REGARDING GUS - Part 2

Hazel decided to take Augustus to the Funky Bones, the weekend after he get back from the hospital, he looked weak and was having some difficulty to walk, he was tripping a lot and his limp was getting worse.

As the Waters had told her and Isaac, Gus has an orange-size tumor on his brain, which was making his brain kind of disintegrate. Hazel cried when she heard the news, but prefer to not saying this to her boyfriend.

Once they arrived at the park, Hazel helped him seat at some bench and he give her a kiss. Surprised and happy, she looked at him.

"Why are you sad Hazel?"

"Well," she said trying to sound happy. "I'm not sad. I'm still trying to adjust from our trip to Amsterdam." She watched as he nodded as if he understood what he was doing. "How are you feeling?" She asked trying to change topics

"I... I'm fine Hazel Grace, you worry to much." He giggled, unlike himself "like I said, I'm in a… You seems a bit sad Hazel, you are okay?" He asked, looking confused at her. In response, the girl just shook her head and rest her head in his shoulder, whispering a sad "okay"

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Two days later Hazel and Isaac decided to go visit Gus at his house after hearing that he had broken his wrist. When they arrived they found him sitting on the porch, with Zeus snuggled on his lap. When Hazel and Isaac was walking up Gus looked up and smiled

"Hazel Grace, you look amazing." He said making her blush. "Hey Isaac how are you doing?"

"Living." Came his friends reply. Gus wasn't looking at him anymore. Instead he was looking sadly up at Hazel.

"I have some bad news, Hazel Grace," he said and Hazel stopped cold. "We would have to push back our Amsterdam trip until my wrist gets better."

"I thought-" Isaac started but was interrupted by Hazel.

"It's okay Gus," Hazel said shaking her head. "It doesn't matter." Suddenly, Gus get up, determined.

"Augustus? What are you doing?"

"We need to do something about Monica, she can't go out like this and…" Gus shook his head before having a moment to pause before looking up and smiled as if seeing her for the first time. "Hazel Grace, you look amazing!" He glanced over at Isaac. "Hey, Isaac how are you doing?"

Isaac opened his mouth to say something when Hazel squeezed his hand making him stop. She was fighting to keep the tears from flowing. She could almost feel her heart break as she watched the man she fell in love with while Isaac dropped his head sadly as he was loosing his best friend.

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They left the Waters household a few hours later, after Gus lying down for a nap. Once they left then, Isaac come up with I idea, to make sure Augustus be always remembered.

''what about a eulogy? We can write him and eulogy, so he will be forever remembered.'' Isaac suggested

''a eulogy?''

''you know'' Isaac said ''that thing people read at funerals''

''I know what is a eulogy, Isaac, I just don´t know what to write'' Hazel confessed

''Try something like ''Oh, Gussy, Gussy, you´re the love of my life and I can´t stop thank my awesome friend Isaac to introduce you to me…''' he said, making Hazel laugh. Yeah, maybe it works.

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It was late one evening and Hazel was driving home, after visiting her friend Kathleen, when she noticed a figure stumbling and limping across the street. She slowed down before stopping abruptly as she watched as the figure fell and wouldn't get up. Hazel pulled Philip out of the car before rushing over towards the figure her cellphone clutched tightly in her other hand. As she got nearer her heart felt like it was about to break. Augustus Waters was laying there sniffling and shaking in his pajamas. Hazel knelt down and helped Gus up. As he tilted his face to look at her, Hazel could see the confusion and fear in his eyes.

"What the heck, Gus." She cried thanking God that the neighbourhood road was empty. "What are you doing out here?"

"Wha-" Gus started looking around trying to figure out what was going on. "What's happening? How did I get out here?"

"Gus, this isn't funny anymore." Gus looked directly into Hazel eyes and she could slightly see it in them. They weren't the same Gus. They were full of truthful confusion. Hazel fought back the tears as her lungs started to fight her, making it difficult for her to breath.

"Is everything okay?" Someone asked approaching Hazel who was now trying not to sob loudly as she held on to Gus who didn't know whether he could or should wrap his arms around her.

"Yeah," Hazel said brushing her tears. "My friend here ran away from home. He just scared me to death." She forced a smile as she helped Gus to his feet. "Come on, let me take you home now."

