Chapter 1: Introductions

When Kakashi was called in to discuss taking on a team of recently graduated Genin, Kakashi thought, 'Why the hell not? I'll just flunk them anyway.'

Flunking them had been the plan. Even when he saw his teacher's child's name, Uzumaki Naruto, Kakashi was still hell-bent on sending them back to the academy. But then the second name made him pause and look up at the Hokage.

"Uchiha Sasuke?" Kakashi read. This had to be some joke because it felt like some type of political maneuver to get Sharingan no Kakashi into teaching an Uchiha brat.

"Hmm yes," the Hokage nodded sagely. "The council decided that you were the only one capable to teach the last Uchiha about his bloodline."

"I don't know anything about his bloodline," Kakashi stated. He knew how to use the Sharingan, but Kakashi was convinced that knowing about it and knowing how to use it were two different things. Then again, Kakashi would convince himself of anything if it meant getting less responsibilities. "Besides, he's not even guaranteed to activate it."

"The council has made their decision."

"You know I'll just flunk him, right?"

"And when Sasuke passes his academy exams again, he'll be assigned to you… again," Sarutobi pointed out.

Kakashi huffed, looking back at the papers in his hands. This was probably the only team he couldn't flunk. Mainly because of the Uchiha brat and all the damned politics, but also because some sense of loyalty to his Sensei had passed onto Naruto.

Well if Naruto was Obito and the Uchiha was Kakashi, then all they were missing was a Rin, and Kakashi would be emotionally doomed… or not.

His mental health had always been bad.

Kakashi shuffled the three papers around to get a look at the last sheet and learn the name of the Rin-wannabe. Haruno… Kakashi blinked, rubbing his one good eye and squinted at the name.

Sakumo.

Haruno Sakumo.

His heart pounded in his chest, and just when he thought he was about to have a panic attack he took a breath and forced himself to think of something else. Mainly, what type of parents would name their child after a known traitor? And then his heart stuttered again, because how could Kakashi not think about his father when that name was blatantly staring at him on the sheet of paper!

"I think, I need to sit down," Kakashi muttered as he stumbled onto the chair opposite the Hokage who had an odd twinkle in his eye and a smug smirk.

Now Kakashi really wanted to fail this team.

But on one hand there was politics and on the other there was Naruto, so really, Kakashi couldn't say no. He was duty bound to the village to teach the Uchiha and if things had been different, Naruto would have been like a little brother to him.

But there was also Haruno Sakumo, and that name alone made Kakashi rethink his loyalties. Maybe he could run now and become a missing Nin.

Damn his father to the pits of hell. And curse this boy for bringing up bad memories.

And no! Kakashi did NOT have daddy issues.

Kakashi wasn't sure how long he sat in the Hokage's office, but eventually, he snapped to his senses and figured that if he was going to think of the dead - even if it was a traitor - he might as well go to the memorial stone to do it. But of course, the Hokage cared little for Kakashi's wants, and forcefully dragged - told - him to accompany him to Naruto's residence.

xxx

Team seven was utterly bored as they waited for their Sensei.

Sasuke was brooding in his seat, elbows propped up on the table and fingers interlocked in front of his face.

Sakumo was slouched in his chair, watching Naruto pace around the room.

Oh, no wait. Naruto stopped pacing and was now holding an eraser in his hand as he darted to the sliding door, stuffing the eraser between the door and frame.

Sakumo chuckled as he looked around the room and eyed Iruka-Sensei's rolling chair.

"That's never going to work, Dobe," Sasuke stated, broody as ever.

"What would you know, Teme!" Naruto shouted back. The two of them becoming background noise as Sakumo made his way to Iruka's chair and rolled it to the sliding door.

Humming to himself, Sakumo tied one end of his wire to the back of the door, and the other to the door frame, making the wire as taut as possible, with the chair between the wire and door.

"Hey," Naruto said, his arguing match temporarily on hold. "What are you doing?"

Figuring that the trap was as good as it was going to get, Sakumo turned to the blonde. "Eh, I figured you could hit our Sensei in the head," Sakumo pointed to the chalk eraser. "While I go for the balls." Sakumo pointed to the chair.

Of course, the chair probably wouldn't do much unless their new Sensei slammed the door open but Sakumo guessed that it could serve as a distraction while the eraser did its job.

Oi, that's not very nice. The voice in Sakumo's head stated. What if your Sensei want's to have children one day?

'It's fine,' Sakumo thought back. 'Besides, Sasuke's right. This is a Jounin. There's no way we could really injure him.'

You'd be surprised Kiddo, his other half responded, though there was humor in his tone.

Sakumo waited for a second, expecting Fang - ('none of this inner, outer nonsense. Call me Fang') - to say something else, but when he didn't, Sakumo just shrugged and made his way back to his seat. He was only halfway to his seat when he heard it. The sliding of the door and a soft plop followed by a stream of giggles and, "I got him! I got him! See that, Teme!"

'Aw man! I missed it!' Sakumo inwardly cried as he turned around and took in his Sensei. There really wasn't much to take in. Silver hair, masked face, one eye. What sort of weirdo wore a mask in this kind of weather?

It was hot in the Fire Country.

"My first impression of you guys… I hate you. Meet me on the roof."

'Well, that could have gone better, huh, Fang?'

"Let's go guys!" Naruto cheered, bolting out the door. "Last one there's a rotten egg!" he called and by the muffled voice, Sakumo could guess that the blonde was already half way down the hall.

Sakumo glanced at Sasuke who shrugged and continued at a leisurely pace.

'Fang?' Sakumo thought. 'You there?' He waited for a minute and was already at the door to the roof when he called again. 'Fang? Are you ignoring me? Are you mad? Jeez, I won't prank our Sensei again if it means so much to you… hello?'

"Alright, let's to introductions," their Sensei said, interrupting Sakumo's thoughts.

"Like what?" Naruto asked.

"Name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future. That sort of thing," Sensei shrugged.

Sakumo took a seat next to Naruto on the stairs and said, "why don't you go first Sensei?"

"Mah alright. I'm Hatake Kakashi. I have no intention of telling you my likes or my dislikes. As for my dream… never really thought about it. And I have lots of hobbies."

Sakumo snorted rolling his eyes. 'You think he's going to tell us more about himself after he gets to know us better?'

Perhaps.

'Oh so now, you're talking to me again?' Sakumo teased but Fang just snorted in response.

"You, emo. Go first," Kakashi pointed at Sasuke.

Hmm, that was rather rude.

'No kidding.'

"Uchiha Sasuke, there's not a lot of things I like and I dislike a lot of things. My hobbies are training and my dream, no ambition, is to kill a certain someone."

'Wow, Kakashi-Sensei hit it on the nail. Sasuke really is emo.'

You're being rude too.

'At least I don't speak my thoughts out loud.'

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I like Ramen and Jiji, and Iruka Sense. I don't like the three minute wait for Ramen and my dream is to become Hokage!"

"Next?"

"Ah, I'm Haruno Sakumo. I like…" damn what did he like again? Sakumo glanced at his teammates, looking for some sort of answer - as if they knew him that well. "… I dislike…" Sakumo caught Kakashi's eye but immediately looked back to the other two boys. Their Sensei looked really scary. "Hobbies… uh…" he could feel his face heating up now. Sakumo never was good at class presentations. "Dreams for the future…" he blinked as an answer actually came to him. "My dream is to show Konoha's citizens how much of a hypocrite they are!"

You did not just say that!

A:N: I want to go for humor as a genre, but I'm not sure if I'm funny enough to pull it off. Tips, thoughts, comments?

Edit: 2/12/18