Warning: This is just a test. Call it the pilot episode, if you will. I don't know what it is about KHR, but it somehow re-caught my interest even more than even Beelzebub has ever had it (and I LOVE Beelzebub!).

Since most of what's in bold are going to be spoilers to this, all you (my test audience) will really have to look forward to if I continue is my terrible execution and near outright plagiarism mixed in with an OC main character.

Also, sorry for the raw rawness that is my thinking process:

The twin fanfic in which Tsuna is not separated into two brothers (essentially removing the annoying and insolent "dame" attitude he had and replacing it with an abusive family member).

Rather, the twin fanfic in which Tsuna is dame-Tsuna and his younger brother is just naturally better at everything he isn't (except math, apparently). It gets the audience to be disappointed in Tsuna as much as we really should have been when we realized the main character was very much dame and not main cast material at all. Growth guys...

I like the older useless brother thing going on, so I'll keep Tsuna oldest and make Ieyasu (as most tend to name the other) the youngest.

Same storyline though: Ieyasu is chosen as the next Vongola heir, but Tsuna manages to beat him in the sky/boss department.

Ieyasu takes it in stride. Contrary to popular belief, he also lacks attitude; especially to protect his Famiglia.

He is a bit of a coward in the face of the mafia, like or maybe more than Tsuna.

Babysitter Tsuna stands. Ieyasu is pretty much useless when it comes to children (his patience cannot be built up).

No, yeah, both twins laughed their asses off when Reborn introduced himself. It's not like they don't share some sense of humor.

They are twins who like each other bruh.

Ieyasu will definitely take over the CEDEF, and Iemitsu's position as the Vongola boss' No. 2 when the Guardians are not available.

But that's in the future!

Currently, Ieyasu will be the chosen heir

(the twins wouldn't look different if it weren't for the youngest's position in the kendo club—where he has to deal with asshole Mochida badmouthing his bro all the time—giving him that early hot anime guy look. They'll look exactly the same in the future, which will be hilarious. So many pranks to plan).

Ieyasu's shortcoming is probably how hard it is to put himself at risk for his family (mafia or otherwise).

Ok, I've thought it through. Enough, anyway…

Let's-a-go

Wait, no-

Btw, I'll be following the manga as much as I can. That's just the type of writer I am. If it's not canon, it's headcanon. I doubt I'll add any sort of OC (ha, 'except for Ieyasu, but does that even count, this guy is fandom appointed parallel universe headcanon, therefore just an OOC MC?). Unless it's a watch the story fic, you can be sure of this.

Uuuuggghhh, so anxious to start writing, but I have school tomorrow and I almost missed my bus today, so if I don't sleep, I'll probably miss it tomorrow. I mean, I still won't sleep till 3, but if my mom catches me on my computer, I'm dead. I'm stuck on mobile (Google docs) for now [;_;]

At least I can use emojis….but I keep accidentally auto-correcting words in Spanish, aaaarrrgghhh.

Also, based on the manga, so there probably won't be any Arcobaleno trials. Probably. There WILL DEFINITELY BE A SIMON FAMILY THOUGH! Enma fo life bitches!

Ok. Start!

Word Count: 6073

Any other day, Ieyasu would have been able to win the basketball game. Well, any other day, Tsuna would have probably skipped gym.

Technically, thought Tsunayoshi Sawada, Ieyasu's older twin brother (by 27 minutes, and he would always be proud of this), this was all Ieyasu's fault. If the younger twin hadn't convinced Tsuna to attend gym today, he wouldn't have had to pick his brother when they chose teams.

Everyone knew that dame-Tsuna's team always lost. Not even Ieyasu Sawada's skills could compensate for that.

"Tsuna, pass!"

So, the ball bounced off Tsuna's face, into the opposing team's hands.

"Not again!"

Ieyasu winced, watching as the score gap widened uncontrollably. Tsuna managed to be in the right place at the right time, which was a very bad thing when he couldn't catch the ball if his life depended on it.

Eventually, the team lost.

"Great, now we've got cleaning duty," one of their team members groaned.

"I wanted to karaoke after school!"

One turned an accusing glare in Tsuna's direction. "It's your fault we lost, you know?"

Tsuna shrunk. "So-sorry," he apologized, bowing his head.

"It's also my fault," Ieyasu cut in, standing beside Tsuna. It had been him, the team leader, who chose Tsuna. "We can just take over if you guys really want to leave."

"Hey!" Tsuna exclaimed.

Some of the boys gave Ieyasu an admiring look.

"Don't blame yourself, Ieyasu! It's not your fault Tsuna's your brother."

