A/N: Hello, this is just a warning: I'm rating this story as mature because of some references to self harm and suicide, just since I want to be on the safe side of the ratings.

My heavy eyelids slowly and groggily opened, and were only met with white and vague shapes, lots of them. I could hear vague shouting too, several familiar- I think they were at least, voices calling to me. The room smelled sterile, like medicine and medical equipment and disinfectant. There were faint beeps to be heard as well. The first coherent word to meet my ears was a loud, brutish yell of "Izaya!". My name, that's all I had heard so far. Suddenly, close to me, a face came into focus, the face of a familiar brute. I cringed a bit. Shizu-chan. I managed to form a wry smile, but didn't have the energy to speak yet.

"Izaya, are you feeling alright? We were all worried!" The shrill, somewhat nasally voice of Shinra made me jolt, sending a pounding through my head. Wait, why was Shinra so concerned for me? I mean, he didn't come to see me in the hospital when I got stabbed, so why now?

"Izaya, can you speak?" Shizu-chan's voice was concerned, I'd never heard him sound like this before! Especially not around me. I opened my mouth, but the only sound that came out was a hoarse stutter, my throat burned, like it hadn't gotten used in ages, what had I done? I looked down a bit, eyes focusing on my arms. Now this wasn't ordinary whatsoever. There were bandages on my wrists, and when I lifted one a bit, I found my eyes locked on to the image of lots of horizontal wounds across my wrists, still bloody. Made with what seemed to be my normal knife. Strange, I had no recollection of cutting myself, or attempting to end my own life recently.

Two more people came barging into the room, and I recognized them as Mairu and Kururi, my demons of younger siblings.

"Iza-nii, Iza-nii!" Mairu screamed in a panic, "Did you really try to kill yourself?!"

"Brother (should)... not...(do those things)" Kururi added in softly. I blinked in disbelief, suicide? I've never been a suicidal person, I'd never consider dying! I mustered up the strength to talk, and managed to say,

"E-excuse me, but who the hell are you people? None of you would really be concerned for me.." My voice was pitiable, a croaky whisper at best, and seemed more frail than normal even taking away the fact that I was wounded.

"What are you talking about, Izaya, of course we'd be worried, dumbass." Shizu-chan laughed, but he was obviously concerned for my health and my safety.

"Who wouldn't be worried if they found their best friend collapsed on his couch with slit wrists and barely even alive?!" Shinra's voice rose with anger at me for my logical comment. I winced visibly at his voice's loud, angry tone. "I'm sorry, it's just... Izaya, why wouldn't we be worried?"

"If you were normal you wouldn't care.." I felt spiteful, but their sudden concern made my chest feel warm. How pathetic of me.

"What do you mean?! We'd be concerned no matter what put you in the hospital!"

I see this version of Shizu-chan is just as angry as the normal one. Well, perhaps compassionate would be a better term for this version. I exhaled a small sigh of relief when a female nurse entered the room, smilingly instructing the crowd of my "friends" to leave, since I needed to be checked on and needed to rest.

"Hello, Mr. Orihara~" The woman smiled kindly at me, the kind of smile usually directed at little children. I nodded a bit, sighing as she helped me to my feet gently. I wrinkled my nose at the feeling of the white hospital gown against my skin. What I would give to have my coat back, I thought sadly as I saw myself in a mirror. This didn't look like me... I was scrawny- Not to say I had any meat on my bones before, but at least I was muscular, not a quivering, shaking bag of bones that could easily pass as younger than my real age, due to my short stature and malnourished body. My hair was longer too, more unkempt than normal, giving me the look of one of those sleep deprived shut in types. This is not my body. I know it isn't. I've never had this appearance. And why was everyone suddenly so worried about me?! And why do I have these cuts?! "You must have lots of people who care about you Mr. Orihara~" The nurse smiled, and I paused my attempt to solve the mystery to answer her.

"Ah, I suppose I do.." I sighed bitterly, "How long must I stay here?" I put on my ordinary somewhat melodramatic air.

"A few more days is all, then you can be let out." The woman smiled.

"Lovely. I do hate hospitals, you know?" I laughed, silently thankful when I realized that my voice sounded mostly normal. A bit more hushed than it should've been, but as close as I was getting.

"That's understandable." She smiled, helping me back into the white hospital bed, "I'll let you rest now, Mr. Orihara~" And with that, she left. I sighed heavily, settling back in my bed to think.

