The hotel wasn't that nice. Nathan normally wouldn't have minded – he'd slept in far worst than this unmemorable establishment, but for Meredith's sake, he cringed as the bed creaked loudly under his weight. Meredith didn't seem to notice, as she immediately started unpacking her suitcase.

"I need a shower. Draining someone's epidural hematoma with a straw isn't exactly a sterile procedure" she said as she gathered her things, heading into the bathroom. Nathan hoped it was at least clean, although judging by the layer of dust on the nightstand this was debatable.

The sound of the shower made Nathan realize he should probably wash off the stench of airplane, combined with his own nervous sweat and the bodily fluids of who knows how many people. Normally, he'd jump right in with a woman he was dating – but with Meredith, he wasn't even sure they were "dating". He didn't want to push her – he'd been letting her call the shots, which judging by their bathroom quickie and her decisive request for one hotel room tonight, was working out well for him.

He stripped his sweater off, feeling at least cleaner in his unstained t-shirt. His bandaged hand stung, probably requiring more than some cheap plasters to keep it clean. The flight attendant had pulled out the good ones – the ones they reserved for the crew instead of the cheap first aid kit variety. She'd liked him, he could tell from when he'd asked her name as he boarded the flight, although she'd confirmed it at the end with her insistence of seeing him for follow-up. Nathan would've normally taken advantage. After Megan, he'd taken advantage of a lot of women who were drawn to his brooding, affable ways. But lately, he didn't really have it in him – sex was easy he'd realized, but finding something more than a warm body was hard. Finding someone like Meredith was even harder – someone who made him believe maybe he could have a family again.

"There's no more hot water." She stated unapologetically, coming out of the bathroom in her pajamas, her hair still damp. Nathan smirked, noting that she'd used both their towels so even if there was water left he'd have no choice but to use the face towels to dry off, which may have been her intention for all he knew.

"Well I guess you're stuck with smelly me all night then." He said as she sat down on the bed beside him. He'd stripped off his pants and socks, sliding under the covers in his briefs. For the first time, he felt mildly awkward with Meredith. She'd finally let herself be happy. Despite her statement on the tarmac, she'd even held his hand, just briefly on their airport shuttle ride. But he wasn't any closer to knowing where he stood with Meredith Grey.

Meredith closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of cleanliness that came after a scalding hot shower. She was acutely aware of Nathan in the bed with her, his legs pressed against her's on shoddy double bed. They'd never actually been in a bed together, she realized. When she'd jumped him in the parking lot at the hospital, it was in her car, which although spacious wasn't really meant for contortionist poses. She hadn't been in bed with another man since Derek, she realized. That thought should scare her, but it didn't. After all, if she split all the things she did into "before" and "after" Derek, life would be pretty hard to manage.

"We wouldn't be together. If he was still alive now. I don't think we'd still be married." It was the first time she'd said that out loud. She didn't even know why she'd brought it up now. She'd thought it – once the grief and pain of losing Derek had washed away, once Ellis was born and life settled back into normalcy. She yearned for the Meredith and Derek they once were, the loss of the potential to ever go back there – before DC, before another woman answered her husbands phone. The truth was she'd been Derek's shadow for too long. They were splintering apart, the foundations of their Post-it note marriage cracking – because being with Derek and being Meredith Grey were two mutually exclusive choices. As Cristina had pointed out to her, to be with Derek meant being a supporting character in someone else's story. As much as Meredith loved him, she was still her mother's daughter, ingrained with a tenacity and will for medicine that often outlasted her relationships.

"There was another woman. Maybe. And just…so much of me that I had to give up to be with him. It was worth it for awhile, for a long time there was still some form of compromise. But Derek had his own visions of what he wanted and there was no room in them for me to be anything but his doting wife. We loved each other – he was and always will be my great love. But love isn't always enough." She couldn't believe she was telling Nathan this. Something about him made her at ease. Something about this whole situation – the ridiculousness of what had gone on in the airplane, the fact that they were alone out here with no chance of Maggie or Owen interrupting – made her feel like she was free to say whatever she wanted. There was also something about him. Maybe the fact that he knew the pain of losing your partner; that distinct feeling of waking up every morning and for one minute forgetting they're gone, living in that fantasy for a short 60 seconds before the crushing wave of reality hits. That every morning, the wave gets a little smaller but it never truly goes away. No one else knew – I mean Owen and Alex and Arizona had been left behind too, but this was different. There was a finality about death that made the pain a constant, nagging thorn in your side.

"I get that. I don't think Megan and I would still be together if she was alive. It was like fire and ice – when it was good, it was completely intoxicating. But when it was bad…let's just say that despite working in an active warzone, sometimes our yelling was the loudest noise around". Nathan didn't like talking about Megan. He'd spent years hoping from war zone to war zone, meeting new people for brief periods of time, making sure he never got to know someone well enough that they'd ask about his past. These were great lengths to go to to avoid talking about someone. But now in Seattle, he'd gotten comfortable with his new co-workers and even made friends. He couldn't run away anymore.

