I.

Ianto stared out the window as Jack started driving once more. His mind was running a million miles an hour. What had he done? Had he really propositioned the man he had tried to kill earlier that night? An hour ago, he'd hated Jack for all he had done—to him, to Lisa, to Tosh. He'd pushed him through the Rift and sent him into slavery on an alien planet.

Now he was riding home with Jack, after kissing him and suggesting more. Jack had seemed reluctant, but for some reason Ianto had pushed. Just this once, they'd agreed. One night only, then, but one night of what?

Yes, he was attracted to Jack. Yes, he also hated Jack. Yes, he admired Jack and worked hard to impress him. Yes, he also recognized the other man's deep character flaws. So why had he kissed his boss? Why had he suggested more? It didn't make sense, and Ianto was starting to have doubts.

It was a short ride to his flat, and as Jack parked the car, Ianto tried to figure out what he was doing. He was about to sleep with his boss, but why? Because he wanted Jack? Because he wanted sex? Or was it simply because he was lonely and wanted something, anything, to fill the void within him?

In which case, was potentially destroying their working relationship worth it? Couldn't he ease his loneliness and his libido with someone else? Jack was a flirt who constantly talked about his sexual conquests and didn't seem the type to commit…only Ianto didn't want commitment, he simply wanted company. And there was little doubt Jack would be good company when it came to shagging…but what about the next day? And the day after that? What about the rest of the team? What about Lisa?

"Change your mind?" Jack asked quietly. He'd parked the car and was watching Ianto with an understanding look on his face. "Because it's okay if you have."

Ianto stared at him, trying to imagine what it would be like. It would be amazing, he had no doubt. Jack was wildly attractive and right there, willing, and yet Ianto found himself nodding in reply. He couldn't do it. He couldn't betray Lisa, sleep with his boss as nothing more than a coping mechanism, and face the consequences in the morning.

"Yeah," he said softly. "It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now…" He trailed off and looked away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

Jack reached over and touched his knee, leaning forward earnestly. "It's all right," he said. "I understand. You surprised me back there, so it's probably good that you've thought things through."

"You're not…offended?" Ianto asked. "Because it's nothing personal, but after everything that happened tonight…and we do work together…" He was rambling, making excuses, and stopped. Jack shrugged and sat back.

"Offended? No. Disappointed? Maybe." He winked and continued quickly, barely giving Ianto time to wonder if he was serious. "You're right, though. A lot happened tonight, and working together always complicates things. But if we didn't…"

"If we didn't." Ianto thought about what it would be like to meet a man like Jack at the pub. To start a friendship not based on work, or blood and betrayal. To kiss him, to sleep with him, to wake up the next morning with no uncomfortable apologies or excuses. It sounded nice, to be honest. Bloody Torchwood.

"Right," Ianto said, shaking himself from a daze. "I should go." He opened his door and stepped out, but turned back to Jack before he left. "I'm sorry," he said. "For what happened earlier. I don't…I don't know what to say, why I did it…but I'm sorry."

Jack glanced away before meeting Ianto's eyes, his face serious. "I know," he replied. "I'm sorry too, for letting things get to the point where you felt so resigned and angry. For not seeing it. Thank you for coming back for me."

Ianto nodded in reply. He almost changed his mind, desperately wanting to lean forward and kiss Jack again, invite him upstairs, and lose himself in physical release and comfort. But he couldn't. There was too much between them getting in the way, and Jack seemed glad that Ianto had changed his mind. He didn't want to pressure Jack, or worse, be completely rejected. With a sigh, he stepped back.

"Good night, sir," he said, retreating into his Torchwood persona. It always made things easier, keeping his personal life separate from his professional. Sleeping with his boss would have certainly blurred the lines beyond repair. He was glad he'd come to his senses.

Yet as he watched the SUV pull away, he wasn't glad, not really. He was still lonely, still broken, and he'd given up his only chance to fill the empty spaces within him and try to put his life back together again.

Author's Note:

I saw a gif set of the scene where Jack sends Mary into the sun. It occurred to me how unnecessarily cruel this was of him, which made me think of the effect it had on Ianto. This was the breaking point for him, I think. In the Big Finish audio story Broken Ianto has finally had enough of Jack and sends him into slavery through the Rift, with the full realization that he is doing exactly what he said: he has a chance to save Jack, but he watches him suffer and die.

Yet not only does he go back for Jack and save him, but he kisses him and propositions him for more. And every time I think about this, I wonder not only how that change occurred, but what actually happened between them. Did they shag? Did they call it off? Was it dreadfully awkward? Brilliant? Did Jack stay all night? What happened in the morning? At work? What about the control panel at the pub? What about the rest of the team back at the Hub? Did Ianto apologize, explain, tell Jack about his mum? Why does Jack seem reluctant? There are so many questions, I know I'm leaving some out, and I can't even attempt to answer them all. But I have short twelve scenes planned, each a variation on 'What happened next' – some starting in the car, some later, some going into the next morning. Some might make sense, some might seem out of character. Some will answer these questions, some won't. Some you might like, some you might not. The final one will be longer. I do hope you enjoy them. Thank you for reading!