THE BARBECUE

Charles rolled inside his flat, - he was still living in the same one, only now Erik had taken over every little free surface, had put his clothes on half of the wardrobe and scattered his own, tv-shows themed mugs through it - and banged the door rather loudly.

He had had a lunch date with Raven that day and something she had said was still nagging at the back of his mind. He was furious at his boyfriend and he wanted to get things out in the clear as quick as possible. As sweet and attentive as Erik was, he could be rather thick in noticing when Charles was upset, so he had learned to kick up a fuss and just show it outright, without playing around the subject.

He got rid of his bag, throwing it on the couch and then started removing his fingerless gloves and the blanket on top of his legs since the flat was warm. Erik must have turned the temperature up when he came home from his work and even if it warmed Charles' heart, he didn't let himself be melted by the gesture.

It didn't take long for the tall, gorgeous man to come over to the living room, a breathtaking smile taking over his face upon seeing Charles even after all those years. "Hey, Schatz", he said sweetly and walked over, bending low to press a welcoming kiss to Charles' lips, but Charles turned his head on the last second and didn't answer him.

Erik's arms flexed in tension, palms leaning against the wheelchair "Is there something wrong?", he asked pulling away a little, to look at Charles' face. Locking eyes with him, Charles answered in a flat tone "Raven told me the most interesting thing at lunch today", he started, raising his eyebrows and daring Erik not to take this seriously. But he knew, his boyfriend took every little thing even too seriously when it came to his feelings, and that shouldn't be so adorable when Charles was angry, but well…

"Why do I feel like it's a bad thing?", Erik asked rhetorically and straightened up to walk towards the couch and sit there. Charles rolled closer to him and snorted at the man's comment before continuing. "She told me about a barbecue this weekend. Does that ring a bell?", he asked, wanting Erik to get to the conclusion himself, that guilty little man.

"What? Barbe-", he started asking and then cut himself off, eyes going out of focus as he remembered something, face turning into guilt. He knew why Charles was angry and he had known all along that if Charles found out, he wouldn't be happy about it.

"Four years, Erik!", he said a little louder, losing his calm "We've been dating for four years and you never told me!" - "Charles, honey-" - "Don't 'honey' me! How could you not tell me there was an office barbecue every freaking year? Don't you want to be seen with me by your colleagues? Are you ashamed of me?", he shouted, feeling frustrated. He had been over and over this all day long and had already made up this whole reason why Erik had never told him or taken him to the events.

He wasn't naive to think his boyfriend was ashamed of the wheelchair, no. Erik had already proven time and again it wasn't something that bothered him, - he had even taken an year course about massage that could make things better for Charles - so it only meant there was something else. It was just… who Charles was.

He also didn't want to entertain the thought Erik could be cheating on him with someone from the building because his heart told him that wasn't possible, that his Erik would never do such thing. So that left Erik being ashamed of him.

They stared at each other for a long moment, Charles angry and Erik seeming lost. But at some point, his boyfriend scooted closer to the edge of the couch and reached out between them, putting his hand on top of Charles' and sighing. Charles didn't move away because the touch was soft and loving and God, he just couldn't stay mad too long when it came to Erik. Now, he was mostly upset and curious as to why.

"Charles, schatz… You're so wrong it's not even funny! The reason I haven't told you about the barbecues is because I hate them, I've never gone to any of them and I knew if I told you, you'd insist on us going", he explained, but it didn't make things better at all.

"If you knew I'd want it, then why avoid it? Just say it, Erik. You don't want to be seen with me", he accused, but now his tone was tired. Erik's eyes turned surprisingly harsh and he squeezed Charles' hand almost to a painful grip. "I don't want to be seen with you? Then what have I been doing for the past four years, hm? I always encourage you to go out! I'm proud to be by your side and I can't believe you'd think otherwise. Charles, I love you", Erik answered exasperated.

They were both silent afterwards and Charles felt slightly bad for accusing Erik like that, when he knew it was unfair to say the other man was ashamed of him. He just couldn't think of any other plausible explanation for it all.

"Love, I'm not ashamed of you. But when it comes to my colleagues, I'm ashamed of myself. I've told you I'm not seen as a nice man at work and I don't want you to see me like that too. I'll probably spoil their fun if I show up at the barbecue… they all hate me there and I don't want them to feel the same way about you because you're with me! I don't want you to feel how much they don't like me. You do remember I made people cry, right?", Erik made his little speech.