"So, so far I know at least Shinra, Shizu-chan, and my sisters are acting odd, I would assume everyone else is too." I murmured, tracing idle patterns across the skin of my right hand, "And this certainly isn't my body. Maybe I got sent to some other world.. Well, it's certainly not the kind of other world I was interested in seeing.." I sighed. It was sort of nice though, having them all concerned for me. I felt that warm feeling in my chest again, when thinking of their sudden kindness, I couldn't help but feel happy, and fragile, and... And human. I felt something wet and warm on my face, and nervously moved my hands towards my face. "Oh,

I'm crying..." I smiled to myself, feeling the silent tears pour from my eyes, "I suppose I'm finally human.. Ha-ha..." I closed my eyes gently, I was too, too tired for this.

"Izaya! Wake up!" A sharp, female voice met my ears, and I opened my eyes to see Namie standing beside my bed.

"Aah, Namie.." I smiled, sitting up straighter in bed, folding my hands in my lap calmly.

"This is why you gave me the weekend off, isn't it?! So you could try to kill yourself!" She yelled at me, "Honestly.. I'm your housekeeper, I shouldn't even be getting full weekends off." She looked angry, and had that same concerned look in her eyes that everyone else who had come to see me had.

"Housekeeper..?" My brows furrowed in confusion. Namie isn't my housekeeper, she's my secretary.

"Yes, of course. God, do you know how worried I was when that friend of yours told me you were in the hospital?"

"Aw, how sweet. It's lovely to know you care, Namie."

"Why wouldn't I care? It's kind of a part of my job to care for you."

"Well, I'm okay, so if you could just-"

"Izaya-san!" Ah, I suppose Mikado has come to see me too.

"Hello, Mikado-kun~ It's lovely to see you~" I smirked, just the slightest little bit, watching as Mikado and that little friend of his, Kida, came into the room to see me. Odd, that Sonohara girl isn't with them..

"Izaya-san, are you f-feeling okay?" I couldn't help but laugh, this was nothing like my Mikado-kun. And why was Kida here, he left Ikebukuro after that little incident with his gang. I guess some elements of this world are different. Well, aside from that odd, major change involving me. "I-Izaya-san, what's so funny?" Mikado sounded so hilariously panicky, I just laughed harder.

"I'm sorry~.. Ah, I'm quite alright, Mikado-kun~" I covered my mouth to silence another laughing fit.

"Izaya, did you actually...?" Kida began, but he didn't finish his sentence.

"Oh, yes, I suppose I did.." I sighed, "Would you mind leaving, it's rather late."

"You were sleeping when I got here, I'm sure you can spare some time to see your underclassmen." Namie rolled her eyes at me, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"And you rudely chose to wake me," I retorted calmly, "I barely got any rest!"

"Fine, we'll leave." She smiled a bit and quickly ushered Mikado and Kida out of the room.

"You know, Namie's never smiled at me before.." I mused as my eyes slowly closed. I hoped to wake up in my apartment..

I groaned when I woke up in the same hospital room that I had fallen asleep in. "Lovely... Ah? What's this?" I noticed, beside my bed, were several bouquets of flowers, each coupled with a sympathy card, wishing me well. I felt my shoulders heave with a small sob, and felt the hot sting of tears in my eyes. What is wrong with me, why do I keep crying, why do I feel so weak?! I hate this so much, this world is making me feel human, it's horrible, I'm not human, I can't feel like this! No, I need to stay calm, I can't lose it, there's still still a chance I can get back to the right world.

"Hello, Mr. Orihara, how are you feeling this morning?" The voice of the female nurse from yesterday met my ears, and I quickly straightened myself up in bed, hoping she wouldn't be able to notice that I'd been crying. "Ah, it's so dark in here! Do you mind if I open the blinds?"

"No, I suppose not.." I sighed. I watched her set down a tray, hurrah, hospital food, and walk over to the only window, opening the blinds. How sickeningly cheerful, I thought as the bright sunlight streamed into the room, shadows cast on the floor by trees outside the hospital, cherry blossoms in full bloom, since it was spring, so of course they'd be in bloom. I sighed heavily, looking towards the window.

"I brought you your breakfast too, Mr. Orihara~" She smiled sweetly, and picked up the tray she had set down, carrying it to my bedside, and placing it on the bed. I grimaced involuntarily, disgusted by the meal on the tray. Everything was a plain, bland, brownish grey color, and looked utterly horrible and unappealing.

