Two weeks ago, Jim Davis spoke to me in dreams and whispered to my ear the following words: "Jashi will be canon...And when that happens, I will lick your salty tears...I will lick them all while listening my Kings of Convenience CD..."

And I replied to him:

"Fuck off, Jim Davis. Your comic strip isn't that good and you have no idea of what are you talking about. Jashi will never be canon. Jack and Ashi will have a father/daughter relationship like in Logan. And then Jack will probably die, just like Logan died. And then Ashi will be the main character of the spin-off, Samurai Ashi..."

Jim Davis didn't reply anything. Instead of that, he smiled in an ominous, malevolent manner that reminded me of Aku (and maybe the Joker) But somehow, his smile felt even more menacing, more terrifying.

It was the smile of a man who was completely determined to lick my tears.

He smiled, but there wasn't any emotion reflected in his eyes. His smile was a nightmare beyond comprehension.

I prayed I never had to see that smile once again, but my prayers were not heard. Deep inside, I knew I was destined to see Jim Davis once again, no matter how much I feared him.

And that fateful saturday night, the night that Jashi finally became canon, I could feel an ominous presence next to me...

I could feel his cold breath over my neck and I also could feel his invisible hand caressing my face, as if he was truly enjoying this moment.

He was mocking me...Tormenting me mercilessly.

"Curse you, Jim Davis..." I whispered with despair as I starting to fall asleep. "Curse you, motherfucker..."

I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes, but even in the deepest darkness of the Dream Realm, I could still feel the cold palm of Jim Davis over my face and my shoulders, whispering to me the following words in a mocking tone:

"Don't be afraid, it's only me... The door wasn't locked."

That was the last thing I heard before the salty tears of my face were licked off my face by the viperine, almost inhumane tongue of Jim Davis.

Oh God. That urban legend was true after all...Humans can lick too...