Cheyenne really wonders how people actively choose this life. Cheyenne loves Jax. She loves her brother. She loves the men that she has grown to think of as uncles in ways. Yet, she can't ignore what she has accepted – signed off on – considering the damage that has been done to her family. Her son had been kidnapped. He has been ripped from her arms. Despite how much she loves Jax and believes he means it when he says nothing like that will happen again, she would be stupid to ignore that it did happen.

And she wants to let the moment pass, but it wasn't as if she had anyone really to talk to her about the trauma she has endured in the past few weeks alone. She knows that even when her bruises from Hector fade and heal that what happened wouldn't.

Cheyenne knows that she isn't going to leave Charming. She doesn't really want to, but she knows there needs to be a talk between her and Jax about what has happened to their family. She knows now with having two babies it can't be how it was. The loves she has for her children comes before her love for Jax. It has too this time. She knows that she can't risk something like this happening again.

But it's only been a mere 24 hours since the boys have been taken to Stockton. It's too soon for her to be thinking this heavy. After all, she has two years to figure out her place in this world with Jax and their children.

Cheyenne sits up from the daybed in Abel's nursery. The little guy is still sleeping from his big lunch and despite wanting to wake him up to get him back on schedule, she lets him sleep. She doesn't know what those Irish pricks did to him, but she lets him get used to his bed again. Besides, she is glad he is able to sleep too peacefully. He is practically undisturbed by the chaos that surrounds him.

Because of this, Cheyenne knows that she can't mope around. Not only is Abel and her unborn child depending on her to have her shit together, so is her niece. Cheyenne is going to dive headfirst in what it is like to raise a pre-teen.

So the first thing on the agenda is getting the house ready. With everything that is going on, the house isn't exactly messy, but things could be straightened out. The first thing Cheyenne grabs is Jax's bag that he had taken with him to Ireland. Her hands tremble slightly as for two years Jax won't be here. She's slightly worried what that will do to Abel and them.

She knows the visitations won't be enough at times. She's going to have to experience this pregnancy without him. She unzips the bag and the first item on top is his hoodie. Cheyenne clutches it with both hands as she brings it up to her nose and inhales Jax's scent. She almost doesn't want to wash it just so the smell of Jax can linger a little longer on it.

She hopes that his time away doesn't make her too needy though. Cheyenne slides on the hoodie and is encased in it's warmth as she digs in the bag and pulls out his snapback. She finds it filled with a stack of letters wrapped in red ribbon. Her brows furrow as she pulls apart the thread. She doesn't read the cover note at first as she pulls out an envelope and sees its sender is John Teller to a Maureen Ashby, the mother of Jax's sister.

Cheyenne goes back to the cover page where a small note is written from his father's mistress. She reads:

Dear Jackson,

The truth about your father is in these letters.

You should know John like I did.

-Maureen

Cheyenne thinks – knows – nothing good can come from these letters. Cheyenne's memories of John seem to be different from who the man actually was. After reading the manuscript, she had found that the man John let everyone was see was a lie. It was an image he was ashamed of. Besides, she remembers that John was always gone when Thomas took a turn for the worst. She remembers Gemma and Clay had told them all that it was business. However, as truths have come to light, it was not the case.

However, Cheyenne can't think as to why Maureen would send these letters for whatever reason. Cheyenne had gotten the sense that Jax seems to hate his father. Maybe resents him with how the manuscript how gave him some guilt.

These letters would probably only make him angrier or add to the guilt he is trying to purge himself of.

So she knows Jax hasn't seen these. Despite better judgement, she picks a random one from the stack.

The letter is from January of '93 and as she reads it, it starts out as a typical love letter filled with longing and want. John even expresses his wishes to be with Maureen and Trinity and it hurts to see he makes no mention of Jax or wanting all of his children together. The letter however takes an abrupt turn when he mentions that Clay and Gemma are together and were not hiding it. Worst that he had known he was going to die by the hands of his wife and best friend.

It isn't until the end that John mentions his sons and the words haunt her.

At least my sweet Thomas will never suffer my life. I miss him so much. I only pray that Jackson finds a different path. He already reminds me so much of myself.

Cheyenne throws the letters across the floor as if they burned her.

