The Way Her Hair Frames Her Face

Summary: I could talk about how I had this idea about young Leia hearing Jyn Erso's speech and having an "oh no I'm gay" moment, but that totally took a backseat to me just wanting to write more Rey/Leia. I have no justification.

Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to…ugh. Well, at least Disney isn't outright homophobic, despite the de-canonization of okay let's not go there.

Pairings: Rey/Leia

Author's Notes: Yes, yet another fucking Rey/Leia fic. Don't ask what's wrong with me. I don't know.

I sensed Rey waiting at my door for a while, as if she were trying to get up the courage to knock. When it seemed like she was going to give up and walk away, I went to the door and opened it. I wanted the distraction; being alone with my thoughts wasn't going well. I had to wipe away a few tears before opening the door. "Evening, Rey. Is everything all right?"

There was a reason I asked that; she was practically radiating nervousness. She seemed to calm a little when she saw me, though.

"Yes. Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Rey stepped into my quarters and I shut the door behind her. To my surprise, she reached for me, wanting to be held. I wasn't about to turn down a hug from Rey, so I took her in my arms. She was wearing her hair down, so I was able to place my hand on the back of her head and stroke her hair a little bit. I probably shouldn't have done that, but there was something about Rey's hair.

I was there when Jyn Erso gave the speech about rebellions being built on hope that became famous in the Rebellion and is now legendary in the Resistance. I couldn't keep my eyes off her face. Not just her face, but the strands of hair that fell around it, accentuating her cheekbones and her sharp eyes. At the time, I told myself that the way I reacted to listening to her impassioned voice and watching her was just feeling inspired by the way her rebellious spirit matched mine. For a long time, I managed to convince myself of that.

And then there was Rey. Aside from her hair color, she didn't look much like Jyn, and as for her hair, she wore three buns to Jyn's one. (Funny, I used to wear two fairly often.) But those pieces of hair that frame her face…I don't know…something about that sight drew my eyes and I don't want to look away.

I had to admit it. Rey was beautiful.

It was funny how different and similar she and Jyn are. I sensed so much old bitterness in Jyn that was finally beginning to fall away, even if at the time, I had no idea how I was sensing it. Rey…she managed to maintain a certain optimism despite her meager circumstances, and only now was she beginning to hurt. I sensed what almost felt like an emotional open wound from her when she first stepped off the Millennium Falcon. I couldn't help but hold her to me, hoping I could somehow stanch the psychic blood flow.

The thing was, I think Rey has noticed what I thought of her. She was rapidly becoming stronger with the Force, and that meant she could sense how I felt when I looked at her. I hoped she was here because she needed emotional support (and her friend Finn was unconscious, so I was the next best option) and not because she thought I wanted her here. And I did want her here. It felt good to have her holding me. It felt like nothing would ever take away the pain of sensing Han's life snuffed out and knowing our son caused it, but the sharp edges of the pain softened when Rey had her arms around me.

"So, what is it you want?" I asked, sifting my fingers through her hair.

"Mmm," she said absentmindedly. "I like when you touch my hair."

I felt my cheeks grow hot. "But you didn't come here so I could touch your hair."

"Actually…I…" She held me tighter. "I sensed you wanting me close."

I don't think of myself as someone who blushes particularly often, but I was sure my face was an incredible shade of crimson. She wasn't wrong, but were my feelings really so transparent? And what was wrong with me that I wanted her close? Her presence was comforting, but I should be feeling maternal towards her, not…whatever the hell was going on with me. Was it because I had just lost my husband and felt lonely? Han and I had been separated for years, but knowing there was no longer any hope of him coming home…

"I know you're new to being able to sense people's feelings so acutely, but the fact that you sense someone wanting something from you doesn't mean you have to indulge it," I said.

"What if I want to indulge it?" Rey asked me in a quiet voice.

I pressed my face into her shoulder. "Indulge what, exactly? What did you come here expecting?"

I felt Rey touch the back of my neck and couldn't suppress a shudder. "From what I've seen, sex looks like it's violent. But I don't think that's what you want from me. For it to be violent, I mean."

Oh, Maker. I had tried not to let my thoughts stray in that direction—Rey is younger than my only biological child—but had apparently failed.

"I could never hurt you," I said without thinking. "But, Rey…"

Rey interrupted me by leaning down and touching her lips to my neck. There was absolutely nothing lustful about the touch. I don't think I've ever had anyone try so chastely to seduce me before. Words failed me for a moment while I processed the sensation of Rey's soft lips on my skin, but when I got ahold of language again, I picked up my sentence where I had left off. "I can sense that you don't feel the same."

