Chapter Thirty Two - Head to Head

It was crazy to think how quickly everything had changed for me - for everyone, really. Almost 10 weeks had passed since departing St Vladimir's, and although it didn't really feel like it had been that long, I was thankful the adventure was over.

"No more living in fear, Roza." Dimitri whispered into my ear from where he was sat beside me in a Guardian SUV while driving to Abe's airstrip. Lissa and Christian were sat in the row behind us, while Lissa's Guardian's Woods and Lyttle were driving and sat in second, respectively. In front of us was another car where Abe, Janine, Pavel, Eddie, and Adrian were. Some of Baba's other Guardians were in a third vehicle behind us, also carrying everybody's luggage.

Dimitri slipped his hand beneath the blanket I was cuddled in against the car door, immediately finding mine and resting it in my lap. When I looked up at him, I saw no signs of regret or sadness to be leaving his home country behind - only happiness, and content. "You're not sad to be leaving Russia?" I inquired curiously.

"Of course I am - Russia will always be where my family is." He said warmly with a glint in his eye. "But I've realised after these last few weeks, it is no longer my home." I furrowed my brows at his sudden change of heart, sitting up straighter to listen to his words. "Home is where the heart is, and you're where my heart is. You're my home, Malyshka."

I heard Christian mutter something rude under his breath, before earning a scolding from Lissa. I pretended not to hear him as I gazed up at my love with such awe and adoration. "You're my home, too, Comrade." I said so quietly only he could hear me. His face lit up at my words, and he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to my lips.

The car was comfortably silent for the rest of the drive to the airstrip, Dimitri holding me in his arms the entire time while occasionally kissing my forehead. I'd even begun to doze it was so quiet, before being jerked awake by the sound of Christian's voice. "Rose, I don't suppose you know the flight times for when we'll get back to the Academy, do you?"

I yawned slightly as I sat up, Dimitri adjusting himself to let me do so and the blanket pooling around my legs. I turned slightly to face over the back of the chair, seeing Christian with his arm wrapped around Lissa. "I might do, Sparky. Why the curiosity?"

He shrugged casually. "No reason in particular, just wanting to know how long we'll be flying for."

"Providing we leave before eight-thirty, we should arrive in Frankfurt about two-thirty local time. Then we'll probably stop there for some food and for the plane to be refueled, get back on about four. We've got a ten hour flight to Denver, then depending on how everyone feels we'll either stop there for the night or continue on to Missoula and rest there instead." Baba had given Dimitri and I the run down before we'd left his estate, just so we could let Alberta back at St Vlad's know when we were expected to return. "Either way we'll be back at the Vampire Academy by Saturday-"

"Don't call it that!" Lissa scolded me with a harsh frown, and I raised my hands up defensively in surrender

"Sorry, Liss." I mumbled half heartedly, mentally sighing that she was still so sensitive with that term. "Anyway, that gives us all the day to unpack and settle back into Moroi hours before classes start back up on Monday."

"And then what?" Christian furrowed his brows. "Everything just... goes back to normal? We pretend as if nothing happened?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but was surprised when Dimitri responded first. "For you, Lord Ozera and Princess Dragomir, yes." He turned his body slightly so he could see the two Moroi as well as me, a professional expression on his face. "Rose and I will be meeting with Headmistress Kirova and Guardian Petrov on Sunday to discuss everything that has happened, and how we plan to move forwards."

"Won't Kirova and Alberta want to question them as well?" I narrowed my eyes at my Russian God, and he tilted his head to the side with a thoughtful expression.

"Perhaps," he admitted. "However we won't know that until after we have met with them. So for now, I'd like both Christian and Vasilisa to try and slip back into their regular routines." He then turned to speak to the two of them directly. "i wouldn't want you to worry yourselves with the logistics about the aftermath, especially as we are now so close to graduation. Focus on your studies, and look after yourselves - that is your main priority."

I could tell that Christian wanted to say something to oppose Dimitri's words, however his opportunity as cut short with our arrival at the landing strip.

