Since I'm struggling with my Boondock Saints fanfic at the moment, I decided to get this one done. Sort of a semi-sequel to I Can't Feel Nothing At All that focuses on Amber and how she's dealing with her present situation. Please R&R! Thank you!

One Dose Closer…

By Sailor Onyx Pluto

All our times have come

Here but now they're gone

'Momma. Daddy. Luigi. Pavi. All dead. I'm the only one left.' Amber sat in her office that was next to Shilo's after everyone else in the building had gone home, save for the cleaning crew. A glass and a bottle of scotch she'd found from her late father's affects sat close to her hand, and the bottle was about halfway gone.

Seasons don't fear the reaper

Nor do the wind or the sun or the rain

We can be like they are

Come on baby… Don't fear the reaper

Baby take my hand… Don't fear the reaper

We'll be able to fly… Don't fear the reaper

Baby I'm your man

La la la la la… La la la la la

Near the alcohol was a large syringe filled with the familiar blue glow of Zydrate that seemed to be pulsing with a life all its own. 'Life. What a fucked up one I ended up living,' the former GeneCo CEO thought bitterly as she threw back another round and poured another. It burned going down but it didn't compare to the burning loneliness she felt in her heart and soul. Sure, she may have had a cushy, guaranteed position thanks to Shilo Wallace's generosity, but it didn't make up for the fact that Amber had no real family anymore.

Valentine is done

Here but now they're gone

She almost scoffed at the thought. 'It's not like we were much of a family to begin with. Especially after Momma died.' She didn't remember much about her mother, Maria, but what she recalled from her brothers was that she was a strict woman but loved her children more than anything else on this hell hole of a piece of land.

Romeo and Juliet

Are together in eternity

Romeo and Juliet

40,000 men and women everyday… Like Romeo and Juliet

40,000 men and women everyday… Redefine happiness

Another 40,000 coming every day… We can be like they are

Come on baby… Don't fear the reaper

Baby take my hand… Don't fear the reaper

We'll be able to fly… Don't fear the reaper

Baby I'm your man

La la la la la… La la la la la

Finishing off the scotch and throwing the glass at the door, Amber glanced at the glowing syringe, almost as if it was calling to her. It seemed as if it was the only way to go now. Picking it up, she admired the color for a moment, rolled up the sleeve of her dark purple suit, stuck the needle in and pushed the plunger…

Matt Polanski yawned as he closed and locked his office after another long day. Shilo had put him in charge of the company's finances and to say they were fucked up royally would've been an understatement. Sure, the organ transplants and repossessions were making a ton of cash but the way the system had been set up for paying the employees, all the other expenses, and then all the personal spending by Rotti's kids had caused a great deal of problems; GeneCo was just great at covering its tracks. Until Matt got his hands on the log books.

'What an absolute disaster,' he'd thought the first day he started. 'I'm surprised I can make sense out of their accounting practices any day.' The whole system would need a reform, no doubt about that, but doing so would take time and a lot of it.

Not having the patience for it anymore, Matt decided to go home for a hot meal and some much-needed sleep. As he walked down to the elevators, he thought he'd heard the sound of glass breaking against wood as she passed Amber's door, but she had already left, hadn't she?

Grabbing the knob, he knocked. "Amber?" he called but there was no answer. Turning to check, the door opened, making him think that someone had broken in and was ransacking the place. However, upon looking in, the financial advisor saw something he certainly hadn't expected…

Love of two is one

Here but now they're gone

Amber lay on the blue-gray carpet as the drug worked its way through her circulatory system. Her eyes fluttered and a smile came to her face as she felt the effects creeping up on her. She was used to the high that Zydrate gave her but this was different; she could feel it starting to effect her organ functions and slowly shutting them down. She had managed to get a higher dosage than she was used to, knowing full well what it would do, and welcomed it.

Came the last night of sadness

And it was clear that she couldn't go on

Then the door was opened and the wind appeared

The candles blew and then disappeared

The curtains flew and then he appeared

Saying don't be afraid

Come on baby… And she had no fear

And she ran to him… And they started to fly

They looked backward and said goodbye

She had become like they are

She had taken his hand

She had become like they are

Come on baby… Don't fear the reaper

As she drifted further into the black abyss, Amber could hear voices calling her name but it wasn't her stage name.

