Hey all, just a quick post to say that, after this chapter, this story is going to be put on hold for a while as I need to go through the previous chapters and do some serious reworking of them. I also need to do some serious thinking on this story as I am still unsure on whether to continue with it. I am enjoying this story and still believe in it, but I wonder how many people out there actually believe in it. Please let me know on your thoughts on whether I should continue or not.

Review responses;

Guest Palacegirl – I'm glad you loved them and you'll have to find out soon. . .I hope you'll find out soon at least. I already know your thoughts on this story, but as I mentioned about, I am unsure on what to do.

DawnScarlet19610 (for chapter 1) – I am sorry you are struggling with the ideas of this story, and I can answer some of your points;

I'm not too sure what you mean by language of Middle Earth. I've not read the books that much, so I can't go with anything from that, so I do my best with what I can, I'm sorry if that offends you.

As for Legolas' mother, it's never mentioned anything about her. Name, whether she's actually from Mirkwood/Greenwood herself, or what happened to her. The only indication you get is when Legolas mentions in the movie that she died in Gundabad, which is where I got that from as I had nothing to go on, and believe me, I have done a ton of research on it, so if you can find anything about that please let me know. I know that Elrond's wife sailed to the Undying Lands because she was attacked by orcs, so unless you're getting the two mixed up. Again, if you know anything, let me know.

You may not like the idea of the stunted growth, but it was an idea I had to make it a little different, so I went with it.

With the elves and childbearing, again, I didn't really see anything saying that elves actually have problems with having children, except that they believe it puts a huge strain on them, with how intune they are with their emotional being and such and that is why there are so few children. Nor does it say that they shouldn't have children soon after marriage. Also, Legolas was ten when Caladwen was born, not five.

Again, after doing research, I had found that elven children can do all that before their first birthday, so that's where I got that from.

I did mention that Legolas' mother went to visit friends, and I did it at nine months because I didn't want it to be too soon or too late into the pregnancy, and from what I read up, they have approx. 12 months gestation period, I thought she'd still be able to ride, just like we humans now can go on planes until our 36 week of pregnancy, sometimes 28, and to say we are 40 weeks at full term, I reckoned three months is good enough to our four weeks.

Thranduil would have been in too much shock to react so badly to what had happened and why not with Gandalf? If he's the one that found out about it, why not he go and reveal the news to him?

As for the names Faelwen and Caladwen, I was looking up names and such for the two, came across these and liked them, so that's why I have those names.

I already know the previous chapters are so bad, and I have already planned to go back and do a serious overhaul on them, which is why I am going to be putting this on hold, again, and going back to redo them. The chapters are better as they go on, in my opinion, a lot better than the first maybe ten or so, so I'm hoping I can make them just as good.

Thank you for your review and pointing some things out to me, I have taken your points in and will think of them on my editing.

Chapter 36

A few days pass with no luck of finding the Arkenstone – which I know is obviously going to be the case since Bilbo has it. I am currently in the Throne Room with Thorin, Bilbo, Balin and Dwalin, after Thorin gathers the five of us together. Thorin is gazing upon the throne, where the Arkenstone had been once inlaid before it was lost, two huge claw marks scratched into the stone, taking out a big chunk of it. I am standing to the right of the throne, Bilbo to the left as Balin and Dwalin are behind Thorin, standing just before the steps to the dais.

"It is here in these halls. . .I know it." Thorin says, a lilt of longing in his voice.

"We have searched and searched. . ." Dwalin tries to reason.

"Not well enough!"

"Thorin, we all would see the stone returned."

"And yet, it is still not FOUND!"

I wince as he exclaims found, his voice echoing loudly around the halls of the throne room.

"Do you doubt the loyalty of anyone here?" Balin asks, causing me to eye him, then Bilbo before looking to Thorin.

Thorin turns and slowly walks toward Balin and Dwalin.

"The Arkenstone is the birthright of our people."

"It is the King's Jewel. AM I NOT THE KING?!"

I wince once again as he shouts, never having heard him shout like this before. Well. . .other than when we were in the throne hall of Mirkwood, but not with this much anger and malice. As Thorin turns away, Balin, Dwalin, Bilbo and I all look uneasy.

