Joe notices something odd about Barry since he returned from Flashpoint. He barely says a word, he never smiles, he barely eats, and he doesn't let anyone in. One thing is constant, though. Barry keeps a journal.

Joe sneaks into Barry's room when he knows that he was sleeping, and he takes the journal from under the bed. After that, he drives to Star Labs. Once he gets there, he walks inside.

"Joe, have you heard from Barry? He hasn't been to his job, or here in about a week, and I'm starting to worry about him." Caitlin asks.

"No, but I took his journal. I think we should read it." Joe informs, placing it on the table.

"Who wants to read it?" Iris asks.

"I'll read it." Cisco states, opening the journal.

"I've had nightmares for as long as I could remember. There wasn't one day where I wasn't waking myself up in the middle of the night, screaming the terrors in my head that haunt me in my sleep. At first it was the image of my mother, then it was Patty, then it was all the people I had failed to save, then it was Iris. You never really get used to nightmares, but when you have them as frequently as I do, you expect it. You wait for the images that haunt your mind, reminding you of what you're worried about again, and again, and again. Did you know that the longest record that a human had been awake for is eleven days? I wonder what that record would have been if the guy had been a speedster? Sometimes I wish I were still trapped in the speed force, at least there I didn't have anything to worry about." Cisco reads.

"Okay, continue." Joe orders.

"Hello does anyone hear me

I'm falling into myself

Losing grip on reality

I drift alone

Drifting

I am drifting

Can anyone hear me?

I am alone

Your voice in my head

Pretending

Acting

Lying

I began to run

Aimlessly

For eternity

"Come back"

You plead

I walk away

Aimlessly wandering

For eternity

You offer your hand

Calling to me

Begging me

To return

I walk away

Running after shadows

Wandering an empty realm

For eternity

I catch the shadow

After running for eternity

"Come back"

You plead

Finally

I return

Leaving Eternity

Behind" Cisco continues.

"Okay, continue." Joe orders.

"The thing about time travel is, you always think that your reasons for it are admirable. I'm saving a life, it's a good reason you tell yourself, but are those reasons really admirable? The thing about time travel is, time is able to be manipulated. You know you shouldn't deviate from the timeline, but you were saving a life here, surely that was an okay reason for time travel? The thing about time travel is, the least little deviation can lead to a cataclysm, taking you, and the entire world with it.

The thing about time travel is, you find yourself living in this new timeline, and you start to wonder if you should go back. You spend months being happy, because you deserve to be happy, damn it!

The thing about time travel is, new timelines can fry a brain. The thing about time travel is, you think your intentions are good, but you quickly find out that time wants to happen, and that all of this was for nothing.

Looking at your happy place for the last time, you longingly gaze at the timeline, because you know that you can't stay in this timeline any longer. You try to fix the timeline, but you only end up breaking it again, and you're frustrated. You start wishing that you were dead…" Cisco stops reading immediately at that sentence. He wishes he was dead? Oh Barry.

"I can take over, if you want." Caitlin offers, and that's when Cisco slides her the journal.

"You start wishing that you were dead, because it was your fault in the first place that the timeline was broken. You try to reach out to the person that used to be your friend, but they told you that this was your fault, and they push you away. So, you give them space, and you stop letting people in. You do this to avoid making the same mistake twice, and they don't even seem to notice that you're hurting too." Caitlin continues, and that's when Cisco curls into a ball.

"You end up getting hurt, and that makes you want to cry out for the person that used to be your friend, but then you remember that the person had hurt you, so you stay there writhing in agony, calling out to no one. Eventually, you pass out from the pain, and you're waking up in the place that was once home to you, and immediately you feel hollow. Your body aches again, and you intentionally start putting yourself in danger. Maybe this time, it'll actually kill you, and all of this can just go away." Caitlin continues. Jesus Christ, I'm a piece of shit. Cisco scolds himself.

"It's a tempting thought, the thought of dying.

What good was my life, versus the lives of so many people?

Everything I touch, I break. Everything I touch, dies, and for once, I can be next. I can die." Caitlin continues.

"Cisco, if you're reading this then I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I break everything that I touch. I'm sorry that I can't do anything right. I'm sorry that I got Dante killed, but most of all, I'm sorry that I gave up." When Cisco hears his name, he looks up.

"Do me a favor? Please don't try to stop me. Please just forget about me. Please don't try to save me.

I don't want to live anymore, and this way, you can have your vengeance." Caitlin reads, and that's when Cisco gets up, breaking everything in the room.

"Cisco, stop!" Joe calls, and that's when he runs over to him, holding him as tight as he could before he hurts himself.