Perspectives

*~Nnoitra Gilga~*

Alright, you pathetic losers, sit down and shut up. If I have to read your stupid stories, then you have to listen to me ripping them apart! First off, I don't know nothing about grammar, so I ain't talking about that. I'm talking about fight scenes and how some of you idiots don't know how to write them. You can't go jumping around in the middle of a fight, trying to say what everybody's thinking all at once. It's confusing! Pick one fighter and stick with him. Show what he's thinking, and ignore the loser he's fighting.

Gin: What if the fighter is a her, not a him?

Nnoitra: Then it'd be a stupid fight, and no one would want to read it!

Okay, so here's the steaming pile I found that some joker decided to actually publish:

Ichigo panted looking at his oponent with a little fear. He knew that he had to defeat the tall espada. He just didn't know how. he was giving it everything he had but it wasn't enough.

Nnoitra leered down at the red head in front of him. He knew the teenager was getting tired and he wouldn't be able to keep fighting long. It was kind of sad thought Nnoitra. He was just starting to have fun.

Ichigo braced himself as he looked for an opening. He had to win. He had to.

See what I mean? See how it jumps back and forth and back and forth? You need to stick with one person and stop throwing your reader around like a ball, bouncing from one idiot brain to another.

Szayel: I think that the word you want is perspective: stop jumping from one perspective to another. Pick one point of view, and stay-

Nnoitra: You already taught your lesson! This is mine! Let me do it my way!

Szayel: You're not doing a very good job.

Nnoitra: At least my class ain't falling asleep!

Now, here's how you should write a proper fight. And before anyone asks, no, Ulquiorra did NOT help me with grammar and punctuation and that garbage, and if he says he did, he's a liar!

Gin: Where is Ulquiorra?

Nnoitra: He had a ... mission ... from Aizen. He'll be back later.

So, here's how the moron should have written it:

Ichigo panted, viewing his opponent with trepidation. He knew that he had to defeat Nnoitra. He wasn't sure how; he was already giving everything that he had, but it simply wasn't enough.

The substitute Shinigami watched as the tall Espada leered down at him, clearly sensing the other's weariness. He could tell that Nnoitra was just waiting for him to finally run out of strength. True, the other would likely be disappointed that the fight was over so quickly, but that wouldn't stop him from killing Ichigo when it was.

Rallying his waning strength, Ichigo braced himself, gripping his sword and looking for an opening. He had to win. He couldn't allow himself to lose.

Gin: ... You wrote that?

Nnoitra: 'Course I did! What? You think I can't write?

Szayel: Why didn't you write it from your perspective?

Nnoitra: Because ... uh ... because I wanted it this way.

So that's how you write a fight scene. And it's how you write any other scene too. Don't jump back and forth all over the place. Pick one guy and stick with him. You want to show what the other guy is thinking? Give him his own scene! And whenever you have me fight, always write me winning, 'cause otherwise it's wrong.

A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I'm glad that people are enjoying this. I hope that it's not too confusing with all of the breaks.