"Carmela? Carmela, my little darling,"

"Momma? Momma, is that you?" she could hear herself ask.

"Welcome home, sweetheart," Maria opened her arms, beckoning her daughter forward.

"Amber! Amber! Wake up! Come on Amber. Don't do this!" Matt shook the unconscious woman by her shoulder, trying to get her to come around but he wasn't having much luck. Thinking quickly, he activated his wrist phone and called Meta, Amber's personal GENtern, to get to the tower as fast she could. He also called Ricky and Shilo to get down there too then went back to trying to wake Amber up.

"Just hang in there. Just hang in there," he pleaded, holding her hand and hoping that she knew someone was there.

"Momma." Amber felt herself slowly moving towards her mother's waiting arms then saw as Rotti, Luigi, and Pavi materialized around her, all wearing welcoming smiles and looking almost like angels at peace. "Daddy? Brothers?" The apparitions nodded.

"We've miss you, sis," Luigi said.

"It's-a time to come home," Pavi encouraged.

"Amber! What the hell happened?" Matt snapped his head up to see Meta rush into the room, carrying her medical bag. He'd apparently called her when she'd been relaxing since she was dressed in yoga pants and a baggy T-shirt.

"I think she's trying to kill herself with a Zydrate injection." He held up the syringe that still had a small amount of the blue liquid in it.

"Damnit!" the GENtern cursed as she scrambled for something in her bag. "What the hell was she thinking?"

"Wanting to be with the rest of her family?" the accountant guessed. He didn't know how right he was though as Meta seemed to find what she was looking for. She waved something underneath the woman's nose, causing her to sneeze but not open her eyes.

"Shit! How much of that did she take?" Matt shrugged. "Rhetorical question, genius. Help me with this, will you?" She handed him a tourniquet and instructed him to tie it around Amber's bicep near the elbow crook. "Make it tight but not too tight. I don't want her arm turning blue."

"Matt! What the fuck is… going on?" Shilo and Ricky burst into the office and were greeted by the sight of their friend and a GENtern trying to revive Shilo's assistant.

"God in heaven!" Ricky exclaimed. "What'd she do?"

"She took this," Matt handed him the syringe.

"Zydrate?"

"Bingo."

"What the hell for?"

"I don't know but we're trying to bring her back." Meta injected something into the raised vein, pulled the tourniquet loose, and waited.

"What did you give her?" Shilo asked, kneeling on the floor next to them.

"Something myself and a colleague have been working on. It's meant to neutralize the effects of Zydrate, although we've had yet to test it on humans. Seems to work on lab rats though. However, with the amount that's been through her system over the years, I don't know if it will do anything." The four watched and waited…

Amber had almost reached her family when she felt something tug her from behind and she thought she could feel her body again.

"Carmela? Honey, what's wrong?" she looked at her mother then over her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Momma. I have to go back. I miss all of you terribly but I still have things to do. I have a new family now." She watched her parents and siblings disappear then slowly returned to her life…

"Amber? Amber!" Matt exclaimed as he watched her open her eyes.

"What the?" she looked around. "What are you guys doing here? Meta? I thought you'd left already."

"I did but Matt found you lying on the floor and called me to come help."

"I feel sick," Amber felt her head spinning.

"Well, you took enough Zydrate to dose a whole dam block for a month! What the fuck were you thinking!"

Amber slowly sat up with Matt's help and sighed. It was confession time. "I felt alone, and I didn't want that anymore. I figured it was time to join the family."

Shilo was surprised to hear this. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I felt like no one cared, so I didn't say anything."

"Amber, if I didn't care, would I have made the deal with you and Pavi to keep you guys from living on the street. I know your brother made his choice when he tried to kill us but you held up your end," Shilo looked around. "Besides, you do have family here. In more ways than one, I think," and she looked at Matt, who was still holding Amber's hand.

The former CEO looked at him too. "Yeah, I guess I do," and she gave him a hug. "Thanks for finding me. I probably would've been gone if you hadn't been working late."

He smiled. "I guess being this company's accountant isn't so bad after all."

Ricky stood up and stretched. "Now, how about at drink?"

"I'm good with that," Meta seconded, closing her medical bag. "There's a bar down the street that's not too seedy and they usually have specials every night."

Matt helped Amber stand up. "What's it called?"

"The Blue Needle."