"We'll just make him do the cleaning," said the one with a mop. He shoved it into Tsuna's empty hands, and the boy took it with little resistance.

"You're too good to be true, Ieyasu."

"Yeah, if Tsuna was my brother I would never admit it."

"Well, he can't help it. They look exactly alike."

The boys continued to chat, idly walking away as they badmouthed Tsuna.

Ieyasu jeered in their direction before turning abruptly to his brother.

"Why don't you ever say anything back?"

"What?" Tsuna looked up from the floor. "It's not like they're lying. We do look alike."

Both brunettes were of the same stature, both with wide brown eyes and with a mountain of hair on their head. Their cheeks were slightly pudgy; their pre-teen vibe was still strongly present.

Ieyasu, however, had muscles appropriate for a kendo club member. He was one, after all.

"You know that's not what I mean."

"Ah, you mean the name? Dame-Tsuna."

"You wouldn't be dame if you actually tried to study. Join a club at least, nii-chan."

"Alright, alright," Tsuna said, dropping the mop and covering his ears. "I'm just an idiot and not athletic."

"You're lazy, that's what you are," Ieyasu said, picking up the mop and resuming the cleaning Tsuna had left behind.

He watched as Tsuna walked toward a nearby window, where there were a few stray dodgeballs that had flown loose after the fifth time Tsuna had failed to catch the basketball.

Instead of picking them up, the boy stared out the window. Ieyasu smirked when he saw a shy smile touch his brother's lips.

"Sasagawa Kyoko is very cute, isn't she, Tsu-kun?"

Tsuna blushed and glared at him. "Yes," he admitted, "she's the school idol after all. It's impossible for someone like me to even talk to her."

Ieyasu sighed. He knew Kyoko was the only reason his older brother attended school. The only interest he took in life.

For that, Ieyasu admired Kyoko greatly. She was awesome if she could catch his dame-brother's interest enough to get him to go to school.

A school idol indeed.

It's not like mom really cares if we pass our classes or not, Ieyasu thought, a worried smile on his lips. Their mother was not strict enough with them. She just wanted her two precious sons to enjoy life to the fullest.

In a sense, Ieyasu felt the same way. He wished Tsuna could take interest in something. Anything. If it took a pretty girl to get Tsuna to act like he cared about something, he would accept it gratefully.

He glanced at his twin again, just in time to see him sink to the floor with a defeated look on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"She's seeing the Kendo club's captain," he said in distraught.

"Mochida-senpai?" Ieyasu dropped the mop, approaching the window. Indeed, Mochida and Kyoko were talking as Kyoko's friend walked away in satisfaction.

"Now there's no reason for me to be at school," Tsuna whined. "I'm going home."

Ieyasu sidestepped in front of Tsuna as he stood up.

"What?! Wait a minute! You can't just give up like that!"

"Watch me."

Tsuna walked into the locker rooms pitifully, his brother following close behind.

"You can't be sure that they're dating! Besides, that Mochida is a jerk. There's no way Sasagawa-san is going out with him."

"Isn't he your captain? You should respect him more," Tsuna chastised, stripping out of his gym clothes and shoving them into his locker.

Well, he should respect you more, Ieyasu thought, remembering the insults Mochida tended to send Tsuna's way.

"He's a jerk," he repeated.

"Whatever," sighed Tsuna, slipping into his shirt. He took a few more moments to put on his pants and shoes before grabbing his bag. "I'm going home. See you, Ie-kun."

"Wha- Nii-chan!"

His brother walked out the gym doors. Ieyasu's eye twitched.

At least finish helping me clean up! It's not like you're gonna do your homework anyway.

Ieyasu had club activities, so Tsuna, naturally, walked home alone and ignored his homework in favor of reading manga.

"Tsunayoshi!"

His mother, Nana, walked up the stairs with a rare serious tone in her voice. Tsuna hummed, too quietly for his mother to have heard.

"I got a call from school. You came home in the middle of class again. What do you plan to do in the future?"

"I don't know," he answered absentmindedly, turning a page.

She opened his room door. The sight of her son lying in the midst of disorder and dirty laundry greeted her. Same old, same old.

"I'm not saying you have to go to a good high school or college, you know."

"Don't barge into my room!" Tsuna exclaimed, putting away his manga.

Nana ignored him. She said, "You can live your life bored, like you are now, or you can live it happily." Her demeanor suddenly changed as she imagined her son's future. "I want you to live to say things like, 'It's great to be alive!' No regrets!"

"Don't say stuff like that in front of people," her son released an irritated sigh, "it's embarrassing."

"Oh my," she said, what a disobedient child.