"Why did you cheat on her?" She was anything but subtle. Having been the other woman, she knew it wasn't always some sordid horror story. Nathan didn't flinch – he'd expected this, that Owen would've told her and that eventually she'd ask.

"It was a messy night. We'd just had this colossal fight – after weeks of continuous conflicts and no way to get some space from each other on the crowded base. Megan was fiery and gave no considerations to how others interpreted her behaviours. Half of our squadron was in love with her and that translated into a lot of flirting, which she deemed innocent. It drove me nuts. I'm not a jealous man, but coupled with the underlying tension and the sleep deprived, hellhole we were working in, I snapped. Called her names, which resulted in her losing it on me. I went out that night with some of the guys from the hospital, including Owen. Had enough whiskey to drown a horse and ended up getting into bed with a nurse from the hospital. Biggest mistake of my life. Megan caught us the next day, on her way to apologize. Then she…got on a helicopter" Nathan leaned back on the bed, suddenly feeling exhausted from this day, from everything that had happened in the last few years of his life.

"We all do stupid stuff we regret." Meredith said simply. She didn't judge him – God knows tequila had made her take part in more than a few bad decisions herself. She looked up at Nathan, noticing his handsome features seemed dulled, his hair flat. He looked tired and despite his cheery demeanor throughout the flight, she knew this day had been a long one for him too.

She slid over, covering the small distance between them quickly. She ran her hand down his jawline, the day old stubble rough against her skin. He looked up at her, blue eyes meeting hers as their lips touched. This kiss was different – not hungry and starved for attention like the bathroom romp, nor filled with confusion and longing for someone else, like the parking lot encounter.

"You know, I never thought that story would earn me a kiss." Nathan grinned as Meredith climbed onto his lap. She silenced him quickly, pressing her lips into his and running her fingers through his hair. She always had a thing for men with great hair, she realized. Nathan's hands found her waist, sliding her pajama top away to meet bare skin. He was growing hard already, with her sitting on his lap, happy to have ditched his constraining pants earlier. She pulled away first, taking a moment to toss off her shirt. Taking the cue, Nathan wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her up to make short work of her pajama pants. Once done, he looked up at her, completely naked in front of him. He realized he'd never seen her life this – their previous times together, they'd both only exposed the parts necessary to get the job done. The constant threat of a curious passerby kept them partially clothed, for a quick escape if necessary.

"Mmm you're beautiful." he said, leaning down to take her nipple in his mouth. She sighed heavily, letting herself fall completely onto him, shying away from his piercing eyes. Meredith didn't feel beautiful these days. Often she felt like a used car on a lot full of new ones – having kids changed you, both mentally and physically. She'd seen Amelia naked more times than she could count, thanks to her sisters complete disinterest in modesty. Even Maggie had popped out of the shower in a daze during their early morning rush for work, completely unaware of her nakedness. She knew she stilled looked good but seeing her sisters and their young, unscarred bodies made her more aware of her own flaws – her C-section scars, the gash from giving her liver to her father, the less noticeable appendectomy scar. All blueprints from a life full of love, death, friendship and family. She flinched when Nathan's hands ran across a scar along her back, a remnant of her last airplane disaster.

"Let me see you." he said, turning them over as a unit so that he ended up on top. She could feel how hard he was against her leg, yet he was being so patient. They'd never had the time for this – it was nice. She rolled them over and reached down into his briefs, the weight of his cock filling her hand. She felt him twitch and catch his breath. There was something so primal about a man in this moment, she thought. Meredith had always loved sex and wasn't shy about it. The aspect of control, of being the one to give and take away someone's desire appealed to her. She stroked him firmly, feeling him grow even bigger in her hand and feeling herself get wet at the anticipation of what was to come.

"You're killing me Grey." Nathan moaned, kicking his briefs off as she stroked him. He hadn't been with anyone but Meredith since that time in the parking lot. This moment had been the source of many of his self-pleasuring sessions lately – imagining Meredith Grey stroking him, taking him in her mouth and finishing him off. And now it was happening – she leaned down and replaced her hand with her mouth, taking extra care to lap at the pre-cum running down his shaft. He closed his eyes, enjoying the fantasy coming to life.

"Enough sleeping on the job, Riggs." Meredith interrupted his moment, sliding up his body with a smirk. She kissed him hard, hovering over his poised cock. He slid his fingers between her legs, causing her to gasp as his fingers found her clit. She was soaked, her wetness dripping down her thighs. She'd been wet before, in the airplane bathroom – he'd slid right in with no resistance despite the hurried nature of their encounter. But this was different; this was for him and not for the exhilarating risk of joining the mile-high club.