"Did I tell you where I lived?" Gus asked as Hazel dragged Phillip behind her heading towards her car.

"Yeah, you did." Hazel said feeling the guilt already as she had to lie to him.

By the time they arrived back at the Water's house, five minutes later, Hazel was feeling that Gus's recent medical problem was getting worse and worse everyday. Hazel pulled into the driveway of the house and was greeted by a relieved looking Mrs. Waters who rushed over towards the passenger seat and threw open the door.

"Oh, Augustus!" Mrs. Waters screamed her arms wrapping around her son's neck. "Don't ever do that ever again! You hear me?!"

"I'm...I'm sorry?" Gus said unsure what he had done. "Uh...are you sure this my house?" Gus asked turning to look at Hazel who was staring at the steering wheel before slowly looking up at him.

"Yeah, this is your mom and house." Hazel said forcing a smile. "Mrs. Waters, he has a slight cut on his palm from when he fell."

"Thank you Hazel Grace." Mrs. Waters said helping her son out of the car. He still looked confused before stopping and looking back at her.

"You have Grace in your name?" Gus asked and Hazel nodded, making Gus smile. "I hope I see you again. I love seeing an Angel." The girl laugh, getting out the car and wrapping her arms around him

"I love you Augustus." She whispered, but he tried to get away

"You can't do this, I have a girlfriend, she will be jelous if you hug me." Upon hearing this Hazel steeped outside and Mrs. Waters apologies for the whole situation once again

"Okay, that's okay" she whispered and entered quickly in the car, before Gus or even Mrs. Waters see her crying.

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As days passed, Augustus conditions and memory loss worsened, a few days after Hazel found him, he suddenly stopped walking, just like that, as if the cancer had stopped his legs and shortened his movements. Two weeks after the diagnosis, he started to loose control of his basic needs and now, almost a month after the return from Amsterdam, he was starting to not recognise his surroundings.

One afternoon, while Hazel was having a doctor appointment herself, Isaac decided to make his friend a visit,once he arrive there and found Gus watching a cartoon, Mr. Waters warned him that the boy was barely able to respond his own name, so Isaac needed to be patient, besides, Gus was having some difficult to talk.

As Isaac approach, Gus looked at him with a confuse stare and asked innocently "why you use dark shades inside the house?" This broke the blind boy's heart, as the first time he was asked that question, was from a 5- year old kid

"Because I'm blind." He said simply

"Cool!" The younger boy exclaimed, not realising the reproving look his father give to him. "But how can someone be blind?"

"I'm blind because I don't have eyes dude, it was take out from me." Isaac was sad, the guy in front of him, wasn't his old friend

"If you're blind…" Gus started again "how can you tie your s… Sh…" He was going to ask shoe, but forgot the word

"My shoe?" The older boy complete "it's easy" he said, demonstrating how to do it, but Augustus wasn't paying attention, instead, he was looking absently to the TV.

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They were feeding him broths, once he forgot how to chew, on the other hand, , his other cancers wasn't helping and every time he eat, the food come back minutes later.

One morning, Hazel decided to make Gus a visit, in order to see how he was doing, once the doctors said it was better to stop the chemotherapy. She found him seating on the couch, staring at the TV, watching an old cartoon. As she seat next to him and grab his hand, he look at both sides, worry

"G-Grace?" He smiled. It was strange to her, that he only remembered her middle name "y-you lo-look lik-e so-s-some-one"

"I do?" Hazel asked confuse, but suddenly, he put his finger on his mouth, as asking her to keep quiet

"D-don't eat a-any-th-thing they s-s-serve, you, they all rot-rotten." He stammered, forgetting the words.

Hazel looks sadly at Mrs. Waters, according to her, Gus was lost the sense of reality almost completely, still, the girl with the oxygen tank just smiled to her boyfriend and assured him everything was okay.

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The weekend next, the Lancasters gone for a luncheon at the Waters. As the adults and Hazel eat, Gus was just sitting in a corner on his special wheelchair, lost in his own world, while observing the group of people surrounding him, he was forgetting how to talk and when he does, it was barely a whispered, making difficult for everyone understand him.