Abe's jet was incredibly ostentatious, as I should have expected from such a man. From the outside it was a bulky black jet with thin silver stripes decorating it horizontally, and red details on the engine and wings. Inside was even more illustrious, with a modern style of furniture in strictly white, grey, and beige. There was three different 'sections' to it for the passengers, one being a large living room like area with tables and sofas on either side of the plane. In the centre there was a bar on one side, and two chairs facing each other with a table between them on the other side. At the very tail end before the toilets was a more cozy seating area with a corner sofa and a twirly armchair. There was even a TV up on the wall.

"Holy shit." Eddie voiced what everyone else was thinking as he entered the plane, standing up straight and staring at it in awe. "This place is swanky enough to live in."

"Why thank you, Eddie." Abe smirked to himself from where he was stood in the jet by the cockpit door, nodding as he let everyone in. "She is a beauty, and I'm glad others can appreciate it."

The jet itself held 18 passengers, and there was 14 of us, so there was just enough room for everyone to rest comfortably. In the end, Dimitri and I found ourselves down the far end of the plane cuddled in the corner of the sofa there. Eddie, Adrian, Christian, and Lissa also joined us, the 'kids' taking up one end of the jet while the adults took up the other side - save for Dimitri, of course.

Some point during the first flight, Dimitri pressed a soft kiss to my forehead to get my attention. I looked at him curiously, before following his gaze to where my parents were sat at the chairs facing each other in the centre of the aircraft. I could only see Baba's face, though there was a softness there as he gazed into my mother's eyes. They were leaning over the table holding each other's hands. "Your parents seem to be getting on well." Dimitri commented quietly in my ear.

"For now." I laughed conspiratorially, knowing better than to count my chickens before they hatched - especially when it came to those two. "They've got a lot of catching up to do, that's for sure. I know Abe regrets not being there for my childhood, and I think Mom is beginning to realise the true damage she did by taking me away."

"Do you think they'll manage to work things out?" Lissa asked curiously, and I pursed my lips.

"I honestly don't know." I was still gazing intently at where my parents sat, though neither of them noticed. I felt Dimitri rub my back soothingly to bring my attention back to him, and I sighed softly. "I guess we'll find out soon enough."

"Let's play a game."

Right on schedule we'd landed in Denver at 6pm, and everyone was prepared to fly the final stretch - so that's what we did. The day had been long and tiring, especially with so much timezone changing from the flight, and by the time we'd landed in Missoula at 8 in the evening everybody was in a slightly strange mood.

Abe had bought an entire floor out of a local hotel near the airport for everyone to stay in during the evening, in total using seven of the nine rooms on the floor. Abe had managed to arrange some feeders back in Denver due to it being very close to a local Moroi hotspot, so he, Christian, Lissa, and Adrian had been taken care of then. At the hotel in Missoula, everyone had ordered pizza, before settling into their rooms for the night.

Dimitri had recommended everybody try and stay awake for as late as possible in the early morning, so we could try and adjust their sleep/wake cycle into the Moroi schedule. Luckily for us, most of us had slept on the plane, so by midnight most of us were wide awake.

Most of us had convened in a private balcony setting on the floor we'd bought out, being surrounded by bright orange woven chairs and matching beige woven tables to accompany them. The weather outside was cool, not entirely freezing, though a couple of us had grabbed blankets anyway to wrap ourselves in.

I was sat on the floor wrapped in a blanket while Dimitri was on the chair behind me, my back resting on his legs and one of his hands draped over my shoulder so I could hold it. Eddie, Adrian, Lissa, Christian, Guardian Serena, and Guardian Alicia were also there. While Lissa may have felt awkward having three Guardians there, I didn't - they weren't strictly on duty, and they were all close enough in age that it didn't feel weird to be hanging out with them in a friendly manner. After all, Serena was just nineteen years old, and Alicia was weeks off her twenty-fourth birthday.

"You always want to play a game, Liss." I chuckled at my best friend from where she sat opposite me on a chair, her legs crossed and her hands in her lap.

"Well, if we're going to be awake for another Vlad-knows how many hours, we might as well entertain ourselves."

"How about a game of Truth or Truth?" Eddie suggested unhelpfully from where he was flopped over on his stomach on one of the long woven sofas there, picking at a slice of pizza from earlier.

