Silverstrange1031: Haha 'dark matter on the inside', good way of putting it. Don't worry, I plan to make more interactions. Hope you enjoy this one as well!

AshGlitter: oh those are interesting pairings! I can see how their interactions can be fun, okay look forward to it! thanks! And glad you liked sakamoto x Otae, hope you like this one as well!


"Misunderstandings can lead to a world of pain."

"What were you doing when the rebel Katsura was here?" Hijikata questioned.

"Not answering your questions just like now!" Otose growled, bravely blowing smoke in the Vice-Chief's face.

Though a smoker himself, Hijikata still ended up coughing.

He sighed, "Look Old ha- Uh I mean Maam, I get that it's a bother for you, but if you answer properly, this will be over quicker ya kno-" He tried to reason, only to have an ugly cat lady interrupt and grab his arm, spinning him around on the bar stool.

"Oi Oi, Normally I don't go for cops, but you're one good looking man, officer. So why don't you question me at the private room in the back?" Catherine said with a wink that made Hijikata shiver with disgust.

Behind her, Yamazaki exasperatedly tried to get her off of his boss, "E-excuse me ma'am, but I was already questioning you though!"

"Shut up you plain looking tax-robber!" Catherine yelled back at him, "I want the hot stuff over here!"

As the two started arguing, Hijikata grew more and more angrier.

Shaking with fury and annoyance, he shut his notebook with a loud clap.

"We're done here!" He declared, before stomping towards the exit.

Just as he was about to leave the bar, someone stopped him.

"Excuse me, Hijikata-sama." A soft but robotic voice said, "But you have not questioned me yet."

Hijikata, still with his pissed off face on, turned to look at the speaker.

His expression immediately softened a bit, when he saw it was Tama.

"Oh uh, Hey, it's you." He awkwardly greeted her, "Wait, I thought Sougo was supposed to question you?"

Tama tilted her head to the side, "Sougo? The Sandy haired policeman? He left after seeing Kagura-sama coming out of the Yorozuya upstairs."

"That damn slacker!" Hijikata cursed.

There was no helping it.

"I'll question you then." He declared.

This got an instant reaction in the room.

"Hey I saw him first, Tama!" Catherine screamed.

"Don't you dare hit on our girl!" Otose growled.

"Vice-chief, I thought you were my friend!" Yamazaki wailed.

An anger mark appeared on Hijikata's forehead, with a grunt, he quickly grabbed Tama's wrist and pulled her outside.

Before the idiots in the bar could give chase, The Vice-Chief took a turn into an alley nearby and tugged Tama along with him.

When a cat lady, an old hag and a plain joe, safely passed by the alley without noticing them, Hijikata finally let go of the breath he had been holding.

Now to get to business.

He looked at his subject of questioning.

Tama held her usual calm face.

Hijikata had to hand it to her to stay so unaffected, by the idiocy that constantly happened around her.

"Well then, Shall we?" He asked.

With a nod from Tama, he began his questioning.


Hijikata took a deep breath.

As he exhaled, he let his shoulders slump and his expression slack a bit.

Even though it was only the middle of the day, he was already exhausted.

Nothing like a visit to that idiot perm-head's acquaintances, to completely deplete one's energy.

"And we got no lead either." Hijikata grumbled as he opened his car door.

He slid into the drivers seat and contemplated for a second if he should wait for Yamazaki to come back or not.

"Let him walk." He ultimately decided.

With that, The tired Vice-chief put his keys into the ignition and turned it.

Then he turned it again.

And again.

And again.

And aga-

"What the hell!?" Hijikata growled.

Why wasn't his car working?

"You stupid piece of metal, wake up!" The man growled as he slammed his fist against the dash.

Panicking, he checked his gas meter, still semi-full.

"Then what's wrong with you, huh?!" Hijikata asked.

After several failed attempts at the ignition again, the Vice-Chief got out and pulled up the hood.

No smoke, nothing seemed damaged or anything.

So why?

"Dammit!" Hijikata let out as he slammed the hood shut.

It was at this moment that Tama peeked her head out of the bar, checking what the commotion was.

"Hijikata-sama, is there a problem?" She inquired, approaching the now sweaty Vice-Chief.

"My car won't start." Hijikata admitted.

"Perhaps I can help." Tama offered, then, without waiting for confirmation from Hijikata, she went over to the driver's seat and sat down.

The robot maid placed her hand on the steering wheel.

A few minutes passed in silence.

The whole time, Hijikata just stared, not knowing how to react.

Okay, he may have done more than just staring.

The Vice-Chief scrutinized Tama.

They had met several times before, the most recent being the time she helped clean up their headquarters.

