have just finished my ward round. Everyone had been fed and the ward had quietened down for the evening.

I ate in the staff room preferring to eat by myself. I don't make friends easily just acquaintances. Apart from Kate, Mia and their parents along with the Greys and Flynn's they were the only people I could let myself get close too. I had gone out for dinner with Andrea a fellow paediatrician and her husband once but finding out he was a cop. I just didn't feel comfortable with him.

I had just finished my dinner when nurse Mandy came in.

"Sorry Ana, Molly has been a bit sick, could you check on her please" I nodded before getting up and going to room 12.

"Is she ok?" her mum said as soon as I stepped through the door.

"Are you not feeling well sweetheart?" I said taking her temperature.

"Her temperature is a little elevated, I will give her some children's paracetamol for now which should bring it down but I will monitor her through the night. Like we discussed, sickness can be a side effect from the new medication she is on" writing on her notes, I sent Mandy to get the paracetamol before turning to her mother Lillian.

"How are you doing," I asked her.

"Trying to stay strong for her, but it's hard sometimes," she said trying to hide her tears from Molly.

Gavin, Lillian's husband came in then from the bathroom, seeing her upset he was immediately by her side.

"Why don't you both go and get something to eat from the canteen, have a break if only for half an hour. I will stay with Molly."

"I can't," Lillian said shaking her head.

"Please Lily," Gavin said eventually persuading her to get out of this room for a little while.

"You have our number if you need us," Lillian said.

Holding her notes and the phone up I told her I would put her on speed dial as they left the room.

"Now Miss Molly what would you like to do," I said as she pointed to her favourite book.

Picking up the book I started to read.

A mouse took a stroll through the deep dark wood.

Molly loved the book doing the voices with me before we said the last line together.

The mouse found a nut and the nut was good.

"Did you enjoy that Molly?" I asked her. She was a beautiful little girl, never complained no matter how much she had been in pain sometimes.

"Yes Dr Ana, my favourite."

I stayed with her until Lillian and Gavin returned, they took it in turns to stay with her at night but with the way she was progressing she would be home very soon as long as her temperature doesn't become a problem.

…

I could feel my bed calling me as morning approached, 24 hours I had been here. I managed to get half an hour of sleep here and there in the doctor's room but being on call I can never fully relax.

I went in to check on Molly who had a stable night and was wide awake when I went to the door. Waving goodbye, I told her I would see her in a few days. I had two days off now and I planned to sleep as much as I could.

Collecting my things and handing over to Andrea I left through the front door bumping into Kate on her way in. She was an obstetrician here at Northwest as Mia was a nurse. It's funny how we all ended up working in the same hospital, but it works for all of us.

"Morning Kate," I said giving her a hug.

"Morning, you look like you're about to fall over," she said, she wasn't far from the truth.

"Mia took Hugo out so you can get some sleep as she's on a late today."

I said goodbye and told her I will see her later when my cab beeped his horn. I always have a cab booked for when I do a days shift, it saves me crashing and ending up back in A & E but then again I would be in safe hands as Eamon is one of the lead doctors here.

...

"Thank you," I said getting out of the cab.

I used my key fob to gain access to the communal grounds, going straight into the elevator and up to my floor.

I had just gotten past his apartment when the door opened.

"Morning Ana you look nice today," he said.

He seriously needed glasses, I looked like shit, smelt like vomit and he thought I looked nice. What planet is this guy on.

"Goodnight Paul," I said walking past him and into my apartment before he could say anything more.

Hugo was lay by the door waiting for me, his tail going so fast I'm sure he could knock someone out with it.

"Hugo, you've been a good boy," I said rubbing his ears and patting him before he lay on his back spread eagled wanting his belly rubbed.

"You're a typical man, just want to flash your bits. You should do that to Mrs Grimsleys Chihuahua, then again no you have toys bigger than that" I'm so tired I'm having a conversation with a dog.

I walked into my bedroom after putting some biscuits and fresh water down for him. I pulled some clothes from my closet before showering. The spray nice on my tired body.

I towel dried my hair before going into my room. Hugo was spread out in his bed in the corner of my bedroom on sentry duty no doubt.

Sitting on the bed I picked up the only picture of my mum and me I had. I look more like her every day. A smaller version is in her locket that I wear all the time. They had given it to Claire after the crash because he couldn't be bothered to come to the hospital to see me. Claire had kept it until I was safe.

The anniversary will be here before I know it, 20 years. There is nothing I would like more than to put flowers on my own mothers grave but I can't, I haven't been back to that town since we left 15 years ago and I didn't know if he was still there. The coward had run when everyone had found out what had happened but that didn't mean he couldn't go back. I had worked so hard and achieved so much to let him win.

I put mums photo down going to her puzzle box. I loved this box as a child, love the magical secrets it held. This and my mother's locket were the only things I had kept from my childhood.

It looked like a normal large wooden box but it has a secret drawer at the bottom which can only be opened if you knew the right combination. I had only opened it once when I was younger seeing papers in a language I couldn't read. I opened the lid picking the photos up inside. I don't know how Claire and Eamon got the box but I was grateful they did.

Mum had always told me to always take it whenever I moved as it held secrets that would be revealed one day.

I picked letter's up that I would never open, they were not for me. Family, I think they are for. One said mum and dad, the other said Mac.

Closing the box I climbed into bed thinking of my mother, her laughter, her love that shone through every day.

I drifted off to sleep hoping that my mother could keep the nightmares away for just tonight.

Let me know what you think.

I've had the summary written for over a year but wanted to post Flawless first. I'm not sure what the schedule will be for this one, I would say once a week until flawless is finished, more if I get the chance. I do have a few chapters pre-written but all need editing at the moment.

I am not a doctor in any way, so anything medical I write is written just to fit in with the story.

Christian's pov will be next and they will meet. Even though this will be a mafia story the focus will be on Christian and Ana, though there will be some violence in later chapters I'm very squeamish so it will not go into too much detail, it's more the environment that surrounds them.

Until next time

Caroline