"Thank you ma'am." I said, admittedly stiff in tone, and reluctantly started eating, suppressing a gag and I shoved the food down my throat fast enough to avoid tasting it. I sighed in relief when the food was all gone, and nodded a simple, reluctant thanks to the nurse, who smiled and left.

I sighed, bored out of my mind as I waited for someone else to enter my room. I wish someone wanted to come and kill me, that'd be interesting. But Shizu-chan had gone soft to me, and I doubt this version of me has made many enemies. Shame, shame. How tediously dull. I sighed, slowly removing the bandages from my arms, wanting to see my wounds. I laughed when I saw the rows of haphazard cuts on my wrists and forearms. All the wounds were closed, and would certainly leave scars.

"Izaya, it's me. Namie. I came to check on you. You seemed off yesterday, what's wrong?" I heard Namie enter the room, and looked up.

"Ah, yes, I'm fine, Namie. How exactly was I 'off'?" I laughed.

"Refusing to see Ryugamine and Kida, first of all. That's not like you, you always let them talk to you, unless you're practicing."

"Ah." I decided to ignore what she had said, 'practicing', for now, "Really, I'm alright, Namie. I'll see them when I'm feeling better."

"If you say so.. Kishitani and Heiwajima wanted to see you again today too."

"Shinra and Shizu-chan? If they want to, it's okay." I rested my hands in my lap quietly, tracing idle patterns on the sheets beneath my hands.

"That nurse said you'll be let out tomorrow afternoon, since they only wanted to keep you here a few days to make sure your mental and physical conditions were stable." Namie's attitude towards me may be different, but she seemed to still lack any discernable personality. How funny. I smiled a bit at her, before looking back down at my lap.

"When are Shinra and Shizu-chan coming?"

"In the afternoon. You should get some more rest, I'll leave for now." Namie sighed, and left the room again. I started to panic, I'd have to deal with that freak masquerading as Shizu-chan. I felt my breathing quicken suddenly, panic washing over my body, as I started to shake, just the slightest amount. Tears stung the corners of my eyes, and I willed them to go away, a small cry catching in my throat halfway up. The need to cry overpowered my will not to, and the tears poured out. "H-how pathetic.." I let a self loathing smile cross my face. I despised crying, it was such a pathetically human action, and I looked like a mess when I cried. I tried to calm my shaky breaths, wiping away tears and pausing to feel the red, puffy skin under my eyes, knowing that my face was red and blotchy all over. I brushed my hair out of my face with a sigh, it was just long enough to be a bother. Damn this body. I bided the time by trying to think of how I could return to the NORMAL version of the world, until I heard the nurse enter the room again, and realized it must be about noon, give or take. God, more disgusting meals in my future, it seems. How fantastic. I forced myself to smile at the nurse, as she set my second meal of the day down.

"Mr. Orihara, I have to mention that you're going be put on some antidepressants once you leave." She sounded sympathetic. I guess that I won't be taking my medicine, since I don't have depression.

"Thank you for telling me," I paused to read her name tag, "Akame." I sighed heavily, and started to eat, quickly shoving food into my mouth.

"Is something wrong with the food, Mr. Orihara? You eat so quickly." She raised an eyebrow, concern on her face.

"No, the food is quite good, don't worry." I coupled a smile with my lie, and quickly finished eating. "Thank you very much for the food."

"Only doing my job. I'd also like to let you know that you're going to have some visitors in a bit. Some of the people who visited you yesterday. I believe their names are Kishitani and Heiwajima.."

"Ah, thank you, I was already made aware of this. I wish I didn't have to see them.." I cursed myself for letting that last sentence slip out.

"Any reason why, Mr. Orihara?"

"I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry." I said quickly, "I'd like to rest if you don't mind leaving." I flashed her a slight smile, and made a vague hand motion. She nodded, and left. As soon as the door shut behind her, I felt my stress about being in this strange, different world take over my whole body, and I felt like crying again. This world was making me human in the worst possible way. I would hate to be on the same level as my humans, as much as I love them all so dearly. I just wish I didn't have to be frail like they are, it causes worthless heartache, which could lead to me losing my godlike status over my humans. Thinking about my mortality made my chest ache harder. I wanted to cry hysterically, I felt so terrible physically. I felt sick, too. I pathetically surrendered, and let the tears fall fast and hard, hot on my already burning skin, not bothering to stop my choking sobs. I'm so pathetic, disgusting...

