I don't own One-Punch Man

(All of this Belongs to the one and only: ONE)

Chapter 69: The Champion's Super-Amazing-Awesome-Ultra-Penta-Giga-Killimanjaro-Nuclear-(F.U.)-Mega-Super Harem Scene!1!

A Champion's Challenge

Inside Saitama's Apartment Room...

Libido

Something that Saitama had kept under control for ages, dating all the way back to his early years of loneliness, where the only thing that kept him company was his loyal cactus. Being a simple man, he would relieve himself whenever his urges got the better of him, but as soon as he picked up Genos as a disciple, he hardly ever found the time to even think about a dirty thought, let alone do the deed. And for the most part, his life onwards wasn't all that affected, considering his new found friends had been an excellent distraction. But recently, being surrounded by beautiful women day-in and day-out was battering on his conscience, making his mind wander on dangerous thoughts. To have a cutie like Tats ride on him every time they see each other was hard enough, let alone her very sister hugging him with those obnoxiously big ASSETS. Ava wasn't helping him either, what with her always holding his hand, sometimes enveloping his entire arm within her chest, making his mind turn to mush. Whatever control Saitama had left in him was being grounded to dust, and he feared that he would have to learn how to father children soon.

Shivering to himself, Saitama could be seen sitting on his couch in the living room, while Bang and Genos were making dinner in the kitchen. King was sitting on the floor in the living room, laughing smugly at Shoten, who was losing badly in a video game they were playing. Shoten sat next to Saitama, his face twisted in anger at King's weird skills at video games, yelling cutely into the air. Saitama's apartment was full of noise tonight, as it was every night, but as of right now, Saitama felt an all too familiar urge slowly creep on him. His mind focusing a bit too closely on how a few women were dressed so scantly today, made him hate his body's growing urge, one that was clouding his judgement more and more.

"Why the hell were those girls dressed so enticing today?! Tats was rocking that miniskirt, knee-socks outfit so hard, even going as far as riding on me again. Fubuki was killing me with that sleeveless turtleneck, and those skin tight black leggings, and Ava was driving me mad with that stupidly nice looking crop top, and short shorts. I swear, if those girls keep dressing so invitingly, I'm going to invite myself in them, hard..." Saitama said to himself weakly as he finished his inner thought, immediately regretting his own words. These girls were his friends, and yet, he just wanted to plow their fields like a farmer that had a broken down tractor, and that he would have to plow the fields manually. And during that time, it was going to be hard, long, and full of nothing but sweat and satisfaction.

Too disturbed by his own thoughts, Saitama had to retreat back to his own room, asking everyone in his apartment to go home if they could for the night. Although all of them raised an eyebrow at him, they all agreed, and left without any hassle. Although a bit adamant, even Genos agreed, leaving Saitama for Dr. Kurseno for the night. Sighing to himself from relief, Saitama made his way towards his room, when all of sudden, the lights within his apartment shut off. Surrounded by darkness, Saitama cursed to himself, wondering if he paid the electric bill this month. It was also during this time that Saitama felt the presence of three foreign bodies enter his apartment, only making him more confused.

"What the hell is going on here? Genos? King? Bang? Is that you guys? Didn't I tell you to go home already?!" Saitama yelled quietly to the darkness, only to be answered with cute giggling. Just when he was about to piece together what was about to happen, Saitama found himself being tackled onto the floor of the living room by two of the unknown intruders.

"Who knew baldy was such a dummy, right Fubuki?" Tatsumaki said with a cutesy voice, purring lovingly into Saitama's chest. Fubuki could only giggle in response, rubbing her head softly against Saitama's face. Luckily, it was still dark in the room, hiding the rare blush forming on Saitama's face.

"U-Um, what are you girls doing here? Isn't it kinda late for all of you to come here?" Saitama tried saying in a steady voice, although faltering here and there. This made Fubuki and Tatsumaki giggle all the more, pushing themselves deeper into Saitama. The third unknown intruder came from nowhere, lifting Saitama's head off from the floor, and putting it on their lap. Soon, Ava's voice rang throughout the room, only to be answered by soft moaning coming for the other girls rubbing up on Saitama.

"Now Now Saitama, we were just here to do something pleasant for you. Isn't that right ladies?" Ava said with a sultry voice, rubbing Saitama's bald head slowly, making Saitama in turn moan quietly. This made all of the girls smile bigger, knowing that this was going to be a fun night indeed. But before the fun started, Saitama rose off from the floor, almost like a man possessed. This in turn got the girls revved up, but also a little frightened.

"All my life, I've been trying to hold back for every occasion that I've experienced. Whether that be a sport, a reaction to a movie, or a downright fight, I've always tried to hold back everything. But seeing all of you here before me, dressed in nothing but string and lust, I'm only going to give you a warning. Never do this again, because in a just a few seconds, I am going to show all of you single-handedly the consequences of pushing a man on the brink..." Was the only thing Saitama said, before he put on his serious face, all of his clothes that he was wearing evaporating into the air from the sheer pressure he was giving off. All of the girls turned pale at that moment, yet their inner women screaming for the coming fire that was Saitama. He inched closer before them, his pride and joy standing at attention. He was about to let the first girl get it, that being Tats, who just had to rub him the right way.

And just before the night kicked off with the most intense intercourse that the earth had ever seen, a man with bizarre blonde hair could be heard muttering to himself in the distance, saying a phrase almost too perfect at this moment.

"Useless... Utterly useless... all of you... ALL OF YOU ARE USELESS! ZA WARUDO! TOKI WO TOMARE!" Was all the bizarre man said, before time itself halted on his behalf. He looked towards the distance with a shitting-eating grin, almost as if looking at a certain person, that person being you, lol.

C'mon son, you should've seen this coming. Lol, did you really think I was gonna post something so risque on this story, on April Fool's of all days?! Get the hell outta here with that thirsty shit! Haha, you've been yeeted to heaven AND hell! And I gotta thank my man DIO for halting time again for me to get this latest chapter prepped up for posting. Hope to see all of you again in about a three days or so, and remember, you've been pranked by that one guy, you know, DIO!