"Stigmatized"
By: Na-chan
Disclaimer: Obviously, CCS is not mine. It's copyrighted by CLAMP and Kodansha. The song Stigmatized is by The Calling.
Author's Notes: Yep, my 2nd fic! Highly inspired by the poem "Soledad" by Angela Manalang-Gloria. It's a great poem but I can't post it since that would be plagiarism.
"Talking"
'Thinking'
~Song~
Chapter 1: Reminisce
A bamboo. She, Tomoyo Daidouji had been likened to a member of the grass family. It was a far cry from the occasional comparisons of beauty she was always showered upon. He was the first one to be able to describe her beyond the physical appearance. And yet the comparison was so precise... it scared her. How he could practically see through her as if she was transparent was too much for her. Maybe she would have found out if she had changed her mind back then...
*******************************************************************************************
Year 1871, Meiji
The sun peeked its orange rays from the horizon, in an attempt to add warm colors to the neutral blanket of dark blue sky. Its luminance penetrated the paper sliding doors of the Daidouji household and reached the heavy eyelids of the ojousan of the house.
Tomoyo awoke minutes later after a good night's sleep. It was ten after seven, not too early and definitely not too late. But a few months back, time did not matter to her. She used to pass the majority of her days at home, staring intently at one of the walls surrounding their house as if trying to burn a hole through it.
She hated those walls. Even though they kept dangerous criminals from entering their humble abode, they also shielded civilization from her observant eyes. She was not allowed to go out of the gates, let alone go to town.
The only time was given permission to leave her inner sanctum and venture beyond those walls was when her mother brought her to town. And that was a rare occasion at the Daidouji household. In Tomoyo's eyes, it was terribly lonely inside that mansion.
But all of that took a different turn when Tomoyo chanced upon a shrine her family owned on an outing with her mother. It wasn't the first time she had been there but it was the first time that she felt that she belonged there. Seizing up her courage, she asked her mother if she could visit the place more often. Sonomi, seeing her daughter all excited gave her consent easily.
The girl would pay her respects then she would proceed to sweeping the leaves that had fallen from the sacred tree. It was a light task and she but she never found herself bored enough to return to the house for an early lunch. The elders had also admired her dedication that they had decided that she be the succeeding miko after her aunt. The prospect of her daughter being chosen over all the other girls who were also qualified was too much for Sonomi. The woman was thrilled that her daughter was not to get wed and be able to uphold the family's honor. There was much to be desired from Tomoyo's actions.
She did her chores at the shrine with a smile, humming as she swept. The weather was exceptionally fair that day. It was just an ordinary day but almost every tale begins as a regular day. Instants can change the whole course of your life. And that instant happened a second later.
The last of the leaves had been swept into a heap when Tomoyo heard footsteps coming from the stairs heading into the shrine entrance. At first, she had thought it to be some of the servants calling her to return home. As she hurried to greet them she found out that she was mistaken.
A young man of seventeen stood in front of her. Dark hair framed his pale face while glasses covered his azure eyes. He was panting slightly while he scanned the surroundings with an observant eye. Then he spotted her. Time seemed to stand still.
They kept eye contact and she couldn't help but notice the striking good looks he sported. His clothes attested that he was not from around here.
"Ohayo gozaimasu. May I be of any service?" She queried.
He bowed slightly and looked down from where he had come from. He must have spotted something of distaste since he wrinkled his nose in irritation.
"Gomen nasai." He bowed once more and took off, running towards the woods behind the shrine.
She was surprised at his actions. Everyone in town knew the forest behind the shrine was full of precarious things. Maybe she should warn him.
"Sir! That area is dangerous," She called after him.
To her annoyance, he paid no heed to her warning. Instead he mouthed an arigato and continued towards that direction.
After that chance meeting, she entered the shrine to meditate. Minutes later, she heard again heavy footsteps but this time she did not come to greet them. She only opened the sliding doors to see who had come. Two armed policeman were near the torii. One of them noticed her.
