As Karna walked to the grocery store, Arjuna watched over her in spiritual form and quietly brooded.

The dreams she was giving him were odd to the point of bizarre. Arjuna was having a difficult time making sense of them. The latest dream, in particular, was extremely unsettling.

Karna. Arjuna remembered his brother at the archery competition. So arrogantly coming up to challenge him, a no named charioteer challenging a prince! Now he'd seen it from the other side and Arjuna was almost speechless. He didn't even know my name? What kind of an idiot issued a challenge without first ascertaining the caste and identity of the one being challenged? And his brother had thought he was beautiful? Arjuna wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or throw up at the thought.

Arjuna was tempted to dismiss those dreams as a figment of his Master's imagination, but he couldn't. There was no way she could know what his brothers looked like. The dream had depicted them perfectly, and Duryodhana as well. There could be no doubt that this was a genuine dream of his brother's past, but how?

Then Arjuna remembered. His Master had summoned Karna in the previous Grail War. She must have absorbed his memories at that time and they were coming out in her dreams. Hmm… but that meant the other dreams, the ones of a ghostly boy in India, had to be Karna was well. Arjuna found that deeply unsettling, although he preferred it to thinking his Master had suffered such hardship.

That meant the other set of dreams, the one of a child and his – her? – father had to be his Master's past. A great fire had wiped away her family, leaving her an orphan and she had been adopted by a man who proved to be very sick. He had died but left her with the family home and presumably enough money to buy the restaurant, after she graduated. Arjuna remembered dreams of helping out around the school, cleaning and fixing things out for no reason but charity. Ah, it made sense that such a person would summon his brother.

That thought left a foul taste in Arjuna's mouth because he did not want to imagine his Master and his brother fighting together. This was… his place. Not his brothers'. When they returned home, Arjuna went to his room to meditate on it, hoping to find serenity and clarity.

As he meditated, peace came and with it, reflection.

Why does it bother me to imagine Karna with my Master? They would seem so right together. Arjuna could easily picture them standing side by side, Karna radiating pure ferocity and the female Karna wearing a sari, her red eyes calm yet resolved. And yet… That is my place. It did not seem right that Karna should be standing beside anyone but him.

As Arjuna meditated, he realized the reason for that reaction. He desired her. It was as simple as that. Karna was a beautiful and intriguing woman. But did Arjuna want to act on that? There were difficulties. The first was the length of time he had available. Grail Wars typically concluded within a month. It wasn't much time to court a woman. It wasn't much time to be with a woman and Arjuna felt a great sadness at the thought. And yet, he'd been given a brief chance at life. Should he not grasp what he could while he was here?

Then Karna was in the doorway and Arjuna could not help but gaze at her with longing for a moment. The simple brown and grey yukata she was wearing made her look almost like a doll, delicate and graceful. Arjuna quickly shook the feeling away and accepted her invitation to breakfast.

If Arjuna was going to act on his attraction, he would have to think further about what he should do.

Later the same day.

Karna frowned to himself as he walked down the street, Arjuna following along in an incorporeal state.

"This is so difficult," Karna muttered, cursing the renovators. They were supposed to be able to handle the Curry house without him. But now they'd had to make some substitutions and Karna had to approve the changes.

Master, we are being followed, Arjuna said and Karna's day got just a little more wonderful. Tensing slightly, he readied himself to trace his naginata. It's the boy, Naoya. What?!

"Are you joking?" Karna breathed. He couldn't sense the child because Naoya had no spiritual pressure whatsoever. "…Just let him follow for now." Perhaps Naoya had some business at the Curry house. It seemed unlikely but you never knew.

Yes Master. Arjuna's reply felt accepting and Karna thought he felt this was the course of wisdom. It was hard to see how they could shoo Naoya away without causing a scene. And even if they succeeded in getting rid of him it might fixate the teenager's attentions on Karna more firmly.

They arrived at the Curry House and as Karna went over the proposed changes with the foreman, he worried at the problem in the back of his mind. This was the worst possible timing for Karna to pick up a teenager stalker. Any Master with a shred of honor would leave him alone, but some of them wouldn't have a shred of honor. Worse yet, targeting the family of a Master was not actually against the rules and Naoya could be loosely interpreted as Karna's family, particularly if he kept sticking his nose in. Then there was the danger the boy would see something he shouldn't and be put down by a magus following the rules. All the possible dangers made Karna's head hurt. He had to get rid of Naoya, but how?

"Arjuna… no," Karna mumbled and felt more than heard Arjuna's soft sigh. Then his Servant spoke.

