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CHAPTER SIX

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

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He fanned at the smoke detector as it blared, hoping in vain that the ineffectual breeze from the dog-eared copy of Highlights would actually accomplish something and shut off the racket. If there were ever a Burning Popcorn event in the Olympics, he'd win the gold. No contest. He was an expert. He could blacken an entire box of Orville Redenbacher's like nobody's business.

Not that he was actually putting the box in the microwave. That was just stupid. No, Paul's take on popcorn took sheer, raw talent. Which he clearly had in spades.

He choked on the combined smells of smoke and stale movie theater butter and finally just decided to flee out of the newly refinished kitchen and into his living room.

Bella was stretched out on his comfy, suede couch. Along with Xander, and a copy of Tooth Fairy paused at the DVD menu. Her toenails were sea green, not to be confused with the pea-green she turned every morning like clockwork. It was a sight he was never going to get sick of - the duo on the couch, not the throwing up.

"Paul, you're staring again."

"How many times do I have to tell you, Xander, you're not allowed to call me Paul? It's Dad or Sir. Maybe Your Holiness."

"Oh, you did not just say that. There's only one Holiness in this house." Bella extended the DVD case like she was asking him to swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help him God. "Kiss Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and say you're sorry, you blasphemer."

Paul dutifully kissed Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, but he was not the least bit sorry.

He grinned like a doofus at Bella - his wife, his pregnant wife - grabbed the remote control, pressed 'play', and joined his family on the couch.