Charles did remember his boyfriend made others cry, but it was nice that it was in the past now and he hadn't done it in years, not ever since Charles had told him to stop it at once and explained to him why it was something so bad.

Charles sighed and turned his hand so his palm was upwards and he linked his fingers with Erik's. "That's a stupid reason", he mumbled embarrassed and not wanting to admit he had been silly to accuse his boyfriend.

"Not as stupid as thinking I'm ashamed of you, Charles. What the hell? Haven't I showed you by now how I feel?", he asked very softly and Charles looked up at him with a small, guilty smile. "I'm sorry. I know it was unreasonable of me, I was just… annoyed I didn't know of it and had to pretend I did".

"I should have told you, schatz. I'm sorry too", Erik said and patted Charles' knee with his free hand. He didn't feel it but it was still reassuring and it made the smile on his face widen, thinking of the first time Erik had touched his legs, fours years ago while inside a pool.

"It's alright. I shouldn't have freaked", Charles said and let go of Erik's hold to put both his hands around his boyfriend's neck, leaning closer to him. Charles kissed Erik gently, making a smack sound when they pulled away and lingered close to each other.

"I need to think of what to wear on the barbecue. I would love shorts, but…", he trailed off and shrugged, being too self conscious about his body. Erik tensed and frowned before asking "What makes you think we're going?", not seeming very excited about. "Oh, c'mon! Please? I just want to meet your friends!", Charles put on his best puppy eyes.

"You know Emma and Azazel!" - "But I want to know everyone else!" - "I'm not even friends with them!" - "Erik, pleeease. Pretty please? I want to go and it would make me so happy if we did", he said and started massaging Erik's tense shoulders.

"I'll reward you so good when we come back", he promised, hoping that would convince his boyfriend.

He watched as Erik seemed to consider it and even felt slightly bad for forcing his boyfriend into something he clearly didn't want. All these years together, Erik had adapted to Charles so very well, had bent to every will without snapping. It was awful of Charles to be so pushy and not consider the fact his boyfriend didn't want to go, but… He truly wanted to go out with Erik, try the barbecue, meet the people the other man saw everyday. He wanted to be part of that world too, he wanted to know everything Erik knew.

"Does it really mean that much to you?", his boyfriend whispered and Charles smiled, knowing he had already won. "Yes", he murmured gently, rolling as close as his wheelchair allowed him and trailing his hands up to frame Erik's face, pulling him in for a soft kiss, their lips gently touching before they parted to gaze into each other's eyes.

"Fine. But don't say I didn't tell you so", Erik relented with a grunt, seeming unhappy about it. Charles on the other hand, squealed like a child on christmas and smacked another kiss into Erik's lips, before aiming for his boyfriend's pants and starting to unzip him.

"What are you doing?", Erik mumbled against him and Charles grinned "Gonna make you feel good too", he said in a low murmur, the one he knew brought shivers down Erik's spine. "That can't be a comfortable position", the other one said, making Charles roll his eyes internally at how worried Erik always was "Let me worry about that", he countered and bent down, in order to take the other man's cock inside his mouth, suckling on it until he felt the flesh harden between his moist lips.

Erik was all quiet moans and endearing words this time. Sometimes he was loud shouts and curses and Charles loved both moods wholeheartedly, appreciating them to the fullest. Their sex life was a bless he thought he would never have again after his accident, but truth be told his orgasms were just as powerful as before even if slower to achieve. Mostly, the sex was even better because of their feelings for each other.

On sunday, Charles was actually nervous about the whole thing. He asked himself over and over again if it was a good idea to show up, seeing that Erik didn't look happy at all when they started getting dressed, but at the end he opted for not changing his mind.

He got dressed up nicely, wearing the shorts Erik had bought him two years ago and he had never even used before. He was not comfortable showing his useless, pale, soft legs to the world, but Erik seemed to worship them like every other inch of his body and he had wanted Charles to learn to do that as well. It had taken him this long to try the shorts out, but he hoped it would get his boyfriend in a better mood to see that he was giving in a little as well.

"They look good on you", Erik smiled when he saw what Charles was wearing, and it made him feel slightly better. "You think so?", he asked to make sure and Erik nodded, stepping closer and bending lower to kiss Charles' forehead "I do. I can see you're making an effort for me, so thank you", he said gently, causing Charles' heart to do dangerous flips inside his chest.

