The doors to the emergency care ward slid closed as Ezra watched the gurney disappear from sight. JD looked so pale, almost as white as the sheet draped over him. He was fairly certain he'd heard the doctor, or maybe it was the paramedic, saying something about the breathing being good. That was a hopeful sign. Still, the young agent had been unconscious for so long. And was so damned pale.

Ezra stared down at his hands and the alarming amount of blood there. And on his clothing. The edges on some of the stains were starting to dry just a little. When he curled his hands to fists he could see the blood crack at his knuckles. God, there was just so much of it. He remembered holding JD, and trying to pull him from the line of fire when hell broke loose. He'd done what he could to check his injuries. That must have been when he got soaked.

He remembered calling out ATF and 'agent down' over and over as the local cops closed in on the scene. It must have worked. They weren't arrested, and an ambulance arrived quickly. The paramedics moved him aside and took over. He remembered the relief he felt seeing Sergeant Banner at the scene – maybe that was why no one had challenged him. Banner knew Larabee's team from previous times when their paths had crossed.

Ezra knew he would have to remember to thank the sergeant for getting him to the hospital. They'd driven off while JD was being loaded onto the gurney, and escorted the ambulance. Banner had promised to contact the rest of the team when he dropped Ezra off.

The team. Oh, dear God. Chris was going to be pissed at him. They all would. How could he have let JD get so badly hurt? It shouldn't have happened. They weren't even at the scheduled meet with the suspects. This was supposed to be nothing more than advance scouting. He and JD were scoping out the area for much later in the day. The gun buy wasn't set until nightfall when they would finally bring down the scum dealing in stolen surplus military weapons. How had it all gone so wrong?

They'd been there only a few minutes when Ezra thought he heard something. "You're just anxious" JD had assured him. "Can't wait to be done with this. Buck told me you had weekend plans – flying down to New Orleans. Got a big date planned?"

"Card game. Invitation only, and quite a privleg-". He had stopped himself, certain this time there had been a noise. JD was looking at him when Ezra saw the movement from above. He leapt forward, slamming himself into the younger man as the shooting started. The momentum drove both toward storage crates in the back alley. As he dragged JD to deeper cover he started to reach for his weapon even as he registered there was no clear shot to take. He was too far back to be able to take out the sniper.

How could he have been so stupid? Why had he not foreseen the possibility – probability – of a sentry? The only likely reason they were still alive was the fortunate arrival of the local cops. Certainly his own actions hadn't saved them. Yes, Chris would be pissed. Josiah, Vin, Nathan – they'd all be disappointed in him. Again. And Buck? Well he was going to be homicidal. No other word for it. And if – dear God forbid – JD didn't survive, none of them would ever forgive him. Nor should they. Still, it wouldn't be a long life of guilty suffering. Buck would follow through on the homicidal feelings in an instant.

He had no idea how long he'd been staring at the doors when his thoughts were interrupted by a young woman in scrubs.

"You'll have to come with me Agent. I'm sorry, I didn't get your name from the officer who dropped you off."

"Standish." He answered without taking his eyes from the door.

"Agent Standish, I have some paperwork here. For your friend. Do you think you can fill these out for me?" She guided him over to a chair in the waiting area.

She's good. the distraught man thought. Distract the stricken relative or friend. Keep them busy to avoid having them slip into shock, or hysteria. Or guilt. Too late for that one. He would have to fight to avoid the other emotions.

"Why don't you take a look at them and see how much you can answer for us. I'll get you a cloth and towel so you can clean up some. See if I can find something for you to change into."

He stared down at the standard bureaucratic red tape she'd left for him. Name, address, phone. Basic stuff. Medical history? He figured he could cover the basics there too. No allergies, no medications. They'd all been down this road enough to know each other too well.

Next of kin? Easy. Buck Wilmington. Maybe nothing legal there, but the role was undeniable. Big brother. Protector. Avenger. Like Chris and Vin – a perfect team. Even Nathan and Josiah were matched up, in large part because of the amount of time they spent at the same community outreach programs. It crossed his mind fleetingly that he had no next of kin he would fill in on his own paperwork.

He wasn't fully aware of the nurse taking the form and leaving him with a towel, bottle of water and a set of scrubs. They all sat untouched on the chair beside him. "I'll be back when I have news. Drink your water." He just nodded mutely.

The stampede that entered the room a few minutes later stopped short when they saw him sitting perfectly still, covered in JD's blood. Again, stupid. He should have changed. They didn't need to see this mess. Why was his brain simply not functioning?

"What happened?" "What did the doctor say?" Vin and Chris asked simultaneously.

"No word yet. He's being examined. The nurse said she'd let me know." He raised his eyes to meet them, unable to find the strength to stand. "I don't know what happened. We were blindsided."

"You walked him into a trap? What the fuck were you thinking Standish? What the hell is the matter with you?"