A voice from downstairs arose before she could give Tsuna the news. "I'm home!"

"Ie-kun is here," Nana grinned. "Then I can give you both the big news."

"News?" Tsuna asked, turning toward his mother, but she was already out the door. He got up and followed her downstairs.

"Welcome home, Ie-kun," Nana said when she saw her youngest.

"Yeah," Tsuna said, but he quickly switched the topic. "Mom says she has news."

"News?" Ieyasu shrugged off his blazer.

Nana clasped her hands and held them up to her face, a smirk that the boys were all too familiar with on. They both held their breath, worry crossing their expressions.

"Tsu-kun. Ie-kun," she sang, "A home tutor will be coming today."

Both brothers repeated the subject simultaneously, "Home tutor!?"

"I found an interesting flyer in the mailbox," Nana grinned, holding up said flyer. She read, "'Will raise your kid to be the new leader of the next generation. Grade and subject don't matter. Reborn.' Isn't it great? I've never seen a promotion like this!"

"It smells like a scam," argued Tsuna.

"I don't need a tutor," Ieyasu added.

Nana brought her hand to her mouth, pulling out another sheet of paper from behind her. It was a test. Ieyasu's math test.

In bright red, the grade was written: 19.

"Don't go in my room without my permission!" a flushed Ieyasu almost screamed, making a grab for his failed math test. The subject was certainly not his best, but at least he was passing it.

Nana danced out of the way, her chuckles mixing in with Tsuna's.

"Pfft! Nineteen," Tsuna snorted.

Nana pulled yet another test paper. On Tsuna's math test was the grade: 07.

"Aah! Mom!" Tsuna was failing math.

Both boys simultaneously made a grab for their respective test, but Tsuna stepped over his own foot and found himself toppling over Ieyasu.

"Ack!"

The twins were a mess of limbs on the floor in the blink of an eye. Nana continued to speak as if nothing had happened.

"It's probably a professional teacher from a business school for young men," she gushed. "I've always wanted a teacher like that for you two!"

"Don't imagine what he's like already," Ieyasu pulled himself up. "I thought you didn't care about our grades."

"Yeah," Tsuna agreed. "I refuse to have a home tutor! I'm not good at anything I do anyway."

"Exactly!" Ieyasu nodded. "Wait-"

"Ciaossu."

Before the younger twin could continue, a strange voice coming from the staircase had interrupted him.

They turned to the voice.

On the steps was a baby wearing a fedora and a suit, carrying a briefcase. A transparent yellow pacifier hung around his neck.

Is that a lizard? Tsuna thought, staring at the baby's hat. On it was, indeed, a chameleon.

"I arrived three hours early," the baby spoke, "but as a service, I'll evaluate you now." He seemed to be speaking to both twins, but his unrelenting stare was mostly on Ieyasu.

"Hey," Nana said, "Whose kid are you?"

"Hmm," the baby hummed, "I'm the home tutor. Reborn."

"Oh," Nana covered her mouth in surprise.

"Pfft," the twins began to laugh.

"I was wondering what kind of person created that flyer," Tsuna chortled, holding his stomach with tears in his eyes.

"You're just a baby," Ieyasu was in a similar stance, bent forward laughing.

"Oh my," Nana muttered under her breath, hiding an amused smile.

"So you're the twin brothers," Reborn said. "Tsuna and...Ieyasu."

Tsuna continued, "Sorry, there's nothing we can learn from you!"

Ieyasu and Tsuna were kicked in the stomach before they knew it was coming. They were effectively knocked out and down for the count.

Nana stared in horror as the small baby then proceeded to drag her sons upstairs, their heads bouncing on each step.

"Well, let's get started," he said. And just to be polite, he asked Nana, "Ieyasu's room is the one on the far left, right?"

Of course, Reborn already knew that.

Tsuna woke up on Ieyasu's bed. He knew because he'd snuck in several times before, being a bit of a scaredy cat and holding a great fear of ghosts.

Also, Ieyasu's bed always had orange covers.

"Ie-kun?" he muttered, sitting up. He remembered the baby, Reborn, when he felt a bruise on his stomach. But what was up with the headache?

He found his brother on the floor, also waking up. Next to him was Reborn, asleep.

He rushed to the baby, grabbing him by the collar, and yelled, "Hey, wake up! I won't forgive you just because you're a baby!"

His headache was forgotten in favor of his anger, but Ieyasu hissed at the noise, touching his own head gingerly.

"Okay, I know we got kicked in the stomach by that baby," he said, "but why does my head hurt?"