Since then, he had thought their relationship had become quite amicable, but seeing her again now, it still felt awkward.


Too absorbed in his thoughts, Hijikata failed to notice that Tama had begun speaking.

She was whispering something to his car.

It was only when the engine roared back to life, did Hijikata realize what was going on.

"You did it!" He exclaimed, looking both surprised and pleased.

Tama gave him a small smile, "She just needed some nice words said to her, I think she should be fine now, Hijikata-sama."

"Thanks a lot, er..." Hijikata paused, "Can I call you Tama?"

"Of course, it is the name my friends gave me when they saved me." Tama replied.

With a grateful smile, Hijikata spoke, "Thank you, Tama."

The robot maid gave him a small bow, before removing herself from the driver's seat.

The moment she got off, the car immediately died once again.

Hijikata's smile slowly faded from his face.

"Eh?"


"Vice-Chief, come in, Vice-Chief! Over." A voice came from the walkie talkie in the car.

Hijiata, with one hand still on the wheel, grabbed it with the other.

"Hijiata here. What is it? Over." He said into the device.

"We have a confirmed sighting of Katsura at the southern district, We'll text you the exact location now. Over." The voice replied.

Dropping the walkie talkie back into it's holder, Hijikata grabbed his phone from his pocket.

He took one look at the address before making a sharp turn on the road.

"Put your seat belt on, It's gonna get a little rough." He announced.


On the scene, several other Shinsengumi cars were already parked there.

The officers from those cars, had the building surrounded.

One was already shouting through a megaphone, for Katsura to give himself up.

"We made it in time." Hijikata said, before stepping out of the car.

Spotting his boss, Yamazaki ran over to him.

"Oh Zaki, how'd you get here?" Hijikata greeted him, totally playing innocent, as if he hadn't been the one that had abandoned him at Kabuki-cho.

"I hitched a ride with Okita-san after the China girl beat him up." Yamazaki replied, giving him a look.

"Good good." Hijikata said distractedly, he looked nervous for some reason.

Yamazaki looked behind him at his car.

"Uh Vice-chief, your car is still on, maybe you should off it for now, knowing Katsura, this may take a while." Yamazaki advised his superior.

Hijikata grimaced, "Uh, eh, nah, I-It's fine. Don't bother with it."

But Yamazaki continued to stare at his vehicle, it looked like someone was sitting in the passenger's seat.

"Sir, who's tha-?" Yamazaki tried to ask, only to have Hijikata grab him and pull him along towards the building.

"I said don't worry about it," He told the spy, nervously, "Stop looking at my car!"

Unfortunately, now that Hijiata was dragging him, Yamazaki was at a lower vantage point than before, giving him the perfect view of Hijikata's passenger.

"T-T-T-TAMA-SAN!?" Yamazaki shrieked.


Still sporting her calm expression, Tama removed her palm from the dashboard.

Hijikata's car immediately turned off.

Slowly, she placed her hand back on and the engine came alive.

"As you can see, she's being very stubborn." Tama said.

Yamazaki's eye twitched.

Sure, the two had provided a perfectly valid excuse as to why Tama was riding with Hijikata.

Yet.

Yet.

Damn you, Mayonnaise bastard!Yamazaki thought in his head.

He didn't mind losing to Hijikata when the Cat woman before, wanted the Vice-Chief instead of him.

But Tama-san was a whole different story.

"So you brought her along, Vice-Chief." Yamazaki muttered.

Hijikata immediately snapped, "Of course I had to! I had no choice, ya know?!"

The spy let out a sad sigh, "Fine. I get it. It's not like you were betraying our friendship on purpose. I get it."

"That's right it just happened." Tama added.

"Yeah, if only I knew broken hearts could occur suddenly like this." Yamazaki lamented.

The whole time, Hijikata's face becoming darker and darker.

"Oi stop that will ya?! Why did this suddenly become some love triangle drama? I'm just a guy with car troubles, Oi!" He burst.

Yamazaki gave him a saddened look, "It's okay Hijikata-san, you don't have to feel bad. It's not like Tama-san and I had anything. I-I'm just happy she's found someone as great as you, Vice-Chief!" he wailed before bursting into tears.

"Thank you for being so understanding." Tama said, patting Yamazaki's back.

"You're not helping, Tama!" Hijikata growled.

Yamazaki's crying immediately increased ten fold.

"T-Tama? Not even with a '-san' or anything?" He cried, "How long has this relationship been going on?!"

Tama put a finger to her chin, thinking, "Let's see, I met Hijikata-sama almost a hundred episodes ago so..."

"A hundred episodes?!" Yamazaki repeated, before increasing his crying volume once again.