"Oneesan, have you seen a man this tall, blue eyes and dark hair?" The older one of the two asked. He looked tired from the climbing the numerous steps up to the shrine.
She bit her lip.
"Is he a criminal, officer?"
"Not yet. If he surrenders peacefully he won't be," This time the younger one spoke up. He was less exhausted than his comrade and was now looking around the area.
"I haven't seen him. I was inside the shrine up until the both of you came," She lied. It was one of the few times she did, especially since she hated feeling guilty.
The senior policeman didn't seem disappointed.
"I don't blame you, Oneesan. He's a tricky one. The imperial guards barely heard him slip away. Right, Asakawa?"
Asakawa nodded. "It's hopeless. We might have better luck next time."
"Call us if you ever see him lurking around here, 'neesan."
After a quick look at the perimeter, they left, leaving Tomoyo to her thoughts.
*******************************************************************************************
After that fateful morning, the week had gone uneventful for Tomoyo. She wasn't complaining though. She liked the peace and quiet. Sunday was fast approaching, the day she was to go to town with her mother. It was the only thing she looked forward to every week but now she felt a strange feeling of anxiety to see the man at the shrine once more. There was a minute chance that she would see him in town, especially since he was being hunted down by the police but she still hoped she would.
"Tomoyo-ojousan. Sonomi-sama wants to see you," One of the servants, Rinoko informed her.
Tomoyo smiled from her sitting position on the floor.
"Hai. Tell Okaasama I'll be there in a second."
Rinoko nodded and left her mistress.
Tomoyo stood up from her comfortable seat and emerged from the room. She walked down the corridor and stopped in front of a closed door.
"May I enter, Okaasama?" She asked permission from the woman inside.
"Come in, Tomoyo."
The girl obeyed and slid the door enough for her to enter. She sat on the cushion that was empty and faced her mother.
"You called?"
Sonomi broke into a sad smile. "Yes dear. It's about Sunday...I'm afraid I won't be able to come to town with you."
Her daughter shook her head, trying to hide her disappointment. "Iie. It's not your fault, Okaasama. You have other matters to attend to."
"Are you sure child? I'll make it up to you."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. Hmm. Will you still go if I let Rinoko be my replacement?" The maid had been with them for quite awhile now and Sonomi had learned to trust her.
Tomoyo pondered on it for a while.
"Yes."
"Then it's settled! I'll tell Rinoko to accompany you on Sunday," Her mother seemed glad that Tomoyo had not been adamant to her persuasions.
"Thank you," The teen bowed graciously and left the room.
Sonomi smiled to herself. "This is for your future, Tomoyo..."
*******************************************************************************************
Tokyo had just become the capital of Japan for a few years and yet its population seemed to appear out of nowhere. But today it was more congested that usual. Merchants, performers, customers littered the dust-covered streets, all busy with their own business. The Daidouji girl, likewise, ventured the city in search for items worth her while, followed by her servant.
"Are you hungry, Rinoko?" Tomoyo asked for the umpteenth time.
"No thank you, Ojousan." Rinoko declined once more to her invitation.
After a few minutes, the ojousan asked another question.
"Do you find anything that interests you?"
"I'm in no position to ask anything of you, Tomoyo-ojousan."
Tomoyo sighed in defeat. "If you say so, Rinoko." This whole outing was fruitless. She was starting to get bored from lack of conversation coming from her servant. If she couldn't talk to someone who didn't treat her as an equal she would die of ennui. A nagging plan formed in her mind.
"Rinoko, can I ask you to do something for me?"
"Yes, mistress."
Her lips curved into a smile. "I was wondering if you could buy me some Nadeshikos for Okaasama. Here's the money."
The middle-aged woman took the coins carefully. "But how about you, Tomoyo-san? Will you be safe here alone?"
"Don't worry, Rinoko. I'll be here when you get back," The girl smiled reassuringly for added effect.
At that, the servant caved in. "I'll be back soon," Then she walked away and was soon swallowed by the crowd of people.