Instead of answering, Reborn grabbed Tsuna by the school tie and threw him over his shoulder, slamming him into the floor. Repeatedly.

"Tsuna-nii!" Ieyasu exclaimed in horror.

"Ow," Tsuna groaned as Reborn let him go, spinning him around until he landed on his behind. "What the hell is this baby?"

"I have no openings," said baby informed. "My true line of work is assassination." He turned around, opening his briefcase and swiftly assembling a rifle. "My true job," he continued, twirling around to face the still considerably horrified Ieyasu, "is to make you a mafia boss."

"What?" Ieyasu asked groggily, but the terror could be heard in his voice.

"A mafia boss?" Tsuna yelled, sitting up straight.

"I was assigned by a certain mafia man to train your brother to become an astounding mafia boss," Reborn told Tsuna, aiming the gun at the brunette's forehead. He twirled around slowly, switching targets from Ieyasu to Tsuna and back again.

"What?" Ieyasu asked again, less groggy, more alarmed.

"Hello? Are you alright in the head?" Tsuna asked, making a face at the baby. The baby seemed serious, but how could anyone be expected to believe him?

"The method is left up to me," Reborn ignored Tsuna's question, finally settling to aim at Ieyasu's head. The boys heard a click. "Should I shoot you once?"

"Wha-" Ieyasu fell back, jumping at the sight of a loaded gun aimed in his direction.

"Hey," Tsuna shouted.

"But not now," Reborn pulled the gun down, smiling smugly. Before either brother could properly bring himself to talk, the baby's stomach grumbled hungrily. "Later," he said, exiting the room without looking back.

"Hey!"

Tsuna and Ieyasu stared at the door to Ieyasu's room, the youngest still startled into stillness.

"What just happened?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"I don't know," Tsuna answered, still glaring at the door. He glanced at Ieyasu, and, seeing him unharmed (discounting the bruised ribs and aching head they both had), said, "What a guy… There shouldn't be a next time, at least. Mom probably learned her lesson."

"What lesson is that? Suspicious flyers are scams waiting to beat her sons up?"

"Exactly. Seriously, what the hell was that baby? Good riddance."

"Are you okay?" Ieyasu finally shook his shock off and sat up, crawling next to Tsuna. "You took a beating." They both had, but Tsuna had taken one twice.

"I'm fine. Mad at mom."

Ieyasu gave him a half-hearted smile. "You know how she is. Hey, aside from the beating, that was kind of funny, don't you think?"

"Yeah right," Tsuna huffed. They heard Ieyasu's stomach growl.

"Guess I'm hungry too," the youngest said. "I didn't even get to do some of my homework, but it's already dinner time."

Tsuna got up and left his brother's room to offer him some privacy. Ieyasu preferred to change out of his school clothes once he got home, a high contrast to Tsuna who didn't care if he wrinkled them or not.

Tsuna made his way downstairs, still grumbling under his breath.

"Tsuna," Nana called out when she saw him making his way past the kitchen, toward the front door. "What about dinner?

"Don't want it," he answered in a vexed voice, "I'm going out, so can I have some money?"

"You're going out?" Ieyasu asked, making his way downstairs.

"Yes," Tsuna said, then he turned to jeer at his mother, "And about that tutor-"

"Hm?" The twins stared at the baby, who was sat at their dinner table, already partaking of a bowl of rice.

"The contract states that Reborn-kun will live here until both your grades go up," Nana grinned, gesturing to the baby.

"You've gotta be kidding!" Tsuna exclaimed.

"No way" Ieyasu almost stumbled down the last step, gaping at the two figures eating dinner.

"Be serious, mom. This kid's just a baby."

Ieyasu smiled a bitter half-hearted smile at Tsuna's remark. What kind of baby was this if he could beat up his older (albeit weaker) twin brother?

Whatever the reason—though Ieyasu could guess that his mother just loved children and guests (the more the merrier), and this baby was both—Reborn ended up moving in with the Sawada family as the twins' home tutor.

Tsuna was very unhappy with this result, especially when he was forced to stay for dinner by the baby called Reborn.

Ieyasu? Though he was glad his brother had stayed for dinner, he couldn't help the chill in his spine when Reborn looked at him and asked him to pass the soy sauce.

"Is it cold or what?" Tsuna seemed to reflect his thoughts, (sporting a new bruise on his left cheek and) rubbing his arms for warmth.

The next morning, Reborn followed them to school.

Tsuna did not take it well.

"Don't you have to go to grade school or something," he jeered at the baby.

"He barely looks like he's one year old, nii-san," Ieyasu commented, "let alone a toddler."

"Assassins don't go to grade school," was Reborn's excuse.