I will meet you outside Master, and escort you in a very flamboyant manner. Perhaps seeing that you definitely have another interest, one he cannot compete with, will deter him. Cannot compete with?

I'm afraid you underestimate the density of a lovestruck fourteen year old boy, Karna thought in amusement. Even if Naoya knew Arjuna was a prince, would he care? Probably not. But it is definitely worth a try. I'll tell you when I'm leaving.

From there, it went without a hitch. Arjuna materialized in a nearby alleyway and met Karna in front of the shop, offering him an arm with a smile. Karna took it with an amused smile, rather enjoying the moment, even if it was for Naoya's benefit. Arjuna was in his full Servant costume and looked marvellously striking. If Naoya had the brains of a goldfish, he would realize he was outclassed in this battle.

He is glaring at us. I do not think it's working, Arjuna's thought was layered with amusement and Karna couldn't really fault him, despite the serious nature of the problem. It WAS absurd.

Idiot boy. I'll ask Rin what she can do. Although they couldn't delete Karna from Naoya's memory so it was hard to say.

The way home from the Curry House took them past several other little restaurants and café's. At one of them, to Karna's shock, a young schoolgirl flung open a door before galloping out and latching onto Arjuna's free arm.

"Oh it's you! It's you! Please, you must come to lunch with us!" Her blue eyes were very large in a thin face and her hair was an appealingly disheveled mop of brown hair, topped with a plaid bow. She was wearing a tight black shirt, showing off her budding cleavage, and a plaid skirt with black tights that led to thigh high leather boots. She couldn't be older than sixteen and Karna had never seen her before in his life.

"I'm sorry, I believe you have mistaken me for someone else," Arjuna said, a chill in his voice as he tried to shake her off. She hung on easily.

"Oh but I haven't! Please Lancer, please come join us!" Karna felt Arjuna freeze and his own eyes widened. Lancer?

"Saber, why in hell did you – oh." Andowyn stood in the doorway of the shop and Karna absently noted that he was dressed down. Blue jeans and a rather tatty white t-shirt, with the red and gold jacket overtop. Still quite beautiful, but unfastened and more casual. Karna could really see the appeal, he was a handsome man.

"Please, come for lunch! My Master will pay for everything, won't he?" Saber said and Karna could tell Arjuna was aching to punch her. Karna gently restrained him before giving the other Servant a gentle smile.

"That would be much appreciated, if you don't mind?" Karna said to Andowyn, who looked at them like they were insane. Arjuna was hiding his reaction well, but Karna could tell he was taken aback by her ready acceptance.

"…Sure, why not," Andowyn finally said, reaching up to rub his forehead as if he had a headache. Saber squealed and bounced before dragging Arjuna after her. Karna followed, amused and most interested.

Karna? Arjuna questioned and as they took a seat in a booth towards the back, Karna gave him a quick explanation.

The surest way to betray yourself is simply to talk. A lesson Karna had learned when alive. This is an opportunity to learn more about Saber. And since they already know your identity, we have nothing to betray. There was no way for this to go wrong for Karna and Arjuna. Andowyn and Saber, on the other hand, had plenty of ways to misstep. As they took a seat and Arjuna mulled it over, Karna glanced around curiously. He'd never been to this particular shop before. It was all wood, with light blue cushions. There was a fireplace in the corner of the room. On looking at the menu, Karna realized the café had a Swiss theme. How interesting!

"Now we have three so we can get the fondue!" Saber clapped 'her' hands together and Karna couldn't hold back a smile. The menu said the minimum for fondue was three.

"As long as it's the cheese fondue. I love cheese," Karna said, his mouth watering a little at the thought. Fondue was something he'd never made. Hmm, perhaps he should look into that?

"You three can have it. I just want a salad," Andowyn said and Karna looked at him with Discernment of the Poor. It was easy enough to see what was troubling him, Karna had seen Rin in this state several times.

"You've badly overstressed your mage circuits. You need to eat," Karna said gently and Andowyn stiffened slightly. "I know you have no appetite but failing to eat will make the recovery take longer." Arjuna and Saber both gave her surprised looks but Karna ignored it, just gazing at Andowyn with gentle concern. His face softened a bit before he sighed.

"I know you're right but I really can't stomach cheese right now, it's too rich. I'll get the shrimp salad, you three can get the fondue," Andowyn said and Karna frowned. Shrimp wasn't filling. "I'll nibble on some of it if I can."