Tomoyo smiled in triumph. Now there was no Rinoko to prohibit her from talking to anyone. Even though the woman was very obedient, there was a limit on a Daidouji's tolerance. And the younger Daidouji had a whole LOT of patience and toleration.
Her first destination was the bookstore her mother always forbade her to visit. "All you need to know throughout your lifetime is how to read and write," Sonomi quoted. "Leave the other rubbish to men." It was a statement Tomoyo detested but out of respect for her mother, she agreed.
This time around, however, Okaasama wasn't around to scold her.
She pushed the door open carefully as if it would break. She was astounded at what she saw. There were rows and rows of books piled on top of their respective shelves.
"May I be of any assistance, oneesan?"
She jumped at the voice. "S-Sorry. I'm just looking around."
The old man nodded and returned to his post by the counter. "Take your time."
She forced a smile and covered up her obvious excitement. Picking up a book from one of the lower shelves she browsed it in awe. After a few minutes, she had made up her mind.
"I'll take this one, ojisan."
"This one's a good book. Take care of it."
"I will," She bit back a giggle and paid for her purchase.
Leaving the shop, she proceeded to the street where she promised to wait for Rinoko. The servant was not yet there when she arrived.
Suddenly there was a commotion in one of the stores and she spotted the same dark haired man who she had met a few days before at the shrine.
Curious, she went nearer just in time to hear the store owner thank the gentleman for stopping the pilferer who was currently knocked unconscious.
The lad smiled. "It was nothing," He bowed in respect then started walking away from the scene.
Tomoyo watched in semi-admiration. 'This person couldn't possibly be a criminal.' She thought.
He was too polite.
He was nice.
He was a complete mystery to her. And she wanted to solve him.
*******************************************************************************************
~If I give up on you, I give up on me~
Tomoyo had pursued the lad, half out of curiosity and the other half bordering on adventure. She hid whenever he turned around or when he stopped. To her perspective, he had no idea he was being followed. She kept on his trail until she reached the dangerous part of town. It was only past three o'clock yet this place looked so dark and menacing that she could've sworn it was around seven. The people around here were giving her dark looks and she was starting to berate herself for being such a meddler. She was startled by a man who was looking at her in a lecherous manner. There was a sword by his side.
"What brings you to this part of town, ojousan?"
She didn't reply. Instead she broke into a run, forgetting the reason for her visit.
Forgetting him.
The man ran after her and was soon joined by a group of thugs. All unsheathed their swords and pursued her.
She felt scared. Terrified. What had she gotten into? Her legs were feeling weary from all the walking and running. Her kimono was not an easy thing to run with either.
As she rounded a corner, a pair of arms grabbed her from a side alley. Her eyes widened in fright and she tried to scream. The owner of the said arms, however was quick enough to clamp a hand on her mouth.
"Don't scream. I won't hurt you," It appeared that her captor was a man from the hushed deep voice he had. His features were hidden from the lack of light.
She did as she was instructed. After all, would she rather be killed by a bunch of thugs in broad daylight in the worst place in town or get captured by an anonymous man who seemed to have a different motive from the former?
The men passed them quickly, careless enough not to notice the two hiding in the dark street.
She exhaled and was surprised to find that she had been holding her breath. It was expected of her anyway. She was saved...but was it merely temporary?
Her captor removed his hand from her mouth. "You were lucky this time. Let's just hope there won't be a next."
She looked him and at the exact moment, the sun shined and she saw his face.
Dark hair.
Sapphire eyes.
It was him.
^____TsUzUkU_____^
Author's Notes: Please R&R! If something is wrong with the fic, please notify me through the review or e-mail me at [email protected]
*Japanese Terminology
Oneesan-sister
Ojousan-miss, mistress
Miko-priestess
Ohayo gozaimasu-Good Morning
Gomen nasai-Sorry
Iie-no
Torii-gateway to the shrine (the red arc thingy)
-sama:master, madam
Okaasama-mother
Ojisan-old man
By: Na-chan
Disclaimer: Obviously, CCS is not mine. It's copyrighted by CLAMP and Kodansha. The song Stigmatized is by The Calling.