"But I am curious," said Rey in a voice that was almost a whisper. "I think I would enjoy it. With you."

I was at a loss for words. While I tried to think of what to say, Rey spoke up. "Can I kiss you?"

I swallowed. Did I want to kiss her? Absolutely. Did I think that it was a good idea? Hell, no. Although maybe Rey would kiss me, feel nothing, and realize she shouldn't have come to my room. "Okay."

I leaned back from our embrace and Rey tilted her head down to kiss me. I slid my hands into her hair. It was obvious that I was Rey's first kiss; she was trying, but her kisses were chaste and clumsy. It took her a few moments to relax and get into the rhythm of it, but once she did, it was nice. And she didn't have the usual beginner problem of not knowing what to do with her hands; she had one hand on my waist and the other hand slid from the back of my neck to the side, lightly running her thumbnail up and down my throat. I really, really like having my neck touched that way, and couldn't help but wonder how she guessed to do that.

The kiss came to a natural end and Rey touched her forehead to mine. "You've never kissed anyone before, have you?" I asked.

"No," she admitted. "But I'm glad it was you."

That made me feel a little better about kissing someone who was barely an adult. I brushed the back of one hand against her cheek. "Was it what you wanted?"

Rey smiled a little shyly. "It was harder than I thought it would be."

"You were pretty good. You'll get used to it."

Rey linked her fingers behind my back. "So…I can sense that you want me…should I come to bed with you?"

I was fairly sure I knew what was going to happen now. We would take things slow, Rey would realize she didn't want to continue, and maybe she would stay in my bed overnight for purely platonic closeness. I was not opposed to any of that.

But apparently she had to figure it out for herself that she didn't want to sleep with me, so I took her hand and kissed it. "If you want," I said, and she nodded. I moved to lead her to my bed, but instead of following me, she leaned down and kissed me hard. I was surprised at the difference between our first kiss and this one; she was a fast learner. Her hand was on my neck again, her thumbnail lightly stroking my skin. Seriously, how did she know to do that? Could she sense that that was what I liked? For a moment, I almost regretted that whatever was happening probably wouldn't lead to sex; being with someone who could sense what I like would be fun.

"So what now?" she murmured after she had kissed me for a while. "Should we lie down?"

"If you want," I said, and she nodded. I could still sense her nervousness, but to my surprise, it wasn't stopping her yet. I took her hands in mine and led her to my bed. I gestured for her to lie down, and she did, a little hesitantly. I lay next to her, reaching to caress her from shoulder to hip. Her eyes closed and she relaxed visibly. I edged closer and rested my forehead against hers, sliding my fingers through her hair and down her neck. Her hands made fists in the fabric of my nightshirt and she turned her head to kiss me. For someone who had never been kissed before, she liked kissing an awful lot. Not that I was complaining; she was getting better at it by the minute. I traced her (alarmingly protuberant) spine with one hand, not wanting to start putting my hands all over her too early, but it wasn't long before she squirmed to try to get underneath me. I got up and leaned over her, keeping my weight off her, stroking her face for a moment before going back to kissing her.

"Leia?" she whispered. "Will you…will you kiss my neck?"

I was only too glad to. Rey had a gorgeous neck. I brushed the knuckles of one hand against her cheek while I trailed kisses from just below Rey's ear to her shoulder. I tried using my teeth a little and she moaned, a noise that set my heart racing. Now I was really regretting that we probably wouldn't end up having sex.

Or maybe we would; she wrapped her arms and legs around me, pulling me close. I've never had anyone's legs around my waist before. I decided I liked it immensely. I gently closed my teeth over one of Rey's collarbones and she gasped. "Wait."

I backed off. I didn't want to stop, but it was probably best to stop before things went any further.

"How am I going to get my clothes off if I'm holding you?"

Oh. Well.

"You may have to let go of me," I answered. I knew I was smiling and I hoped she didn't think I was mocking her; she was just so damn adorable.

"Could you undress me?"

I liked that idea. I very much liked that idea. "If that's what you want."

She nodded. I undid the first button on her pajama top, moving the cloth aside to expose her collarbones. I traced them with my fingertips; they were lovely, but her skin was sunken around them. How long had it been since she had enough to eat?

