This bonus chapter was made to celebrate the fact that summer Jeanne joined my Chaldea and that Siegfried got summer costume at last (he's yelling: 'MEGANEKIRAAAN!" now, which makes "Crystallized Wisdom" canon, don't You think? XD).

Guest starring: have fun guessing!


Summer Bonus: Dancing With Dolphins, Singing With Whales

"Can you hear it?" - Jeanne asked with a smile. "They're singing."


Siegfried glanced nervously at the surroundings. The airport was small and somehow messy, like the ones you can see in some old Hollywood movies. Some weird individuals were hanging around as well, and he wasn't happy that Jeanne is waiting for him alone.

His mobile phone couldn't catch a signal, so he was now clinging to a lone phone box in the middle of nowhere. He was too tall to get inside, so he got stuck in a weird position, partially kneeling and partially hanging on the kiosk.

"Are you sure everything is ok?" – he asked again, pressing the receiver closer to ear. It was useless, though, with smaller planes landing and starting literally meters from this place.

"Sure." Sakura's voice was barely recognizable through the noises, both of defective phone and the commotion on the other side of the line. Children seemed to be excited about something and the dog kept barking like crazy. "You have nothing to worry about. We're all having a lot of fun here. Right now Shirou is entertaining the kids, doing tricks and such. He befriended that ginger mare you're so proud of."

"I thought that Shirou cannot ride a horse?"

"Sure he can't." Sakura chuckled, then burst out laughing, after a loud 'thump' in the background. It was definitely sound of Shirou's falling off a horse. "Calm down, Siegfried, we won't devastate your house. Well, even if something is destroyed, we'll fix it before your return. So relax, take care of your wife, have fun you both deserved!"

"But…"

"Siegfried, you're truly hopeless!" Sakura laughed at him again and the former Rider sighed painfully, realizing she's right. They haven't been on vacation since that memorable trip to Paris, and later, when children were born, it got even worse. "You know, usually mothers are much worried than fathers, you must be a rare exception. I'm glad Jeanne can switch completely into vacation mode, but if your mental health is the price for her relax, I don't think it's a harmonious relationship. I mean: it's fine that you care, but such behavior may ruin everything. By the way, she's never visited a tropical island before, am I right?"

"Ah, yes…" Again, Sakura was right. Jeanne clearly deserved a break, and he was too selfish to think how she may feel with him panicking all the time… Sakura was not only a good friend – she was a real treasure. "Have I thanked you already for staying on the farm?"

"Multiple times."

"Thank you again then. And bye, have fun!" He ended the call, ready to face this unexpected vacation.

It was a surprise, really, like a lottery win. In short: little Gil, who was now an owner of many luxury hotels, called them one day and invited everyone to a tropical island. He said that the annual Cosplay Festival has been cancelled in the last moment, so he has empty rooms anyway and would gladly reunite with his old friends...

Sakura and Shirou gladly took their kids to France to take care of the farm and Siegfried's children – for them it was even better than tropical holidays. Rin and Archer should already be here, but unexpected storm made them stuck on an airport in the middle of nowhere. Scáthach and her pupils should arrive tomorrow, and Arturia's gang should join them soon after. So it was only Jeanne and Siegfried, at least until tomorrow morning…

"Or not," Siegfried growled, feeling sudden wave of irritation. He almost knocked the phone box over and went back to his wife, like a dragon ready to defend its territory.


"You are very nice, gentlemen, but…"

Jeanne could only watch helplessly as two handsome men – a tall blond and a charming dark-haired guy with a characteristic mole – insisted on helping her with the baggage.

"We just couldn't stand and watch how such a charming lady is left without help. Don't worry, we will call a taxi for you."

"But I…"

"It's nothing, really. The only thing we desire in exchange is to show you around and take you out to dinner. You will accept our invitation, won't you?"

"Excuse me, but this lady already has plans for the evening."

"Huh?" Both men looked at a tall stranger in suit and classy glasses, who surrounded the girl's waist with his strong arm. From the possessive way of making this gesture – and a sparkling wedding ring on the guy's finger – they concluded that this battle is already lost.

"Come, friend." The one with a mole was first to retreat and put the suitcase down. "I can smell roasted salmon from the bar on the beach. This is the only prey you'll catch today."

"Oh, come on, I haven't even started…"

Siegfried watched them walking away for a while, before he noticed that Jeanne is staring at him.

"What?" – he asked, not sure what this strange look means.

"Nothing." Jeanne smiled mysteriously, teasing Siegfried with a tip of her golden braid. "I think I already like this vacation."