When they entered the car, Charles was on the passenger seat while Erik drove. He loved watching his boyfriend's long fingers wrapped around the wheel or on the gear stick, loved to watch how focused he was while driving. They only owned one car and it was adapted to Charles' injury, meaning Erik had to get another driver's license and learn how to use this car so that Charles could drive when needed as well.

That thought made him feel like a total ass. He was forcing Erik into something he was obviously uncomfortable with when the other man had given up so much for him! He couldn't let go of one stupid barbecue, had freaked out over it after four years of pure commitment and love from his boyfriend. What was Erik, amazing, beautiful, caring, Erik doing with him after all?

That thought dampened his feelings considerably and when they parked the car, he held Erik's hand, in order to stop him from leaving. The other one turned to him and just stared, giving Charles time to gather his thoughts and voice what was on his mind.

"Do you want to leave? We can have lunch somewhere nice together and go back home", he offered then, meeting eyes with his boyfriend. "What?", Erik asked with a frown on his face. "I'm sorry I forced you to come, Erik. I'm already happy we came at all, we don't need to go into the actual barbecue", Charles said what was on his mind and his boyfriend offered him a small smile, coming closer and placing a kiss on Charles' cheek.

"Are you actually considering how I feel about this?", Erik teased as if it was an impossible thought, but that only made Charles' heart clench inside his chest. He was a bastard, wasn't he? Pushing and pushing, not giving in to Erik when he knew it would make him happy.

"Hey, what is it? Why are you looking like someone kicked your puppy?", Erik asked, angling his body towards him and squeezing Charles' hand back. "Erik, do I make you happy?", he asked even if he knew this was an inappropriate place or time to have this conversation, but it had built up during the week and he couldn't help but let it out at that moment.

"Honey, why would you ever question that?", he asked back, looking concerned. "I just.. seem to convince you to everything you don't want to do and never give you anything back", he said, his eyes burning with tears.

"Charles… this is the most silly thing you've ever said. And you talk quite a lot", Erik said and lifted his free hand to clean a tear on the corner of his eye. "Of course you make me happy, do you think I would spend four miserable years with you?", he inquired and Charles shook his head, knowing it sounded more than silly.

"Yes, you push me to do a lot but… I like seeing your smile. It doesn't matter how I feel when I see that I made you happy, that I have the power to make you shine so bright. That's all I worry about" - "No, how you feel matters, Erik. It does to me", he protested.

"I never doubted that, schatz. You're kind and you treat me good, I love you so much", Erik said gently, coming closer and kissing Charles' lips. "Now, give me a smile and let's go ruin the barbecue for these people. I'll actually take pleasure from that", he said lightly then and Charles shook his head.

"Are you sure? We can still leave", he tried again but Erik just waved it off "And lose the opportunity of you wearing the shorts I got you? Never", he said and pulled away. Charles knew, that conversation was probably not over yet, but as he had thought before, it really wasn't the right time or place.

They had separated for a moment, in order for Charles to get them hot dogs while Erik grabbed two sodas. None of them was going to drink, seeing that one had to drive and the other wasn't going to get tipsy alone.

Walking into the barbecue, - or rather rolling - had been quite weird. Everyone stared at them with wide eyes as if they didn't believe who they were seeing there. Erik's hand had been on Charles' shoulder as always and it had squeezed him there, as if trying to get some strength to get through this lunch. He did his best not to feel guilty about it.

They had looked at each other and decided to grab food, parting with a small kiss on the temple from Erik. Now, Charles was putting their hot dogs on a plate while grabbing grapes with his free hand, trying to balance everything on his lap.

"Have you seen Lehnsherr?", he suddenly heard from the group of men on his right. "Yeah, can't believe he showed up! He's never been to one of the barbecues before", the second man answered and Charles' interest picked up so he lingered on the table, not caring he looked stupid just being there doing nothing.

"I heard he brought his boyfriend", the third one provided which got a gasp from the first, followed by "Lehnsherr's gay?", and "He's got a boyfriend?", from the other two, as if he they could never believe what they heard.

"Yes and yes", the third one agreed. "Oh my god! Who would ever want to date him? I mean, he's gotten better on the last few years, but.. the man looks like he's going to eat you alive when he smiles!", first man said. "Does he even smile, though?", the second one asked and Charles felt immediately bad.

