All familiar characters and events are Janet's creations, I just put a different spin on some of them. The mistakes are mine alone.

I had just bitten into a Dorito when my cell buzzed from where I'd dumped it on Ranger's desk.

"Valerie," I told him, after I checked out the screen. "Hey, Val. What's up?"

"Ummm ... I'm not sure how to ask this ..."

"I knew this day was coming. Don't worry, Ranger knows tons of lawyers. He can have you Kloughn-free by next week."

"Wait, what? No ... I'm not divorcing Albert. I love my cuddle-umpkins."

I dropped the second cheesy chip I'd been about to make history back into its bag. "Can we refrain from pet-name calling? I'm trying to eat here. One more cuddle-umpkins or squishy-tushy, and I'm gonna hurl."

"You brought him up."

"And I'm so sorry I did."

"The reason I'm calling is I'm not sure what else to do."

That doesn't sound like the perfect sister I know and love when she isn't discussing Klough's anatomy.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

"Mary Alice is getting picked on. There's a boy who's been harassing her and threatening to do more - and also completely deny it - if she tells."

I know my niece, she's not a person you can tell to sit down and shut up. If anyone orders her not to say something, she'll immediately turn into Grandma Mazur ... telling everyone who slows down long enough to listen. Valerie once said that my niece takes after me when it comes to authority figures.

"Since you know about it," I said, "she's already told on him."

"Yeah. I've had several talks with the girls over the years about what to do if something like this happens to them. The part I hadn't expected is how unwilling the school and parents are to help stop it."

"Why haven't I been told about this?" I asked her. "It's been going on for a while if you've already spoken to people about it."

"What was I supposed to say ... the chicken salad's good, by the way ... my daughter has started making up excuses and illnesses to avoid doing anything outside of our house?"

"No, you say ... 'Hi, Steph. Put some bullets in your gun and meet me at such-and-such place. Some little shithead is picking on your niece and I want you to end it or him'."

"Speaker," Ranger told me, leaning forward in his Bat-chair.

I did as instructed.

"Who's the 'shithead'?" He asked Valerie. "And what did he do to which niece?"

"Hi, Ranger. I'm sorry to be calling ... this is about Mary Alice."

"There's no reason to be sorry for asking for help. My company is built around protecting people. Stephanie's people stay at the top of the list at all times."

I could hear the worry leaking out of her. "Thank you. I've talked to the boy's mom, but she doesn't believe he's the one doing something wrong. And the school has 'seen no evidence to support my claims'. It's turned into my child's word against hers."

"So it is definitely a boy targeting her?" He asked.

The way his tone sharpened scared me a little. My history and 'encounters' with Morelli, and Ranger having a daughter who's already a stunner that he'll kill to protect, has led us to many discussions about boys harassing girls. And in his mind ... there is never a happy ending for the offending boy.

"Yes," Valerie answered. "He's the best friend of the boy her best friend likes, so everywhere she is, he isn't too far away ... except for at home. I first tried to talk to his mother about this, but she's a single mom working two jobs. His father isn't in his life ..."

"Don't do what Mom did, Val," I ordered her.

"What did Mom do?"

"Nothing ... she did nothing except ignore or make excuses for what happened, and ground me for what someone else did to me."

I watched Ranger's mouth tighten and a muscle in his jaw jerk twice. He isn't happy about any part of this conversation.

"Sorry," I mouthed to him.

His slight nod told me to continue if it'd help my niece.

"The physical scars on my body apparently weren't enough," I shared with my sister, "she wanted to make sure the psychological ones would outnumber them."

"Joe hurt you?"

"Maybe not in the eyes of people who haven't gone through something similar, but I have a scar on my knee from when I tripped and fell on a rock as I was rushing home on the off chance someone had noticed that a six-year-old me had disappeared for a little while. Mom saw the blood on my leg that I'd smeared from my knee ... which led to the inside out underwear discovery."

"You used to joke about the Choo-Choo incident," she reminded me.