"Good. Let's go to the hotel first. We should be back on time to see the fireworks."


Soon they found themselves on the way to the beach. The island was small but unexpectedly crowded. It seemed than not only tourists, but also some weird locals decided to join the fun. Those two girls, for example: the taller one was dressed like a pirate, and the smaller one wore… a beach bunny costume? Siegfried really didn't know what to think about it.

"They don't know that the Cosplay Festival has been cancelled or the island's been taken over by a pirate fleet?"

"No idea," Jeanne said cheerfully, twirling between the stalls. Everything here was new to her and she clearly was having fun.

"Hope they won't keep us hostages here."

"I have nothing against it… for a while." Jeanne winked. "Let's eat first. Over there, I can see a free table."

Siegfried nodded and followed his wife, who's already sat in the corner with a menu in her hand. He was about to take a seat, when a crazy surfer, who looked almost like a tanned Arturia, passed him by with speed inappropriate for wading through the crowd. Her surfboard accidentally hit Siegfried in the back of his head. He lost balance and bumped into a lemonade machine, splashing the liquid around.

"Sorry! I'm terribly sorry... That's E-rank Luck for you." He sighed and helped to fix the stall, ignoring the fact that he's completely wet and smells like citrons. "I think I should go back to the hotel and get changed…"

"Sure!" Jeanne, smiling widely, gave him a portion of shaved ice. "Don't worry, I'm so hungry I probably won't be leaving this place for at least an hour, ha, ha, ha!"

"A-aaah." Siegfried gulped painfully, seeing how the waiters set the plates with local specialties on her table. Thinking of the cost of such fancy dinner, he almost spilled the ice on his own head. Since he was already wet… "Have fun. I'll be back soon."

"M-mmmm," replied Jeanne with her mouth already full of juicy seafood. "Mmmmullbemmmmiting!"


"May I offer you a drink?"

Jeanne looked at the strange girl with a bowl of weird-smelling alcohol in both hands. Her eyes were hypnotizing and voice sweet. Two horns emerging from her forehead (it was a costume, right?) made her even more charming than expected.

"I don't think it's…"

"I won't take 'no' for an answer, dear." The demonic lady came closer and almost whispered to Jeanne's ear: "It's a magical drink, you know. And I will tell you a secret of this island if you drink it with me."

"Why would you? Why me?"

"Because it will make me very, very happy." She narrowed her eyes, which made her look like a hunting predator. "And because you're so cute that I do love just looking at your face... it makes me want to debone you, melt you down in alcohol and drink you all up... Now don't be shy, drink!"

Jeanne wasn't sure it's a good idea, but the afternoon – almost night, actually – was so beautiful and the drink smelled so sweet… She drank it to the last drop.

"Whoa, so tasty!" Suddenly millions of stars twirled in Jeanne's head and the world seemed filled with amazing colors and smells. It must have been a very strong alcohol, but the demonic lady didn't look drunk at all.

"Fufufufu, I told you it's a magical drink, dear. Now the secret: there's a hidden wild beach nearby. You should go there before the fireworks start, you won't regret it."

"But my husband…"

"Don't worry, he'll find you. I'll make sure of it. Now go, it is time."

"T-thank you." Jeanne stood up and, a bit unsteadily but with admirable enthusiasm, which can be only observed in drunk people, went to find that secret place.


"And then the girl found a mysterious artifact among the seaweed – a wooden mask from the deepest pits of hell, that turned her into a siren. She was forced to stay underwater for all eternity, dancing only with dolphins, singing only with whales..."

"This is pretentious. Let's try to use some local legends… The girl was called to the shore not without reason. The underwater folk, the immortal clan of white whales, had chosen her to become their queen, the Whale Rider!"

"I think you don't get the true meaning of this legend, William. Replace whales with an octopus and you'll get a perfect material for a hentai movie."

"And I think you drink too much, Hans. The heat is evidently not good for your brain."

A creepy chuckle interrupted the quarrel of two self-proclaimed storytellers.

"Here's the true story: the white whale turn out to be a vengeful spirit in disguise. He waited, waited patiently in the deep, blue ocean, planning his revenge. And when he finally emerged from the waters, the giant wave killed everyone: the girl, her family and friends, the entire island…"

"Dammit, Edmond, you're on vacation! Could you at least TRY to relax?!"

"Excuse me!" A man with long, almost silver hair interrupted their chatter. He was clearly looking for someone in panic. "Have you seen my wife? Golden braid, blue eyes, eating shrimps?"

"Sure. She went that way."

"Thank you!"