"Is something wrong?" Rey whispered.

"No," I assured her. "Try to relax."

She nodded and laid her head back down. I continued unbuttoning her shirt, waiting until I had finished with all the buttons to part the fabric, exposing her thin chest. I was caught between two warring impulses: one was to cover her with kisses and the other was to dress her again to drag her to the mess hall for a hearty meal. I shouldn't have been looking at her body in such a way; I should have definitely chosen to tell her to get dressed and go have an extra helping of dinner.

But I chose the kisses. I leaned over her and kissed her shoulder and upper chest, giving her time to adjust to the feeling of this kind of contact before I started touching her breasts. I managed to put my weight on one of my arms and used my other hand to stroke her waist and hip. Rey wrapped her arms around me and I felt her legs press to my sides.

My lips met the swell of one of her breasts and she gasped. If I couldn't sense how much she was enjoying herself, I would have thought she wanted me to stop, but fortunately, I could tell how much she wanted me to continue. Her breasts were small and hard from lack of proper nutrition, and it made me afraid of hurting her. I closed my lips around one nipple, careful not to use my teeth. Rey moaned loudly, her fingers digging into my shoulders. Encouraged, I circled her nipple with the tip of my tongue. "Leia!" Rey cried, and I immediately knew that that sound of Rey saying my name would stay with me forever.

I kept playing with her breasts, and while I normally like to bring my teeth into things more when I'm bed with someone, I didn't try to be anything but extremely gentle. Gentleness wasn't something I'd ever had to think about much with a lover before, but if Rey needed it, I could do it for her. Rey was very vocal in response, her moaning noises surprisingly beautiful.

"Leia?" she said in a voice that was almost a whimper, and I sat up. If she wanted to stop, I couldn't help but be disappointed. Hearing her cry out for me had…affected me quite a bit, let's say.

"What is it?"

"I don't really know how this works…with another woman…"

Ah. "Why don't we start with me using my fingers?"

Rey licked her lips. "Be gentle?"

I kissed her forehead. "Of course."

I sat up and hooked my fingers under the waistband of her pajama pants, not pulling yet, just giving her the chance to undress herself if she wanted. She pushed on my hands impatiently, apparently deciding she liked me undressing her. With some help from her (mostly inelegant but cute squirming), I got Rey's pajama pants off and moved my hands over her thin but strong thighs. She sat up and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me down on top of her again. "Stay close to me," she whispered.

"That might be a little difficult, but I'll try," I said. "I can't keep my weight on you if you want me to keep kissing you and touch you between your legs at the same time."

"I'd like you to keep kissing me," said Rey.

"I can do that," I said, leaning down to give her the kisses she wanted. This time, instead of her hands gripping my shirt, I felt her palms on the skin of my lower back. Her hands were rough and calloused, and felt amazing.

After I took a few seconds to adjust to the new sensation of Rey touching my skin (and enjoy it), I moved so my weight was off Rey's hips and reached to stroke the inside of one of her thighs with the back of one hand. I felt her part her legs further for me and fought back a shudder. I thought back to listening to Jyn Erso's speech and wondered how I managed to convince myself for so many years that I wasn't interested in women. I cupped my palm against Rey's core, and she was soaking wet. This time I couldn't suppress the shudder that ran through me. "Rey, are you sure?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I want to know what it feels like."

I carefully eased one finger into her. She was so tight I was glad I hadn't tried two fingers, which is what I like. Rey let out a low, soft moan as I searched for the textured skin of her pleasure spot and massaged it slowly with my fingertip.

"How does that feel?" I asked. I may have been able to sense what she was feeling, and she was certainly enjoying it, but she wasn't experiencing much pleasure.

"It's good," she sighed. I kept stroking her, wondering if she would enjoy it more if I could get two fingers into her, but convinced I would hurt her if I tried. Rey sighed and moaned and rocked her hips in rhythm with my caresses, but I felt like I could give her more. Her head was tilted back and she seemed to have forgotten that she wanted me to kiss her, so I moved my mouth to her chest and suckled gently at one of her nipples. She cried out my name again, and I felt a surge of pleasure from her, but I didn't think she could reach orgasm unless I tried something else.

"Rey?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I try using my mouth?"

"You can do anything you want to me," Rey sighed.

Well, okay then. I moved backward on the bed until I could get my head between her legs. I leaned down to firmly stroke her clit with my tongue, re-starting my caresses of her internal pleasure spot. Rey gasped and arched into the contact. "Oh, Leia!"