"How about we don't play that?" I glared at him fearfully, and he smirked at me with a victorious expression as he popped a piece of stuffed crust in his mouth. I could feel Dimitri's curious gaze on the back of my head, and I turned slightly to look up at him. "It's like Truth or Dare, except it's only truth. Eddie, Mase, Lissa, and I used to play it all the time back at the Academy. Sometimes it would get..." I ran my tongue over my teeth as I tried to think of the right word, side glancing Eddie and his mischievous smile. "Interesting."

"I'm completely up for interesting." Adrian grinned as he raised the bottle of alcohol he was drinking, before taking a swig. "Let's get some dirty secrets out there."

I glanced up at Dimitri, before around at the others sat there on the balcony. "If everyone else is up for it then go ahead." I waved my hands dismissively, hoping they knew what they were getting themselves into - especially Serena and Alicia, who didn't have much of a clue about how the younger people thought sometimes.

"What if we refuse to answer?" Alicia asked curiously from where she was sat beside Serena, dressed in some comfortable looking pyjamas.

"If we could find alcohol then they'd take a shot." Eddie explained as he shifted himself to sit up properly on his sofa. "If not, usually they just weren't allowed to ask anyone else any questions - we thought that was pretty fair."

Adrian went to lift up the bottle he was holding as a gesture to play the first way, but Dimitri silenced him with a menacing glare before scolding the rest of the group - "I'd rather we weren't all hungover for travelling back to The Academy tomorrow."

"Sober version it is." Serena said with mock-disappointment, though she didn't look as disappointed as she sounded.

I shrugged as I stood myself up and moved to sit on Dimitri's lap as he opened up his arms for me. "It's your funeral, guys." I laughed menacingly as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "This game can get pretty juicy - don't say I didn't warn you."

I saw Adrian roll his eyes at my comment out of the corner of my eye, and Eddie just laughed at me. It was silent for a moment as Eddie looked around suspiciously, and I narrowed my eyes at him, fully aware of what he was about to do.

"Nose asks first." He blubbered in a hurry as he placed a finger on the tip of his nose, myself and Adrian being not too far behind him. Serena quickly followed, then Christian, then Dimitri, then Alicia, and finally...

"Lissa asks first!" I grinned victoriously with my finger still against my nose, watching her 'humph' and glare around at everyone.

"No fair! You know I'm never quick enough at that."

"Hey, that's not our fault, Princess." I grinned, running my tongue across my teeth as I dropped my hand and settled further into Dimitri's arms. "You snooze, you lose."

She scowled at me again, and I blew a kiss in her direction as a genuine gesture of good will. Her resolve settled, and I saw her shoulders slump slightly before she began looking around at the group - choosing her target.

Finally her eyes settled on Guardian Alicia, which was a surprise even to me - they didn't know each other very well, so I would have expected her to choose someone she did know. "Guardian Alicia-"

"Just Alicia when we're off duty." She smiled kindly, and Lissa nodded.

"Alicia. What's the biggest romantic fail you've ever experienced?"

A couple of us laughed at Alicia's expression of dread as she muttered 'oh, jeeze' under her breath, and readjusted herself to sit more comfortably in her sleep. "I mean they've all been massive fails, let's be real here." She laughed, and I laughed with her. She bit her lower lip slightly as she thought, before looking up thoughtfully as she came up with her answer. "Probably back in my Senior year of schooling, there was this really sweet Dhampir guy called Horatio." She smiled fondly at his memory, and I heard Christian snigger at the name. "He was always very kind to me, giving me a lot of compliments about my hair or my outfit. I assumed that meant he had a crush on me."

"So, I decided to ask him out as my date to prom-"

"Oh no." Lissa covered her hand with her mouth in shock, suspecting the direction the story was going to take.

"And he flat out rejected me." Despite the sadness of the story, she was still smiling and even slightly laughing to herself. "Turns out he was gay, and just wildly into women's fashion - that's why he would always pay me compliments."

"No way!" Eddie gripped the arm of his chair and stared at the Guardian in disbelief. "What mixed signals, jeeze."

"How embarrassing!" Serena interjected, and Alicia nodded.

"Oh, completely embarrassing. I had this 6-foot muscle man with blue eyes and blond hair patting my head condescendingly as he apologised for getting my hopes up." She shook her head and laughed. "Since that incident, I am very cautious on approaching anybody romantically."

