The night before we left, I couldn't sleep. I was a little excited to be going back to the palace – I think it had rubbed off on me from May – but I was also incredibly nervous to be seeing Maxon again because I knew that one of two things would happen. Either I would see that he didn't love me - that he loved Kriss, causing me to lose my last shred of hope; or that he did love me but there was nothing that either of us could do – making it even harder for both of us. Chances were that the former would be the case as I didn't think he would ever be able to forgive me after what happened at the end of the Selection, but I couldn't stop hoping, I couldn't let go of that part of me that hoped he would turn around at the last minute and marry me instead.

We met up with Celeste, Ashley and her fiancé, before boarding the plane to Angeles. It was eerily familiar to be getting on a plane to Angeles with these girls, but it was so different as well. Marlee was still at the palace, although I hadn't heard from here, and Celeste and I were friends this time and I embraced her as we met. I gave Ashley a hug as well, she'd been nice enough almost a year ago, and shook hands with her fiancé – a two named Alfred.

I sat in between Celeste and May in the middle aisle of the plane whilst Ashley and Alfred sat on the two seats to our right. May was nervous, as this was the first time she'd flown anywhere, but seemed excited as well and glad to be coming with us. She put on the headphones in front of her and began watching a film that looked to be about princesses. I turned away from her and towards Celeste.

"So, I see you're going stag, so to speak." She laughed.

"I think the pot's calling the kettle black a little there." I laughed back.

"I don't need a man." She said confidently, flipping her hair over her shoulder and I smiled. "For now, I'm focusing on me. I literally spent months trying to win a guy through hatred of everyone else, even when I knew I had no chance." I smiled sadly back at her.

"I know what you mean. I mean, how long have Ashley and Alfred known each other? It has to have been less than Kriss and…" I gulped, unable to say his name but Celeste didn't say anything "And yet they're engaged! Time to focus on myself and my family for a while." I paused, considering if I should ask my next question but decided that she may want to tell me but not know how. "I thought you would've brought your mom or one of your famous friends." Celeste laughed.

"No. Like I said, I'm focusing on me. I don't want to be overshadowed by some celebrity who didn't even have a tiny chance of being a princess. And spending time with my mom is something I try to avoid these days. Since I didn't win the Selection, she keeps trying to figure out new ways for me to 'get back on top' as she says." Celeste rolled her eyes. "How's your mom coping with it all." I sighed.

"She's glad to have me home but none of us are really sure what to do with me. I've started going to a school for people who've moved up a caste and singing and playing music as well to help pay for the bills. We'll get it all sorted one day and then the larger wage will help them out a lot. At least some good came out of this whole thing." I sighed, slumped back on my chair and looked over at my sister who was still watching her film, her eyes filled with happiness.

"I just want them all to be safe and happy. Not worrying about being warm and full. But the only time I've ever helped them get any closer was when I was at the Palace sending those pay cheques home. She'd never say anything, but I think that my mom resents me a little for having to come home, and I hate myself for not being able to be with…him, or even get over him. It's been months, I should be over it by now, shouldn't I? But no," I shook my head and wiped a tear from my eye. Feeling more brimming beneath my skin, I turned fully away from my sister in case she suddenly looked over. "No, I sit at home and pine. Doing nothing to help my case with him – not that anything could be done – and doing very little to help my family. Even though my family are the only reason I went into the Selection – the only reason I even applied. Why am I even going to this bloody wedding? So that I can see the man I love, who hates me by the way, marry another woman? To torture myself?" Celeste said nothing and we sat in silence for the rest of the journey (although she never let go of my hand) as I willed the tears to stop flowing.

I kept half an eye on the little map that showed us where we were and once I had mostly calmed down, I squeezed past Celeste and made my way towards the tiny toilet at the back of the plane to freshen up. I was a mess. My mascara that I'd put on that morning had smudged and my skin was red and blotchy, but I fixed myself up as best I could and forced on a strong smile. I would not be weak. I could not be weak. I was America Singer and I could survive this.

This feels like the natural ending forthis chapter, even though I had planned it to be longer. Oh well, I'll try and be back with the next chapter ASAP since a few of you seem to be enjoying it. Leave me a review letting me know what you think! Much love – chescaannie xx