"I'm seriously gonna beat the both of you if you two don't stop!" Hijikata shouted, at the end of his wits.


As if things couldn't get worse, a megaphone blared.

"Look at that, the demon Vice-Chief really is demonic, stealing his own subordinate's girl. If this is the kind of people protecting Edo, then we are right to try to take down the government!" Katsura joined in, through the megaphone from the building window.

To Hijikata;s horror, all those present on the scene, from his shinsengumi members, to the joi rebels, were watching them the whole time.

"It's not like that!" He shouted.

"Vice-Chief, how could you?" several of the men asked, looking scandalized.

Realizing they wouldn't listen, Hijikata looked pleadingly at Tama.

She seemed to get the message because next thing he knew, she stepped out of the car and stood next to him.

"Everyone, you are mistaken." Tama announced.

"Then what is it?" Sougo asked, emerging from the crowd of men, looking highly amused.

He spotted the way Hijikata was sweating with nervousness and the Captain could barely keep the smile from spreading on his face.

"Hijikata-sama and I are not together like that." Tama began.

All the men leaned in to hear her speak.

Katsura and his rebels, idiotically, left the building and walked over, to listen as well.

Tama opened her mouth.

Everyone sucked in their breath.

"Hijikata-sama hired me to stay with him." Tama revealed.

Said Hijikata, immediately crumbled into a dust heap of embarassment.

"What!?" Katsura cried through his megaphone, "You mean to say that the Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi, hired a woman to be with him!?"

"Hijikata-san, I'm really dissappointed in you!" Sougo tried to say with shock, only to fail and accidentally let out a few giggles.

"Vice-Chief, of all people, how could you!" The rest of the men cried, aghast.

All those present stared at Hijikata, waiting for a response.

Reassembling back into a human, Hijikata took one look at all the faces accusing him, before grabbing Tama's hand and making a run for his car.

"Get him!" Katsura Shouted.

Both Shinsengumi members and Joi rebels obeyed and chased after the Vice-Chief.


"Get in!" Hijikata told Tama, opening the door for her.

The robot maid slipped inside, followed by the Vice-Chief himself.

"Turn her on, now!" He said, breathing heavily.

Tama placed her hand against the dashboard, the engine roared to life.

"Buckle up." Hijikata warned, before backing out from among the other Shinsengumi cars.

Just as he was cleared of the vehicular obstacles, he faced a human one.

There, rushing at him head-on, was a crowd of Shinsengumi and Joi members.

"Hijikata-sama, are we trapped?" Tama asked, looking behind them and seeing that that way was blocked by trees.

"Not for long." Hijikata declared, before revving up his engine.

He pushed his foot hard against the pedal, and the car jolted forward.

"You're going to hit them." Tama stated, for the first time showing slight emotion in her voice.

"No I'm not!" Hjikata replied, determinedly still driving ahead.

"They're not budging." Tama stated, looking at the crowd of people still coming.

"They'll move." Hijikata argued, His knuckles going white on the steering wheel.

"Hijikata-sama, stop!" Tama cried as the car finally got within only a few feet of distance before the crowd.

"AAAArrrghhhh!" Hijiata let out as he plowed through his own men and his enemies.

Or at least he thought he plowed through them.


From the Crowd's point of view, it went a little something like this.

"He's gonna hit us!" The Shinsengumi members cried.

"No he's not, keep going!" Sougo yelled back.

"We're gonna get run over!" The joi rebels wailed.

"Keep going men! He'll stop when he sees we're still going!" Katsura told them, riding atop Elizabeth.

"He's not stopping, though!" The Shinsengumi men shouted.

"Don't stop, or you'll have me to answer to!" Sougo growled at them.

"Katsura-san, he's really gonna keep driving at us!" The Joi rebels pleaded.

"A wise man once said, face challenges head on!" Katsura preached.

"I don't think they meant it in this context!" his men replied.

Then, as the car got within only a short distance ahead of them, that was when realization struck the two idiot leaders.

"Gyaaah! He's really gonna hit us, run away!" Katsura shrieked.

"That's what we've been telling you!" His men yelled back, turning tail and running the opposite direction.

"That damn bastard! He's really not stopping huh?" Sougo growled.

"Sir, we're retreating!" His men declared.

The Shinsengumi began to disperse, leaving Sougo behind, still in the trajectory of the car.

"Sir, what are you doing? Move!" The Shinsengumi members shouted.

With blazing, sadistic eyes, Sougo took out his bazooka and aimed it at the car.

Only, it was right in front of him now.

"GYAAAAH!"


Speeding through the streets of Edo, Hijikata tried not to think of all the traffic laws he was currently breaking.

"Hijikata-sama?" Tama began.

"Yeah?" Hijikata replied.

