A/N: This conclusion chapter is monstrously long, but I didn't want to break up the action, since most of it takes place at one location.

Kotoko found herself muttering curses in both Japanese and English—plus a smattering of Klingon that she had inadvertently picked up from Aoki and the others. She fumed as she hurried across a pretty much deserted campus. "That stupid professor promised he would be in his office today. Even made an appointment for me to turn in my portfolio! So why would he go out drinking until two a.m. and not wake up until mid-afternoon?! Two and a half hours I waited for him! And tonight is Otosan-Irie's party!"

She paused in her grumbles as a glint of gold flashed in the corner of her eye. Closer observation revealed a brilliantly blonde female making a horrid attempt to be understood in Japanese. Two cornered students were shaking their heads in perplexity while trying to bow out politely from the conversation. Kotoko sighed, glanced at her watch in exasperation, then sighed again as she changed course and headed toward the small group.

"May I help you?" she asked politely in English. The girl spun to face her, and the others took that as a cue to flee.

"Oh! Maybe so! But I came to Japan to speak the language, desu!" she demurred.

"How long have you been here?" Kotoko asked.

"Let's see… um, two days ago!" She pronounced the Japanese words semi-correctly.

Kotoko winced. "Maybe you can practice later. Are you from America?"

"Ah! No, no!" the stranger denied vehemently. "I am from England." She tilted her head at Kotoko. "You speak English pretty well. Too bad you have an American accent."

"You're lucky I can speak it at all," Kotoko muttered. "Is there someone you are looking for?"

"My true love!" she replied, hands clasped under her chin as she looked dramatically at the cloudless sky.

Kotoko's eyes widened and she took a step back. "O-o-okay then."

"No, no," she explained. "Daddy tried to set up an engagement for me with a boring man who is totally unattractive. I've always loved the beauty of Japan and its people, so I moved here to find the man of my dreams!"

"Wow, that's really…extreme," Kotoko ventured. I'd better make sure she knows Naoki's not available, since he's the best looking man on campus, if not Tokyo.

Meanwhile, the blonde girl had continued talking. "Mama supported me so I escaped with no one the wiser. I arrived early and came to learn the campus before school started."

"That was a good idea," Kotoko agreed, sneaking another peek at her watch.

The girl noticed the motion. "Oh! I am keeping you! So sorry! It is just that I cannot find…" her voice trailed off.

"What are you looking for?" Kotoko asked just as the foreigner's stomach let out an enormous growl. Kotoko looked at her with respect. "I see. You need food."

"Yes! Yes! But I don't want Western food!" she wailed. "Everyone is trying to tell me to go to McDonald's or American family restaurants. I'm in Japan. I want authentic Japanese food, desu!"

Kotoko grinned suddenly. "Well, you're out of luck with true love, but I can help you with food! If you don't mind a room full of people!"

"What do you mean?" She looked at her in confusion. "The restaurant is busy?"

"Absolutely! But come!" She tugged the girl's hand. "I'm late! We're late!"

"Late?" she asked as she was dragged along at great speed. "Why do I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole?"

"Alice? Is that your name?"

By the time Kotoko and Christine Robbins boarded the train, they had exchanged their (correct!) names and brief biographies. Chris was horrified that she would be crashing a private party, but Kotoko assured her again and again that it would make no difference. "Plus you'll get to meet lots of people—some of them fellow students—and practice your Japanese."

"Where is that girl?" Mrs. Irie fretted to Mr. Aihara, who was busy filling cups and glasses with sake and beer at the restaurant table designated as the "bar".

"Don't worry too much, Missus," he assured her. "Kotoko wouldn't miss this party. You know that!"

"But she won't answer her phone!" she grumbled, fussing with her camera settings before taking a quick shot. "It goes straight to voice mail every time!"

"She's probably just stuck in a dead zone," Naoki approached behind her. "Plus, it's possible that she forgot to charge it last night. I don't remember seeing it on the desk when I got up this morning."

"Oh no!" His mother clapped both hands to her cheeks. "She could be in danger, injured, even kidnapped!"

"Ever the drama queen, aren't you, Ma?" he asked.