"I did, but apparently I was dumb for thinking it was normal behavior between children. Just last month, Mary Lou's neighbor had a similar problem, except the boy who fingered her daughter was the exact same age - not two years older and worlds away in experience like Joe was - and DCF was immediately called in to investigate. I also grew up and began arresting people who've done similar things back when they were Morelli's age, younger, and older. And thanks to all the crap I went through because of him, I have a permanent white line running across my knuckle where I hit one of the walls Morelli had written about me on. And, of course, I have a scar from a bullet on my ass for getting involved in a case he was responsible, and using me as bait, for."

"When you put it like that ... it's crazy that Mom was still hoping you'd end up together."

"Yeah. For a time, I believed I deserved him. I finally figured out that I actually deserve the best ... and I'm living with him now, but that's not the reason I mentioned Morelli. Your daughter is being bullied, that's all you should be thinking about. What happens in their family or their home is their own - and likely a social worker's - job to fix. I've spent years trying to sort out what was done to me ... if I asked for it because I should've known better or protected myself since I knew no one else would, or if I was just the end result of parenting gone wrong. Mary Alice is not going through that kind of self-analysis or blame. You gave the mother and the school a chance to end it, it's our turn now."

I was temporarily distracted by the look Ranger was giving me. "Proud of you, Babe."

"Thanks."

"This isn't like what happened with you and Joe," Valerie tried to point out.

"No? Is he a boy picking on a girl?"

"Yeah, but ..."

"Is he older than her?"

"He was kept back a year, so yeah ... he's a year older."

"Is he doing this in front of an audience?" I asked. "Or does he wait until she's alone to torture her?"

"Caila doesn't understand why Mary Alice said she isn't going to her birthday party on Saturday. My daughter then got mad at me when I offered to go with her to the party under the pretense of 'helping out'."

"I don't wish the teen years on anyone," I said out loud.

"I loved high school," my perfect sister said.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you did. It was pure hell for the rest of us."

"Aside from the time Joe was a dick and wrote those things about you, I didn't think you had that bad of a time in school."

My eyes went to my guy. "If you want this bully-boy to live, you don't want me to rehash all the reasons I'm relieved to have graduated still relatively sane."

"Sorry. I'm not thinking clearly at the moment. I was hoping, Ranger, that maybe you or one of the men you two work with could just speak to the boy so Mary Alice won't feel embarrassed about 'telling her Mommy' and we can put this behind us."

"You want Ranger or my guys to handle this? What about me?"

"No offense, Steph, but they're trained to stay calm. You hit people with cars or just outright shoot them."

"Only the ones who deserve it."

"This boy does, but I don't have time to testify on your behalf in court."

"I wouldn't kill him," I assured her. "I'd just mess him up, or mess with his head, a little."

"So ... will you talk to him, Ranger?" She asked.

Stupid speaker.

"You don't have to ask. Just tell us the problem and we'll find a solution to it."

"You're even sexier when you say stuff like that," I informed him.

"Why do you think I do it?"

"Because you're a good guy."

"There is that."

"And you think I'm gross when I talk about Albert?" Val said.

"You are. So where do we find this little fucker ... I mean kid?"

"Steph ..."

"Sorry, Val, but this is the type of situation I'm very familiar with and I want to be part of resolving it."

"Mary Alice isn't willing to tell me much. Maybe you not being 'her mother', can get more out of her."

That's all I needed to hear. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

She paused. "Thanks, Steph."

"Hey, she's my niece. I'll do anything to protect any of them."

I disconnected and looked at Ranger.

"This sucks," I told him.

"It does. Do you want me to tag along?"

"She might freeze up if she feels any of the anger that's crackling around you."

"Or she could be relieved that someone is willing to take a stand for her."

"I'm definitely going to be doing that today. I'll fill you in when I get back."

"Alright. You know where I'll be."

"I do. I checked with Tank this morning, and you're scheduled for a boring day spent in the building."