Erik was being bullied. This was total workplace bullying and his boyfriend did not deserve it! He was a perfect gentleman, he was kind, funny, beautiful and gentle! This was why Erik had avoided coming, he didn't want Charles to hear what people said about him, probably didn't want to know himself how the rumours were like, and they were so very unfair!

The three laughed because of the smiling joke and afterwards, the second guy asked "Hey, I can't imagine someone would want to sleep with him!" - "I know, the man is scary!", the first one agreed but Charles couldn't hear anymore of it without interrupting.

"Actually… he is quite the tender lover. Very gentle and considerate, it's not easy finding a man who cares about your pleasure just as much as his", he said, wanting to set things straight for Erik. "Also, I bet if you did your work properly, he wouldn't be so scary", he defended his boyfriend, knowing he had to somehow pay him back for all those years only giving in to Charles' desires.

The three man immediately turned towards him, with wide eyes. He smiled slyly at them and introduced himself "Charles Xavier, Erik's boyfriend". The men started stuttering and scrambling for words, apologising since they probably didn't want their gossip to get to their scary boss' ear.

"Don't apologise", Charles raised a hand "I would like to hear more, go on. What else do you have to say about Erik? I would love to set it straight. Or perhaps you have any questions about him? I'd rather answer them than have you gossiping about what you don't know", he offered and the men looked at each other.

Turns out, they did have a lot of questions. And Charles answered each one of them.

"He has never raised his voice at me". "No, he's not violent". "He actually likes flowers, I always bring him lilies". "He likes cooking for me". "We watch romantic comedies together". "He doesn't have guns in the house". "He isn't a supervillain". "We've been together for four years". "I love him more than anything".

He would have even answered more, if it weren't for Erik's arrival. The men were quick to scatter and Charles smiled up brightly at his boyfriend. "What were you talking about?", Erik asked with suspicion and Charles shook his head "They were being nice, don't worry, love", he answered.

Then, they rolled towards an emptier place, Charles still balancing the plates on his thighs while Erik carried the drinks, once there, he held the plates and said "Grab my blanket, will you?", to which Erik frowned but did as he was told.

"Now, put it on the ground", he commanded and after Erik was done, he smiled coyly "Can you put me down?", he asked, knowing it was very unusual of him to ask to be carried in such a public place, where everyone would watch it for sure, but he wanted everyone to see how loving and caring Erik was, so if he had to sacrifice a little of his pride for it, he would.

"Are you sure?", his boyfriend checked and after Charles nodded, he placed the food on the ground and came closer, putting his arm underneath Charles' knees and the other one around his shoulder, both being quite used to this by now.

He was gently lowered to the ground and then adjusted his legs to the position he wanted them to be in, smiling at Erik. His boyfriend sat next to him and Charles pulled him in for a sweet kiss, loving how the other man seemed to forget about the others while they were together.

They ate while chatting to each other about this and that, Charles threw some grapes into Erik's mouth, letting them hit the man's nose and fall to his lap and kissed him more than once, to show everyone how very much he loved that man.

At some point, Raven arrived as well and joined them, followed by Emma and Azazel, they all occupying the small blanket and laughing with each other.

Despite his initial fear, he was quite happy he had made them come and he could see that Erik was enjoying himself after all. Charles was proud and content when they made their way home.

He ended up making sweet love to Erik in the afternoon, his boyfriend riding him in a lazy rhythm, making it last forever and Charles feel like they were only one. They rested their sweaty bodies next to each other and made silly conversation staring up at the ceiling.

"Is this enough to show you how happy you make me?", Erik murmured gently, coming closer and tracing Charles' shoulder with the tip of his nose, his scrub scratching Charles' skin and making him shiver. "I think another round will be enough to prove it", he said feeling adventurous. He couldn't get hard himself for a second round so soon, so he grabbed the pill from the drawer on the nightstand and swallowed it down when Erik came back with a glass of water.

"I love you, Erik", he breathed into his boyfriend's mouth when he was coming for the second time, who in return groaned and grabbed Charles' hips tighter saying the words back to him like a prayer.