"But look at this failure of a party!" She indicated the restaurant interior. "No one is mingling with each other. They're just stuck in their own groups!"

Naoki glanced about. Sure enough, it was as if the restaurant was the location for several unrelated events. The Pandai executives encircled his father and most likely were talking business. The physicians were also in a clump, discussing medical issues in general and his father's health in particular, he assumed. Funatsu (and what inspired his mother to invite that annoying wet blanket?) hovered between the medical group and the nursing students. Various other individuals who did not fit into those categories either watched from the side or huddled together making obviously awkward conversation. But wait—"Look over there. Kotoko's friends are leaving Dylan-san and are about to join the fan clu—uh, nursing students."

"Bless their hearts!" Mrs. Irie let out a heartfelt cry of joy. "They're almost as sweet as my Kotoko-chan!"

"The atmosphere would probably lighten up more if the food got out here," Mr. Aihara muttered. "What is taking those idiots so long!"

Sensing that his father-in-law was chomping at the bit to run to the kitchen, Naoki placed a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't I check for you, sir? I know my parents want you out here in the middle of everything, but you can't enjoy it if you're worried about the food."

"Thanks, Naoki-kun." He narrowed his eyes. "They'd better not be screwing around back there!"

Over at the corner table, with the best view of the entire restaurant, Yuuki and Nobuhiro sat and played video games half-heartedly.

"The group of old fat men are the executives from Pandai," Yuuki told his friend. "At least the doctors from the hospital look healthy!"

"Yeah, I recognize them, but who are those two pretty girls heading this way?"

"Pretty? Kotoko's dumb friends?" Yuuki chortled. "The nurses are a heck of a lot better looking, don't you think? Well, maybe except for the tall one."

"I don't know. I prefer Kotoko-san's looks…"

"Why does every conversation come back around to her? Oh look, those bakas are going to try to talk to the nurses," Yuuki commented.

"What's wrong with that?" Nobuhiro inquired.

Yuuki chuckled evilly. "I just don't know what those two would have in common with people who actually, you know, use their brains. And don't kick me for that—I didn't say anything about Kotoko being a baka, now did I?"

"Implication, my good man, implication." Nobuhiro shook an index finger at him.

"So tonight's the night, eh?" Motoki teased Keita.

"What's that about?" asked Marina.

"Since Mr. Irie is officially no longer a patient, Keita here is going to confess to his daughter!"

Keita, face flushed, shrugged Motoki's arm away. "Don't be saying that so loud. Someone might hear…"

As if on cue, Kotoko's friends joined the group. "It's nice to see you again," Satomi greeted them. "Are you enjoying yourselves?"

"Ah! It's—uh—Irie-chan's friends, right?" Motoki answered. "Have you met the others?" She quickly made introductions, including Funatsu since he had shifted back over to their group at this time.

"Where do you think Irie-san went?" Marina asked. "He hardly spoke with us at all before going to stand with his mother and that other man."

"Aihara-san?" Satomi asked. "He's the owner of the restaurant and also lives with them."

"Say!" Motoki's eyes widened. "She wouldn't be having an affair right in front of her husband, now would she?"

Satomi and Jinko began laughing, Satomi so hard that she lost her breath. "Not a bit of it!" Satomi gasped out eventually. "They were great school friends back in the day."

"Yeah," Jinko added. "And when an earthquake destroyed the Aiharas' home, they invited the family to live with them."

"How nice!" Tomoko breathed. "No wonder Irie-san has such a princely air!"

When Jinko and Satomi's eyes met at that description of Naoki they burst into another round of laughter.

"Say," Funatsu asked Jinko. "Do you know when Irie-chan is supposed to arrive?"

"Not a clue," she replied tersely. "She was meeting a professor to turn in some project. Knowing her, she got distracted, but she'll get here eventually."

"You're really not worried about her?" Keita asked Satomi softly, drawing her attention to his concerned expression. "She's kind of—flaky at times. I'd hate for her to be in some sort of trouble."

She looked him up and down. "She may be little, but she's tough. Her stubbornness brings her through whatever problems her flakiness gets her into."

