A Bonus Story (blame the novel for this one)...
Title: Language Proficiency is an Acquired Skill
Damn the Coruscanti snobs who never experienced real work in their lives, Lieutenant Riza cursed as she scrubbed one of the hallways of the Imperial Palace. They wouldn't court martial her, no, that would have been too obvious, instead they would reassign her to the sanitation duty at the Imperial Palace, making her clean refreshers after the shitty politicians. Well, if that had been the case, she'd make sure the refreshers shined as brightly as a star cluster.
She kept scrubbing, and out of the corner of her eyes she noticed a tall blue man in a uniform marching through the hallway, blindly staring at his datapad, carelessly stepping on the wet floor she had been still cleaning. Great, she'd have to give it one more take. "Wet floor!" She yelled after the idiot, "Can't you read the sign?!"
Unfortunately, that made the said man startle and he slipped, falling flat down to the floor, the datapad screen breaking apart, the device spiraling in her direction. She caught it and turned her attention to the alien who had been picking himself up from the floor.
Only then she had noticed the rank plate. Shavit.
"I am so sorry, sir," she breathed out, her face warming in embarrassment, handing out the datapad to him.
The alien was tall, blue skinned, with red glowing eyes that looked as if could burn her down with a stare if he had pointed them in her direction. Only he paid little attention to her, his eyes going over the state of the hallway and then finally settling on the datapad she had been holding in her left hand, his eyes lingering a fraction of a second longer than necessary, a clear indication he had noticed the wedding band.
"Would you be willing to clean my Star Destroyer, Lieutenant?" the alien asked dead pan, taking the datapad from her.
What the?! He had just noticed her wedding band and immediately proceeded with an innuendo? How dare he? Alien or not, this chauvinist had been as bad as the laserbrain who got her into this mess in the first place.
She clenched her fists in an impotent rage and without a word she walked over and took the bucket, splashing its contents on the alien officer who had the audacity to insult her in such a manner, addressing her by her rank while clearly abusing his authority of a ranking officer. His Star Destroyer? What a joke!
The officer stood there, transfixed to the spot, water slowly dipping from him, his alien face unreadable, the red glowing eyes staring into a faraway distance.
"You will have to work on your attitude, Lieutenant," the officer said, breaking from his stupor. "And I will have to work on my Basic proficiency. I know I am still wearing my old rank plates but I have just received new orders, Lieutenant, I truly am to be a Captain of a Star Destroyer."
"I am so sorry, sir, I had no idea,..." Riza wished she had her side arm so she could shoot herself in the head and skip the court-martial.
"It is of no consequence, Lieutenant," the Captain said in a tone indicating a clear dismissal, "I will simply deduct the cost of the datapad and the uniform from your salary."
"You are really offering me a job, sir?" Riza shook her head in disbelief. After I've just thrown a bucket on his head?
"Yes." One of the blue black eyebrows shot up. "No matter how much effort you put into your work the hallway will never be clean enough when there are politicians walking on it." The Captain gave her a curt nod and walked away, leaving her utterly lost for words.
THE END