"Know this - If anyone should find it and withhold it from me, I will be avenged."

As Thorin walks away, Bilbo looks very disgruntled, and only the two of us know why.

Once I have left the throne room, I find myself walking through the familiar halls, just thinking about the confrontation with Thorin in the throne room. I had never heard him speak in such a way since I first met him, and it terrified me. It made me think that maybe we will lose Thorin for good, that he will never come back. That is something I cannot live with! I will get him back, I will stay by him, even if it kills me!

I soon come across the library and walk in, but soon stopping. The once grand place to come and relax with a good book, is now in ruins. Dust, dirt and cobwebs covering the room, books and scrolls – some of which are tattered – now littering the ground as well as the shelves and tables. I look around sadly, spotting the couches by the fireplace I had once sat in with Thorin as we would either read together or just snuggle up with each other as we would find a rare moment for some quality time together. Walking over, I gently run a hand along the back of the couch, on the space where Thorin had once sat, a lone tear falling down my cheek and a small smile tugging at my lips as I remember the good times we had within this mountain.

I am startled out of my remembrance as I hear a weeping sound. Brushing the tear from my face, I follow the sound and stop as I see Baling in a back room. His back is to me, but I can see his shoulders shaking as he sobs to himself. Hearing his tears breaks my heart, and to know Thorin is the cause of it, causes a coldness to go through me that I never thought I would feel for him. Though. . .I can't really blame Thorin for this, I blame the dragon sickness, I blame Smaug for causing so much grieve and sadness. Even dead he's still causing pain.

"Balin?"

He jumps slightly and turns to me. "Oh, Caladwen, I did not hear you come in lass." he turns back as he tries to hide his tears.

I walk over to him and put my arms around him. "You do not have to hide your sadness from me, my friend. I too feel your pain."

He wraps his arms around me both of us taking comfort from each others company.

"You are a stronger person than I, lass. How you have not broken down yet, I do not know."

I smile as I look to him once I pull back. "One of us has to be strong during these dark times. We are already losing our King, I cannot stand aside and let you all lose hope."

He smiles back as he takes my hands into his. "Spoken like a true Queen."

He bows over and kisses my right hand, causing me to chuckle.

"Ever the flatterer, Balin."

He smiles as he stands and turns to the shelves, breathing deeply to pull himself together. I stay behind him and keep my hands on his shoulders. Looking around at the sound of footsteps, we see Bilbo walking over.

"Dragon-sickness – We've seen it before." Balin begins as he turns to the Hobbit. "That look. That terrible need. It is a fierce and jealous love, Bilbo. It sent his grandfather mad."

Bilbo stands with us. "Balin, if-if Thorin. . .had the Arkenstone. . ." Bilbo slightly cocks his head, giving Balin a pointed look. I freeze slightly, wondering what he is doing. Looking to Balin, he looks surprised, understanding Bilbo's implication, understanding that our burglar does indeed have the Arkenstone. He looks to me and I give a slight nod before he looks back to Bilbo. ". . .if it was found - Would it help?"

"That stone crowns all. It is the summit of this great wealth, bestowing power upon he who bears it. Will it stay his madness? No, laddie; I fear it would make it worse. Perhaps it is best that it remains lost."

Balin raises his eyebrow at Bilbo. That's a look I know to say; 'don't give him the Arkenstone.'

Bilbo and I leave the room together, to leave Balin to his thoughts and we sit on a bench together.

"You are so lucky he did not go to Thorin." I say without looking at him.

"I know. But I had to know. . .I had to try. And besides, I know we can trust Balin."

I smile. "That we can."

He smiles back before he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out an acorn. I smile as I remember him picking it up when we were walking in Beorn's garden.

"What is that?!"

We bolt up as we hear Thorin. Looking around, we see him striding rapidly towards us.

"Thorin, just wait a moment." I say to him, my hands raised.

He ignores me, his attention fully on Bilbo. "In your hand!"

Bilbo tries to reassure him. "It-It's nothing."

"Show me."

He holds his hand out, revealing the acorn laying on his palm. "I picked it up in Beorn's garden."

I look to Thorin to see him looking from Bilbo to the acorn and back in surprise.

"You've carried it all this way."