…

Jax isn't surprised with how the Feds are handling the deaths of their beloved Agent Stahl and the gun-running, hopeful whistle blower, Jimmy O. Jax finds it slightly funny that Stahl is being treated as some kind of martyr.

Although the kicker of all the guys being placed in protective custody, is that the Feds think the IRA might try to come after them. After all, it could be said that Jimmy was found on their turf and there were some whispers of a deal had gone down. It was too good of a deal for men with years of priors to only get 2 years, with good behavior, for a weapons automatic charge with their history.

Yet, Jax will indulge the government as they investigate the circumstances regarding the deaths of people, who in Jax's opinion deserved far worst. Especially Stahl. She was the one that had set of the chain of events for the club's last year of misery. He hopes Opie finally has some closure for what happened to Donna. He knows really the score will never be settled when he thinks deep on it. Despite Stahl's manipulation, Clay didn't trust Opie when he spoke the truth.

However, Jax stops that train of thought.

The club has been through so much. His family had bared the brunt of it and he knows he can't get through these two years carrying any resentment and grudges. In a sense, he has to let bygones be bygones. As once this cozy vacation in protective custody is over, he and the club need to be worried about the Russians.

Despite not knowing Cheryl very well, his concern for her just to being Cheyenne's and Lip's mother, he prays Viktor doesn't take out his frustrations on her. He knows Lip is worried about that as well. They also know that Cheryl won't have any say in stopping retaliation. They just need to be prepared for it.

They need to start making some new friends as they already have small numbers and they can't afford to lose any more members. It's been too bloody of a year and now that the dust has settled from Zobelle, Stahl, and the Irish, Jax knows it's time to finally deal with where he is going with the club.

He doesn't know if he believes in his father's manuscript anymore. He finds it hard to cherish anything relating to his father at the moment. Yet, with Cheyenne and about to be the father to two, he needs to think about what he wants for them.

He hopes he will be able to find the answer in these next two years.

...

She's grateful that for once she and Viktor have some semblance of privacy in their own home. She knows there are guards merely outside the doors and roaming downstairs. But in their bedroom, Cheryl can speak freely and emotionally to her husband and bear the consequences without an audience.

She knows Viktor is incensed. She knows that the club had taken advantage of her in a way. But considering the truth that she got, she can ignore the slight deception.

But her husband can't. Not when he has a reputation to uphold.

"Viktor, please, maybe you can just talk to them. Work something out," she pleads as they sit next to each other in bed.

Viktor scoffs. "They humiliated me. At least Jimmy had my money."

"He took my grandson –"

"Who you never met!" He snaps. "I love you my darlin' wife, but…you are so naïve. Or at least they bring it out of you."

Cheryl recoils.

"Please explain to me why now all of sudden you care about these children you abandoned years ago?"

Cheryl slaps him across the face. "Don't you da-"

She isn't able to complete her sentence as Viktor backhands her with his jeweled fingers. He split her lips and she can taste blood.

Sadly, this isn't the first time she has been on the receiving end of Viktor's brutality. Thankfully, it has never been others than a slap. But this display of violence isn't uncommon.

Her hand comes up to her aching lips. She doesn't cry anymore when this happens. "They are my children. Lip is my son. I'm begging you not to hurt him."

"It's the only thing I will honor." He promises. "Don't bring this up again, or I might not be so forgiving."

...

Cheyenne takes a week off work to get Isla and Abel settled in. Cheyenne is surprised with how well Isla seems to be handling this transition. She knows it's only been a week, but it's going better than Cheyenne has pictured. Or she suspects her niece isn't letting her see the full affect. Isla has been a big help though will Abel so far and Isla seems to like talking about the new baby.

Cheyenne thinks Isla sees Abel more as a baby brother than cousin. It's kind of sad that Lip hasn't had more children as he is a wonderful father, but it is also hard to imagine him having them when Isla is enough for her brother.

Yet, despite the relative calm of the week, even with Gemma already going crazy on house arrest, today is particularly hard.

Fawn is officially leaving Charming for good. She is going to head down to see her mom and Fawn before picking a place by putting her finger blindly on a map. Cheyenne is holding Abel tightly as she watches Isla and Fawn say goodbye.