"Stop it with the assassination act already."

"Maybe there's some truth to it," Ieyasu considered, remembering the events from the day before. He was walking ahead, so his worried expression did not reach his brother's eyes.

"That's rich."

"You're going to get on my nerves," Reborn said, though he seemed unfazed in Ieyasu's opinion. "You should be a little more like your brother and accept the truth."

"Be like my brother!? I-" Tsuna didn't get to finish his sentence, as he was dragged away from the street corner they were turning and behind a wall.

"What's the big idea?" he asked, but his voice was muffled by his brother's hand.

Before Ieyasu could respond, Reborn was greeted with an adoring squeal.

"Kya! Kawaii," came Sasagawa Kyoko's voice. The brothers saw her crouch in order to better see Reborn. Tsuna stiffened under Ieyasu's grasp, no longer putting up a fight.

"Ciaossu," the baby greeted.

Tsuna jumped, realizing this encounter might be dangerous for Kyoko.

"Why are you wearing a suit?" she wondered.

"I'm in the mafia."

Ieyasu and Tsuna stood, still hidden behind a wall, in stunned silence. Ieyasu had to wonder just how open the mafia would be about their identity in this situation.

It shouldn't be this easy to figure out you're in the mafia, he thought.

Tsuna thought, She already likes the little brat…

Kyoko realized she would be late for school, so she said her goodbyes. "Good luck with that. Bye bye," she waved and walked away in the direction of Namimori Middle.

"Ciao ciao," Reborn also waved.

He turned to the hidden twins. "Mafia seduction."

"Excuse me?" Ieyasu asked, his hand still on Tsuna's mouth.

"You like that girl, don't you Ieyasu?"

"I've never met her," the youngest twin said, but he blushed. Why was he discussing his love life with a baby? He wouldn't even discuss it with his twin before (mostly because it was nonexistent).

"I've mastered the art of mind reading, you can't fool me," the baby said.

"That's such an obvious lie!"

Under Ieyasu's hold, Tsuna had gotten very quiet.

Ie-kun likes Kyoko Sasagawa too?

"I don't like Sasagawa-san like that," Ieyasu continued to argue.

"You admire her," Reborn said smugly, ignoring Tsuna as the boy glared at him. If looks could kill...well, Reborn would have been tickled at best, but the meaning was clear. Tsunayoshi also liked Kyoko Sasagawa.

He was here to train Ieyasu, however, not Tsuna. Maybe he'd find a lover for the older twin later if he managed to fix that dame-attitude of his. He was just like his previous student, if not worse.

"Well," Ieyasu's cheeks flushed furthermore. He couldn't deny the truth. This was the girl that had caught his older brother's attention after all. "Yes, she's the school idol, you know," he decided to say, "but it's impossible for me to go out with her!" His phrasing took an obviously misleading path.

Ah, so Ieyasu knew of Tsuna's crush on the girl, thought Reborn.

What a good brother, but with a giving attitude like that, he would never get anywhere.

(Obviously, this was one the few mistakes Reborn would ever make, but it made for an interesting morning.)

"That brother complex of yours is amazing," Reborn commented. Both twins flushed, but Tsuna recovered fast enough to finally get out of his brother's hold.

"That's none of your business! Leave us alone," he squalled, then he pushed his brother in the school's direction by the shoulders.

"It's finally time," Reborn continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"Huh?" the twins turned to look at him.

"Die," he said, pointing a pistol at Ieyasu's forehead.

Tsuna jumped despite himself, while his brother stilled.

"That's a toy," he reasoned, fearfully staring at the gun's muzzle.

"Eh?" Ieyasu's voice cracked under pressure.

"Go die once," Reborn said.

"Stop kidding around already," Tsuna almost yelled, letting his brother's shoulders go to gesture wildly at the baby in front of him. "What would be the point in killing him anyway?"

"You'll see when he dies," he answered.

He shot.

"Ieyasu!" Tsuna jumped forward, too late to stop the bullet from piercing his brother's forehead.

While dying, Ieyasu regretted.

I'm dying, he thought. Goodbye world. Mom, dad, Tsuna-nii. I wish it hadn't been like this.

If only I had felt this dying will before, I would have at least introduced my brother to Kyoko Sasagawa. I could have seen him without his dame exterior.

I could have forced my brother out of his shell with my dying will.

Maybe Ieyasu really did have a bit of a brother complex, as these were his last thoughts before he hit the ground.

Tears in his eyes, Tsuna quickly kneeled over his body, hands waving above him emptily.

"What do I do, what do I do, what do I do" he chanted, ignoring the loud scream that came from a woman walking past them.