The Pandai executives were congratulating Mr. Irie on his weight loss. "Fifteen kilos! That's hard to believe!" Sagawa of Accounting exclaimed.

"It looks good on you. Is that a new tie?" asked Suzuki, Mr. Irie's executive assistant.

"It's an entirely new suit! Mama made me go shopping with her. She said that she was not going to have me go out in public looking like I was wearing cast-off clothing!"

The men laughed heartily at his witticism.

"You know, you're giving me the heebie-jeebies," Jinko suddenly spoke. She backed away from Funatsu and grabbed Satomi's arm to pull her away from the group. "That guy is weird! He was asking all kinds of questions about Kotoko. You'd think he had a crush on her or something."

"No," Satomi contradicted her. "I think it's the other one in the group who has the crush on her. And can you believe the lecherous eyes the girls were casting on Irie-kun? What is the world coming to?"

"I know! And with the prepubescent wonder over in the corner with Yuuki-kun, this night could end in a melee!"

"Was it difficult to lose all that weight, Irie-sensei?" queried Pandai's Murakami from Research and Development.

"Well, it wasn't easy, I'll tell you," Mr. Irie chuckled in response, patting his still large waistline. "And I don't recommend waiting for an emergency to kick-start it!" He eyed his employees. "I'm thinking of implementing bonuses for those who sign up for a healthy lifestyle routine!"

The men looked furtively at each other, wondering to whom their boss was referring. "Are you sure that would be wise, Irie-sama?" asked Sagawa. "We don't want to overextend the company's resources."

"Nonsense!" Dylan joined the group and clapped a hand on Mr. Irie's shoulder. "Pandai is performing extremely well and our leader wants to keep its employees in the same condition. He knows that a healthy body will aid in strengthening the mind." He turned as he heard a familiar ruckus. "I do believe the star of Pandai's leading product has arrived."

Sure enough, Kotoko burst through the entrance, Chris in tow. After she called out greetings to all the parents, she introduced her best friends to her new pal, and Mrs. Irie's much awaited "mingling" finally began. Members of most of the previously separate groups lost no time in angling for an introduction to the blonde stranger in their midst.

An exception to the excitement was the huddle of student nurses. "What is Irie-chan doing, bringing in more competition?" complained Marina.

"And an exotic foreigner at that!" Motoki added. "It's bad enough that those two friends of hers are here, but this is too much."

"Hey, Tomoko, did she call the owner of the place 'Otosan' also? Tomoko?" Marina looked around for her classmate.

"Where did she go?" Neither Marina nor Motoki could spot her. Keita and Funatsu were no help, having deserted them for the new arrivals, but their target was Kotoko.

Just then Naoki and Kinnosuke emerged from the kitchen, each carrying two large platters of food. Chris broke off her halting conversation with Suzuki and grabbed Kotoko's arm. "Who's that?"

Kotoko glanced over. "My husband!" She waved wildly in his direction, and both men nodded at her, their hands full of food. Since she immediately turned back to her three-way conversation with Keita and Funatsu, she didn't see Chris's face fall dramatically.

"Remember, Irie," Kinnosuke reminded him, "the food on the black trays were made with the healthy recipes."

Naoki sighed. "I'll let Mom know. We'll have to watch Dad for sure!" He scowled when he looked back in his wife's direction and noticed her companions. "Funatsu again! And that nurse who was always lingering in Dad's room and that Mom swore was—!" He shook his head. "Why can't my wife be NOT nice for once?"

"Kotoko? She's always nice, Irie. Way too nice for you—but that's none of my business now! I've given up on her. This time for real!"

"About damn time is all I've got to say," Naoki murmured.

The door opened again to reveal Kato, Aoki and Tanaka. Being on the low end of the totem pole as far as employees go, Aoki and Tanaka appeared a little nervous with the large group of Pandai executives directly in front of them, while Kato struggled to ease a large, paper-wrapped package past the congestion. Luckily Dylan noticed them right away and approached.