I tried, I really tried, and Rey was certainly enjoying herself, but maybe it was my inexperience with women that kept Rey from feeling as much pleasure as I wanted her to. I sat up halfway, ready to give up. "Rey, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to stop!" Rey panted. "Nothing to be sorry for!"

"Trust me, it can be much better than this," I said grimly.

"Then I have an idea," said Rey, still sounding out of breath. "Is there a way we could both feel pleasure at the same time? Then maybe I could sense what you were feeling."

It was worth a shot. "Okay. Lie back down and we'll try it."

I couldn't coordinate touching both myself and Rey, but I could still enthusiastically go down on her. It was actually much harder than I anticipated, but I knew what felt good for me, and judging from what I was sensing from her, it was working. The noises she had been making had done a number on me, and I barely had to stroke my clit for a few seconds before I felt pleasure building rapidly within me. Rey cried out my name again—I could never get sick of hearing that—and moaned, "I can feel something new!"

Damn right she could. I could sense her pleasure and she could sense mine, and it plunged us both into a dizzying spiral. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, and I wasn't sure whether to put it down to being with a woman for the first time, being with another Force-sensitive person for the first time, or both. I quickly decided it didn't matter; it was incredible. I was soon teetering on the edge of climax, but Rey's pleasure seemed to be contingent on mine, and I resolved to hold on until Rey was satisfied.

Rey's inner thighs quaked hard as her orgasm overcame her, and she let out a cry that sounded more surprised than anything else. She pushed her hands helplessly through my hair. I could have sworn I saw a burst of color in front of my eyes as I sensed her climax at the same time as I felt my own. I'm normally fairly quiet in bed, but I couldn't help but gasp Rey's name.

When I could move again—which took a few minutes—I crawled up to lie beside Rey with my head on her shoulder. I draped my arm across her and she touched the back of my hand, seemingly unable to move at all aside from that. "Wow," Rey whispered.

"You were so good, Rey," I sighed. I wasn't one for showering people with compliments, but I meant it.

"I didn't really do anything," she murmured.

"You had an especially good idea." I kissed her shoulder.

"Could I do more for you?" she asked, squeezing my hand.

"Maybe wait until I can feel my limbs," I said, laughing. When was the last time I laughed? It felt good.

Rey turned over and began kissing my neck. "Do I have to wait?"

I laughed. I still sensed no sexual desire from her, but she was certainly enjoying all the intimacy. Maybe it was the novelty of so much closeness after years of being alone. Maybe she was just enjoying the sensations she felt from me. I had stopped caring why she wanted to be with me; what mattered was that we both had agreed to it and were enjoying the hell out of it.

Speaking of enjoying the hell out of it, if she wanted to keep going, I wasn't about to stop her. I squirmed to get fully underneath her and wrapped my arms and legs around her. Rey continued kissing and nuzzling my neck, which felt amazing, and she worked one hand under my pajama shirt and cupped my waist, which also felt amazing. It was when she sat up to try to unbutton my shirt that I stopped her.

"What's wrong?" she asked me.

"I used to be young and beautiful like you, but I'm afraid that's not the case anymore," I said with what was probably a wry smile.

"I like your body," Rey insisted.

"That's sweet of you to say, but…"

She cut me off. "It's not that I don't desire you, Leia. It's that I don't…I don't feel that way about anyone."

I laughed, once. "Then what the hell are you doing in bed with me?"

She leaned over and kissed me. "Being very, very glad I was curious about sex." Her hands went back to the buttons on my shirt. "I want to touch your skin. Your breasts. Please."

The girl doesn't mince words, I'll give her that. Bracing myself for her to change her mind and tell me to put my clothes back on, I wrestled my pajama top off.

She was immediately all over me with her lips and her hands. So not changing her mind, then. Did I mention that her weathered hands felt incredible? Because they felt incredible. Her name slipped past my lips as her hands cradled my breasts and massaged carefully. Ordinarily I would tell my partner not to be so gentle, but with Rey…

"How does that feel?" she asked me.

"You can't sense it?" I teased, and she looked a little surprised at the question.

"I can, I just…I like to hear you say it."

I closed my eyes. "I like it."