"Izaya...?" The tentative voice of Shinra broke the silence for me, and I looked up in a panic, hoping he wouldn't see my tears and red face.

"A-ah, hello Shinra.. And Shizu-chan.." My tone changed to reflect a bit of my spite and hatred towards the brute as I spoke his usually hated nickname.

"You're crying. Did that housekeeper say something bitchy again?" The brute joked, a gentle, scarily non threatening smile on his face.

"No. Leave, please. You want what's best for your friend, don't you?" I smiled at the two of them.

"Izaya, you shouldn't be alone, it's not good for you while you're like this." Shinra said quickly, getting a glare from me.

"We should give him some space, at least until tomorrow, Shinra." Shizu-chan sighed.

"Thank you.." I murmured instinctively. Shinra nodded a bit in agreement, and he and Shizu-chan exited the room. I sighed bitterly, and slumped back in bed, falling asleep quickly after all that crying.

When I woke up, the nurse, Akame, was standing in the room with my third disgusting meal of the day. She seemed to be holding something else too, but I couldn't see well enough yet to tell what.

"Eat your food, then we can get your bandages changed and check up on those poor, cut up arms of yours." She spoke all too sweetly, and it made me cringe.

"Of course.." I sighed, and started to eat, yet again shoving the unpalatable food into my mouth quickly. As soon as I finished, she took the tray, and calmly came up to me holding bandages.

"Do they hurt?" She asked gently as she unwrapped the dirty bandages covering my arms.

"I've had worse." I scoffed, and rolled my eyes. She examined my wounds calmly, before washing the damaged skin, and wrapping my pale arms in fresh bandages.

"You need your rest, Mr. Orihara, I'll leave now." She smiled softly, and excused herself, allowing me a chance for a good night's sleep, since visiting hours were over a while ago. I settled down into the bed, starting to grow accustomed to it, despite the wretched smell of disinfectant that hung in the air. I slowly fell asleep for what felt like the millionth time today, finally the tiniest bit relaxed.

"Rise and shine, Mr. Orihara~" Came the chirpy voice of the nurse from the doorway. There she was, holding breakfast. I managed to mostly stomach the meal this time, perhaps it had gotten better? Maybe I just resigned myself to it, to make this meal and lunch more palatable. "You're actually being let out this morning, Mr. Orihara, isn't that nice?" She smiled sweetly as she took my empty tray. I nodded, my attention focused on the flowers, which had new, clean water in their vases. "I'll go get you your clothes, we can't have you leaving in a hospital gown~" She giggled at her own joke, and left the room. With a great sigh, I got out of bed, slowly stretching and walking over to the window, staring out at my city below, and the cherry blossoms in full bloom.

"I can't wait to be out of here, it'll be much easier to find out how to get back to my Ikebukuro once I do." I smirked down at my humans below me, my mood drastically improved from yesterday's.

"I have your clothes, Mr. Orihara, I'll leave them here, just get dressed and come into the hallway, I'll bring you downstairs, Miss Yagiri is waiting in the lobby to take you back to your home."

"Ah, thank you." I smiled, walking to the bed to pick up my clothes, slowly stripping out of the hospital gown, and pulling on my thankfully familiar clothes. Good to know this parallel version of me has the same taste in clothes. I folded the hospital gown neatly, leaving it on the bed, and exiting the room. Akame calmly escorted me downstairs, where, sure enough, Namie, and my sisters, were waiting. Namie held a bag in one hand, presumably the medication the nurse told me about.

"Ah, hello you three." I smirked, feeling a bit more like my normal self now that I had my clothes.

"Come on, the car is outside." Namie left the building, Mairu and Kururi tailing her, and me following. I suppose she already checked me out of the hospital. I got into the car with the three of them, and after a bit of driving, we reached my familiar apartment complex in Shinjuku. What wasn't so familiar, was the differing furnishings of my familiar apartment. It was still very much modern, but my computers weren't the focus of the main room like they should've been. I suppose this version of me must've taken up a different career, I thought, momentarily baffled by the grand piano that was positioned near the window, glossy and black, shining in the sunlight. I raised an eyebrow, but walked over, and took a seat at the bench, spreading my fingers to survey the keys. Well then, I wonder how I'll do at something I haven't done in years, that this body has been doing for years. I couldn't help but grin at this drastic alteration to my life, as my fingers moved to start hitting the keys.