AN: Hello again! So this is the sequel to Blue Pieces of a Broken Mosaic that I've been working on for far too long to be honest. I'm sorry for the massive delay, but I've simply not been able to write any faster. Anyways. Thank you so, so much for the support and for all the lovely reviews. It means more to me than you can possibly imagine. I hope you enjoy.

The City's Waking and I'm Drunk Again

The sky was dark, black almost, big clouds looming over the large graveyard. Hard raindrops hit the ground, coloring the argent gray pebbles on the gravel pathways a darker shade. The grass was hard to walk on as the ground beneath it was soaked, feet sinking into it and leaving water filled indents in their wake. It was quiet, so quiet, just the rain making itself known by pouring down onto the silent graves and their stones, rustling the leaves on the trees and bushes as they hit with full force. Nature's own symphony, a composition to lull the grieving visitors into a sense of delusive calm, a toneless melody to take their minds off of their pain. Or to enhance it. The hard drops of water a cruel reminder that after death comes rain, tauntingly pointing out that it gets worse.

Only two people were seen, others probably discouraged by the bad weather or at home, still sleeping.

Piper sat down on her knees, kneeling before her grandmother's grave, head spinning and breath catching in her throat. She stared at the words engraved on the large stone, a nice little paragraph that honestly didn't describe Celeste at all. They looked foreign, like they were picked out by a stranger, yet it had been her father's choice, a passage from the Bible that he had deemed fit. It didn't fit. Celeste was his mother and despite that, he couldn't even find a paragraph for her stone. How was her family so emotionally inept? And why did she have to inherit that trait? She had watched how her parents' relationship had crumbled, how it had grown stale by each passing year, and she was just a bystander, someone on the sidelines without any kind of influence. The fact that they played happy family like they were getting payed for it had fucked Piper up. It had fucked her up so much. In theory, she knew what a relationship was supposed to be like, but she had never been able to put it into practice. She just followed in her parents' footsteps and played a part that wasn't her, a part that lied, a part that wasn't true to her.

"Please don't sit on the ground, Miss Chapman," John said, grabbing her shoulder gently. The blonde jerked away from the touch, stubbornly staying where she was. The small movement made her head spin, making her clutch onto the grass, as if to keep herself from toppling over. She swallowed thickly, forcing down the bile that threatened to cascade from her mouth. It lay heavy in her stomach, but the nauseating feeling was ever present, making her sweat despite the chilly weather. Her eyes felt heavy, like every bit of energy was directed to her esophagus, preventing her from throwing up. It was as if she manually had to retain the contents of her stomach. She squeezed her eyes shut and opened them, blinking a few times, trying to get her body to work properly. John sighed behind her.

"At least take the umbrella," he offered, but she shook her head before he could hand it to her, breathing heavily through her nose to keep her from getting dizzy again. Piper lowered her head, facing the grass, tugging at it as if to distract herself, if only for just a few seconds. She swallowed thickly, balling her hands into fists.

"When did I become like this? Where did I go wrong?" she whispered, words directed to the person who couldn't answer, the person six feet under who was no longer a person, the person who was nothing but bones. She dragged her hand over the soaked grass, feeling the soft straws on the pads of her fingers, tickling the sensitive skin. There was a pause in her movement, body going rigid as it finally hit her that she was truly, completely, undeniably alone. The only person she felt comfortable talking to was someone who couldn't answer, someone who couldn't help her, someone who could never be by her side again. She was talking to a corpse. She felt the familiar sting in her eyes as they drowned in tears again, the uncomfortable lump in her throat and the snot making its way down to her upper lip.

"If I could just-" She cut herself off, squeezing her eyes shut and forced out tears. "If you were here I'd know what to do." If you were here, I wouldn't be alone. Her bottom lip quivered, words mumbled as to not risk her voice breaking mid sentence. The blonde needed guidance, something Celeste had always offered the times they got to spend together. It didn't happen as often as she'd wanted and more often than not, the old woman would converse with Carol and Bill rather than with her. She couldn't really blame her, though. Conversations with kids were seldom rewarding. But when Piper and Cal got her full attention, she was the best grandmother she could ever wish for. The old woman was the least poisonous person in their family, the person who time and time again proved that there was still some honesty in the world. However, when at social events and the like, Celeste also became a woman of deceit and false smiles. Like most people, in all honesty. Piper couldn't think of one person who never put up a front. It was a defense mechanism, but to some people, it was an art, something to be proud of. The blonde would never be proud of her lies, would never be proud over the fact that she became more and more like Carol by each passing day. The Piper she knew was almost gone, hidden away behind the mirror image of her mother.

"I'm so lost. It's like-" She interrupted herself, suddenly painfully aware of John's presence. He knew about her previous drug habits, but nothing more. It was for the better if it stayed that way. The other didn't need more on his plate. Piper had already been enough trouble for him, a confession regarding her sexuality would be too much. There was also the fact that she wanted to hide that part of herself, needed to hide that part. She also very much needed to forget about raven hair and green eyes that shone so fondly when they met hers. But she couldn't just throw it all away, still too in love with the other woman. The wound was still fresh, just over a week old, and she wasn't ready to let her go just yet.

She had to talk to someone.

"It's like I'm stuck in a dark room without a light switch," she began, phrasing her words vaguely in her head before speaking. "I know there's a door, but the handle is gone and it's just... It's just so hard to find it, to find the way out." She opened her eyes and let the tears fall freely, intertwining their pathways with the raindrops already staining her cheeks. The weather had reflected her mood perfectly the past week, raindrops coinciding with her crying. It was Saturday, eight days since she broke things off with the raven haired woman in the worst way imaginable and she hadn't gotten a good nights sleep since. She had even been awake the whole night before that day. Day and night were just words without meaning, the definition lost as the hours just melded together. Why was she so pathetic? She had no real reason to drink her life away and yet she'd been drinking for a week straight. There were people with worse problems than hers who managed just fine without drugs or alcohol. She was just weak. So weak.