The next day, he rolled inside his flat and removed his fingerless gloves, tossing them on the couch and rolling himself further in, going to look for Erik in their room. Oddly, his boyfriend was not there yet even if he came earlier than Charles, but perhaps, this was one of those days when he was late at work.

Charles went ahead and called for takeout, hoping Erik and the pizza would get there together and then put on a movie on their dvd player, planning on curling up on the couch with the other man and falling asleep with his head on his chest.

But when Erik came home, his expression was a completely unhappy one and Charles immediately worried something bad had happened, his smile falling off of his face. "Hey, what happened?", he asked going towards Erik, who shot him an almost hateful glare, making his heart clench.

"Erik?", he pressed, not bearing to not know what was going on. Erik shed his jacket and pulled up the sleeves of his shirt, revealing those strong arms, which he crossed in front of his chest. "Would you care to tell me exactly what you babbled about with my coworkers?", he finally asked, voice cold.

"What are you talking about? You mean those men I was talking to on the barbecue?", he inquired and instead of answering, Erik merely lifted an eyebrow. "I… They were… saying some things that were not true and I set them straight", he explained almost weakly, wondering if he had made a mistake. Erik was rarely mad at him so even after four years, he didn't know how to deal with it when his boyfriend was the angry, disappointed one.

"Did you by any chance tell them I'm a romantic clown who makes tender love to you and then go smelling my lilies before cooking for you?", Erik asked, anger dripping from each word. "I.. no! That's not how I said it, Erik" - "Oh, really? Because people from the office seem to be under the impression I'm your loving wife", Erik snapped and started walking then, pacing from one side to the other.

Charles winced at that, having not ever heard that tone of voice being directed to him. That was how he knew, he had fucked up royally.

"Erik, sweetie, they were saying things that were so wrong and far from the truth! I just wanted to make them see you're not the monster they think you are!" - "Did you stop to think of what I wanted?", Erik accused, which brought Charles back to his previous fear of not thinking of Erik's feelings and what he wished.

"Did you think perhaps I like that they don't know who I am? I don't care about those people, Charles! If they fear me, they make their jobs well! They don't bother me!", he said angrily and Charles bit down on his bottom lip.

"Please calm down, Erik", he said in a lower voice and tried rolling a little closer, but Erik's glare stopped him in place. "I'm so sorry, love. That's not what I meant at all, I just wanted them to see what I see! To know the man I love so much! It wasn't fair to me that they were talking about you like that, that person isn't you at all", he tried apologising but he could see that at that point, Erik wasn't listening to reason.

The doorbell rang then and they both stopped, looking at the door. "I ordered pizza", Charles explained but it was like another cold bucket of water, seeing that he had ordered his favorite flavor instead of Erik's for a change.

His boyfriend walked right past him then, going towards their room while Charles rolled to the door and opened up, paying the man and taking the pizza to their kitchen, placing it on the table. At least, he thought, Erik had come home to work this out.

"Erik? Please come eat", he called out and went back to the living room, just in time to see Erik throwing his pillow there and a blanket they kept on their wardrobe. "What are you doing?", Charles asked in a low tone, and Erik answered without looking back at him "I'm sleeping here tonight".

Charles sighed, his chest aching terribly and asked "Will you please come eat? We can talk more about this, I'm truly sorry", trying once more to regain control, to install peace. He didn't like being in a fight with Erik and it was especially hard when the other man was the one holding a grudge.

"I'm not hungry", Erik murmured and Charles mourned the fact he couldn't even say it was Erik's favorite flavor to see if it convinced him to come and try eating. He went back to the kitchen and opened the box, getting a slice for himself, feeling incredibly sad and alone there. He was only able to swallow half of the piece down before he dropped it on his plate and gave up, his stomach not accepting anything else.

When he rolled back to the living room, Erik was lying down, just staring at the ceiling. Charles parked carefully next to him and reached out, putting his hand on Erik's shoulder, bending a little lower so that his chin could rest on the other man's chest.

"Please don't be like this. Don't leave me alone in the bed, hm. We'll fix this, I don't want you to be mad at me", he tried in a small voice, feeling so very terrible. Erik's day must have been hellish with his co workers making inappropriate comments and talking on his back.

They all sounded like children to Charles, so very immature! He had wanted them to see Erik was a good man, not for them to grow strong with that knowledge and think Erik was weak, think they could push him and not get punished in return.