"Tell me you want me." It was cheesy and he knew it, but he wanted her to say it. She gave him a sideways glance, having her perfect her disapproving Riggs stare from day one. But it was harder to maintain when he was knuckle deep inside of her, two fingers rubbing that spot inside just right; while she was trying to decide if she should ride his hand to bliss or hold out for his thick cock.

"You know I do." She couldn't say much more, already so close. At the last minute, he pulled his hand away with a wet pop. Meredith groaned – she was so close. She didn't always come from sex – even with Derek it took time and persistence for her to get into the moment and out of her head. Taking it away when it was so close was cruel.

"I think about this a lot, ever since the parking lot." Nathan said, as he positioned his cock right at her opening. Meredith tried to slide down, yearning for the feeling of him stretching her in. He was big, bigger than anyone she'd been with, particularly his girth. She'd never admit it, but even before she'd jumped him in the parking lot, she'd notice it – the bulge in his scrub pants was impressive and she'd wondered how something that big would feel inside of her.

"You don't know how many times at the hospital, I used to think about doing this." He whispered, running his cock against her wet opening, causing Meredith to moan loudly. He was loving this; pay back for all the times she'd flirted but resisted.

"Same. Ruined so many panties thinking about you." Meredith panted into his ear, her desire making her lose all pretence. He grinned, lowering her slowly onto his needy cock. The intrusion was welcome, but Meredith still gasped at being stretched. It had been a long time before Nathan – at one point she'd wondered if she qualified for born-again virgin status. Slowly accommodating to his girth, they both grunted in unison as she took him to the hilt, her wetness only growing at finally having him inside her.

"You feel so good. So perfect." Nathan huffed as she started to ride him, breasts bouncing unabashedly. Meredith was always shy at first, oddly concerned over insecurities he could never find. But as desire took over, he noticed she forgot about everything and her primal desires took over. She was hastening her pace now, testing his endurance. He could've closed his eyes, tried to make the encounter last longer by at least taking away the visual stimulus. But watching his cock slide into her, her wetness making him gleam, his thumb making quick circles around her clit as she grabbed his biceps for purchase – it was a view he didn't want to miss.

"Come inside me." She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. They'd had the condom discussion before in the airplane – they were both clean and recently tested and Meredith had an IUD that so far hadn't given out on her, although knowing her luck she'd be in the 0.01% in which it fails. She felt "too old" for condoms – although she knew this was far from true. She wanted to feel him, skin on skin.

"Are…are you sure?" Nathan didn't know how much longer he could hold off, especially after that revelation. She nodded, forcing her hips down harder to make her point known. She wanted to feel him come inside her, wanted in her own twisted way to let him know she wanted him, because she knew she'd been less than clear about that in the last couple months.

Nathan flipped them both quickly, making sure to stay inside of her and not miss a beat. He knew the Grey orgasm was elusive – even in their limited number of times together, he'd quickly learnt she had a hard time coming from sex alone. Usually he'd finish and then spend a significant amount of time with his head in between her legs, her hands using his long hair to guide him to just the right spot. Not that he minded – he loved how in that moment, she was completely unashamed to ask for what she wanted and he was more than happy to provide.

"Going to…come." He panted out, the last of his reserve peeling away. Meredith was quiet, her face pinched in what he now knew was her own sliding cascade to pleasure. Her mouth a silent O, she was close. With one last thrust and a pointed rub at her clit, he felt her walls clamp around him. She cried out, surprised at the sharp waves of pleasure, pulling Nathan in and drowning herself in his damp hair while trying to find purchase across his broad shoulders. Her orgasm rocked her, her hips thrusting of their own will.

"So…good." He stuttered incomprehensively, finally letting go alongside her. He felt his balls clench and his release pump into her, timed with her own contractions. Nathan felt stars behind his eyes, the orgasm so much sweeter because he knew it was in tune with hers. He slumped on top of her, feeling her hands running gently down his back.

"Mmm that was…mmm." Meredith mumbled incomprehensible, feeling him soften inside her. He pulled out slowly, leaving a sticky trail of their combined juices behind. She felt his cum leak out of her, a testimony to what had just happened.

"You're gonna need another shower. Betcha you wish you'd left some hot water now." Nathan smiled at her as he rolled over, taking his place behind her.

"Nah. Not right now. And you're totally sleeping in the wet spot." Meredith mumbled, grabbing his arms and wrapping them around her. Normally, she'd be hopping right into the shower, hating the feeling of sweat and stickiness that came with sex like this. But they'd never done this before – never shared in the intimate post-sex glow. She wanted to relish it, to feel his large frame wrapped around hers with no disruptions.

"I think I like Sioux Falls." Nathan said, burying his face into her hair. Tomorrow, they'd leave here and fly back to the real world in Seattle. The real world contained Maggie and Owen and Amelia and a whole bunch of explanations. He wasn't sure how that was going to work but he also didn't want to think about that right now. Meredith Grey, at least for tonight, was his and for now, that was enough.