Both of tears streaming down their cheeks, Fawn has been more of a mother to Isla than Nina ever has. Cheyenne knows that even if Fawn won't admit it is that she is a mother to Isla. She holds a place in Isla heart that Nina can never manage to reach. Cheyenne knows that Fawn had wanted to take Isla, but they all know that nothing will ever separate Lip from Isla.

The two separate as Isla can't contain her sobs. Fawn makes her way to Abel and her. The doctor passes her son over to his aunt, who clutches him tightly.

"I can stay," Fawn tells her.

As much as Cheyenne would love to have Fawn here with her for this pregnancy she knows it's a bad idea. "Go now or you'll never leave." She advises her friend. As long as the club is involved there will never probably seem like a right time for Fawn to leave.

"Is this selfish of me?" More tears spring from Fawn's bright blue eyes as she passes Abel back.

Cheyenne shakes her head.

Fawn wipes the tears from her cheeks. "Promise me that if something happens or if you need me that you'll call. You know I'll be back in a heartbeat."

"I know, Fawn."

Fawn embraces her in a tight hug, which makes Abel squeal. "Take care of Lip, okay. Tell him I'm sorry it wasn't enough okay."

"Fuck Fawn," Cheyenne says hoarsely as tears begin streaming down her face. She wonders if this is how her friend felt when she left for college and had no idea if she would return.

"I'll call all the time. And I'll come back when you get close to your due date and Isla's and Abel's birthday."

Cheyenne nods her head before she lets go of her friend. "I'll see you later, yeah."

Fawn smiles sadly. "Of course."

Fawns walks away and embraces Isla tightly one more time before getting in her car.

Isla comes and stands next to her aunt as Fawn gives them one last wave from the car. Cheyenne puts her arm around her niece's shoulder and squeezes her for comfort.

"This sucks," Isla says.

"I know."

…

Cheyenne almost panics when she comes home from a shift from work to find the kids gone. In fact, her mind goes haywire and she assumes the worst. Her mind goes to the Irish or someone has kidnapped not only her son, but niece. Yet, her heart settles as she digs in her purse for her phone as she finds a message from Lyla saying the kids are with her and Gemma. As she walks into the kitchen, she even finds a note from Neeta explaining Gemma's demand to see her grandbabies for an impromptu sleepover.

She's a little bit annoyed by the sudden sleepover, as she knows Neeta takes Abel over in the morning to Gemma's every day. Isla bounces back and forth from hanging with Gemma, the Winston's, or some friends from dance.

But nearing almost a month with the boys inside, it's the first time she is in an empty house. She finds that she doesn't like it that much.

After a quick shower, Cheyenne tries to find something eat when a knock comes from her door. Despite the relative calm of Charming, with all that she has experienced, paranoia is hard to erase.

"Chey, it's me." She hears through the door.

She sighs in relief at Opie's voice as she opens the door. She instantly brings her friend into a hug. Since the boys have gone inside, Opie is acting President. She knows that he has been busy in handling the transition and securing the boys' protection. She knows there will be blowback for the ruse they played with the Russians. In fact, she's surprised that she hasn't heard from her mother.

But what really gets her attention is the smell of food and Opie holds up a bag.

"Phil has kept me tightly informed of your schedule and what the kid likes to eat," Opie explains as he enters the house.

Cheyenne almost rolls her eyes and somewhat amused that the prospect, Filthy Phil, has memorized her food palette.

"I take it Phil is with Gemma and Abel," she questions as she begins unloading the food.

Opie grabs some plates. "Gem's already driving Miles crazy. Decided to have the boys go in shifts. Although Jax prefers to have Phil on you and Abel."

"He's sweet." A giant loveable Teddy Bear really as she thinks about the gigantic kid. Abel already loves him.

Opie snorts. "Wait till I tell Jax that."

A pang hits her chest. Opie seems to sense his misstep. "Shit, sorry Chey."

Cheyenne shakes her head. "Have you heard anything about visitation?"

The boys had gone in early July and now it was working its way into the middle of August. Pretty soon summer will be over and Isla will be starting school. Abel is growing older as he nears 9 months. At this point, Abel knows his father isn't here. There are times he just looks around the house expecting Jax. Then there is this certain cry that she knows is him seeming to understand that his Daddy isn't here.