"Well met, gentlemen!" He offered them a bow each. "Is that what I think it is?" he asked Kato, who grinned and nodded. "Let me take it off your hands, then. I wouldn't want it to get damaged, considering how much we had to pay for it." Dylan stashed it in a corner, away from all the action. "It's a bit of a melting pot of guests, but make yourselves at home. I know that the welcome greeting would normally be given by your hostess, but she's busy right now berating her younger son for something." He jerked his head to the other side of the restaurant. "However, what you're probably looking for is this way." He indicated Mr. Aihara and the alcohol.

"How did you guess?" asked Tanaka with a grin.

"Say," Dylan laid a hand on his shoulder, "I have some money that I'd like to multiply. Could I talk with you later about the possibility of meeting your little sister?"

"Kotoko," Chris whispered, "are all Japanese men this friendly?"

"No," she shook her head, "normally they are more retiring and distant." Recalling her husband's high school days, she chuckled." Sometimes even cold. "She patted her new acquaintance's arm. "They must not see a foreigner as pretty as you that often. Enjoy the popularity!"

Chris blinked at that comment. Apparently Kotoko was oblivious to the shoving by-play going on between Keita and Funatsu for the seat on the other side of her. She thought it was unusual since her friend was clearly happily married—and to such a dreamboat! She sighed deeply, and one of the doctors elbowed a Pandai executive out of the way to ask after her health.

Meanwhile, in the elementary school corner… "I'm so ashamed of your manners! Filling up your plate before the others have a chance!" Mrs. Irie snapped quick shots of the room between sentences.

"But Mom!" Yuuki protested. "They're too busy with Kotoko's friend and the booze. Why should we wait for them to settle down?"

"But we are hosting the event," she fretted.

"It's not as if Aihara-san is going to only serve us what's out there now. I know there will be more food coming anyway. See, here comes Kin-baka with more. Why don't you take a picture of that?!"

Sure enough, Kinnosuke had stepped quickly out of the kitchen with a fresh platter and an aggravated expression on his face. "Boss!" he howled above the various conversations.

"Yes, Kinnosuke?" Mr. Aihara craned his neck to see above the people lined up for alcohol refills.

"You've got to get her outta there!"

"What's going on?"

"One of the guests—some female!—is in the kitchen using my personal knives!"

"What the—?" He pushed his way through the crowd. "Has she injured herself?"

"No, she's doing a great job slicing up the meat I'm about to grill, but Boss," his voice turned pleading, "I spent half a paycheck on those knives!"

"Oopsie," Motoki covered her mouth. "I think we've discovered where Tomoko disappeared to."

"Kotoko! Kotoko!" Chris hissed in her ear. "I thought you said your husband's name was Naoki."

"It is," she said, looking at her in confusion.

"Then who is that?!" Kotoko followed the direction of Chris's pointing finger.

"Him? That's my high school friend, Kin-chan. He's my father's apprentice chef here in the restaurant."

"Oh, Kotoko!" She engulfed her in an enthusiastic hug. "You have fulfilled both my dreams, desu!"

"Huh?" Noticing a movement on her other side, Kotoko turned. "What's the matter, Keita-san?" The young man (who had won the tussle with Funatsu for the seat nearest her) had placed a hand over his eyes.

"Uh, Tomoko-san has this…fetish for cutting things." As Kotoko continued to look at him quizzically, he struggled to explain. "She thought that nurses could use scalpels, and her disappointment when she was told the truth was otherwise—well, it wasn't pretty." He pushed the chair back. "I'd better go help roust her out of the back."

"The things you learn about people," Kotoko mused, then jumped as her companion changed. "Oh! Hello again, Futanshu-san."

"Funatsu, Irie-chan," he corrected her, but her attention had only touched on him for a few seconds.

"Well, if Tomoko-san likes to cut meat, then maybe I could play Cupid and match her up with Kin-chan," she mused out loud.

"No, Kotoko, no!" Chris shouted. "He is mine! You cannot give him away to another woman!"

"What?" Kotoko and several surrounding people stared at the young Englishwoman, who then stood and rushed behind the counter to embrace the unsuspecting Kinnosuke from behind.

"Do you feel my true love flowing to you?" she cried. "I traveled around the world to find you, my dearest Kin-chan-san!"

Wild-eyed, Kinnosuke tried to untangle himself. "Baka foreigner! What are you doing? Kotoko, get your friend off me!"