"What happened?" somebody else yelled from behind.

Reborn stood beside him, calmly watching the oldest brother shake over his twin's body.

The first bullet always took a while.

"REBORN!"

"Hieek," Tsuna was startled back. He fell on his behind, staring at his brother's suddenly half naked, but very alive body burst forward. The unshed tears began to spill.

"Ieya-"

He couldn't finish his sentence; Ieyasu had grabbed his hand and pulled him forward, running at a speed Tsuna could not keep up with.

"W-Wait, what just-"

"I am going to introduce you to Sasagawa Kyoko with my dying will," his brother yelled resolutely.

"Why are you naked?" Tsuna was beyond his tears, now more afraid of his brother than he was mournful.

That made Ieyasu pause for a second to look down. "So I am," he said. "Well, it doesn't matter! Where is Sasagawa Kyoko!?"

"Why is your head on fire!?"

He continued to drag Tsuna along, leaving Reborn behind.

"Huh," the baby said. "Brother complex. Well, it's dying will time," he grinned. He'd get rid of that ridiculous complex later.

Tsuna wasn't entirely sure what happened after his brother ran into the bike. Ieyasu had covered his body after that, but he was pretty sure they bounced off at least two things and fell from a very high place before they landed.

"We found her coincidentally," Ieyasu exclaimed. Tsuna, still flustered and confused, wasn't sure who "her" was until his brother continued.

"Sasagawa Kyoko! My name is Sawada Ieyasu and this is my older brother, Sawada Tsunayoshi! Please be our friend!"

He then pushed Tsuna forward, shoving his face all too close go Kyoko's.

At that moment, Tsuna was many things. Frightened, tired, still a bit tearful, confused. Confused, mostly, but he wasn't nearly confused enough to forget that when two faces were so close to each other, lips tended to meet.

The thought of a kiss with Sasagawa Kyoko made him reel back, stuttering out apologies with a tomato-red face.

Before he could get out a coherent word, Kyoko screamed and ran away, hugging her bag tightly.

"Kyaa!"

"Kyoko!" Behind the twins, Mochida (where had he come from?) picked himself up. He then punched Ieyasu, just as the flame on his forehead flickered out.

"Oof," he grunted.

Tsuna stared at the running Kyoko in horror. My life is ruined...

"You've gotta be kidding me, you pervert!" Mochida yelled, chasing after Kyoko. "You're no better than you no good brother!" He shoved Tsuna out of his way as he said this.

"Ow," Ieyasu cried, grabbing his chin. He sneezed, forcing out an unknown object into his hand. "It didn't hurt when I hit that bike," he whined. Or bounced off that wall. Or landed on Mochida.

Tsuna started walking toward his brother shakily, trying very hard to avoid every single stare going his and his brother's way.

Ieyasu began to inspect whatever had lodged itself out, not recognizing the small object. It was growing colder by the second in his hands. "What was this doing inside me?"

"Is that," Tsuna stood behind him, shaking at the very thought, "a bullet?"

"So I was actually shot?" Ieyasu yelled, hand reaching for his head. He didn't feel anything out of place (a hole, for example), but he searched all the same.

"Yes," Reborn answered, appearing out of thin air. "This is the dying will bullet. A person shot with it will resurrect with dying will after death." He held up another bullet, displaying it for the twins. "Your dying will is based on what you regret when you die."

"But, I wasn't really regretting- Maybe I was sort of regretting- Though I was actually just-"

"Wait a minute," Tsuna interrupted his brother mid-dilemma, "What if he hadn't had any regrets when he died?"

Reborn turned around to face the Sawada residence's direction, already beginning his walk back. "I'm an assassin," he answered with nonchalance.

"You mean he could have died!?"

"What?" Ieyasu grabbed his hair, forgetting his regrets. "I'm too young to die, no way, no way." He looked down at himself and finally realized that he was only wearing his boxers. "Ack! This is so embarrassing! I'm going home, Nii-san!"

Without any prompting, the youngest Sawada twin began running back home. Reborn hopped on his head as he passed.

"Ie-kun!" Tsuna extended his hand in a half-hearted attempt to stop him. That looks even weirder than before now…

He sighed, shifting his gaze at the ground. He caught sight of the bullet his brother must have dropped and picked it up.

"Dying will bullet," he said, clenching his teeth with a clack. "Why the hell would he regret not introducing me to Sasagawa-san if he has a crush on her too?"

He glanced at the school building, raising a brow. There was no way he was going to school if Ieyasu wasn't there to force him in. Especially not after the fiasco he'd just taken part of. He slowly made his own way back home, pocketing the bullet.