"We're thinking by the end of the month. But it's pretty standard even with the investigation they had about Stahl and Jimmy. You shouldn't worry Cheyenne. It isn't good for you or the baby."

Cheyenne huffs as she joins Opie at the table. "How are you and Lyla?"

Opie shrugs his shoulders. Cheyenne doesn't take that as a good sign. "Ope."

"Right now, we're debating on whether or not to buy a house."

"What's wrong with your house?" Cheyenne questions him.

"I want a fresh start."

Cheyenne's heart breaks a little even more so with that fact Opie is pushing for the new house. However, she wonders if this is for them as a couple or more so with Opie trying to move on from Donna. She has no doubt that he loves Lyla, but nothing changes the fact Lyla isn't Donna. "How you doing after Stahl…and all that?" She asks quietly.

Opie sighs as he thinks back to that day. He has replayed it a lot. He can still hear Stahl's cries in his ears as he sat in the backseat. He thinks about how he had held the same make and model of the gun that ripped his wife away from him. Yet, despite getting rid of the woman that planted the seed of Donna's murder, it didn't change the fact; Stahl wasn't the one who had put the hit out on his wife. In fact, those bullets that had ended his wife's life were for him. Clay and Tig held and pulled the trigger. And no matter what nothing he does will ever bring Donna back.

And he feels a weird mixture of guilt and shame.

He loves Lyla. She's sweet, means well, and someone who is entirely different than Donna. The spectrum of how far apart is so wide it's too much of a stark contrast to make him forget or try to appreciate the difference.

When he proposed to her, he had meant it. With the plan for Stahl underway and Gemma's words of advice, he had known that it was a step in the right direction. Yet, nearly a month later, he thinks he has gotten cold feet. He hadn't even known that it was possible, but he was wondering if he was making the right move by marrying her. After all, it wasn't only her that would get hurt, but their children. Ellie, Kenny, and Piper all got along surprisingly well. He had been surprised with how easily Ellie and Kenny had welcomed Lyla in. Even his Dad has grown to love her.

He loves her, but he isn't sure it's enough not with Donna still heavy in his heart.

And he thinks a new house would help with that. If he is going to move on, he needs to start letting go of the past – all the things that are connected to Donna. Yet, it seems Lyla doesn't see it or she doesn't want to see it.

"Nothing will bring her back," Opie replies. "Some days, I'm sad. Real sad. I feel bad I put Lyla through that. I worry though that it would fade…in time."

"It won't, Opie. Some days will just be easier."

"I just hope what I can give is enough."

"Donna would want you to be happy, Opie. So let yourself be."

...

"Are you sure you're alright taking the bus? I can drop you off or –"

"It's fine, Auntie." Isla assures. With her dad being in prison, Auntie Chey being busy with Abel and work, Uncle Opie being acting President to the club, Isla and Ellie had both agreed that to help their family out, they would take the bus to school. It left the adults one less thing to worry about and it would also lighten the workload for Neeta. They all have been aware of how the house arrest for Gemma been going. Gemma is latching onto anyone for social interaction and at this point, Isla is surprised her aunt and Gemma haven't gotten into fight over Gemma's need of demanding Abel all the time.

Besides, she's starting 6th grade under different circumstances. She isn't going to deny that it's been a rough year for her family. With her dad in prison, she knows that it's time that she start's being more independent out of necessity. She's already prepared for the whispers and stares this first day. After all, it's been all over the Charming Gazette how the club's absence has been good for Charming. With Hale, predicted to win for the Mayor bid, he is free to propose all types of land development deals without the interference of the club. There wasn't much they could do with the majority of them inside. Isla knows her aunt would be shocked that she has been following the news so closely.

"Okay, well let me at least get some pictures." Cheyenne says as she balances the camera and Abel.

Abel throws her a smile. It's a contrast to the usually red hot face these past few days as some teeth have been making him cranky. Now with Uncle Jax gone, it's strange seeing how Abel is his carbon copy.

Isla poses for the camera and even does a few funny ones for her aunt to send to her dad. Isla's heart pangs at the thought of her dad. Usually on the first day of school, her dad would take her to Lumpy's for a big breakfast before he would drop her off. It was their own tradition as her would brag to the elderly women in Lumpy's about what grade she was in. Then after school, he would pick her up and take her out to eat at Lumpy's again. It was a simple redundant tradition, but one she held dearly.