Once they finish lunch, Hazel sat down next to him. She pulled Phillip close to her legs and gradually grabbed hold of Gus's hand. She felt her heart break when he slipped his fingers out from in-between hers. At least he was having a slight response over touch, that was good.

Hazel keep quiet, just caressing his cheek and wrapping her arms around his waist, trying to push him back to reality, in vain. At the support group, they were praying for Gus and for a second, Hazel wished he could die soon, so he couldn't suffer anymore. Obviously, she regretted that thought the minute it came to her head.

An hour later, the Lancaster, decided it was time to go home and Hazel gives Augustus a good bye kiss on the forehead, promising to come back the other day. To Hazel´s surprise, he was waving to her as she entered the car.

''hey sweetheart!'' Mrs. Waters approached her son and smiled ''do you liked that Hazel come for a visit?'' she asked and it took a second for him to answer, but not the way she expected

''wh… t-this giwl…sh-she s-sad'' he stammered, almost whispering ''s-sh hav-ha-ve s-something h-her no-s-se'' Mr. Waters tried not to cry on hearing this, instead, she kissed his head lovingly

''that's okay sweetie, come, let's go down for a nap'' the mother offered. The cancer was keeping him tired all the time.

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That Monday Gus has been rushed to the ER again, his sister was feeding him, when suddenly, he started to chocking. Since they were hurried, the doctors managed to save him, but, not quiet, it happens that Augustus has forgotten how to shallow and it was dangerous to try mouth feeding him again.

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It was the end, not the ending of the world, but the very ending of Augustus Waters. He was all taken by the cancer, the tumor inside his brain was getting bigger and bigger, causing seizures and depriving him for his senses.

Despite of the hospital rules, the Waters allowed Isaac and Hazel into Gus Room, so they could say their good byes.

Isaac goes first, with his eulogy, telling jokes about memory loss and its advantages "but I tell you this…" Isaac said "when the scientists from the future, come to my house, with robots eyes and ask me to try them on, I will tell this scientists to get out, because I don't… I don't want to see a world without my best friend, even if he became a male Helen Keller, who doesn't remember a shit about me" Isaac sniffed "after that I will put the robot eyes, because, come on, poor Hazel, she don't deserve two blind person in her life. Other then that, rest in peace Gus, you deserve." He said and hush out the room as fast as he could.

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Hazel on the other hand took a few days to go say good by to the boy she loves. She felt a bit coward yes, but the truth was she was terrified, the first time Hazel saw Augustus from the ICU window, she broke down crying and admitted to herself that the Augustus Waters she had fallen in love all those months ago, the boy with the unlighted cigarette, who shared his last wish with her to meet a poor excuse of an author, had died long ago, replaced by that fragile little boy, whose eyes was now unseen for the world.

Still, that morning, as Hazel found herself seating in her bed, unaware of what to do, her mother approach her and hug her, saying that she needed to go say her goodbyes and if she didn't, she would never forgive herself..

This way, Hazel took courage and drive herself to the hospital, where the Waters received her with open arms. Pastor Jim was also there, comforting the family.

Julie or Martha, lead her to Gus room, he was lying there, yes open and full of pain. She seat beside the bed and took his hand, relaxing him.

"A friend of ours said that the best way to keep someone in memory, was writing an eulogy and I agree with him." Hazel started. "My story with Augustus was an epic love story and I will not be able to say a world, without crying like a child." She tried to laugh " this way, I will talk about maths. I'm not a mathematician, but I know that are infinite collection of numbers in between two other ones, some short and others big. Quoting an author we used to like, "some infinities are bigger than other infinities"' Hazel stop to take a breath, as she starting to get suffocated "the truth is that I want more numbers then I will probably get. And God, I wanted more numbers for Augustus Waters than the ones he got. But Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am, for our little infinity, you give me a forever, whiting the numbered days and for that… I'm eternally grateful" she got up and give him a kiss on the forehead. "I love you so much" she whispered, but the only answer she got, was the beep from the EKG monitor.

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Augustus waters died a few weeks later at that same ICU, when his brain shut down completely and the cancer, which was made of him, stopped his heart, which was also made of him. It was almost 11AM, when he closed his eyes for the last time. He was in peace.

THE END