A/N: You have no idea how long I've wanted to start this fic for ! Like since the beginning of March ! Anyways, I will give a full intro next chapter. Other than that, not much to say here. Enjoy.

The ship churned violently in the storm. Badr heard thunder in the distance, growling hungrily. Han Guan was huddled in the corner, whimpering like a frightened pup. Li II was cackling at the wolverine's discomfort. The Thing stood still on one leg, it's creepy painted grin nearly washed off completely. Badr rubbed the pellet that held the Deathworm affectionately. This was all that was left of Chang Shuimian's great promise.

Badr Tamod was a shadow of his former self. As thin as a twig, his fur was matted and dirty, his eyes were still an emerald green, but there was a certain oldness that was creeping slowly into them. His teeth were missing or yellow, and his clothes were as clean as a latrine. He wore a black cloak over an old and rusting plate of once-golden armour that now showed it's true, coppery colours. His pants were also plain black. He sat hunched, his claws outstretched, slowly dragging them across his now best friend and greatest weapon.

His companions were similarly disheveled.

Two of them had died, another had never been alive.

Han Guan had once been the shame of his clan. He had come to the House of Tamod to try and regain some honour...his dream had shattered in his face when the Thing had punctured his heart and killed him. Then Chang Shuimian had come along and brought the putrid thing back to life. In life Han Guan had been annoying, now he was intolerable. He spoke in a lighter Japanese accent, but put an honorific after every noun. He spoke faster then rain could fall, and his voice had somehow gotten higher in pitch.

His fur was still the same light brown, but his attire had changed somewhat. Death had also made him like the colour red...for reasons. He now covered his paws with bright red bandages, and wore a bright red rice hat. He went shirtless, and had a scar on his belly where the Thing had killed him before. He also wore a small bright red neckerchief and dark blue pants. Right now he was whimpering at the thunder and biting at the small remnants of his once foot-long claws.

Li II was also a ghost of his former self, and was barely recognizable. He had once been the identical duplicate of his creator and 'twin' Li I. Now however he couldn't be more different. Eyes that had once shone reflectively, were now pure balls of black anger. His fur had once been light brown, but was now a ghostly white. He wore a large black jumper that fit him like a robe.

Now as the thunder crackled outside the relative safety of the shaking ship Badr admired his last, more useful and not breathing companion.

The Thing was a large wooden line, built thinly, but with a certain sharpness to it. It's mane was made of sharp planks of wood, it's arms were tipped with three long sharp claws. The Thing had also been manufactured a bit further. Both it's feet now were made of katanas, which extended after the lion's knee. It had once been an arena puppet of innumerable bright colours, but in order to hide the fact that it was not a living thing, Badr had wrapped it in the garb of a ninja, and painted it's wooden features black. It also had one other modification. It had once had a plain face, with a painted grin, now Badr had incorporated a working jaw, so that the Thing could open and close it's mouth.

It was a super weapon. Due to a mix of one of Duyao's stronger poisons it had gained a twisted mind of it's own. Thankfully however it was still loyal to Badr. It could feel no pain. It obeyed orders. It could kill, as Han Guan was so painfully aware of. It didn't need food or water. It was perfect. But Badr had no idea how to replicate Duyao's potion, not for want of trying. He was a dead man as far as most people were concerned, and dead men had time to tinker. He had created several more puppets of death, but none of them were as effective as the Thing.

As Badr basked in the awe of his creation he couldn't help but let his lips curl at the sight of his other, miserable companions. Li II was not as strong as the Thing, or effective. Han Guan was neither that, nor as loyal. He had lost all his previous memories, but deep down they were still somewhere in his heart, and the wolverine's heart made him hesitate for far too long. Still, he was hopeful of the mission's success.

He would find the one that had wronged him, and in Japan find favor amongst the Daimyos. Once he had built himself an army he would return to China, and reign pain down upon those who had caused him so much pain. And on the way he would tick two names off his list... And when revenge was done and dusted and his army had found their victory, he would settle for no less than China. The Daimyos could have the rest.

He smiled at the thought, but that was not the task at hand. "Don't worry Safi, I will not let your death go by unavenged." He murmured to himself as teh storm outside continued to shake the ship and the sea.

Li I rubbed his tired eyes and stifled a yawn. It had taken him three hours to write a letter he could barely read. Still he was satisfied with the result.

It read:

Dear Jiao'ao,

I hope this letter reaches you...it would be awkward if you're not Lord La's son...But I did do my research, so I think you are.
As you probably guessed upon receiving the letter I woke up. The comma was...well I don't remember any of it XD. (XD btw, is my way of trying to show you what my mood is while I write the words down, it's like a laughing face.)