"I'm gonna plant it in my garden, in Bag End."

His anger fading, Thorin smiles fondly at Bilbo, his eyes softening, to which I have to smile at. I can now see my old Thorin coming back. The smile that made me fall in love with him, the happy glint in his eye. That gave me hope. He is still in there.

"That's a poor prize to take back to the Shire."

"One day it'll grow. And every time I look at it, I'll remember - Remember everything that happened, the good, the bad. And how lucky I am that I made it home."

The three of us all smile. I even feel Thorin taking my hand, which makes me smile more. I stand beside him and lay my head on his shoulder, feeling a happy jolt in the pit of my stomach when he places a loving kiss to my temple.

"Thorin, I. . ."

Suddenly, Dwalin comes up and interrupts him.

"Thorin, survivors...from Laketown. They are streaming into Dale. There's hundreds of them."

Feeling Thorin tense, I look up and see the smile has faded into a dark, uncompromising expression. We have lost him again.

"Call everyone to the gate." he lets go of my hand and strides off. "TO THE GATE! NOW!"

I let out a sigh of frustration as Dwalin follows him.

"He was there, Bilbo. . .our Thorin was there. . ." I choke back a sob, feeling the tears forming in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.

Bilbo places a hand on my arm. "Hey, it's going to be alright. We will get him back somehow. I promise. Just like you told me, we just have to have hope. Yes?"

I smile and nod. "Yes. You're right. Thank you."

He smiles back as we embrace one another before we leave for the gate.

After working through the day, evening and late into the night, we have been working on blocking up the entrance that Smaug broke through, now having it halfway completed, after spending most of the day building pulley systems to lift the heavier stones. Some of the dwarves carry rocks by hand while other use the help of various pulleys and other machines. Kili, Bilbo and I walk over with a cart full of rocks in various sizes.

Thorin walks in from a side corridor, walking over to stand on the wall. "I want this fortress made safe by sunup. This mountain was hard won - I will not see it taken again."

Kili drops the end of the cart he is pulling. "The people of Laketown have nothing." Thorin looks over to his nephew as he talks. "They came to us in need. They have lost everything."

"Do not tell me what they have lost. I know well enough their hardship. Those who have lived through dragonfire should rejoice. They have much to be grateful for."

Thorin looks out at the city of Dale, where many fires can be seen lit by the people. He then turns and shouts to his dwarves.

"More stone! BRING MORE STONE TO THE GATE!"

I look on in despair. Thorin is now no longer the dwarf that I fell in love with. Looking around, I see the others obeying the orders of a madman, the wall blocking us in the mountain gradually getting higher and higher.

Not being able to witness this any longer, I turn and run from the hall. I run and run through the halls, trying to find some place to be alone. I soon come across the guardroom we had cleared out a few days ago and sit in a corner, wrapping my arms around my knees which I pull up to my chest.

I just sit in thought, thinking that if I knew this would happen, I do not know if I would have accepted the invitation to join the quest. I had lost Thorin once already, and now I am losing him again to the Dragon Sickness that once claimed his grandfather. . .the same sickness he once swore he would never have as he would not be his grandfather. My thoughts go back to what my father said to me in Mirkwood a couple weeks ago, his voice seems to taunt me.

"Do you really think that love is real? Do you think he will be there for you, to love you as you think he does? He is just like his grandfather, soon enough, his greed will become too much and he will forget all about you, leave you to live out the rest of your long life alone, trapped in your own tomb of stone. Stop now, before it is too late."

Maybe father was right all along. . .my Thorin is lost. . .the dwarf I once knew is no more, replaced by someone I do not like, love or want to be near anymore. I do not know if he can ever return. . .I just wanted my Thorin back.

Then, for the first time in a long time, my walls finally crack, and laying my head into my knees, I cry. I once again weep for my beloved, weep for the future we could and should have had. . .all the while losing some of the hope I had tried to instil into the dwarves. I do not know what to do anymore. . .what I can do.

Well, there we have it with this chapter, I hope you all enjoyed it. As I said at the top, this story will be put on hold, I'm not sure for how long or if it will be continued with. Please let me know what you're thoughts are on this story as your feedback is important for me to know if there is any point in me continuing or not.