This chapter was written to "Jealous" by Labrinth on repeat.

My playlist "Rhysand's Sister" is on Spotify.

We reappeared in a medley of trees, much different from the mangled ones of the Spring Court that would be burned into my mind from this moment onward.

Bad metaphor, I decided remembering the scars between my wings I still hadn't been brave enough to look at.

"What happened?" Rhys cut through the air before he'd even put both feet on the ground. Azriel and Cassian both took a step back from us.

"I don't know," I tried. I wasn't sure whether I should be apologizing or not. Whether I was in the right or not. I wasn't sure of much after the gaping hole I felt in my gut. The bond was still there, but tortured and twisted. One more broken piece of me to add to my collection of shattered glass. I imagined what colors would make up my mismatched glass window like those of the Priestess' temples.

Only black came to mind.

"You don't know? Cauldron, seriously?" Rhys chided and because I knew he was battling with his own bond tugging at him in relentless need, I let him.

I couldn't say the same for Cassian. "C'mon man."

Rhys darted his eyes to his brothers, his best friends. Azriel tipped the slightest nod, agreeing with Cassian and I was again grateful for these people who had somehow found our family.

"You heard what he said to her, man," Cassian added when Rhys' stance didn't relax.

My brother took a deep breath and turned back to me. "What happened?" he asked again, this time sounding much more like my brother.

"I…" I started, but the replay fizzled in my mind into whispers of hurt. I pulled my hair down, letting the long dark tresses act as my own personal curtain of protection and turned away from them. "He acted like the bond was… Like he was helpless."

The three Illyrian men stared at me and I begged them to understand. I begged them to need no more from me. I couldn't give any more of myself. I couldn't continue to expect that I would ever be given more. If I wanted more, I would have to take it.

"He has no idea what helplessness feels like," Rhysand said, his voice quiet, but strong. My heart thudded in my chest at his words, remembering then that he, too, was in the throes of understanding a mating bond and navigating these waters that did seem to only further my own lack of control in my life. Pride shot through me when I caught my brother's gaze. Perhaps the mating bond was doing well for him if he was standing up to his demons a bit more than he's been running from them.

I nodded and looked around my trees again, only now noticing their dying auburn hue. The burnt orange colors swirled in my vision as I realized they were on the branches and the ground, hiding any hint of grass that lie beneath. I backed up until my back hit something hard and I whipped around landing myself face to face with an Autumn Court tree.

Trees were not my thing.

"Gally," Cassian called, his voice almost a question. His footsteps crunched and I could nearly see the fall leaves beneath his leather boots.

I was going to be sick.

My brother's hand grabbed me by the arm and turned me toward where all three had come up on me. All three so close. Too close.

I felt the leaves closing in, as if they were so close I could feel their crisp reminders of death on my skin.

This is my brother, I reminded myself. I tried. I really tried.

But they were just too close.

I opened my mouth to warn them, but no words came out. An involuntary hand touched my open lips and I was pale, shaking. I clung to the details. The color. Desperately reaching for the present as the past sucked me in and all I could see were leaves and fire and bodies of bare skin, so many bodies on top of me.

A body crushed into mine and I gasped for breath just as I felt the winnow tear me through the air.

And then there were clear skies. I didn't notice I was falling until I landed on a hard back, wings outstretched. I looked up into Azriel's eyes, his arms still dangling from where he dropped me before he flew away.

Leaving me in the open air. Clouds danced as we soared through the fresh taste of high altitudes. There was space. There was freedom.

No hands on my body. Nothing closing me in, drowning me out.

I drank the air like I'd been dying of thirst.

With a swift roll, I tumbled to the right and my flyer dipped his wing. I dropped down through the sky, my hair tearing through the wind. Cassian watched as I descended beneath him, his eyes a mist of gentleness I'd missed in my old friend. A smile was born on my face in a quiet way I couldn't explain and I ripped my wings to life from the pocket I held them in.

My brother flew off to our left and the four of us drifted through the softening afternoon air until I came up beside Rhysand and said, "We should go back."

He descended immediately, finding a rocky clearing near the rear of a pattern of hills. I followed and before I landed he asked, "What?"

"We should go through with this alliance and see where it takes us," I answered just as Azriel and Cassian flew drills over our heads like militant vultures.

"Where it takes us?" he repeated.

"If there is truly going to be a war, then we need to be prepared for it. I'd rather be working with them instead of seeing what they would do on their own." I couldn't bring myself to say his name. I wondered when I would ever be able to speak the High Lord of the Spring Court's name with the same ease as any other male. As if he were nothing special. As if he weren't my mate.

Rhys searched his thoughts with a brief stare into the distance behind me before saying, "I agree, but we can't have any more outbursts like this. I will not tolerate this kind of behavior from him. He hurts you again I will end him."

I rolled my eyes lightheartedly, but my heart lifted.

"Okay, well, I'll take away his ability to speak for a few days. Or maybe years."

I shook my head and found myself again thinking of my gratefulness for this male, for my brother. "We'll see," I told him and we looked up to Azriel and Cassian before leaping into the skies to join them once more.

"So?" Cassian asked. Azriel continued to search the skies, as if there was never rest from threats against the High Lord of the Night Court. I wondered if Azriel ever thought himself to be my brother's bodyguard? I'd have to ask him one day. Definitely in front of someone that would make him blush.

"We'll head back to Spring in the morning. For now, let's go home. Let this blow over." Listening to Rhys talk to Cassian was one of my favorite small things in life. A lord speaking with his general. They could be talking about the weather and their tone would still squeeze out every shred of professionalism within them.

"Gally?"

I turned to Cassian who apparently had a death wish. "Call me Gally one more time and see what happens."

He gave me a look that said yeah right before responding, "You up to winnow back?"

And I knew that my brother would think about how he'd intended to take me back himself, in my weaker state and whatnot, but something about Cassian almost challenging me to rise above and still be able to winnow us both… I was again, grateful.

"You know it."

I launched myself at him and he fell back, letting out a startled, "Oh!" before I flung us through a rift in the world.

Author's Note: Thanks for tuning in! I have news! I am participating in a collaborative story that plays out a classic "murder mystery dinner party locked in a mansion scene" in the ACOTAR world with the next generation of High Lords. Take a peek at my heir of the Autumn Court, Brynle, a strong willed red head whose greatest fear has come true following the death of her father, Eris. Watch her take over her father's shoes with his brothers on her heels and mayyyyyybe find a mate in a certain night court son?

This fic is published under a different account "acourtofdreamers" and the story is called "A Court of Dreamers". Check it out on this site and show me and my SEVEN friends some love.

As always, thank you for reading and reviewing. So much love.

Xoxo

Jordan