A/N: I obviously do not own Anne or Gilbert or the series.

Gilbert was walking in Kingsport but he could not quite care enough to know where. Anne had said no, he had asked her to marry him and she had said no! He knew that sometimes when he turned a little romantic she had to change the subject but he thought it was her trying to be proper or nerves or anything other than this! Did she think he did not see how she looked at him? Did she not notice that she did not like any girl he talked with that was single? The look in her eyes that she gave to him and no one else. If he found out that he had gotten turned down in any part because of calling her carrots as a child, he would go insane. He thought he had been punished enough for that but if Anne felt he needed more punishment, then anything if it meant that she would say yes in the end. He did not know how he would fix his stupid childhood mistake but he would. Anything for his Anne-girl.

His heart felt too much emotion. He had never realized how literal those books Anne loved were when they talked about heartbreak. His heart felt like it had shattered and he had been stabbed all at once. He felt numb but drowning in emotion. He did not want to feel anything but that was not what he needed either. He needed one of his best friends, he needed... Anne. But he had refused to be friends with her. He knew that he could not, her friendship would never be enough for his heart as he had already discovered. He wanted to be the man Anne turned to and she had made her opinion clear on that. Now he did not have Anne at all. Thinking about her made it worse but what could he think about that did not go back to her? Schoolwork? Competing with Anne in classes. Family? Telling his mother that Anne had said no. Kingsport and Avonlea were full of memories with Anne and the two of them together. How was he supposed to deal with this? How was he supposed to see her with some other guy? There was a whole list of them who would love to be her escort. What had Anne called this? His brain helpfully chipped in,"depths of despair." He was definitely in that. He realized that he was walking up the stairs of his boarding house. He sighed, there were plenty of medical texts to read and other assignments that he could work on. He might as well throw himself into his schoolwork. For who could love a man, who loved Anne instead of them?