"Smartass," he told me.

"Yep," I said, abandoning my Doritos completely. I leaned across the desk and kissed him. "I'll be back soon. Have my gun ready."

"Babe."

"I'm not really joking."

"I didn't think you were. It'll be loaded and waiting for you when you pull into the garage."

I gave him another kiss for humoring me and then I headed to Valerie's house.

"She's in her room," my sister told me after I let myself in. "She doesn't know I called you."

"It's okay. I'll take it from here."

I climbed the stairs and saw that her door was partially open. I walked over to it and knocked on the door frame of Mary Alice's apple green and ivory haven before poking my head inside.

"Hey, Kiddo," I said, as she sat up on her bed.

"Aunt Steph? What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I came to talk to you."

"Mom told you about Derek, didn't she?"

"Yeah. And I want to help you deal with him," I told her, coming into her room and closing the door behind me.

"There's no dealing with him. He has the run of the school, my friends, plus the neighborhood."

"There's always a vulnerable spot to strike, I just need your help to find his."

"I don't think he has one. He's convinced that he can do whatever he wants because someone will always cover for him. And they do."

I sat at the foot of her bed, cross-legged and facing her. "Believe me, covering for him is the last thing I was planning on doing to ... I mean ... for him. Did he do more than say stuff to you? Your mom didn't go into specifics on what he's said, just that he's been 'picking on' you."

The way Mary Alice's eyes skittered away from mine let me know there's something she hasn't shared yet.

"Did he hurt you?" I asked her. "Put his hands, or anything else, on you in any way?"

"Not really ... no."

"But he did do something to upset you?" I pushed.

At a young age, Morelli taught me all I ever needed to know about using age, popularity, and a connected mother who's well-respected in the neighborhood, to intimidate people and cover his own ass.

She still wasn't saying anything. "Mary Alice?"

"You can't tell mom ..."

"Tell her what?"

"Well ... last week in the boy's bathroom he wrote ... 'For a good ride ... text Horse-Girl'. And he put my contact info that he must've gotten from Caila, under it. That means exactly what it sounds like, doesn't it?"

All the air got sucked out of my lungs and I saw nothing except an angry red mist in front of my face. No one treats my niece like that and lives to tell about it, kid or no kid. If Ranger doesn't feel comfortable shooting him, I'll do it myself.

"It doesn't matter what it means," I told her. "It shouldn't have been written in the first place. You're a smart, beautiful, and fun, girl. For him to try to reduce you to 'horse girl' really pisses me off. I won't say what the rest of it makes me want to do."

"Reading it made me want to take a shower with boiling hot water. After drama class was done, he pushed me into the bathroom and wouldn't let me leave until I saw it. I think he only wrote it to annoy me, knowing I'd be at school later that day, because no one else mentioned seeing it. Before Mom picked me up, I snuck back inside to get rid of it, but it was already gone."

I'm not sure if the State Of New Jersey agrees, but to me that sounds like a clear case of capturing and keeping someone against their will ... aka kidnapping. Being a little prick should always be a prosecutable crime in my eyes, but what scares me is that it sounds like his behavior is escalating. I wasn't kidding when I said I'd do anything for my nieces. Even if it means agreeing to watch his little monsters, I'm asking Eddie to drive real slow by this boy's house a few times a day in a police cruiser just so he knows he's being watched. Morelli had his pick of neighborhood girls, but this little shit isn't going to.

"If you didn't want your mom to know that part, you should have called me."

She shrugged it off. "I didn't think it'd change anything. I tried to talk to Angie about it and she told me to just ignore him and he'd stop. I mentioned Derek always talking about me or bugging me to Caila, but she said he didn't mean anything by it, it's only his immature way of saying that he likes me."

"No ... it clearly shows what a little dickhead he is." Her mouth formed an 'O'. Shit. I'm not supposed to swear in front of children. "Forget I said the 'D' word. What I'm getting at is ... if he likes you, he'll actually act like he does, not bully you into thinking you have to or else. He may still be a kid, but that doesn't mean he hasn't already learned how to be abusive jerk."