"Too late for that", Erik said sarcastically. Charles' eyes filled with tears and he looked up, but Erik's eyes wouldn't meet his and he missed the warmth he always saw in them. It had never been this bad before.

"Erik-" - "I need space!", the other one snapped. The tears slipped out and Charles swallowed down a pained whimper. There was a heavy question in the air and he knew, he had to give the right answer. 'Can't you give me even that?'.

"Alright. Ok. Just… come to me when you want to talk. I love you, you know that, right?", he inquired but knew there would be no reply. He kissed the damp spot on Erik's shirt, wetted by his tear and pulled away, retreating to their room.

They had already slept separate like this before. But it always happened differently; Charles would throw a tantrum and leave the room, declaring he would sleep on the couch. Then, Erik would always convince him to take the bed instead, because it wasn't good for his back to spend the whole night on the couch. It usually melted him to the point he would get up one or two hours later, begging his boyfriend to just come to bed and hold him.

But this time, Erik had taken the step to sleep separately and it hurt Charles so very much. He wondered if it had always felt this lonely for the other man when he did that and he regretted those times, even if he knew he would probably do it again.

Charles didn't manage to sleep at all and before the sun came out, he left the room as silently as he could. Erik's eyes were closed and he was lying on his side, foot sticking out from under the blanket and neck bent in a way that seemed painful. He wanted to tell his boyfriend to go to bed, but he was sure that if he woke Erik now he wouldn't go back to sleep and would walk around like a zombie for the rest of the day.

He decided to cook breakfast, something he did everyday for them, and did this whole banquet with Erik's favorite foods, hoping that it would melt his boyfriend a little. He must have been noisier than he thought because even before the alarm clock went off, Erik dragged his feet inside the kitchen.

"Good morning", Charles said almost carefully and watched as Erik sat down, probably starving since the pizza was still whole inside their oven. "Morning", Erik answered without as much as their usual kiss and started pouring himself coffee.

"How did you sleep?", Charles asked, trying desperately to make conversation. "Fine", Erik shrugged but didn't ask the same thing back. Charles sighed and took his place across from his boyfriend, serving himself some pancakes. "Would you like to talk now?", he asked, because he wasn't about to let the bad mood hang over their heads, they'd better get it over with soon.

"I have nothing else to say", Erik commented, to which Charles narrowed his eyes "You obviously do, Erik. Please, let's try to make this better. I've apologised and I'll do it again if you want me to. I didn't meant for that to happen and you know it", he tried. "I know", Erik nodded and relief coursed through Charles' veins, but it was brief "Doesn't make me less angry", he completed, making Charles' heart sink to the ground.

"What can I do, Erik? Tell me, I'll do anything", he asked, wanting to know what was the key to defuse this bomb and just go back to what they were. "Nothing. As I said, I just need some space right now to cool off", his boyfriend answered and finished his coffee, pushing the chair back and standing up, without eating.

"Where are you going? You haven't eaten yet", he protested but Erik just shook his head "Not hungry right now", he said shortly and walked out the kitchen, going to the bathroom. Charles heard the water running and then Erik going through their wardrobe to get his clothes, but he was unable to move away from the table, just staring at all the food he had cooked.

It was only when he heard Erik shuffling through the living room that he got a grip on himself and grabbed a tupperware, filling it with food and putting a note on the inside, that read:

I'm truly sorry.

Have a nice day, my love.

Then, he went to Erik just in time to catch him before he left and stretched his arm to offer it. He bit on his bottom lip and looked at his boyfriend nervously, hoping to not be rejected.

Erik, thankfully, grabbed the tupperware and murmured a "Thanks", before leaving. It was only then, that the alarm clock beeped in their room. It was hurting him to think Erik was in such a rush to leave the house that morning.

Charles convinced himself that things would get better soon. Three days later, he wasn't so sure anymore. On the second morning, Erik had been better to deal with, but when he came back from work his mood was sour again and he went back to barely speaking to Charles and sleeping on the couch.

The routine was still the same; there was hope in the morning when they sat to eat together but that was completely crushed in the night when Erik came back from work, probably having been teased by the colleagues, which reminded him of how very mad he was at Charles.

Two days later, Charles was on the edge. His feelings were all mixed up together and he felt like he was going to die out of heartbreak, - a little dramatic, he knew, but Erik was his safe haven and their fights had never lasted longer than three days, tops. He was desperate and quite honestly up to doing anything Erik wanted from him.