"I can never go back to school now," Ieyasu cried, holding his head despairingly. He was now fully clothed in a casual shirt and pants. "Why would you do this to me!?"

"I also miscalculated," Reborn offered. "I thought you would confess your feelings for Sasagawa Kyoko."

"I don't have any! It's my brother who really likes her, damn it," Ieyasu almost yelled, almost making a grab for the baby's collar. Just the thought of another bullet going through his head stopped him short.

Reborn took that under consideration.

"About your brother," Reborn continued as if Ieyasu's struggles to not kill him meant nothing. "You should get rid of that complex of yours. A mafia boss can't depend too much on his big brother like a baby."

"Look who's talking!"

"You're also very cowardly, like your dame-brother."

Ieyasu gritted his teeth. "D-don't call him dame!"

"What are you going to do about it?" Reborn's smile was too smug for an infant.

"Just what are you, anyway?" Ieyasu changed the subject, glaring at him in defeat.

"I'm your home tutor. I'm a hitman. I'm Reborn."

Without Tsuna around to deny any of this, Ieyasu felt comfortable enough to ask, "And you said you're part of the mafia?"

"Yes."

"Some guy hired you to make me a boss."

"Essentially."

"What if I don't want to be a mafia boss?"

Reborn pointed a pistol at his head, making the boy jump back. "You don't have a choice."

It was easy, thought Reborn, to make the youngest Sawada accept his role as a mafia boss. Ieyasu eventually nodded shakily, clenching his fists and jaw. Too easy.

It showed a lack of willpower altogether. Maybe Reborn should have felt smug (even as a baby, he terrified his victims), but he was not here as a hitman; he was here as this boy's home tutor.

Reborn was bothered, possibly disappointed. If what dame-Tsuna lacked was outlook, what Ieyasu lacked was willpower. Specifically, a dying's willpower.

"Loser. I'm taking a nap," Reborn announced, leaving loser-Ieyasu to his thoughts.

Tsuna came back to find Reborn taking a nap in Ieyasu's bad. He had his eyes open, but a bubble was rhythmically accompanying his heavy breathing.

Creepy, he thought.

He almost woke up the baby, but his brother caught him by surprise, pulling him back. He was charred.

"If you wake him, you'll die," he said with a heavy expression. He pointed at a pair of grenades tied by a string near his bed which Tsuna hadn't seen before.

That's too much, Tsuna motioned to scream, but Ieyasu had already pulled him out of the room.

"I guess he really is just a baby," Tsuna said once outside, "It's not even noon yet and he's already taking a nap." He paused awkwardly, looking around. "Mom's probably at some event. Did she mention one this morning?"

Ieyasu didn't comment, shaking his head. He took a deep breath and said, "I'm going to be a mafia boss."

A moment of silence as Tsuna attempts to process the information.

"What?" He yelled, "You've gotta be kidding me! There's no way we're joining the mafia!"

"You don't have to join," Ieyasu said. "All you have to do is stand back and watch me become one."

"Why would you even want to join?" Tsuna grouched, raising a suspicious eyebrow. "Do you...like the idea of joining the mafia and becoming a boss?" He could see it. Ieyasu was a naturally born leader, but the thought of having a family member in the underground world terrified him.

Ieyasu paled. "Are you kidding me? This is the worst possible situation! I don't want to die, and if I become a boss I'll probably get in a lot of dangerous fights. You don't understand, Tsuna-nii. If I don't join, that baby will kill me himself!"

"Don't be ridiculous! He can't actually force you to become a mafia boss," Tsuna reasoned.

"Did you not hear me the first time? I was shot in the head! I actually thought I was leaving this world! You don't get it; I don't want to die!" He crouched to the ground, hiding the tears that filled his eyes. "I don't want to die…"

Tsuna stood back, unsure what to do. He was also afraid his brother would die. Just that morning, he'd thought Ieyasu had died, and his reaction to it had been...useless.

"What do I do, what do I do, what do I do…"

What would he do if his brother died? How could he prevent it?

"How come," he began, sitting down next to Ieyasu, not mentioning his tears, "I wasn't chosen instead? I'm the oldest, after all."

"I don't know." Ieyasu sniffed, keeping his head down, but he thought about it. "Do you think we could convince Reborn to make you the boss instead?"

"Are you stupid? I don't want to be boss any more than you do. Besides, he probably doesn't want someone as dame as me."

Ieyasu sniffed again. "Don't say that. Look at how you're handling this whole situation. You're way too calm about it if you ask me. You would probably be a better boss."