The game continued like that until gone two in the morning, when everyone had started to finally feel tired from all the travelling. Serena had been knocked out of the game early on after refusing to answer my question of "What's the most surprising thing that's turned you on?". Everyone else had surprisingly lasted the entire night, even Lissa having answered some particularly risque question I never thought she would have answered to.

At some point during the evening, Dimitri and I had somehow molded together almost to be one person as I sunk back against him. I nuzzled my face into his neck with my eyes blissfully closed, and he had his arms wrapped tightly around my waist as he occasionally muttered soft words of love into my ear. We'd decided on just a few more questions before everyone fully fell asleep, especially since Alicia was already struggling to stay awake.

"Princess Dragomir," Adrian smirked, it being his turn to ask a question - he chose Lissa as his victim. "Of the people in this room, who would you most want to switch lives with, and why?"

"Oh that's easy." She countered in an almost offended tone of voice. "Rose."

I furrowed my brows from where my face was buried in Dimitri's neck, before shifting to sit up straighter and turn towards her. She was sat opposite us with her legs crossed, peering curiously at where we were sat. "Go on." I motioned, curious to hear what she had to say.

"Well, everything just seems to be falling into place for you." She said matter-of-factly, though there didn't seem to be any malicious intentions behind her words. "You've got a man who adores you, great friends, your father's a rich entrepreneur who will buy you anything and your mother is one of our world's most decorated Guardians. Your parents are alive, and together. I envy that..." She shrugged softly. "What more could you want in life?"

I could feel Dimitri's arms tensing around me as I stared at her in utter shock, and the entire atmosphere in the room shifting with her words. "What more could I want in life?" I could barely raise my voice above quiet speaking I was so in awe of what she'd said. "Did you seriously just utter those words? You more than anyone, Liss, realise that I've been through hell and high water in my life - and you make it sound so perfect!"

"I didn't mean it in that way-" she started, sounding genuine in her words as she sat forwards in a pleading gesture. "I just meant that, now that we're returning to St Vladimir's, you don't really have anything to worry about. Besides from Graduation, of course, it's like you've got a happy little family."

"I don't think you quite realise just how many worries I do have, Liss." I extracted myself from Dimitri's arms to stand up, watching her eyes follow me with a confused expression. "When we're back at St Vlad's I have to worry about keeping my relationship with Dimitri a secret - yes, I'm used to that by now, but it doesn't mean I'm happy with it! And if somebody does find out about us, I have to worry about the consequences we may face. Dimitri could lose his title of a Guardian, and I may never get to be a Guardian."

"Rose I-"

I raised a hand furiously to silence her. "Let me talk for once, Lissa." She swallowed harshly and shrunk back in her seat, and I felt Dimitri shifting behind me to stay close in case I flipped out. "You cannot even begin to comprehend the worries a Dhampir pre-Graduation has to worry about. I have to worry about passing my grading fights, about getting a good allocation. I have to worry about fighting Strigoi - remember those? The Vampires I may die to even before my nineteenth birthday? Yes, Princess, because I have to worry every single day of my existence about whether I'm going to live to see the next dawn."

I was shouting now, utterly furious with her ignorant comments. "So how dare you say you envy me, just because my parents are alive. Up until four months ago, my mother didn't even care about me, and I didn't even know who my father was. I spent almost sixteen years of my life ALONE, Lissa, without a God-damned parent to care for me." I balled my fists at my side as I tried to contain my anger, though to no avail. "I'm sorry I have a man to love me. I'm sorry my parents decided they want to actually care for their only daughter, eighteen years too late. But don't you ever say that you would want to switch lives with me, because I would never wish the shit I've gone through upon anyone."

I brushed my hair behind my ears to distract my hands as I ran straight through the collection of sofas towards the hotel door, not bothering to look behind at everybody's reactions. Despite the anger and frustration I felt inside as I barreled down the hallway and down the stairs to our floor, I was immediately hit with guilt and regret.

In hindsight, I realise Lissa didn't mean anything purposefully horrible when she said what she said - sometimes she was so oblivious to her own ignorance it wasn't even funny. But something just... blew up inside of me, and I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Lissa was my best friend, but I guess after thirteen years of self-centred friendship there was a point where things just reached a limit. She was still my best friend, and I loved her - I just needed a break.

