Adrien POV

I find myself composing a letter I never thought I would have to write. Writing this is better than not doing anything. It shall portray what I could never say…

On the Eiffel tower, after fighting an akuma. Ladybug asked me what was wrong. I felt a tiny bit of happiness because I knew she cared, she understood me, better than a lot of people. Yet…I can do not have the courage to do this anymore. I gave her a slight smile. Her eyes slightly widened for a reason unknown to me, her gaze unfaltering. We went for our customary fist bump , also my last one I realized.

I took in her appearance, her scent, her expressions, for one last time. But I couldn't stop myself from being reckless. I pulled her close and closed the distance between our lips. She was shocked, not moving until I finally pulled away, but not before I whispered in her ear.

"I'm sorry, Ladybug. I'm so, so sorry."

Her body finally showed some movement as her hand caressed my face ever so gently, her kind bluebell eyes, meeting my emerald green.

"What happened, Chaton?" She whispered breaking the silence the air. Not even the wind blowed on that pathetic day, the air still and tense. I handed the papers to her and ran...ran until I reached the tip of the Eiffel Tower.

"Farewell, buginette, …farewell"

I let a sad smile grace my features as I looked at m'lady for the very last time. Then

.

.

.

I let myself fall into the endless pit. I could not hear anything, except the air hitting on my ears, and a shouting Ladybug on the top of the tower. Even she cannot save me now. And I was falling...falling into this empty place I don't even know why I'd ever wanted to go to.

Marinette POV

Something had been off about Chat in that fight, the way he fought, his expressionless face , his serious, to the point speech, it was very unlike him.I asked him about it and as a response he gave a slight smile,it was beautiful, and so sincere yet a lingering sadness that drooped it slightly. I was surprised to see Chat smile like that ,I knew something was wrong. We had our fist bump, barely whispering 'pound it' as we continue to look at each other, he kept gazing at me and then suddenly he pulled me close and kissed me I was frozen in shock and did not come to my senses as Chat pulled away, whispering in my ear.

"I'm sorry Ladybug. I'm so…sorry"

I finally realized my surroundings and I was confused at Chat's actions . I could not help but caress his face as I looked into his eyes that shone a beautiful shade of green, one I'd come to love...

"What happened Chaton?" I asked him. I wanted to help in anyway possible, he was my partner and it was my duty to look out for him.

Then suddenly he handed to me, a pile of papers and ran, I was left there, wondering what the pile was, as I stared at Chat who was now nearing the tip of the Eiffel Tower.

And with a smile

.

.

.

He jumped.

My body moved on its own running at full speed towards him. Tears flowed like a stream on my face as they finally turned into drops, falling on the metal surface. I could see that even with my yoyo, there was no way to save him. I shouted his name out loud and dropped to my knees. The tears flowed freely as I succumbed to the sadness and sudden emptiness and broke down. The loss was too much ,and it's reason unknown. I cried for hours, after which I finally noticed the pile of papers still in my hands,maybe his last message. I wiped my tears away,not stopping the ones that still fell. I glanced at the papers, at the back it was clearly written that the papers are only to be first read at his funeral.

The last word made me cry more. It made me fully realize the weight of what had occured. And it made me want to repeat his actions, but I knew that I could not. Paris needed at least one of it's heroes. There must've been a reason for his actions ,may be something he could not shared with me, something that could cause a person like Chat who is so happy and cheerful, to do such a thing, was unexpected and surprising. I knew the reasons were within my reach, that I could grab them at any moment, but I couldn't at the same time. If I could obey his last wish just by keeping my curiosity at bay, I would do it in a heartbeat...

(Time skip)

Today was the day when the clouds were grey and dark, yet rain did not present itself, when the atmosphere was depressing and...empty. Many people were there. Half of Paris had come to say farewell to their hero.

The Mayor, and many important people had come, including Gabriel Agreste. Alya live-streamed the event, her eyes were red from crying, Chat was a person that everyone could connect with. Chat. My bad little kitten who left me here...alone. Why did this have to happen? I had the answers in this paper in my hands, I hadn't read it, but I will have to, shortly. Until then, I was stay neutral and handle everyone, it was my duty.

Time passed and after everyone's speeches it was my turn...I made my way to the podium, clutching the paper in my hand for life. My mind wandered to Chat's family who probably didn't know that their son committed suicide. Those poor people, they will be so broken, for sure...am I any different? At this point, I don't know anymore.

"I, Ladybug am here today for the same reason that all of you have gathered here for. Before...it had happened, Chat had given a paper, a letter that is to be read today, I haven't read it beforehand... " I opened the paper and was met by very familiar handwriting...I wanted to go to a corner and cry my eyes out. No! It couldn't-it couldn't possibly be him. The tears spilled out of my eyes, in front of everyone. Most people were shocked, Alya comforted me "Do you want me to read it in your place?" She whispered, reaching for my hands . "No" I answered, wiping my tears. "I will do it...myself"I said, trying to convince myself. Alya gave me comforting smile, and squeezed my hand slightly. "He is...Adrien Agreste." I barely whispered, staring at her, as her eyes widened, her eyes staring right into mine, searching for confirmation that it was indeed true. I sadly nodded as I started to read the letter.

"I am Adrien Agreste..." A lot of gasps and whispers broke through the crowd. 's eyes widened as he started to speak to Natalie. I could see Nino tearing up, but I kept reading, trying to stop my own tears. "I am broken teenage model during the day and a leather cat jumping on rooftops by night. You might have thought that I have a perfect life and I couldn't possibly explain to you how wrong you are. I am not going to be the 'perfect boy' and 'the perfect son of Gabriel Agreste' anymore. I'll not go through the daily torture from now on. The regrets are many, I know my life could have turned out better. I wish to make it clear that this was my decision alone, nobody pressurized me, or influenced me to do this. The reasons are many, and there is no need to mention them here. Those who will know this, shall never reveal them. It is rare for me to trust anyone, but there are couple of people in trust with my life. So, Nino, Alya and Marinette, please move on…for me." He cared for us till the end …if you cared then why did you leave? Will I never know? These thoughts haunted me...but I kept reciting the lines to the crowd which was absolutely silent.

"I want to thank a few people, my friends and classmates, Natalie and Ladybug. These are the only people who are the only reason that have kept me sane, for so long.

Thank you…words cannot describe how much I owe you all. "

It ended with a beautifully written "— Your Chat Noir, Adrien Agreste"

I managed to regain my composure and stagger off the podium area. I had to comfort them first, I could comfort myself later. I went to Alya and Nino to find them comforting each other, they were in a separate room. I sat beside them, I put my hand on Alya's back to comfort her.

"It'll be okay, Alya-"

"No, you might know Chat Noir, but you don't know him like we do!" She screamed as her tears landed on the floor.

I knew she didn't mean to scream, but I knew she was right.

"You're right, Alya, I was always the one to push him away, I never had the courage, I wasn't brave enough, and now...now I'm useless I can't change what I have done, and I can never truly know him, both sides of him. " I admitted, as my voice quivered.

"You knew Adrien in real life, didn't you?" Asked Nino, his voice lower than normal.

I didn't trust my voice anymore, so I simply nodded.

After all this, they had to know, the later Alya found out, the worse it will be.

I dropped my transformation, and they stared at me in shock. They were astonished...and they had every reason to be.

"Marinette..."

This is it for this chapter. I don't usually write angst and this idea just popped in my head and I thought I should write it. I hope that this wasn't too bad. How cruel of me to do this to the little bundle of sunshine! (Sniff) I'll go punish myself for this. (Stumbles away)