He didn't go to work that friday, being too nervous about the whole thing. Erik hadn't touched him in five days, had barely greeted him or said goodbye, wasn't sleeping on their bed. He was feeling like this was the beginning of the end and he was not in the mood of going to work and breaking down in front of his students.

Five days after the barbecue and the gossip was finally starting to quiet down. Erik was the proud owner of a new record; four interns crying in five days. He wasn't even ashamed.

Those interns had made a shitty job and when he called them out on it, their comments had varied from "Relax, lover boy", to "I'll call Charles and we can settle this", so he had obviously lashed out to each one of them, showing them their places again.

It had taken five days, but peace, was finally restored. He didn't think people would ever look at him in the same way again, having seen how soft he was towards his boyfriend and knowing first hand how tender and caring he could be, but he had shown he could still be scary if needed and they were back to their places.

Things at home, though, weren't the same. Somehow, the easy forgiveness he always had for Charles wasn't showing up and he was with so much anger on his chest, that he could barely look at the other man. He knew, Charles hadn't done it on purpose, hadn't thought bad of it or even imagined that Erik's co-workers could react like that, but he thought Charles should have known better than to spill the juicy details.

He was a reserved man, and he thought that after four years his boyfriend would have noticed that Erik didn't open up to just anyone. In fact, he only ever opened up to Charles. He barely even talked to his mother about his feelings! And then Charles had gone and betrayed him, telling people about his secrets like that could be some sort of magical solution to a problem that didn't even exist.

It made him angry that Charles was doing his usual meddling, that he was taking control over that and trying to make it work the way he wanted it to. It wasn't surprising that his boyfriend was a bit of a control freak and Erik could even understand where it came from, but he had actually thought… he thought Charles would be considerate of his feelings, would know how he would feel about people knowing those intimate things about him. Apparently not.

When he reached home, he was still sulking on all those bad feelings, but something distracted him as soon as he stepped inside. Usually, he would get home before Charles but apparently that wasn't the case when he heard a sound coming from his bedroom. He approached it against his better judgment that was trying to remind him he was still angry, because he couldn't just hear Charles crying and not do anything about it. He did love that man with his whole heart after all.

He pushed the door open slowly and saw his boyfriend lying in bed, curled up on his side, eyes squeezed shut as he sobbed almost quietly. Erik's heart ached and he felt like a total ass not for the first time on those five days, but now it was worse because Charles was crying alone in bed and Erik had done that to him.

Erik stepped closer tentatively and when he was in front of Charles, his boyfriend's eyes snapped open. They stared at each other for what felt like forever but then the other man merely closed his eyes again and kept on crying.

He knew then, that he couldn't go on like this anymore, no matter how angry he was. So he sat on the bed and put a hand on Charles' hair, carding his fingers through it. The sob that escaped the man's throat was pained and loud, and Erik felt like crying himself even if he rarely did so.

"We should talk", he said gently, fighting off his own tears. It took a moment, but then Charles nodded weakly and let out a small "Okay".

He opened his eyes again and sat up in bed, trying to clean his face. Then, he looked at Erik with fear and just waited, the silence almost deafening.

When Erik spoke, his voice as a little shaky "I'm so angry, Charles", he started, watching the other man's expression crumble down. "I thought you knew me, you knew I'm a private person and don't open up to others. And instead, you thought you knew better and went on telling my colleagues all those intimate things! Things I only showed you", he said, the words almost freeing him after so long inside.

"Oh Erik", Charles sobbed, his whole body shaking. "I do know you. I do. I know I hurt you, I betrayed your trust but… I was only trying to h-help", he said miserably and Erik couldn't help but reach out and put a hand on Charles' calf. His boyfriend looked at it, acknowledging the touch even if he couldn't feel it.

"I know, Charles, but you had been so worried inside the car that you never think of me, that you don't respect me but still you went and did that", he said, trying not to sound so accusing, but he was just so tired after the long days at work and terrible nights at the couch, he just wanted to get his conversation over with and go back to normal. He was done being angry. He couldn't make Charles cry like that and not get over whatever it was that was keeping him away from his lover.

"I k-know", Charles nodded "God, Erik! I don't understand why you're still here, I… I'm terrible to you and you're just… If you leave, I… I won't hold it against you, it would make sense, you know, more sense than you staying with someone like me", his boyfriend said, still crying and Erik's heart broke in a thousand pieces.