"I'm sorry Bu- Mr. Wilming-"

"Save it. I don't give a rat's ass about sorry. You were supposed to have his back. That's what partners are supposed to do. The kid doesn't go undercover, but he wanted to do this. You said you could watch him. Take care of him." Each sentence brought him a step closer to Ezra, and he reached out to grab the blood stained lapel, pulling him to his feet. "Hell of a job you did."

Chris pulled his hand away. "Back off Buck. This ain't helping. Nathan, go see what you can find out. You know these people – get them to talk to you."

Ezra dropped back into chair, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. He had no answer to give. Buck turned away and Chris took a deep breath. Crisis averted – for the moment. "Vin, go talk to Banner. See what you can find out, including how the hell the locals got there so fast." At the hesitation he spun the man and pushed him toward the door. "Go. I'll let you know as soon as we get word."

Josiah moved to join Buck, hoping to calm him some. Chris pointed at the items on the chair beside Ezra. "We're gonna need your clothes for evidence. Get changed." They likely wouldn't really need anything, but getting him out of that mess would be easier on all of them. Ezra sat, unmoving, and Chris merely sighed and went to join the other members of the team on the far side of the waiting room. He watched as the hands moved slowly on the clock. Talk faded into simple words – "coffee?", water?", "what the hell is taking so long?". Ezra remained quiet and still.

Buck made the move to stand at one point, aiming himself toward Ezra. Josiah held him back. "Not going to do anybody any good right now. Leave him be till we have answers. Don't do something that will end up getting you kicked out of here – or worse." Another 20 minutes passed and Buck was ready to make another move when the access door slid open. The tired smile on Nathan's face allowed everyone to relax.

"How's he?" "What happened?" "Can we see him?" Nathan looked puzzled by the barrage.

"Didn't the nurse come out?"

"Nobody told us anything. We've been here two hours so tell us – how bad is he hurt?"

"He's fine Buck. They're gonna keep him overnight for observation, but he's fine. Cracked his head when he hit the ground, luckily just a mild concussion. Busted his arm, but it's a clean break. It was the shock and pain that had him out of it."

"That took over two hours to figure out?"

"No, there was a bus crash. Chaos back there. I was trying to give them a bit of help. Sent someone out to update you all, but I guess it got lost in the shuffle. Sorry guys."

Buck felt the anger draining from him. No, not the anger. The terror. Terror he had taken out on Standish without knowing any of the details. He should have been mad at the bastards who did the shooting. He could process that thought now. But they weren't there, and Ezra was. He looked over at the man who still remained in place. Staring and unmoving. He knew there was something wrong with the image, but couldn't put his finger on it. He turned back to Nathan.

"Broken arm and concussion?"

"I swear to you Buck, he's fine. They should have him settled in a room by now."

It was coming together for him. "Head wound bleed bad then?"

"No. Didn't even need stitches." The light bulb went on for all four men at the same instant. Chris was first to Ezra's side as Josiah headed off for help.

"Ezra, look at me." He raised his head slowly in meek compliance. Some blood from his hands at transferred to his face and stood in stark contrast to the pallor. "Ezra – where are you hurt?"

"I'm fine Chris. It was JD. Focus on JD. He's unconscious. He's hurt."

"He's awake Ezra. He's got a concussion and hurt his arm. He's not bleeding, so that means you are. Where does it hurt Ezra?"

"No – I'm fine."

Chris was trying to see a wound, but nothing was evident. Nathan had a better angle on things and grabbed the now dry towel from the chair. He reached out and undid the remaining few inches of the zippered leather jacket. When it fell open they could see the shirt below soaked in blood.

"Shit!" Ezra tried to pull back when Nathan spoke, but Chris held him in place. "What are you doing? Leave me. It's JD who needs you." Sure, he was tired and cold, but that was nothing. They needed to focus on JD. The look of fear and worry on Buck's face confirmed to him just how badly hurt the young man must be. "I am so sorry," he pleaded, staring up at Buck. He felt Nathan press against his lower back and blacked out before hearing Buck's reply.

Ezra slumped forward, almost knocking Chris off his feet in the process. They began to lower him to the floor just as Josiah returned virtually dragging an intern behind him. "Look, you'll have to process your friend through triage and he'll be –". He stopped short when he saw the unconscious form covered in blood. Josiah scooped Ezra into the wheelchair that Buck had located and they all watched Nathan and the medical staff run down the hall. It had taken less than a minute. The last sound they heard was the call for a path to be cleared to the emergency OR.

Chris looked as his now bloodied hands and shirt, then glanced down at the clothes that had been left for Ezra. Why hadn't he insisted on having him change? They would have known about this two hours ago. He wouldn't have been just sitting there, slowly bleeding to death. No, not to death. That wasn't happening. They couldn't get JD back just to lose Ezra.