It's odd though, I woke up surrounded by a lot of angry looking rhinos, who asked me what I was doing there. I explained my commatose position and then asked them what they were doing here. Apparently I slept through the capture of the villainous Gutou Daisui (in case you didn't know he's some sort of assassin) and he assassinated Badr Tamod. 0.0 (That by the way is my shocked face and shows that I was very surprised by this). If only I had woken up earlier...I could have stopped it !

Anyways, after they realized (it took them long enough) that I was not involved in the murder they let me go with all of my belongings. You know Shifty left a note saying goodbye to me ? Do you have his address or something so I can write to him as well ? And if not could you try and get someone who does to send him a message that I woke up ? Please ? Thank you.

Anyways, I visited Han's and Li II's and Wugu's graves, and I was so pissed. Someone broke into Li II's and Han's graves ! If I ever find them I'll beat them bloody !

...I was also very sad that Wugu and Han died. Honestly I still think about them. It's hard, but I don't ever want to forget my friends! Especially... Those guys...

You might be wondering why this letter's from Japan...well you remember how I entered the tournament to try and find my father...well I have reasons to believe that he is here in Japan ! So I bought the next ticket here, and am now continuing my expedition.

I hope things are going well with you.

Love, Li I

(Not the gay love by the way, just the friend sorta thing.)

(I'm not gay.)

Li I sighed, sealed the letter and posted it, before crossing the rode to the nearest inn.

His fur was completely soaked by the time he opened the door. The light brown of it had been rained down upon by a storm of immense power that seemed to rage through the whole of Japan all at once. His robe was also soaked, but still shone. It was an odd piece of clothing, bright yellow with small bubbles of red, green and blue sown in. He walked over to the counter, where he hopped onto a stool and stared up at the large bovine in charge of the empty place.

"Um, hello ? Do you speak Chinese ?"

The bovine looked down at him for a moment. "What do you want rabbit-kun ?" He said in an accent so strong Li I had barely understood it.

"I need a room to wait out the storm."

"You share, and pay double. I'm all full."

Li I blinked. "That's not fair !" He said hotly.

"Is best deal ! If you no want, then get back in rain." The bovine pointed out the window.

Li I sighed. "Fine."

The bovine nodded and handed him a spare key to room five. Still slightly livid, but containing his rage Li I hopped off the stool and proceeded to try and find the room. He stifled a yawn. He wouldn't have any money left if the storm continued at this rate.

"Mrs Yang Li's not sharing !"

"Yeah, he's being selfish again !" The children complained to the old sheep, who sighed and got to her feet.

"Li, how many times have I told you to share the dominoes ? They want it too. "

The kit looked up at the sheep from behind a pile of dominoes. "They can play with something else, right now I'm going to make a tower so big that when I stand on top of it, my daddy will come back !"

Mrs Yang sighed again, exasperated. "Li, your father will come-"

"Li, you really shouldn't waste your time. Your daddy ain't coming back. For all you know he's dead."

The light brown rabbit glared at the larger albino rabbit. "My daddy's not dead. If he knew I was here he'd come immediately !"

Lee, the albino bunny, pushed over one domino, which slammed into the other ones, and brought Li's great tower tumbling to the ground. "Whoops, now he'll never come for you."

Mrs Yang gasped. "Lee, that was very mean of you ! That tower took a lot of time and-"

Li however had already pounced on the other rabbit, so that they were now neck and neck, Li shaking his small fluffy fist in front of Lee's face. "You take that back !"

"Never !" Lee replied.

The two rabbits were suddenly rolling over each other, trying and failing to hurt there opponent and cause lasting damage.

The old sheep pulled the two of them apart roughly, and held them both away at arm's length.

Li however was still livid enough to continue fighting. His strong feet kicked the air as he thrashed every which way to try and get back at the albino bunny.

"You're just jealous that my dad can come back !"

Lee's eye twitched as well, and the rabbit started thrashing as well. "Come here and say that to my face you punk !"

"Jerk !"

"ENOUGH !" Mrs Yangs said, shaking them into submission. "Both of you go to your rooms now !"

She put them down and they turned away from each other, muttering evil thoughts about the other.

Footnote: Not much for a first chapter, eh ? This story is going to be a real slow starter. Not much action (but a good amount later on ) and mostly humour for the first few parts. I decided it would be a good balance for my tournament fic...you'll see why later on.

Anyways Han Guan is alive XD. Yeah, but he's not quite his old self. You guys are probably wondering why I decided not to drop that in as a bombshell...well I'm gonna try and do things very differently in this story. Like really differently. The focus is on comedy (for once) but it's still a serious fic (hence the T rating).

Anyways that's it for now, any questions, please ask.

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