"You think if he was interested in me, he'd be extra nice to me and act like Ranger does with you ... how he opens the car door for you and always brings you coffee in the morning?"

"He also buys me Frosted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts even though he's morally against them, just because he knows I think some days need them. How do you know what he does for me?" I asked her.

"Mom and Alber-dad were having a 'discussion', and she asked him how come the things Ranger does for you, he can't do for her."

"Ranger is the best. This is really important, Mary Alice, so pay attention. I want you to watch how Ranger behaves around me, and how respectful he is to everyone he speaks to even when I'm not around, because that's how you deserve to be treated by your future boyfriends."

"I think Binkie's pretty cute. And every time I've see him, he's been really nice."

"He is a total sweetie pie. Although he's the baby of my Rangeguys, he's still way too old for you, but you're definitely on the right track with your crushes if you like him. Promise me you'll never settle for someone that treats you horribly ... like the way Derek has or worse."

"I promise. Ranger seems to be the right guy for you. You've changed a lot since you started going out with him. I like him way better than Joe. Ranger asked me my opinion on something he was going to send Julie. No one's really asked me what I thought before. He must've mentioned it to Julie, too, and now she emails me every couple of days."

I threw my hands up in the air in front of me. "Why don't I know any of this is going on?"

"You're busy and busy being happy, Aunt Steph."

"That's no excuse for not knowing you're struggling with something, or that you and Julie have become online pals."

"I would've told you, but I was afraid someone would tell Julie to stop talking to me."

"Why?" I asked her, completely baffled as to why she'd assume someone would end their friendship.

"Why do you think? I'm not 'normal'."

"Neither am I. And honestly ... that's worked out really well for me. I love you and I love Julie, too. I was hoping you two, and Angie, would get to be friends as she visits more, but it looks like she was smarter than me yet again ... and is proactive like her dad. Did you mention anything to her about the 'Derek situation'?"

"No. I didn't say anything about Dickhead Derek."

"Don't tell your mother I said that in front of you. Three swear-strikes and I may be tossed out."

Her lips twitched. "I won't."

"I am going to have to tell her what's been going on, though, so if I get arrested for beating this boy up, she can come bail me out."

Just as I was hoping, she laughed. "You're crazy, Aunt Steph."

"So I've been told. Now tell me where I can find this kid." She hesitated. "I can ask Ranger to find him for me, but it'll be easier if you tell me where his usual hangouts are. I understand you not wanting to be in the middle of any of this, but he is not getting away with tormenting you. I went through something similar when I was in high school and it affects me to this day. There's no way in hell I'm letting you be hurt if I can stop it. Let me and my guys handle this."

I had to wait two excruciatingly-long minutes before she decided. "Okay. You won't embarrass me, right?"

I drew a cross above my heart. "I promise I won't. Ranger will have Derek so scared, he'll piss his pants ... which will give you more ammo to use to keep his body away from you and his mouth shut about you. Some schools have Pep Squads ... you, Mary Alice, have a Security Squad, which is a million times better."

She looked skeptical.

"Have you seen Joe hanging out at Grandma Plum's house anymore?" I asked.

She thought about that. "No, not since he showed up at Thanksgiving."

"Why do you think he's been absent?"

"Ranger?"

"Bingo. And did you hear one word about their 'talk'?"

"No."

"See," I said, "you're in very good hands here. Now give me a hug and tell me where I can find the dickhead ... I mean child."

She did give me a hug, but still remained unsure about disclosing info.

"I'll do anything for you and your sisters," I reminded her. "This is ending now. He's not getting away with harassing you or anyone else. I'd go door-to-door if I had to, but with the programs I have at Rangeman, it'll take me longer to type in his name than it will for his information to pop up on the screen."

