Raison d'être:

(snk fanfiction)

Summary: "Good men die for their loved ones. Great men die for their ideals." A dictator is reborn as Eren Jaeger and wants nothing more than to live quietly and atone for his sins.

Prologue:

'I bear a charmed life which must not yield / To one of woman born' (Macbeth: Act 5, Scene 8)

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'Please…please…don't do this—I beg—please…' The woman, who had been quite beautiful—save her eyes that shone and whispered of the sweetest innocence that this wretched world could buy. A woman—whom I call my wife—that was currently begging at my feet.

'That's enough Johanna.' Came out the curt, gruff reply.

Somewhere in the deep, dark part of my psyche, I recognized the voice as my own—but as dream-like trances go, I was unable to comprehend the proper significance of this fact.

'-He's your son!' The woman cried out, tears streaming down her cheeks…and then there were her eyes. The hopeless despair reflected in those bright green eyes made something about her change. I couldn't pin-point 'what' exactly however.

'-hah,' she scoffed, voice laced with cold venom and devouring hatred.

'In the end…in the end, you'd even kill off your own flesh and blood, wouldn't you?'

Ah. Now I see—I have ruined you too Johanna, haven't I? But nevertheless, you will live; because brave and ever-righteous Arnold would take care of you, wouldn't he? He's the darling hero of the Rebellion and a good man who loves you. Only you'd be kept safe from dying a morbid death…my beloved Johanna…for you have never done anything wrong except to have married a man who had made far too many enemies of this world.

'That's right,' I reply with masked, nonchalant ease. And with equal grace, I move past beyond her—but the haunting wails reach my ears like plagues anyways.

The toothless babe in my hold smiles up at me—the ignorant thing. Unaware of his fate; an imminent death that looms over like a cursed omen.

And all because of that wretched, wretched blood in those small veins of his. Even if he were to live, it'd be in constant hiding and fear. Fear of being caught, and tortured. Made to suffer in the place of his evil, fool of a father. And for what? To quell the bloodthirst and vengeance of the general populace of course.

For the first time since the child's birth, I brought the babe close and placed a careful peck to his temple. As though he were the purest of angels and I, the fiendish Devil himself.

And I prayed—with all my atheist being, to whatever divine entity that may or may not be…that he'll be watched over from heaven—for I would not be able to.

From my breast-pocket, (where I would've usually kept my pistol ironically) I then proceeded to take out two needle syringes filled with sickly black liquid.

First, I inserted myself and then, the child. It would've taken the poison less to travel through his bloodstream anyways.

He began to wail. And Johanna's wracked sobs also came back to life with a fervour.

At this point, my eye-sight begins to blur and wobble—but I manage not to drop the boy still—perhaps a last minute awakened parental instinct?

Although…it was too late now at this point.

The crying stops at some point and I'm on my knees.

One last time, I look up with my doubled vision to a blurring outline of a figure. Johanna…you must…live…well.

SOUTHERN EDGE, WALL MARIA, YEAR 835; (SHIGANSHINA DISTRICT)

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"oh, who's my little hunter? You are! My precious, precious, baby boy!" Carla Jaeger cooed embracing a small brown bundle to her chest.

"Grisha, come look at Eren! He's just so…so…adorable!" She squealed, trying to describe the feeling of her mother-bear instincts going into overdrive whenever her little cub is involved.

"yes, yes, Carla. You've said that about…I don't know—a hundred times now." Her husband called, his head poking out of the kitchen.

"Although, I'm pretty sure Eren looks just the same as the last time I saw him dear."

"Well." Mrs. Jaeger pursed her lips and lifted her nose upward snootily in mock indignance.

"Maybe it's time you get some new glasses then seeing as your eyes aren't working quite proper anymore."

"Carla, you wound me-"

A sharp, intake of breath could be heard and then-

"Oh Grisha! Grisha! Eren's just opened his eyes! He's blinking! Blinking I say! Here, come take a look—quick quick!"

As per his wife's excited exclamations, Grisha Jaeger was quick to abandon the dishes in the sink and rushed out of the kitchen with soap suds still on his hands.

When he caught sight of the tiny baby, he was overtaken with stunned awe.

He was only able to get his wits together enough to speak momentarily after.

"Now would you look at that. I don't think his eyes take after either of us I'm afraid."

"Goodness, I know—but they're so pretty dear, aren't they?"

"I dare say I've seen no colour quite like it."

"They're so…green though, aren't they?" Carla asked, looking upward at her husband.

"The greenest," He tells his wife assuredly as he kisses the top of her head.

The baby with the green eyes continued to stare fixedly upon his parents; slowly blinking.