Apparently she wanted to try everything I had done for her, because she leaned down and fastened her mouth onto the tip of my left breast. Her hot, soft mouth felt so damn good. I slid my hands through her hair, fighting the impulse to lay my head back so I could look at her. Her brow was furrowed as if in concentration. Apparently wanting to pay my breasts equal attention, she switched to the right one. As she moved, I felt her work one hand underneath the elastic waistband of my pajama pants to brush my inner thigh; I moved my legs apart for her. Just like I had done, she asked for permission to put her fingers in me, which I gave, rather insistently. When she slowly moved two fingers into me, I felt tears sting my eyes. It took me a moment to realize why; she wasn't hurting me, and I'm certainly not inexperienced. But something about having Rey inside me felt incredibly right in a way I had never felt before.

Unlike her, I can get off without sensing another's pleasure, and she was just as quick a learner at sex as she had been at kissing. Her fingertips ran over my internal pleasure spot again and again until she successfully coaxed an orgasm from me. I breathed Rey's name as the shudders that shook my body subsided.

She stroked my face and kissed me. So gentle. I hadn't expected such tenderness from her, nor did I expect to enjoy it so much, but as I gathered Rey into my arms, I thought that there was nothing I would change about our encounter.

"Did I do it right?" she asked.

I kissed her hair. "Very much so."

We settled down to sleep, not bothering to adjust our clothing. Even though both of us had been plenty satisfied, we were both still very much enjoying how it felt to lie close while half (or, in Rey's case, completely) undressed. Rey still didn't quite understand the necessity of showering, but she had discovered that she was very fond of how it felt, and she must have showered before she came to my room, because her skin still had that fresh-from-the-shower softness to it. If I hadn't been so worn out, I would have covered her whole body with kisses again. As it was, I only had the energy to caress her back while I held her. Rey laid her head down on my chest, touching a small, sleepy kiss to each of my breasts. (She was so damn cute.)

"Can you sleep in that position?" I asked her.

"No," she sighed. "I can't even sleep on a mattress. They're too soft. I've never slept next to someone before…"

"Or on top of someone," I interjected; speaking of mattresses, she was draped over me as if I were one, using my chest as a pillow.

"…but I want to stay here as long as I can." She turned her head and kissed the center of my chest. I felt a surge of affection for her and brushed her hair back from her face. It was damaged from her time living in a desert and badly needs a trim, but I didn't care; it was hers.

"Leia?" she murmured.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For sleeping with you?"

She paused. "Is that what it's called?"

I wondered about some of the colloquialisms used on Jakku to refer to sex. I decided to wait to ask. "That's one of the things it's called."

"Yes." She tripped her fingers down my arm. "You feel so good."

I laughed once. I seemed to be doing that quite a bit tonight, thanks to Rey. "I'm not doing anything."

"I like being close to you," Rey said. Earlier tonight, when she first came to my room, she seemed to be having trouble choosing the right words to talk about intimacy. She didn't seem to be having that same difficulty anymore. "You're so soft and warm."

I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a little squeeze. "I hope you're enjoying this because you're with me, not just because you're affection-deprived."

"Of course I'm glad I'm with you!" Rey insisted. "I know…I know I've been hearing stories about you my whole life and that doesn't change the fact that we just met, but I feel comfortable with you."

I sat up enough to kiss the top of her head. "I was teasing."

"Oh." I felt her relax.

I didn't address what she had said: despite us barely knowing each other (and Rey apparently not experiencing desire), she was comfortable enough to jump into bed with me. And it had been incredible. Why did being with her feel so natural? I had felt a connection with her since the moment I first laid eyes on her. Could it have something to do with the fact that she was so strong with the Force?

Rey dozed for a while, still using me as a pillow/mattress combination, until she got up with a whisper of "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to change positions to fall asleep."

"That's fine," I told her. "You get comfortable."

She leaned over me and gave me several long, gentle kisses. Rey was a strong girl with a courageous heart who had led a hardscrabble life, and yet she was a very gentle lover. Or maybe it was inexperience, and she would get bolder.

I hoped I would get to find out.

After she was done kissing me, she gazed at me for a little while, touching my face and hair. Eventually, she said, "I'm glad you were my first."

I hugged her close to me, and she sighed happily and kissed my shoulder. "I am too."

I had thought we were going to sleep now, but she kept nuzzling and kissing my shoulder and neck, and I thought that while I wouldn't change anything that had passed between us so far, I could think of something I wanted to add. "Rey?"

"Yes?"

"Can you do something else for me?"

"Of course!" She leaned back to look at me. "What is it?"

"Will you bite my neck?"