I buried my hands in my pockets as I rummaged for my room key, coming up empty. "Fuck." I cursed under my breath as I brought my hands to my face. I sighed heavily and pressed my back against the door, sliding downwards to sit on the floor.

No way was I going back up there just to get the room key from Dimitri - wouldn't that just make me look like a fool? I didn't know if Mom or Baba were awake, and didn't want to disturb them just in case they weren't. So with my legs brought up to my chest and my chin resting on my knees, I waited like an idiot for my Russian God to come and find me.

I'd barely counted to thirty when I heard the quiet footsteps coming from the direction I'd just arrived from, and I sat up straight to see Dimitri heading straight towards me. He had an unreadable expression on his face, but I could tell he wanted to say something. "Don't," I waved my hand immediately before he could open his mouth, pulling myself to my feet. "I know I blew up back there and I know I'm an idiot."

"I wouldn't say you're an idiot, Roza." He murmured quietly to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and planting a soft kiss to my forehead. "Come on, let's get inside and we can talk about it."

By three in the morning we were both in our pyjamas and wrapped in the warmth of the duvet on the large queen-sized bed. Dimitri encircled me in the safe embrace of his arms, and I nuzzled my head into his chest as I clung protectively to him. "Sorry for freaking out back there."

"Nothing to apologise for, Lyubov Moya." He whispered soothingly into my hair as he comfortingly rubbed my back with his hand. "I understand why you reacted the way you did - I don't think anybody blames you for that."

"Lissa probably does." I argued.

"Lissa was confused at first," he admitted, and I shifted slightly to look up at him. "She didn't really understand why you reacted like that, especially since she said she meant no ill intentions in her words. I think Serena suggested I go look for you while she spoke to Lissa, so maybe she has a better understanding of the situation now."

I pursed my lips as I rolled onto my back, looking up at the ceiling blankly. "Do you think I should check in with her?"

I felt Dimitri shrug. "It's up to you, Roza. Maybe if you can get a general feeling of how she's feeling, facing her tomorrow may be better."

With a sigh, I mentally agreed with him. Of course I'd see her when we woke up, and I'd want to apologise - but if she was going to avoid me, or was upset with me, then I didn't want to worsen the situation. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, digging slightly to slip into Lissa's mind.

"You didn't mean to upset her." Christian wrapped his arms around Lissa as they sat in the middle of their bed, kissing the top of her hair in a comforting gesture. "She's Rose, she'll see that once she's blown off enough steam."

Lissa shook her head and sniffled back some tears. "I've never seen her so angry. She was completely fine, and then all of a sudden she just... snapped! And it's all my fault." She was about to burst into tears again, and Christian could sense that, so he silenced her with a gentle kiss.

When they pulled away, Christian cupped the side of her face and looked lovingly into her eyes. "She loves you, Liss, you know that. You know how Rose gets - she's a bundle of energy and emotions. Sometimes we all get whiplash from her change in emotions." He chuckled softly at his attempt in humour, and was happy to see a slight smile on her lips. "She's probably sat in her own room now with Guardian Belikov kicking herself over the fact that you're probably upset."

"Should I go apologise?" Lissa asked quietly, wiping the dampness from beneath her eyes. Christian shook his head.

"Wait until morning, maybe. Give her time to sleep it off, spend some alone time with Belikov, calm herself down a little bit - then before we leave for the Academy, talk to her then. Sound like a plan?" She sniffled slightly and nodded at his words, and he gave her a warm smile. He leaned in to kiss her forehead, holding her tightly to him. "I love you, Liss."

"I love you too, Christian."

By the time I'd dragged myself out of Lissa's head, I felt a slight dampness beneath my eyes. I wiped at them quickly before Dimitri could see, even though my man was perceptive and had probably already seen, before snuggling back to the warmth of his chest. "She's okay, she's with Christian." I explained quietly as I closed my eyes, beginning to relax into a comforting lull. "She's realised what she said could have come across as wrong and she's going to come find me in the morning to apologise."

"Sounds like a great plan, Roza." Dimitri murmured lowly into my ear, and I could hear he was getting tired. "Now why don't we get some sleep? We've got a big day ahead of us with our return to St Vladimir's."

That we do, I mentally agreed. That we do.