And now as it bleeds into September very soon it's getting hard to just comparing her dad's lengthy prison sentence to him being on a long run. After all, they have yet been able to visit her dad or uncle since lock up. They've only received some letters and a couple phone calls.

"Do you know when we'll be able to see them?" She asks her aunt.

"Hopefully soon. Lowen is doing everything she can to speed up the process."

Isla nods her head. "Here let me take pictures with Abel."

…

It isn't until after Labor Day, that they get the news they are allowed to visit the boys. They got the news the previous Thursday and now in time for the holiday they can see the men in their lives.

Of course, before heading out, Cheyenne stops by Gemma's.

Cheyenne can admit it's been slightly hard looking at Gemma considering the one letter she read. It's hard to believe that despite the problems she and John would have had that she would kill him. Gemma never hesitates in telling others how much she loved her first husband – the father of her children. So she can't understand as to why or what would have Gemma plotting to kill her husband. She finds that she really doesn't want to know. Because if she thinks hard and long on it, her dad comes into the picture and she already knows Clay played a heavy head in his death. Despite his claims of her dad being a junkie rat, she knows there more to it as it drove her mother away. And if anyone knows the truth, it would be Gemma. After all she is the gatekeeper to many secrets.

But if anything she can't deny that Gemma loves her son and she has to wait six months to see him.

Cheyenne can tell it is taking everything in Gemma to not sabotage the monitor or to beg and plead to see her family for the first time.

Gemma presses a kiss to Abel's head. "Just remember that the first visit is always the hardest."

Cheyenne nods her head.

…

Opie leads them to Stockton. Considering with how the guys only receive an hour's visitation it had been decided that Lip's visits would be with Isla and Opie, as she needed to be with an adult. Cheyenne and Abel would get their full hour with Jax. Then Chibs, who is acting VP, would spend the hour with Clay giving him updates on the club. And visits are planned for every Friday after Isla gets out of school after this one.

Since Cheyenne had visited Opie in Chino, she is familiar with the waiting process. Despite booking in advance, it seems the prison makes you wait forever in seeing your loved one.

Cheyenne looks over at Isla, who has been quiet since the morning. She knows the young girl is anxious to see her father as this is the first time the two of them have ever been separated. She just hates that Isla has to get used to this already. At least, Abel is young enough that he won't remember, but Isla will.

Soon their names are called.

…

The visiting room is packed and she thinks it's the only reason she and Jax haven't been yelled out to separate. She thinks to Jax tightly and doesn't care about the tears that are making her vision blurry as she pulls back and gives him a burning kiss.

It's been almost two months since she last seen him as the Feds took him away.

"I'm okay," he assures as they pull back and his thumbs wipe some of the tears off her face.

Cheyenne doesn't trust to open her mouth for the fear of ugly sobs escaping. Instead, she passes over Abel, who Jax takes eagerly. She watches as the little boy eyes his father warily. Cheyenne almost laughs as the boy slaps Jax in the cheek with his small palm.

"I guess I know how he feels," Jax says.

Cheyenne gives him a small smile before she turns to the table a few feet away where her brother sits. He is clutching a sobbing Isla as Opie watches helplessly. Cheyenne blows her brother a kiss and he gives her a nod.

Cheyenne joins Jax at his table and sits next to him. It seems his time in lock up hasn't improved his grooming habits as he is rocking a beard and his hair is up in a mini bun. She twirls her finger in his beard.

"I know. I look like shit."

"I don't mind it."

"How's my other son?"

Cheyenne rolls her eyes, but her hands go down to her belly. Unlike with Abel, Cheyenne is showing pretty quickly with this pregnancy. "Our girl is healthy. Everything is progressing as normal."

"That's good. I'm sorry –"

"Jax, it's okay." She interrupts.

"Fuck, I missed you so much, Chey," he admits. She knows he itches to reach out to her, but do to protocol he can't.

…

The visit goes by faster than anyone of them would like. Cheyenne is sitting in the passenger seat of the car as she looks at the passing scenery. As they move further away from the prison, Cheyenne wonders how she will make it these two years with only one hour visits.

She can't help the tears that fall.