Watching the proceedings, Yuuki half-choked as laughter interfered with swallowing. "I wish I could sell tickets to this!" he told Nobuhiro as the drama continued with Kotoko acting as translator since Kinnosuke could not understand Chris's heavily accented Japanese and she could not understand his Kansai dialect.

"Why isn't your brother helping her?" Nobuhiro asked. "From what you've told me, his language skills are much better than hers."

Yuuki snorted. "Is she asking for help? Kotoko's pretty independent. Extremely independent," he added, thinking of her investment portfolio. "I'm surprised you haven't jumped up to help her, since you're so concerned. Now's a great opportunity, since she's shaken off the two leeches that attached themselves to her earlier."

"No, I'm not going to bother with direct competition at this time."

"Really? Why? Did she finally make you come to your senses yesterday?"

"I have patience and confidence." He sat back with a self-satisfied grin. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm going to be marrying your amazing sister-in-law once I grow up. We've already kissed and everything!"

"Oh my God, that's disgusting!" Yuuki was about to add a few more insults when he noticed that Nobuhiro had emptied his glass. "Just a second." He scrambled out of his seat and circled around his parents—Mr. Irie being berated by Mrs. Irie for having forbidden food on his plate—and went behind the bar. He returned with a carafe of water and refilled Nobuhiro's glass.

"Really?" Nobuhiro cocked an eyebrow at him. "You just make yourself right at home here?"

Yuuki shrugged. "One of the few advantages to being in-laws with Baka-Head. Ow! Sorry!"

"Listen to Kotoko talk in English!" Jinko marveled, elbow on the table, chin resting on her hand.

"Well, she did take that advanced course, didn't she? Plus having extra tutors," Satomi reminded her. "Hey, where do you think you're going?" She grabbed hold of Funatsu's arm and tugged him back into his chair.

"But I—" he waved a hand toward Kotoko.

Satomi shook her head. "She's fine. Keep us company."

"Good job, Satomi," Jinko whispered. "He'd be all over her otherwise."

"Yeah, but what if he changes targets and gets all over me?!" she hissed back.

"In that case, I'm glad that you're the one who grabbed him!"

Naoki joined the anime trio as they enjoyed the unintentional comedy show put on by Kotoko and her friends.

"Why in the world is the man repulsing her?" asked Kato in wonder.

"She's gorgeous," agreed Tanaka, "in a shiny, Western sort of way."

"Well, there is the language barrier," pointed out Aoki.

Naoki chuckled. "It's amazing how they manage to understand each other. Kotoko has about a 70% grasp of English and her friend has about a 60% grasp of Japanese. Of course," he nodded at Kato, "Kotoko's ratio is that high thanks to you."

Once the errant nurse was retrieved and Kinnosuke managed to slip out of Chris's grasp and flee to the kitchen, the restaurant settled down a bit. Mr. Aihara, wiping perspiration off his brow, thanked Dylan who had stepped in as bartender while he handled the crisis.

Dylan then moved to the entrance podium and rang a bell. "May I have everyone's attention?!" The last remnants of conversation and laughter ceased at his announcement. "The whole purpose of this get-together is to celebrate Mr. Irie's return to health and his job."

The crowd burst into applause. Mrs. Irie paused in her photography pursuits to stand next to her husband while her older son (under her exacting instructions!) took a picture of them together. After everyone toasted his success, Mr. Irie took center stage to give credit to his physicians and offer appreciation to his executives for the extra work they had taken on.

"And let's not forget the loyal nursing staff!" Mrs. Irie added, indicating the group which had reconvened. Once more glasses were raised.

Mr. Irie nodded to Dylan, who retrieved the mysterious package delivered by Kato as he spoke. "I would also like to give thanks to a group who recently helped advertise our products in the overseas market. We were represented at San Diego's Comic-Con by three special people: Saeki Dylan, who recognized the potential of our Racquet Warrior line of products; Irie Kotoko, the face and embodiment of Kotorin, Racquet Warrior; and Irie Yuuki, my younger son and the one who will succeed me as head of Pandai when I finally decide to retire! Of course, now that I've been restored to health, who knows when that will be!" Everyone laughed with him, happy that he had returned to the firm's helm in buoyant spirits.