"As you will," Karna acquiesced. It wasn't his place to mother a rival Master in the War, after all. Karna made a mental note to report Andowyn's distress to Rin. He'd hidden it well during the actual battle but supporting Saber at maximum power was obviously a huge strain. Then a waitress, dressed in a frilly white apron, came to take their order. Saber placed it for everyone, adding a bottle of white wine. Andowyn requested chamomile tea. Another sign of how much his stomach was bothering him.

There wasn't a silence because as Karna had hoped, Saber just had to fill it.

"Do you like my boots?" Saber stretched out a foot towards her and Karna glanced down. The leather did look extremely supple and the boots had large pearls on the heel, a golden zipper and a red ribbon on the front. From the ribbon hung a monogram. Two G's? Karna hoped that had some meaning. "It's Gucci! I mean, not really, that would be silly but it's a faithful reproduction!"

"Oh. That monogram is the Gucci label?" Karna asked, concealing his disappointment. Saber dimpled.

"Exactly! By the way, I love your dress. You are absolutely gorgeous," Saber complimented him and Karna could sense no falsehood. "That's a sari isn't it? I'm not very familiar with the cultures that wear that."

"Saber…" Andowyn's voice was a complaining growl but Saber turned a brilliant smile on him.

"Andy, don't be a grouch!" From the look on his face, Andowyn didn't appreciate that nickname. Karna was finding this valuable already, there was clearly some trouble between Master and Servant here. "So I'm told you're Arjuna from the Mahabharata, a Hindu epic. I googled it and my gosh it was a read! I'm guessing you have a scorched earth type – " Saber stopped abruptly as the waitress brought them the tea and wine. She poured the wine for them, allowing Andowyn to try it first and he smiled, saying it was fine. Then she took their order, fondue for three and a shrimp salad. As soon as she walked away, Saber started without pause. "Scorched earth type noble phantasm with a wide area. Correct?"

"…Correct." Arjuna said in a rather cold tone and Karna sighed internally. Saber squealed and clapped her hands together.

"Omigosh cool! I've got something similar! We'll have to show each other sometime!" …Gah. Andowyn shook his head.

"Saber. That is the only power you can reveal to them," Andowyn said firmly and Saber pouted but nodded. Then he looked at her and Karna met his eyes. They were dark and serious. "That power is of limited use because Saber has an exaggerated sense of fair play. He won't use it on an unworthy opponent unless I use a command seal and then he's sworn to – "

"Go passive aggressive on your arse," Saber completed happily and Andowyn sighed. "But don't worry Master! I have solemnly sworn to help you fuck up ALL the bitches!" Karna blinked and heard Arjuna choke, softly. "We will tea bag everyone!"

"Saber! Tea bagging is absolutely forbidden," Andowyn growled and Saber looked downcast. "I keep telling you it's impossible anyway, Servants vanish after they die."

Master, what does tea bagging mean? Arjuna asked and Karna didn't have a clue. Fishing in his purse, he found his cell phone and turned it on, googling the term. Simple English Wikipedia? Wait… what…

"You want to defile our corpses?" Karna asked, cushioned by disbelief. Arjuna's eyes widened and she handed him the cell phone. As he read the definition, his brows went down and his lips tightened.

"Hey, it's traditional! It's – oh, food!" The fondue was ready and it looked delicious. Despite the rather disgusting topic, Karna still had an appetite and took one of the skewers readily. Conversation went by the wayside as they sampled the melted cheese, dipping little pieces of bread and meat in it. Mmm, it was good. Arjuna was surprised but pleased by the taste and Saber seemed to be in heaven, half-closing her eyes in delight. As he ate, though, Karna was still thinking. Traditional?

Tea bagging in popular culture, Karna tapped into his cell phone as he drank some wine. One particular line immediately caught his attention. Although considered to be bad sportsmanship, its use has become widespread in video game culture. Now that was interesting. The Grail War had just started, it was too soon for Saber to have been inducted into video game culture. Karna went back to the fondue, certain they had confirmed that Saber was a future spirit.

"How is Rin doing?" Andowyn asked as he picked at his food. He really wasn't feeling well and Karna frowned at the sight.

"Eat the shrimp at least… and she is doing well. She is very happy to have her Archer returned to her," Karna said and saw anguish flash through Andowyn's eyes. Karna gentled his tone. "Can you not be happy for her?" Their eyes met before Andowyn looked away.

"…I don't know what I'm doing this for anymore," he said in a low tone and Karna's heart went out to him. Karna could see Andowyn really had loved Rin. The emotion was fraying now, leaving behind desolation and doubt. "I thought I could prove to her but… seeing them together… how can I compete with that?" Karna would have smiled if the situation wasn't so serious. Archer's appearance was making Andowyn feel inferior? Amusing.