It was terribly sad and also irritating that Charles would still think like that after four years, but maybe he was only having one of those doubt moments. Erik rather hoped this wasn't how Charles thought all the time.

He had changed so much after they met in the resort, had become more confident and stopped hating himself like that. Charles would go out without freaking out now and he would even talk to friends he used to have before the accident without feeling so self conscious. But sometimes, that little part of him showed again, so very insecure and scared. That was when Erik's role started.

He scooted closer and grabbed Charles' hands on his own, cradling them "Listen to me, Charles. I'm angry. You screwed up. Doesn't change the fact I love you", he explained, not even knowing he needed to reassure Charles about that. If he knew, he would have done it earlier.

His boyfriend shook his head, but Erik was having none of it. "I'm not walking away because of a silly fight. This is silly! I don't know why I'm so mad over it, because it's so stupid! I'm not walking away from you because of it, there is so little you could do that would make me leave you", he said and brought Charles' hands to his mouth, kissing them over and over again.

"I just… I have been the worst boyfriend", Charles said sounding like a small child. "You have been the best boyfriend, Charles. You prepare lunch for me to take to work. You always leave notes on the mirror when I'm on the shower. You take care of me when I'm sick. You sing for me when I can't sleep. You hold my hand when I'm scared. You leave the newspaper open on my favorite section. You buy things I run out of even without me noticing they are over. You prove your love to me everyday with little and big things, you make me so happy", he said and just like that, his anger dissipated completely. All he had just said was true and he shouldn't let an accident tear them apart like that.

"What do I have to do to show you that, hm?", he asked still speaking against Charles' hand "How can I prove to you that I'm not leaving you when things get rough?", his question was now mostly rhetorical because Erik had the answer.

"Marry me", he blurted out and Charles' eyes snapped up round and surprised. "W-What?", he stuttered, red mouth falling open in shock. "Marry me", Erik repeated "Because even when I'm angry at you, I still love you. I'm not going to bail on you and this is how committed I am, I want a lifetime with you. I want all of this, the fight, the making up, the day by day. Marry me and I'll spend the rest of our lives showing you that I love you even when I want to scream at you for being so adorably clueless", he finished his speech and he was actually smiling. He should have done this such a long time ago, but somehow, he had never gotten around to.

Perhaps it was because he already knew he and Charles were meant to be together, that they were never separating, that he had not taken the final step. To him, it was just a formality. But at that moment it was an important one, to show Charles how serious he was.

Charles had absolutely no words and he just kept staring at Erik. Had he just… proposed? While they were in the middle of a fight, while he was sleeping on the couch for five days in a row already?

He had been so unprepared for this that it rendered him speechless. Not in a bad way, but in a very good one.

Erik was unbelievable. Unbelievably perfect! That brilliant man sitting there and holding Charles' hands was so absolutely in love that it shone in his eyes even after four years and Charles could see it there.

Even while he was hurt and angry, he still wanted to marry Charles because he knew, they were going to fix whatever this was and anything that came afterwards, he knew, they were going to be together forever and he wasn't afraid to show it.

It suddenly seemed so very silly that he had ever been worried Erik wanted to leave him, that they wouldn't get over their stupid fight no matter what he did. Because he was in love with Erik and he wouldn't have gone down without kicking up a fuss and his boyfriend was just as smitten as he was, so really, there had been no different ending for their fight. Sure, maybe they could have made peace without a proposal but… Erik would end up proposing at some point anyways and it would all lead to one future. And it was a happy one.

And really, there was just one thing he could say to the question. So he threw himself at Erik and hugged him tight, bringing him closer to his body, his brain going crazy but one thought standing out 'he's not ever leaving'.

"I'm still hurt", Erik mumbled against his shoulder and Charles laughed lively, feeling happy and complete. "It doesn't matter, my love. I'll fix it. I'll spend my whole life fixing it whenever I screw up. Because I will, you know. Screw it up again", he said and it was Erik's turn to chuckle "I'll probably do the same", he said and turned his head, placing a kiss to Charles' cheek.

"Is that a yes?", he murmured coyly and Charles nodded so forcefully he almost banged their heads together. "Yes, God yes!", he said and pulled away just enough to press their lips together and start fixing it.