He waved to Dylan, who came to stand beside him. "And now, we have the special unveiling of a new decoration for our executive office. This was painted by an associate of the creators of the video game, Racquet Warrior Kotorin, which, as most of you know, has broken all of Pandai's sales records." Just then Dylan finished tearing the last of the paper from the package and everyone could see the painting from Kato's art exhibit. "This is a special prize for us. We fought a heated bidding war for it!"

Chris stopped craning her neck to try and catch a glimpse of Kinnosuke in the back. She grabbed Kotoko and exclaimed, "Kotoko! That is you, desu! I didn't know that you were an anime star!"

Kotoko shot an apologetic smile at the beleaguered chef cowering in fear behind the kitchen curtain then turned to Chris. "It happened in a strange way…"

Yuuki snorted. "Well, if that's still hanging on the wall when I become chairman, my first task will be to take it down!"

"In that case, let me have it," Nobuhiro urged. "I was the other one bidding!"

The light scuffle which broke out between the two boys over the incident paused when a latecomer rushed noisily into the restaurant.

"Pardon me! Pardon me!" The young woman bowed at the guests, rotating in a semicircle while clasping a cardboard box to her chest.

Dylan approached her with a smile. "Is that what I think it is?" he asked eagerly.

"Yes, Saeki-sempai!" she bowed again. "They just arrived and I thought you would like them…"

"Absolutely!" He turned to the assembly. "May I have everyone's attention once again? I have here copies of Entertainment Weekly—still hot off the presses, almost a day before they hit the streets—with our very own Kotoko on the cover! Wait! There's enough for everyone," he laughed as several people rushed towards him.

Posed in the shallow waters of the Pacific Ocean, with the setting sun sparkling through her thin dress, Kotoko smiled and one hand reached toward the camera. The headline read: Japan's Sweetheart Sets Sights on U.S.

"Hey, Kotori-nee, they should make a poster of the cover. I bet it would sell out!" suggested Tanaka.

"How about it, Saeki-sempai?" Aoki inquired.

"Mmm." Dylan pursed his lips. "A better one would be this shot." He held the magazine open to a seated Kotoko, laughing just a moment after she had tripped and landed in the sand. "Much more approachable, with just a touch of the original sexy Farrah poster."

Kinnosuke, who had rushed back out from the kitchen for a copy, exclaimed, "Kotoko! You look great as always!" He glared around at the others. "Don't get any ideas, you perverts!"

"Shouldn't that be my line?" Naoki asked, leaning against the bar thumbing through his own issue while scowling at those guests now eyeing his wife speculatively.

Satomi suddenly called out. "Kotoko! What are these pictures? Did you get into a fight?"

Mrs. Irie stopped gushing over the additional red carpet photos and scooted to her side to find the page number. As she flipped pages in her own copy she scolded her daughter-in-law. "You didn't tell me about that!"

"No, no!" Kotoko shook her hands in denial. "It only looks bad!"

"What happened was," Dylan began, "is that the 1-in-100 male fan who would know what to do with a 3D woman broke through security during the photo session. Unfortunately for him, our girl here laid him flat on his ass, and the photographer captured his utter humiliation."

There were "Oohs" and "Ahs" from the guests as they all located the pictures and began to look from them to the diminutive Kotoko.

"See, Kotoko-chan," Mrs. Irie exclaimed. "I told you that you needed those lessons!"

"Mom!" Yuuki protested from his table. "It wasn't judo she used!"

"Yes," Kotoko laughed deprecatingly. "We were in the middle of shooting the Kotorin poses, and I was holding the prop racquet..."

"it was more like Racquet Warrior meets Miss Congeniality," Dylan quipped. "The guy was singing soprano for the next half hour."

"Yeah, they don't teach that in our class. Man, I hurt just remembering," Yuuki muttered to Nobuhiro as he shifted in his seat.

The next few minutes were a little chaotic as Kotoko proceeded to autograph copies of the magazine with a Sharpie that her father managed to locate. Kinnosuke hovered at her shoulder, Chris hanging on one of his arms despite his attempts to shake her off. His hostile glares at Funatsu and Keita, who also remained in Kotoko's general area, were mirrored by colder stares from her husband.