"I've been freaking out way more than you have! I had to watch you get shot this morning, then you dragged me all around all of Namimori, and you didn't even break a sweat!"

"I don't get why I could do that either," Ieyasu insisted.

"That's because you had dying will at that moment," Reborn said.

"Ack!"

"Eek!"

Startled by Reborn's sudden appearance, both twins clambered and fell to their side, Ieyasu landing over Tsuna's figure. They scrambled to sit up.

"Since when have you been here?"

"I am always ready," he responded smugly, "and as your home tutor, I will be responsible for answering any mafia-related questions."

"What kind of home tutor does that!?"

The twins eventually calmed down enough to listen to Reborn as he explained the history of the Vongola, including the dying will bullet.

"Dying will means your body is in a state wherein all safety switches are off. In exchange for risking your life by breaking your limits, you can harness amazing strengths."

"Like potential energy?" Ieyasu asked.

"I get it now," Tsuna said, his face brightening up momentarily. "Of course that's a lie! I've never heard of a bullet that could do that!"

"The dying will bullet is a specialty passed through the Vongola family only."

"Vongola?" The twins asked simultaneously.

"I was assigned by the Vongola's ninth generation boss to come to Japan and raise loser-Ieyasu to become a mafia boss," he looked at Tsuna, "as a bonus, his twin brother also gets to experience my supreme tutoring. You should be grateful."

"Nobody's gonna be grateful about that!"

"And what do you mean 'loser-Ieyasu'?" Ieyasu added.

Reborn continued as if neither had spoken. "Vongola's ninth is getting old and he was planning on passing on the boss status to the tenth generation, but the most qualified of them, Enrico, was shot in a feud." He held up a picture, displaying a dead man on the ground.

"Eek!"

"The next in line, Matsumo, was drowned," he continued, this time holding up a picture of a dead man floating in water.

"Gyaa!"

"And the favorite, Federico, was found reduced to bone," he held a picture of skull and bones.

"Alright, we get it, you don't have to keep showing them!" Ieyasu, like Tsuna, was cowering beneath his hands, blocking his view from the dreadful photos. He trembled.

"So," Reborn sang, "the only candidate left to be tenth is Ieyasu."

"How does that make sense?" Ieyasu exclaimed, peeking from under his hands. Reborn had put the pictures away, so he let his hands fall from his face.

"The Vongola's first boss retired early and crossed over to Japan. He is your great great great grandfather, so you are part of the Vongola bloodline, and therefore a legitimate candidate."

"What?" Tsuna scowled. "I've never heard of this in my life."

"Don't worry," Reborn said, "I'll make your brother into a fine boss. And you will be made into someone worthy of being a boss' brother."

By now, Reborn had taken his clothes off and gotten into his nighttime pajamas. Explaining to the twins their heritage had taken all afternoon and evening, discounting dinnertime with Nana.

"Don't be ridiculous," Tsuna yelled, "there's now way Ieyasu is doing this!"

Ieyasu nodded fervently. "Besides, I'm the youngest twin! Shouldn't Tsuna be the next candidate instead?"

"Ie-kun!" Tsuna glared at his brother.

"Because dame-Tsuna is dame, and loser-Ieyasu is not," Reborn answered briefly. "You were hand chosen by an associate of the Vongola, so I have to train you. It doesn't matter which of you I would have had to train, either way, I would have succeeded in making you a fine boss."

Tsuna blushed. A baby was calling him dame—a baby of all things! How low could he really go?

"I-I wouldn't have wanted to be a mafia boss anyway!"

"I'm going to sleep," Reborn informed them. "If you interrupt me, you'll die. Be careful," he sang before falling into his open-eyed sleep.

Creepy creepy creepy- wait a "Stop setting traps in the house!" Tsuna yelled.

"On my bed of all places," Ieyasu groaned. "Now where am I going to sleep?"

Reborn was already deeply asleep, or at least faking it very well, so he didn't respond.

Tsuna sighed, holding himself back furiously. He didn't want to set off a bomb in his brother's room, after all. Or be convicted for murder, that too.

"I guess," Tsuna began with a sigh, "you'll have to sleep in my room tonight. I'll get an extra futon."

By the time he had laid the futon on the floor, his brother had already fallen asleep on his bed. Tsuna didn't mind, it had been a very tiring day.

Besides, he got shot and he found out he's going to be a mafia boss. Ieyasu deserved a bed.

Tsuna also fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Okay, this was the first chapter of what I presume won't be continued for a very long time. I just had to upload it today. I wanted to make the first chapter take the entire first chapter of the manga, but I didn't get to it because...I'm impatient? Meh.

See ya, someday.