"His appearance is only part of what Rin loves about him," Karna said calmly and Andowyn sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Here, try a bit of the bread." Bread could be easy on the stomach. Andowyn took a piece, without any of the cheese, and ate slowly.

"Right, buck up Master! You'll find someone someday!" Saber said encouragingly but Andowyn didn't even glance in her direction.

"What would you know about it?" he asked in a dull tone and Saber stopped with a piece of bread almost to her mouth, frowning at her Master.

"Master, I am hurt. I am really, truly hurt by that," Saber said and Karna could tell she really was hurt and offended by Andowyn's remark.

"Oh really? You're capable of that?" Andowyn said, fishing another piece of shrimp out of his salad. Saber's eyes narrowed and Karna felt Arjuna go still beside him as an air of sheer pissiness rose from the other Servant.

"Yes, actually, I am." Saber's tone was chilly but Andowyn didn't seem to feel her cold stare, gazing into his food with a morose air. Saber stared at him for a moment longer before huffing and eating her fondue. She tugged at it with her teeth in a parody of aggressiveness that would have made Karna smile, if not for the temper behind it.

"Well, you've pumped us for enough information. How is your Servant-Master bond forming?" Karna froze at the question, suddenly realizing he'd made a mistake. "Considering the difficulties." Andowyn looked at Arjuna and Karna's mouth went dry. Arjuna frowned at him.

"You think I would be so petty as to hold her name against her?" Arjuna asked and Andowyn blinked, suddenly taken aback. Saber's eating slowed for a moment before resuming with a bit too much gusto.

"I… suppose not," he murmured before glancing at Karna. "I suppose it's not my business." Oh thank the gods. Karna breathed a little easier and quickly changed the subject.

"Where did you get that lovely coat? It's beautiful," Karna said sincerely. He thought it was adorable and wanted one just like it! Andowyn looked surprised, then a bit apologetic.

"Oh… the Tuppeny and Pence thrift store, unfortunately." Oh drat. "I'm told it was actually a marching band uniform. Stupid, I know, but I quite like it." Andowyn ran a hand over the gold frogging with a bit of possessive pride. "It was only a fiver."

"What an amazing deal," Karna said wistfully, wishing he could get something like that. But looking for something like that was like trying to find a unicorn. Gazing over the food, Karna realized they'd done a very good job at demolishing the fondue. Arjuna was looking very content, finishing his last piece of bread and cheese. Andowyn had eaten perhaps half of his salad and some of the bread, which wasn't too bad really. "Well, we should probably be going."

"Mmm. Oh, please tell Rin that I might be open to an alliance with the purpose of destroying Berserker. But not until I've fully recovered." Andowyn smiled, a touch sadly. "And not unless pretty ladies start disappearing around the town." …Which was likely to happen. Karna winced at the thought.

"We might take you up on that. Thank you for the lunch!" Karna waved as they left and Saber waved back, cute as a button. Karna really wondered who Saber could be. Did he even have a real appearance? A shape shifting, future Heroic Spirit who liked to tea bag enemies. Amusing if it wasn't so dangerous.

"He's following us again," Arjuna murmured, laughter hiding in his voice. Karna hissed a soft curse but then blinked as Arjuna rested a hand on his lower back. "I have a plan, Master. Let's go home." A plan?

You aren't going to tell me what it is? A smile and a headshake was the only reply. Karna schooled himself to patience.

When they reached the Emiya residence, Arjuna put his plan into effect.

"…?" Karna was caught by surprise when Arjuna slid his arms around her, turning her and gazing passionately into her face. The warmth in his eyes seemed so real and it made Karna's breath come short. He gently touched her cheek, tilting her head and then kissed her passionately. "…!" Karna was not expecting that but found herself responding easily. The kiss was so tender yet intimate and Arjuna's lips felt so good against hers. Karna melted into it, giving herself wholly to the pleasure of the moment.

Then they parted, to Karna's disappointment. But Arjuna's smile, full of heat yet also amusement, almost made up for it. Then he murmured in her ear.

"I will leave as if I am going home, then come back." Oh right, Naoya. Karna had almost forgotten about the teenage stalker. Feeling like he had to be blushing, Karna watched Arjuna go, feeling a wistful longing. Was it wrong that he so wanted this to be real? Going inside the Emiya residence, Karna blinked as he realized something. For that moment when Arjuna had kissed him? Her? Karna had felt like a real woman.

It was a good feeling.