"It's one thing for her to be the object of affection for a distant audience of fans, but it's a little harder to take when people I know are almost on top of her," he complained to Dylan.

"Don't tell me that you're jealous because there's also an Irie Kotoko Fan Club?" he replied, tongue in cheek.

Naoki frowned. "I had a feeling you wouldn't forget about that!"

Undeterred, Dylan continued. "Let's see, in this room alone we have the nurse-to-be, the doctor-to-be, the chef-to-be and the young'un."

"Appearances aside, the chef has conceded the field to me, and according to Kotoko we can discount the last one. She swears that she finally took care of that situation. I'd feel foolish being jealous of a child!"

"Ah, but love makes fools of us all. Well, cheer up, Naoki-kun," Dylan responded. "At least consider that you yourself are the object of jealousy for being the one actually married to her!"

"Except that the most problematic ones around her—and touching her!—" he growled as one hand clenched into a fist, "believe that she's my sister!"

"You know, I think it's time for the truth to come out." Dylan took on a mischievous expression. "And I know how it can be done with the least possible effort. Don't wander off!" he warned as he made a beeline for Mrs. Irie.

After a whispered confab, Mrs. Irie broke into a bright smile and nodded vigorously. Dylan winked and sauntered over to the table where Yuuki and Nobuhiro sat. They looked up from their contest of who could make the most realistic robot from shrimp tails and skewers to greet him.

"What brings you over here, Dylan-san?" Yuuki asked.

Dylan chuckled. "I know what the Dragon Lady is planning—thanks to a little hint from me—and you guys have the best seat in the house. Mind if I join you?"

"What's Mom going to do now?" Yuuki sighed as they made room for him.

"Let's just say that excrement is about to impact an oscillating device," he replied cryptically. "Watch and enjoy."

Mrs. Irie's route throughout the restaurant ceased to be random. She wiggled her way through the guests still crowded two deep around her daughter-in-law and tugged her out. Puzzled, Kotoko followed her obediently as they approached Naoki. Mrs. Irie practically shoved her into his arms.

He looked down at her with a slightly grim expression. "Enjoying yourself, Miss Celebrity?"

"Are you mad, Naoki?" she asked, surprised. "It's just publicity like I did at the convention."

Sighing, he rolled his eyes. "Yes, but they didn't have their hands all over you then!"

With an impish grin, Kotoko asked, "Are you jealous?" When he ignored the question and looked away, she crowed, "You are! Silly!" She then planted her index fingers on both sides of his mouth and turned the ends up in a horrible caricature of a smile.

"Look at her teasing Irie-san!" Tomoko pointed out.

"I wish I was in her place," murmured Marina, eyes narrowed.

"Hey, Keita!" Motoki snagged the male nurse who had wandered back to the group, trailed by the ubiquitous Funatsu, once Kotoko had been removed from their immediate presence. "Maybe Irie-chan will do that to you too since you're so serious!"

Funatsu's forehead furrowed and he appeared to be about to argue on his own behalf for the right to have Kotoko's attention, when Mrs. Irie's voice cut through the crowd's babble.

"Okay, you lovebirds, it's been too long since you've taken a picture together. Kotoko-chan, stop playing with his face and turn around. Onii-chan, quit scowling and smile for the camera!"

Jinko appeared behind Mrs. Irie's shoulder. "Kiss! Kiss!" she called.

Naoki raised his eyebrows in exasperation before bending to touch his lips to Kotoko's cheek.

"You can do better than that!" jeered Satomi. "You're married, after all!"

Thus egged on by her friends, Kotoko stood on tiptoe and pulled her husband's face to hers and planted a lengthy kiss on him.

After the initial stereophonic gasps from the one medical and four nursing students, Tomoko voiced the thought that they all shared, "Incest?!"

"Shades of Angelina Jolie and her brother!" Marina staggered a bit, pale. "I think I threw up in my mouth a little." She reached over and took Funatsu's glass and downed its contents.

"S-say!" Funatsu protested, also in shock.