"I'm stuck in the darkness and I want to get out, but I feel like I don't deserve the light," she sobbed, eyebrows knitted together tightly. There was a thunderstorm in her chest, lightning pulsing through her limbs, making them shake, and the loud rumble vibrating in her eardrums. Piper put a hand over her mouth, sniveling loudly as she tried to regain control over her voice. She wondered if Alex was in as bad shape as she was. What if the other had broken down completely, more so than her. Piper would never forgive herself if that was the case. She removed her hand from her mouth, grasping at the wet grass again, desperately, feeling the dirt press under her nails.

"There is light outside the room. So bright and so beautiful." It was nothing more than a slurred whisper, almost as if she would be punished further if she even spoke about the other woman. She didn't even deserve to think about her, but her brain betrayed her by replaying their last meeting on a loop and slowed down the pace when Alex's heart shattered. Piper saw that same scene every time she closed her eyes, mind rewinding the tape when she opened them. She had to witness the other woman's heartbreak again and again and again. And each time, a piece of her soul died. It was selfish of her to want Alex back, but she couldn't help it, couldn't help but wonder how she could possibly apologize. But she couldn't do that to her, couldn't risk hurting her again.

"I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to let my darkness cast shadows over it." She let out another sob, wiping away the snot underneath her nose with the back of her hand. More tears ran down her face, paving their way down to her neck. Her pulse was throbbing in her ears, a continuous thumping that never seemed to slow down. Piper swallowed forcefully, keeping herself from puking. She felt so sick, so nauseous, dying almost, like her insides were so broken that they had stopped working all together. The thought didn't scare her. Quite the contrary. If Death itself came to her she would open her arms and embrace it, greet it like she had waited for years. She had, in one way or the other. Just not as actively as she had during the last week.

"I wish I could end it," she said weakly, swallowing around a big lump in her throat. "I wish I could disappear." The last sentence was almost lost between snivels, Piper's voice distorted by her tightening vocal cords. Her throat seemed to clench around the words, making everything incoherent. The blonde's body had started shaking, lungs seemingly collapsing in on themselves. They imploded in her chest, squeezing out the little air she had in them. It was an agonizing feeling that never stopped. She had to live with demolished lungs, a shattered heart and a brain that sent out impulses to her body to do it all over again. Even when she wasn't actively thinking about Alex, her body made sure to punish her for what she had done by sending electric impulses to every organ and every limb, rendering her immobile for long periods of time.

"I want it back. I want it all back. I need-" Her. I need her.

John put a hand on her shoulder again, umbrella shielding her shaking body from the unforgiving rain. Piper didn't do anything to shy away, too tired to do anything but accept the help she was given. He was a good man who expected nothing in return for his kindness, a man who was, in every aspect of the word, a hero. The other spoke softly, as if to not startle Piper, but she couldn't hear him over the hard patter on the stretched out polyester above her. She turned her gaze up to his kind brown eyes, bloodshot blue drowning in salty tears. John grabbed her upper arm, helping her up on her feet again. The blonde was unsteady, holding onto the man's arm as not to fall. She held his bicep in a vice like grip, blinking a few times to clear her vision. It didn't work. Her eyes were like bad camera lenses, going in and out of focus and duplicating the objects before her. She could make out some things. Trees and bushes were easy to identify with their green leaves. The gravestones framed the gravel pathways like colonnades, making the area look like a labyrinth. It was an intimidating sight.

"Let's get you home," the man said, sounding tired. Piper wasn't sure if she was supposed to have heard those words, but she had and she couldn't help the tinge of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She was annoying, of course she was. Who else but John would have the patience to look after her? Her eyes welled up with tears again. Or had they even dried? She wasn't sure.

"I'm so sorry, John. I'm so sorry," she slurred, clinging to said man's arm, breath hitching as she continued with the apologizes. He tried to hush her, saying soft, reassuring words, comforting words that made Piper feel even more guilty. She used John's kindness for her own selfish reasons. She was the reason behind her own tears and she should stop feeling so damn sorry for herself. He was probably sick of having to comfort her all the time, sick of having to babysit her and make sure that she didn't drink herself to death. He was probably sick of her. Period.

The two of them made their way to the car waiting in the parking lot, Piper sobbing into John's shoulder and shaking like she had just gone through the ice of a frozen lake. She held onto the mans arm tightly, gripping it with both hands to steady herself. Her feet wouldn't cooperate properly with her brain, making her lose her footing from time to time. The other managed to walk them both to the car, all the while keeping Piper from falling, as well as keeping them both dry. Or, well... keeping himself dry and keeping the blonde from getting wetter. She crawled into the backseat and all but collapsed against the stiff leather seat, closing her eyes. The blonde faintly registered that John helped her with the seat belt before he closed the door. It was a good idea. It kept her from swaying where she sat. There was another slam, a door closing, that made Piper open her eyes abruptly. She met John's eyes in the rear view mirror.

"You need to talk to Larry," he said sternly, worry evident in both his eyes and voice. The blonde swallowed nervously and averted her eyes, looking to where the landscape passed by outside. They were moving. She hadn't notice the car starting. She didn't even think that she'd had her eyes closed for such a long time. They were at least five minutes from the graveyard already. Piper's ability to react was apparently much slower than she'd thought.

"Piper. He is suffering too." The words were like razors, sharp and they cut her wide open. She closed her eyes again, feeling the salty tears form behind her eyelids, again.

"I will," she whispered, heart beating hard in her chest. "I will."