I've been inspired after re-reading Shahryar by Mindy35 to write a future fic. After swearing I wouldn't start another story before finishing at least one of the others, here I am ... sorry about that! I'll go stand in the corner after posting this. For those of you who want every story to end up hot and M rated: no promises on this one. Also no promises on the frequency of updates here, since I clearly have two other stories to wrap up still! Oh, and in case you were wondering after the Sharyar reference: no major character death here either! Please leave a review, shoot me a PM or tweet me to let me know what you think.

...

1. Introduction

"Sarah, leave your brother alone."

She felt like they had been transported back in time, to when the kids were still living with her and teasing each other incessantly. She'd been warned about sibling rivalry but although she knew her son and daughter loved each other to death, they could also get under each others' skin like no one else could. They were supposed to be adults now, but they were still going at it at times. And apparently, today was one of those times.

"Please, I'm getting too old for this. And so are you, by the way," she tried again. "Come on Sarah, help me get the food out on the table."

Sarah got up from her mother's comfortable sofa and smirked at her brother before following her mother into the kitchen area.

She handed her daughter the salad bowl and looked at her sternly.

"Sarah, if there is any truth to it, Noah will tell us when he's ready. Stop bugging him, okay? Humor your old mom."

Sarah sighed and rolled her eyes but then acquiesced.

"Alright. But I'm pretty sure it's that blonde that transferred in earlier this year. What's her name again, Noah?"

"Sarah!" she hissed. "Enough!"

Olivia Benson loved having her kids over for dinner on Sundays. The apartment had gotten quiet when Sarah moved out to go and live on campus. She had lived alone for decades before Noah came into her life, but she just couldn't get used to it now that her babies had left the nest. She was retired now, after a long, fulfilling but also exhausting career at the NYPD and was finally trying to find a hobby. She had time to read again at last, but every little twist in a book made her wonder if the guy would turn out to be a predator or the girl had some kind of dark secret. The job had really twisted her mind and she was trying to twist it back to some sense of normalcy.

Bickering kids were a distraction, but she couldn't say it was a very nice distraction. Noah was a sensitive young man – she couldn't believe he was 21 already – and his sister knew how to push his buttons. She'd seen a look in his eyes that confirmed to her that Noah was indeed a little preoccupied with a girl, but she also knew he wouldn't tell her while Sarah was there.

Sarah was the complete opposite of her brother in every way except her looks. She had dark hair as well, and people always told her how much both her kids looked like their mother. She never corrected them. Sarah was her second miracle baby. Her mother had been their latest victim at the time, and she hadn't survived the assault. Olivia had made sure that Sarah was taken care of and had visited her regularly after the three-year old had been taken in by Children's services. She'd been traumatized by the loss of her mother and the only one she seemed to connect with at all, was the Lieutenant who had fought to put her mother's attacker behind bars.

It was Ms. Jackson's final act before she retired, to arrange for Olivia to be allowed to take Sarah in. Noah had been five at the time and Sarah had crawled out of her shell in her new home. She'd been a little clingy at first, trying to monopolize Olivia's attention, but things had all worked out and both her children had become strong people who knew who they were and who knew what the world had to offer. They knew now that they had both been adopted but had told her on more than one occasion that they had been adopted by the best mom in the whole world. It made her happy. She was happy. She really was. Most of the time.

...

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"You wanna talk about it?"

Sarah had already left and Noah was helping his mother load the dish washer before he'd leave as well.

"About what?"

Olivia smirked and remained silent, waiting for Noah to speak up when he was ready. They finished up in silence and after closing the dish washer, Noah leaned against the kitchen counter and looked at his mother. She stood across from him, leaning against the breakfast bar, and waited.

"Her name's Catherine."

Olivia nodded, a small smile playing on her lips.

"She's only a freshman."

"Okay."

Noah was in his third year in college already, having skipped a class early on in school. He was taking classes preparing himself for law school. He looked at her expectantly, as if she should have an opinion about Catherine being a freshman.

"Is that a problem?" she asked.

Noah shrugged and looked down at the floor.

"I guess not."

"But?"

She could see Noah starting to shut down and stepped closer to him quickly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you like her?"

Noah nodded, biting his lip.

"Have you talked to her?"

More nodding.

"Asked her out?"

His eyes flicked up to hers and he was a little shocked. Olivia sighed and squeezed her son's shoulder. Time for a life lesson.

"Noah, do you want to spend the rest of this year wondering what she would have said? Do you want to see her hang out with another guy before you've had your chance? What's the worst thing that can happen?"

Noah looked at her with his big blue eyes, begging her to answer the question for him.

"Worst case? She says no thanks."

"I don't want her to say no."

"That's not something you can control, honey. But she can't say yes either, unless you ask her. Right?"

She dipped her head to maintain eye contact with her hesitant son.

"You know, they say it's better to be safe than sorry, right?"

Noah nodded again, clearly wondering where she was going with this.

"But I can tell you, I have more regrets about things I didn't do, than about things I did do."

Noah straightened up a little and the look in his eyes had changed. He was curious.

"What would you have done differently if you could do it all over again, mom?"

Olivia took a step back and leaned back against the breakfast bar again. How quickly the tables had turned. She hadn't been ready to answer that particular question. Not because she couldn't answer it. No. Because she could. But she wasn't going to tell her son that. Not that. So she worked her way around it, teling him that she'd made some mistakes in relationships and that this was one of the reasons she never got married.

"You never loved anyone enough to want to marry them?" Noah asked, and his amazement was audible in his voice and visible in his eyes. "Ever?"

Olivia bit her lip. She couldn't lie to her son, but what could she tell him?

"I wasn't the easiest person to get close to," she admitted.

"Because you have a hard time trusting people," Noah said, and it wasn't a question.

"Hey. Your sister wants to become a psychologist, not you, right?" she joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Noah smirked.

"But there must have been men who could see what a wonderful person you are, even if you tried to shut them out," Noah continued, and the hope was evident in his voice.

She shouldn't crush his faith in love. She had taught him to trust. The least she could do was trust him too. With the truth.

"There were."

"So what happened?"

"I scared them off."

"How?"

Olivia scoffed.

"By being my complicated self I guess?"

"And nobody loved you anyway?"

She smiled a sad smile and now it was her turn to look down.

"I didn't exactly give them a chance to. I ran like hell when they got too close. Trying to get away before they could hurt me."

"Or love you."

She swallowed hard. He was right. Her baby boy had grown up and he was so right.

"So that's what you would have done differently," Noah said, absorbing the message she was sending him about regret.

Olivia looked into her son's honest eyes again and nodded slowly. It was the truth even if she'd left a few details out.

"Yes. That's what I should have done differently."

...

More? Any thoughts on the Benson family so far?