She let go of a sigh that made me fight a smile. "He and a couple of his friends, including Isaac - the boy Caila likes - hang out in the food court at Quaker Bridge on Friday nights."

I scruffed the top of her head with my knuckles. "Thanks, kid. As Ranger often says ... just give me a target and I'll take it out."

"Aunt Steph ..."

"It'll be okay. I'll make sure of it."

I left her and the Kloughn house after stealing one of the cheeseburgers Val was making as I filled her in. Before I started the Cayenne, I put in a call to Eddie, who thankfully wanted to help without babysitting being mentioned. And I'm pretty sure Derek and his mom will be getting a visit from him after we lay down the law. Another ten-minute drive from the Burg back to the Rangeman building and I was tracking Ranger down.

I relayed the new intel I'd gathered and the conversation I had with Gazarra. "Can you believe someone would say shit like about my niece? I've been on the front page enough to make anyone rethink the idea of doing something that will piss me off."

"I'm opposed to harming children, but I'm tempted in this case."

"I'm pretty sure Mary Alice thinks I'm going to off him."

"Are you?"

"I'm really considering it."

"Is this solely about her or are you factoring in what's been done to you?"

"Ninety-eight percent niece, two-percent residual anger about my own childhood."

"If you take out the kid, I get to eliminate Morelli from your life."

"You did that already."

"Is he still breathing?"

I sighed like Mary Alice did not that long ago. "Yeah."

"That means there are still some ways I can make him disappear completely."

"I know you're upset, but don't go off and kill him when I'm not looking."

"I can't, since you're always looking."

"What can I say, you're a pretty hot guy."

He gave me a hundred-watt smile for that. He cares how well his body works, not so much what it looks like from an appearance standpoint, but he loves the fact that I enjoy staring at him so much.

"I really do appreciate why you want to be the one to squash Morelli, but really ... I'm okay. This hurts you more than it does me now."

"If anyone did even one of the things to Julie that he's done to you, there'd be nothing left of him except an extremely small mound of disturbed earth."

"Some people may think this is wrong," I said to him, "but I love you even more for saying that. I know you don't believe it, but I think you've been a great dad to Julie. Parents should always protect and want to defend their children."

"Yours didn't."

"No, but the good news is ... I did learn how I didn't want to be. And anything I've missed out on then, I can do for them now. I've been through it all ... teasing, bullying, sexual harassment, and I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure my nieces won't have to deal with everything I've had to."

"She's lucky to have you for an Aunt."

"I'm trying to be a good influence. They've turned into pretty cool people. Angie still reminds me far too much of Val sometimes, but she's coming around nicely."

"She'll be happy to hear you say that."

"No ... she won't, which is why I'm not saying that out loud anywhere near her. The boy we're after stakes out Quaker Bridge's food court on Friday nights."

"So we'll be paying him a visit."

It wasn't a question.

"Yep. It's a date ... Rangeman-style."

Our mall-date chaperones were Tank, Cal, and Hector, all chosen for a specific intimidation factor. Tank for his hugeness, Cal for his tattooed-toughness, and Hector for his hinted-at gang connection. Only those who know them, understand that they are the three most polite, loyal, kind-hearted, and complimentary, guys here. All the Rangeguys are sweethearts in my eyes, but depending on the day, my top five guys change. That Friday, my favorite guys switched to the three of them for wanting to stand up for my niece while showing their support for Ranger and I as a couple by offering to be our backup. They got bumped up from favorite status to near Sainthood in my mind for wanting to help Mary Alice.

We snagged two tables at one end of the food court and waited for Dickhead Derek to show his face. I had enough time to down a milkshake before that happened. My guys, ever the professionals, weren't getting any treats until after the job was completed successfully.

I know this kid will end up with his tongue tied around his non-thinking head before he bugged Mary Alice again, so I was okay with celebrating prematurely. Ranger had rested a calming hand on my hip as I told myself not to go into rhino-mode after my shake was gone. The frothy chocolate drink had been replaced with body shakes as we watched the four boys sit down.