After coughing over the sudden swallow of liquor, she gasped, "I was the one who told Old Lady Yoshida that she was his sister! She looked at me kind of funny then…"

"Were they never siblings?" asked Tomoko. "Where did we go wrong?"

"Let's see… she gave me her card—with the name 'Irie' on it—the first time we met," Motoki mused.

"But Mrs. Irie said that she was the big sister of Irie the younger…"

Out of the blue, Funatsu joined the conversation. "So that's what she meant…"

"Do you know something?!" Motoki almost jumped on him and he cowered back.

"Um, she told me not to believe that stupid story and that she was totally devoted to Irie. I just thought she was telling me not to interfere with his studies…!"

"We made the wrong assumption from the get-go," Keita stated hollowly.

"Well," Marina spoke prosaically, "there are lots of fish in the sea, even if Irie-san was the choicest one." At those word, Funatsu suddenly adjusted his glasses and took a closer look at her. Ignoring him, she began to glance around the room. Her eyes focused on Dylan, now standing near the two boys, Yuuki looking disgusted and Nobuhiro wistful.

"Don't waste your time on that one," Motoki informed her as she followed her gaze. "He's not gonna swing your direction, believe me!" She answered Marina's silent question with a nod.

"Then what about you?" Marina was easily able to be generous with someone that she'd never have.

Motoki sniffed. "Too flashy for my taste!"

Marina and Keita—and Funatsu—stared at her in disbelief. "Too flashy for you?!"

"I can't help wanting to be the bird with the brighter plumage!" Motoki proclaimed, patting her curly hair. "Anyway, you still have options, Keita. There's the little teenager crushing on you."

"For goodness' sake!" he groaned. "Don't make me out to be unprofessional—and with a minor!"

The three turned in consternation when Tomoko suddenly started blubbering.

"I-I-Irie-san?! Married?!" Her nose twitched and her eyes overflowed with tears.

"Omigod! Omigod! What do we do?" Marina began to panic, then grabbed Tomoko and pushed her to the bar, where Kinnosuke was now trying, in fractured English, to tell Chris that he "was not and never would be" interested in her. "Hey, you! Kitchen boy!" she called.

Chris and Kinnosuke both turned in offended outrage.

"Who are you calling kitchen boy?"

"Leave my man alone!"

"I'm not your man!"

"Quit the squabbling," Marina cut through their argument. "Can you let her cut up some more meat so maybe she'll cheer up?"

"She can't have my lover either!" Chris called behind him as a harassed Kinnosuke led Tomoko to the kitchen. "Because, Kin-chan-san, you are my destiny, desu!"

"Who are you calling dense, gaijin?!" he hollered back at her.

"Ma-Ma-Marina-san!" Funatsu finally managed to get out.

"Oh!" Marina placed a hand over her heart. "You startled me."

"I-I-I li-li-li—" His tongue stumbled.

"Say, I'm sorry about your drink, but I was pretty desperate. Can I get you another one?" she offered.

"Y-y-yes, Ma-Ma-Marina-san!" he said as he followed her obediently.

"That's strange," Kotoko noted as they passed by. "I never heard Fushantu-san stutter with me."

"It looks like he is in the grip of a genuine emotion and not merely mischief and spite," Naoki surmised. "By the way, what was with that outrageous public display of affection just now?"

She winked and hugged him quickly. "Maybe I just wanted to be spur… span…spron…"

"Spontaneous!" Naoki and Yuuki corrected her at the same time.

As Dylan doubled over in laughter, Yuuki wailed, "Oh no! I can understand her! I've been infected by the baka virus!" Then, "Ow!"

Even Naoki cracked a rare public grin while watching the double team of Nobuhiro and Kotoko attack his brother for using the "B-word" one too many times.

Recorded for posterity, of course, by Irie Noriko.

A/N: Thank you for reading to the end! I've already had ideas for a future story involving a pregnant Kotoko—because you know she's not going to sit home quietly and knit booties. Right now, however, I'm working on a different alternate timeline, set in high school, mostly senior year—NOT a prequel to Kotoko Volant. I hope you'll give it a shot when it's ready to post.