To my surprise, she looked alarmed. "Wouldn't that hurt?"

"Yes," I said, "but a little pain is fine by me."

I would have been able to tell she was nervous even if I couldn't sense it. "I don't want to hurt you," she insisted.

I was reminded of when she said that from what she had seen in her life, sex seemed like it was violent, and that seemed to frighten her. I reached up and brushed the back of one hand down her face. "When I say a little pain is fine by me, I mean I actually like it. You wouldn't be hurting me in the sense that you would be doing something I didn't want. You would be doing something I asked you to do."

Rey nodded. "I understand." She leaned down and kissed my throat, draping herself over me like a blanket. She paused a little before sinking her teeth into the base of my neck. I cried out as she closed her mouth slightly and dragged her teeth over my flesh. She could definitely sense what I like. Hypothesis confirmed. Oh, Maker, it felt good.

"Just like that," I said.

She kissed me right over where I was sure I was going to have a spectacular bruise (but couldn't bring myself to care) and then bit my shoulder hard. I wrapped my hands around hanks of her hair.

I had thought I would be satisfied after a few bites, but no, my body ached for her again. The girl could play me like a B'omarr pipe organ. "Rey…?"

"I know," she murmured. She worked one hand under the cloth of my pajama pants and plunged two fingers into me. I stifled a moan and blinked back tears again. What was it about Rey's slim, calloused fingers that made me feel like they were made for me?

She kissed her way down to my chest and played skillfully with my breasts (quickest learner ever) while her fingers worked quickly and smoothly inside me. I had been briefly concerned that I wouldn't be able to climax a third time, but Rey's affections pushed me over the edge and I didn't bother trying to stifle the noise I made.

"Thank you," I sighed when I could form words again.

"You're welcome!" She kissed me warmly and lay down beside me, caressing my hair.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against her shoulder. "Is there anything else you want me to do for you?" I licked my lips; I could still taste her. If she wanted me to go down on her again, I was definitely game. She might not get off on that alone, but she did seem to like it.

"No, I'm fine," she assured me. "It was so intense. I think it might be too much for me to try again tonight."

"It is a little overwhelming the first few times," I agreed. I thought I could move again, so I turned onto my side and touched my forehead to Rey's, reaching to rest one hand on her hip. "Do you think you can fall asleep like this?"

"Maybe," she said. "I hope so."

I had been able to sense everything that she felt, but I still wanted to hear her say it. "So how was your first time?"

"I loved it," she sighed. "I always thought sex looked violent and messy. And ugly. But with us, it was…it was beautiful."

I felt a blush creep up my face. I'm not a sappy person. Quite the opposite. In literally any other situation, I would have scoffed at the idea of sex being beautiful. It can be a hell of a lot of fun, certainly, but beautiful? That word just didn't apply.

Except I was tempted to agree with Rey. I didn't know how to say it, so I kissed her and hoped she understood. I thought she did. There were a few other things, though, that I did know how to say. "You were incredible, Rey. You have a beautiful body. And a pure heart." I kissed her forehead. "I love being with you."

"Thank you," she whispered, a smile coming to her face. I may not be good with compliments, but it's easier when I know the other person needs to hear them. And there was the fact that three mind-meltingly good orgasms had loosened my tongue.

We finally—I didn't want to think about how late it had gotten—tried to sleep then. Rey ended up turning over onto her other side, and I fit myself against her back, my forehead resting against one of her shoulder blades. To my surprise, Rey was able to fall asleep with me holding her. I felt myself drifting off as well, fighting a little to stay awake because I wanted to enjoy the sensation of Rey's bare skin against mine. I told myself to relax and sleep. Tomorrow, I could wake up next to Rey.

Waking up next to Rey. I liked that idea. I had woken up alone every morning for quite a few years now, and as much as I missed Han—and I would have to deal with my feelings about his death later, and the inevitable guilt of taking a new lover so soon afterward—I was ready for that particular pattern to end. Maybe the next morning I would wake up and look in the mirror to see the bite marks on my neck and think you sick laser-brain, you fucked a 19-year-old girl, and I would feel sick to my stomach and never be able to look at Rey again. After all, when I had first let her kiss me, I had been sure we wouldn't end up sleeping together, and things had…gotten out of hand before I could really process what was happening.

But maybe we would wake up and kiss each other good morning, and things would be hard after that, but we would still have each other.

I hoped so.

A/N: I have no excuse.