A familiar face caught my eye over Hector's shoulder before the confrontation could get underway. We're a flexible team so the four men followed me to where Valerie was standing with Mary Alice.

"I wasn't expecting to see you two here," I said to them.

I was focused on my niece, but I couldn't help but notice Val's suddenly flushed face and darting eyes. Unless there's a fruit fly buzzing around her head that no one can see except her, I'd say the wall of testosterone in front of her had her a bit flustered. It's understandable since she goes home every night to a Kloughn.

"I want to do this myself," my niece stated.

"You sure?" I asked, not wanting her to deal with more crap than she already has.

"Yeah."

"I swear I wasn't actually going to kill him. I was just going to toy with him a little until he cried uncle or begged for mercy."

"But if I don't do it, Monday morning when you guys aren't around, he'll start all over again and probably be even more of a jerk."

I rolled my eyes dramatically for effect. "That's why we were going to rough him up a little, so he'd be in traction for a few weeks and won't be able to go back to school right away."

"A well-placed blow to the head can cause temporary or permanent amnesia," Tank offered. "He'll forget that he was harassing you."

Both she and I laughed. Only Ranger, the guys, and I, know how serious he was.

"Alright, you go put him in his place and then we'll all head further into the mall and get Caila a present so you won't show up empty-handed at her party tomorrow. You're not missing her birthday because of him."

"Thanks, Aunt Steph."

"No problem."

Being a lot like me and Grandma Mazur in personality, I saw her eyes shoot in Ranger's direction. I braced myself for what's coming. And she didn't disappoint.

"When are you going to make him my Uncle Ranger?" She asked me.

While I was trying not to choke, 'Uncle Ranger' cocked an eyebrow and appeared to enjoy watching my gears turn as I tried to figure out an acceptable answer quickly.

"Let's tackle one guy at a time," I said, earning an actual laugh from Tank and Cal.

"You tackled me already if I recall," Batman told everyone.

He's playing hardball ... and he knows I don't back down from a challenge.

"I certainly did. So, Mary Alice, you go neutralize the mini-guy and afterwards we'll talk about how to domesticate my guy."

"She got you there, Boss," Cal said.

"Él ha cumplido su partido," Hector added.

I looked at Ranger who translated for me. "Hector believes I've met my match."

"I agree," Tank piped in. "Dibs on best man."

I snapped my fingers three times in rapid succession. "Focus, Guys. We're here for Mary Alice, not to get me hitched."

I would've agreed to anything Tank wanted when he dropped a hand on my niece's shoulder. "I'll keep you company for the walk over," he told her.

As they headed to the table of boys, I glanced briefly at Cal and Hector. "Sorry, Boys, he just won tux-rights if they're ever needed."

"He's a fucking kiss-ass," Cal said, but he was almost grinning.

We let my niece take point, but we did surround Derek's table. Tonight will be one nobody forgets, but all for different reasons.

"Hi, Derek. Remember me?" Mary Alice asked him.

Tank had gone all bodyguard on us and was towering over her with his arms crossed threateningly over acres of muscled chest. I know he has a serious weakness for kittens and Fruity Pebbles, but even I gulped nervously watching how easily he slipped into his work persona.

Derek's eyes did something similar to what Valerie's did, but this one is definitely fear-based.

"Ahhh ... you're Caila's friend, right?"

"Wrong. I'm the girl you keep bugging, calling names, making kissy faces at, and repeating inappropriate jokes to, whenever Caila's not around. And I'm warning you now, it'd better not happen to me, or anyone else, again or I'll let my Aunt, her fiancé, and her friends ..." she said, making me so proud of how she met each set of Rangeguy eyes until they nodded before she continued, "finish you off."

Derek's friends laughed nervously. He tried, but it sounded strained. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I said hello to rhino-mode, put a hand on the back of his chair and the other on the table in front of him, and got in his face.