"I think we hit someone back there." Tama told him, "I definitely felt a bump."

Hijikata's face slightly darkened, "D-don't think about it. It's probably some rebel scum that deserves it."

"Oh, okay." Tama replied, putting her eyes back on the road.

Silence fell between them again.

Hijikata couldn't help feel like their relationship had gotten more awkward, after the misunderstanding of their relationship just now.

"Listen I-"Hijikata Began.

"Hijikata-sama I-" Tama said at the same time.

The Vice-Chief grimaced, "Sorry, you go first."

Tama blinked at him.

"Hijikata-sama, I'm sorry for causing you trouble with that misunderstanding." She told him.

Hijikata's eyes widened at her apology.

The robot maid looked away from him, and placed her gaze on her lap.

"I'm supposed to help people, but all I did was make things difficult for you." She said, and, if you were to ask Hijikata, she actually sounded kind of sad, in his opinion.

The man sighed, "It's not your fault. You really were helping me. You shouldn't blame yourself for the idiocy of those guys." he tried to console her.

"Still, because of me, you're now in this situation." Tama muttered, still avoiding his eyes.

Gulping, Hijikata tried again to cheer her up, "Hey, don't worry. This is Gintama, those idiots would have forgotten all about this by now. Things are never serious for long." He said, slightly breaking the fourth wall.

But Tama still would not budge, "Perhaps if I stayed with you until you were to face them again, I can help explain?"

Sighing again, Hijikata pulled off to the side of the road.

Not driving now, he turned to his passenger.

With his hand, he delicately held her chin and turned her head to face him.

"Like I said," Hijikata began, Giving Tama a small smile whilst looking at her right in the eye, "Nothing is your fault, It's fine, I'm fine. It's gonna be okay. You did help and I'm very grateful for that."

A few seconds passed without a response from Tama.

Hijikata was just about to conclude that she herself had shut down, like his stupid car, when, all of a sudden, her eyes lit up.

"Defense mode: On." Tama declared.

"Defense mode?" Hijikata asked.

"Target: Sexual Harassment offender." Tama went on.

That's when he realized that she may have not appreciated him touching her chin.

"Oh." He let out, before getting blasted in the face with Tama's flame thrower.


"Oi! Watch where you're driving that piece of junk!" An angry Gintoki growled at the Shinsengumi car that had just parked outside of the bar.

He got off his own piece of junk scooter and walked over to the car.

Before he could open the driver's door himself, it hit him in the face.

Out came a sooty-faced Vice-Chief.

"Well, we're here." He grunted to his passenger.

From the other side, stepped out Tama.

Without looking at Hijikata, she said a curt 'Thank you.', before entering the bar.

Still on the ground, with a bump on his head, Gintoki squinted up at the burned Hijikata.

"What the hell happened to you?" He asked.

Hijiata gave him a glare.

"None of your business." he said, before going back inside his car.

Gintoki could clearly hear him try, and fail, at turning on his engine from inside.

The perm-head jumped when a loud boom came from where Hijikata was.

In an instant, the car turned on.

"What did he do? Kick it?" Gin muttered to himself.

Slowly, he tried to get himself upright again, only to pause with horror at the sight he saw under the Vice-Chief's car.

There, bloody but otherwise still alive, was a vengeful looking sadist, clutching to the bottom of the vehicle, waiting for the right time to exact his revenge for getting hit.

"Uh, um, excuse me. I didn't see anything." Gintoki stuttered, before getting up and rushing back inside his home, hoping that in the near future, he wouldn't be called to court as a witness to Vice-Chief Hijikata Toshirou's murder case.


Unaware of the demon underneath his car, Hijikata was on his way back to the compound.

"I'll just beat the sh*t out of anyone who brings up the misunderstanding." He muttered to himself, having finally decided on what action he'll take.

Now that he had that solved, the one issue he was avoiding during the drive back, finally resurfaced in his mind.

Just when he thought that he and the robot girl had finally gotten close, he had to touch her damn chin!

"Who the hell calls chin-touching, sexual harassment anyways!?" He growled, "I blame those damn retainers of hers, putting weird ideas into her head."

Still, he sighed, maybe he should just avoid all future interactions with Tama.

But then again, he argued, she was one of the few people whose company he might actually enjoy, if they hanged out a bit more that is.

With Tama still on his mind, He entered the Shinsengumi compound.

As soon as the gates closed, after letting Hijikata's car in,

"Die, Hijikata!"

"GYAAAAAH!"


I recently re-watched the soul switch arc and fell in love with the whole concept of Hijikata interacting with Tama, all over again. So I just had to write a continuation to their meeting in the previous chapter.


Til next time~!