And he disappeared in the bushes as suddenly as he showed up.


None of those fantastic stories happened in a distant wild beach, but the truth was almost as crazy as the three drunk tourists predicted. Siegfried couldn't believe his own eyes when he finally found Jeanne. She was playing cheerfully in the ocean with… dolphins?

"Are you all right?" He was standing at the edge of the water, with waves slowly destroying his boots, and clearly didn't know what to do.

"Why you even ask?!" Jeanne laughed at loud when one particularly cheerful dolphin darted under her arm, like a well-trained dog. "Won't you join me, dear?" When Siegfried hesitantly took a single step forward, she sighed. "Oh come on! Take this off!" Jeanne accusingly raised an eyebrow. "Wait! You intended to visit the casino?"

"Yes…?" Siegfried suddenly felt guilty, even though it was only a point on his 'want to try before death' list. "But this seems far more entertaining than any casino."

"Truly, isn't it?" Jeanne laughed again, caressing the soft skin of a dolphin. The alcohol must have been still in effect, because she already forgot why she should be angry at her husband. "Come here, quickly. I think they want to show us something."

Siegfried wasn't so sure about it, but he decided that it's better to accompany Jeanne in the water. The dolphins surrounded him as well, kept poking him with their wet noses and squeaking enthusiastically. Then one of them rolled over, inviting Siegfried… to grab its dorsal fin?

"What are you waiting for?" Jeanne smiled and clung to 'her' dolphin. She looked like a siren in her natural habitat.

Feeling like an idiot, who got stuck in a crazy dream, Siegfried hesitantly did what she'd asked for.

"Ok. Now what?"

The dolphins suddenly started swimming into the open sea, farther and farther from the shore. Jeanne felt no fear or doubt, she was just having fun. And Siegfried…

He knew that it's dangerous, that they may never be able to return. But the speed and recklessness of this situation awakened something deep inside his heart. The sensation of wind in his hair and water on his skin… It was almost like back then, when he took his horse and went straight to the cave…

How utterly stupid he had been in his previous life!

The dolphins stopped on the edge of the bay, clearly waiting for something. The silence was hard to bear, but Jeanne and Siegfried did not dare to disturb it. Soon they understood it was the right choice.

Swiftly, as if its body weighed nothing, the giant humpback whale emerged from the sea just few meters from their observatory point. With loud splashes another one followed the leader. And another. And another. The entire group presented itself in all its glory.

"They're beautiful," Jeanne whispered, captivated by this amazing spectacle of nature.

"They are," Siegfried admitted, this time honestly, almost passionately. "Is this a white calf over there?"

"Yes, it is!" She chuckled. "White whales were once sacred, you know? It will bring you luck."

"Hmm."

"Can you hear it?" - Jeanne asked with a smile. "They're singing."

Indeed, it was the famous whale song, that inspired sailors and artists for ages. And then, as if on a mysterious signal, the awaited fireworks lightened up the sky near the beach, painting it with sparkling colors.

All of this – the ocean, its inhabitants, and the fireworks – made Siegfried's heart burning with joy.

"This is just… Wow!" Finally his eyes were shining again.

"Good to have you back," Jeanne said suddenly, sneaking into his arms.

"Huh?"

"I missed you, Siegfried. I missed your old self. That 'reckless adventurer', as you used to call it. You've changed, were worried all the time. So I pretended to be a silly girl, thinking, that it may encourage you to…" She sighed and kissed him. "Just know you don't need to be always so serious. I will love you anyway, even if you do something utterly stupid from time to time."

"And I will love you even if you're drunk, silly or when you eat too much seafood."

Their laughter drown in the voice of the ocean, melted and disappeared completely, devoured by the song of whales.


"You two look awful." Scáthach winced. She was as gorgeous as ever, in her pink costume and with a big exotic flower in her hair. How it was even possible after a long flight from Ireland, huh? "Maybe this 'luxury hotel' is not as luxurious as it should be, hmmm?"

"Should we go back then?" Cú Chulainn, in his favorite Hawaiian shirt, carefully looked around.

"Not before I'm fed," Arturia protested and threatened Siegfried with a water pistol. "So, what were you doing here all this time without us?"

"You won't believe us anyway." Siegfried adjusted his glasses, smiling mysteriously. Jeanne clung to his arm like an additional limb. They were like lovebirds, now even more than short after their wedding. Pale, tired and a bit wasted, but also happier than ever.

"Oh, come on! Better share the story before Rin arrives. It will be great to tease her that she doesn't know the details! So, what were you doing?"

"Dancing with dolphins, singing with whales."