"Are you calling my niece a liar?" I bit out. "Before you answer that, if your mom still reads the paper ... she'll know that a lot of the people I go after end up dead."

"Steph," Val started to say.

"Let her do her thing," Ranger ordered my sister. "She knows exactly what she's doing, which is why she's giving him a warning first."

"I'm not kidding around, Derek," Mary Alice added. "If you bother me, say or write anything about me, target another girl after me, or cause trouble between Caila and Isaac ... Aunt Steph, Uncle Ranger, and their business associates, will be coming after you. She and my Grandma Mazur wiped out a building after a shootout, so it wouldn't be smart to mess with any of us."

"Holy shit!" One of Derek's friends exclaimed. "You're Stephanie Plum!"

"Yep."

"You're even hotter in person."

Cal cuffed him in a reprimanding way. "Show the lady some respect."

He rubbed his head and avoided any further eye contact.

"We clear?" My niece asked her ex-bully. "I'll be at Caila's party tomorrow and at school on Monday ... stay," she turned to me, "what's the restraining order distance people have to keep?" She asked me.

Ranger answered. "In this case ... thirty-feet should be adequate." He aimed a deadly stare at the boy. "If not, you can be put six-feet under. 'Accidents' have been known to happen."

I could see as well as feel bully-boy's reaction. Even when I knew Ranger considered me a friend in the beginning, whenever he was 'not pleased', I still felt the apprehension this kid is now experiencing. I would've felt bad for him if he hadn't brought this all on himself.

"Is there anything you'd like to add, Val," I asked, knowing this is a pivotal mom/daughter moment.

"Yes," she said, "if you say one more thing to - or about - my daughter, it'll be the last thing you do. I was trying to be nice because I felt bad for you and your mom, but I'm married to an attorney and I will get the law after you as well as my sister if you come near Mary Alice again."

I would've clapped, but I didn't want to ruin the badass image I have going.

"Ladies," Ranger said to us, "I believe we have a shopping date to get started on."

"We do," my niece answered. "To get a birthday present for Caila and an engagement ring since my Aunt's gonna be Mrs. Manoso soon."

"Shit, you're Ranger Manoso, aren't you?" Dickhead Derek couldn't help but say. "Like the bounty hunter guy my mom was drooling over once on TV?"

"Don't make me threaten your mom, too," I told him. "The only one allowed to drool over him is me. Let's go, Mary Alice, I think you've made your point. If it's not sharp enough, I'll be more than happy to drive it home for him ... repeatedly."

"Babe."

"Too corny?"

"No," he answered. "The sentiment is perfect."

I gave Dickhead Derek one last warning stare and then I tugged my niece out of the overhang that was Tank's body.

"What are you thinking about getting Caila?" I asked her.

She must be feeling pretty confident right now, because she kept up the kidding vibe. "I don't know, but Calia does like jewelry."

"I know what you're up to, but Ranger wouldn't buy a ring at Target, so what's another present option?" I asked.

"There are actual jewelry stores in the building, Steph," Cal pointed out. "We passed one just getting here."

I glared at him. "Do you guys have to be so observant all the time?"

"Yes," they answered simultaneously.

"Ready to wave a white flag?" Ranger asked me, curling an arm around my shoulders and completely affixing me to the side of his body.

"Plums don't surrender, do they Mary Alice?" I said to her.

She glanced at Ranger before answering. "Not unless they know they're outnumbered and have no defenses left."

"Hey! I just went to bat for you, and now you're turning on me?" I asked.

"That's not how I see it, Aunt Steph. You showed me how to fight for what I want ... and that's what I'm helping you do. You wouldn't have given up your apartment to live with Ranger in his building if you didn't see a future with him."

I hadn't expected that answer. I used the arm not wrapped around Ranger and circled her waist with it.

"Let's focus on Caila right now," I said, "and then we'll talk about me."

Ranger, opportunist that he is, spoke up. "You should know by now, Steph, you always come first."