"What have I done?" Chris was surprised to realize those weren't his words. He turned to see Buck on the verge of collapsing. He was staring down the hall where Ezra had disappeared, unknowingly mimicking the man's own actions from a couple hours earlier. "I never even thought to ask him if he was ok. I just yelled at him. What the hell have I done?"

"Wasn't just you, Buck. We all did it. We assumed the worst, like we always do. We were focused on what we knew was wrong – JD."

"But how did we not see this?" Josiah asked.

"Cause it was Ezra. He wouldn't say anything about having an arm cut off if one of us got a paper cut at the same time."

"I just yelled at him." Buck still stared. "The last thing I said to him –"

"NO!" Chris cut him off. "Not the last thing. He's gonna be fine."

"Really? Did you see him? Look at the chair. Look at the blood."

Josiah tried to calm the mood. "He's strong Buck. Don't even think about giving up on him."

They had barely made it back to their seats when Vin charged into the room.

"How are they?"

"They? How did you know Ezra was hurt?" Josiah asked.

"Saw the video – how is he? How are they?"

"Video?" Chris was officially confused. "How the hell is there video of this?"

"I swear to you I will draw my gun and shoot the next man who asks a question instead of answering one. HOW ARE THEY?"

"JD's getting settled in his room. They want to observe him overnight. They're working on Ezra."

"Still?"

"Just started." Chris said softly.

"What the hell to you mean they just started? He was shot – what took so long? And why was he just sitting in the waiting room when we got here?"

"We didn't know he'd been hurt. No one did. Just figured it out a few minutes ago. Where did you see this video?"

Vin explained what Banner had filled him in on. The local cops had heard rumors of a deal going down. They assumed drugs, and had set up a stake out of their own. The surveillance cameras had recorded every minute of the nightmare.

"Banner thought you'd want it for our records, so he downloaded a copy. Nice to deal with a cop who cares more about the job than the bureaucrats." Vin poked at the screen of his tablet for minute, cursing quietly when he got jammed up, then finally turning it for the others to see. There was no sound, and the picture was grainy, but the unfolding scene was more than clear enough. They watched Ezra and JD stroll to the open end of the alley, then stop to talk. It was obvious Ezra was reacting to something and a moment later they saw him grab his partner, throwing him to the ground.

"Must be when he got hurt. Looks like a hard throw."

"Reflexes and adrenaline. He kept the kid alive." Buck was mentally kicking himself again.

An instant later Ezra dropped as well, covering JD with his body. "That when he was hit?" Chris asked. Vin shook his head. "Wait for it." He averted his eyes. He'd seen this once, and was in no hurry for a replay.

They could see Ezra shift himself, making sure the younger man was fully protected. In doing so, his jacket rode up, exposing his back. A few seconds later they saw his body jump slightly. Red began to spread on his lower back. He pushed himself up and grabbed the collar of JD's jacket, pulling him behind cover and out of sight. His head came out briefly, scanning for the shooter. A few minutes later the area was flooded with uniformed cops, and the video ended.

"They get the bastard?" Chris asked after a few moments of silence to absorb what they had watched.

"Yeah – he won't be asking for his lawyer. Idiot tried to shoot his way out."

"It didn't look like Ezra even knew he was hurt. He sure didn't act like he was."

"Shock." Nathan spoke the single word as he returned. "Looks like the bullet missed any vital organs. Swelling put some pressure on the lower spine. Not enough to cause problems, but enough to deaden the pain. They're getting him ready for surgery." No one dared to ask the question. "He lost a lot of blood. They need to stabilize his pressure and heart rhythm."

No one spoke. No one knew what to say. Chris sighed deeply and broke the silence. "Can we see JD yet?"

"That's the other reason I came out. He's in room 407. I told the surgical desk that's where we'd be. They'll send someone up when there's more news." The men gathered themselves and started toward the elevator. Vin turned back when he realized Buck wasn't with them.

"Thought you'd be the first through the door there Pard."

"He's got to make it Vin. He's got to."

He had no idea why Buck was so much more distressed than the others, but knew there had to be a good reason.

"You don't think he's gonna let something simple like this keep him down, do you?"

"We didn't even ask him if he was ok! I yelled at him Vin. Told him he was too selfish to take care of his partner." Vin's heart sank.

"He knows you didn't mean any of that Buck. He gets that you were scared."

"No, I don't think so. He looked like I was just saying what he already thought. Even when we figured he was hurt, he just kept telling us to take care of JD. He was apologizing to me when he passed out." Buck stopped trying to fight the tears.

"Come on Buck. Let's go see to JD. He's gonna be upset. He'll need you there – and he'll need you to be strong. I know you're scared, but he needs you."

"So did Ezra, and I fucked that up."

"So don't fuck this one up."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

tbc