Author's Notes: Yep, my 2nd fic! Highly inspired by the poem "Soledad" by Angela Manalang-Gloria. It's a great poem but I can't post it since that would be plagiarism.
"Talking"
'Thinking'
~Song~
Chapter 1: Reminisce
A bamboo. She, Tomoyo Daidouji had been likened to a member of the grass family. It was a far cry from the occasional comparisons of beauty she was always showered upon. He was the first one to be able to describe her beyond the physical appearance. And yet the comparison was so precise... it scared her. How he could practically see through her as if she was transparent was too much for her. Maybe she would have found out if she had changed her mind back then...
*******************************************************************************************
Year 1871, Meiji
The sun peeked its orange rays from the horizon, in an attempt to add warm colors to the neutral blanket of dark blue sky. Its luminance penetrated the paper sliding doors of the Daidouji household and reached the heavy eyelids of the ojousan of the house.
Tomoyo awoke minutes later after a good night's sleep. It was ten after seven, not too early and definitely not too late. But a few months back, time did not matter to her. She used to pass the majority of her days at home, staring intently at one of the walls surrounding their house as if trying to burn a hole through it.
She hated those walls. Even though they kept dangerous criminals from entering their humble abode, they also shielded civilization from her observant eyes. She was not allowed to go out of the gates, let alone go to town.
The only time was given permission to leave her inner sanctum and venture beyond those walls was when her mother brought her to town. And that was a rare occasion at the Daidouji household. In Tomoyo's eyes, it was terribly lonely inside that mansion.
But all of that took a different turn when Tomoyo chanced upon a shrine her family owned on an outing with her mother. It wasn't the first time she had been there but it was the first time that she felt that she belonged there. Seizing up her courage, she asked her mother if she could visit the place more often. Sonomi, seeing her daughter all excited gave her consent easily.
The girl would pay her respects then she would proceed to sweeping the leaves that had fallen from the sacred tree. It was a light task and she but she never found herself bored enough to return to the house for an early lunch. The elders had also admired her dedication that they had decided that she be the succeeding miko after her aunt. The prospect of her daughter being chosen over all the other girls who were also qualified was too much for Sonomi. The woman was thrilled that her daughter was not to get wed and be able to uphold the family's honor. There was much to be desired from Tomoyo's actions.
She did her chores at the shrine with a smile, humming as she swept. The weather was exceptionally fair that day. It was just an ordinary day but almost every tale begins as a regular day. Instants can change the whole course of your life. And that instant happened a second later.
The last of the leaves had been swept into a heap when Tomoyo heard footsteps coming from the stairs heading into the shrine entrance. At first, she had thought it to be some of the servants calling her to return home. As she hurried to greet them she found out that she was mistaken.
A young man of seventeen stood in front of her. Dark hair framed his pale face while glasses covered his azure eyes. He was panting slightly while he scanned the surroundings with an observant eye. Then he spotted her. Time seemed to stand still.
They kept eye contact and she couldn't help but notice the striking good looks he sported. His clothes attested that he was not from around here.
"Ohayo gozaimasu. May I be of any service?" She queried.
He bowed slightly and looked down from where he had come from. He must have spotted something of distaste since he wrinkled his nose in irritation.
"Gomen nasai." He bowed once more and took off, running towards the woods behind the shrine.
She was surprised at his actions. Everyone in town knew the forest behind the shrine was full of precarious things. Maybe she should warn him.
"Sir! That area is dangerous," She called after him.
To her annoyance, he paid no heed to her warning. Instead he mouthed an arigato and continued towards that direction.
After that chance meeting, she entered the shrine to meditate. Minutes later, she heard again heavy footsteps but this time she did not come to greet them. She only opened the sliding doors to see who had come. Two armed policeman were near the torii. One of them noticed her.
"Oneesan, have you seen a man this tall, blue eyes and dark hair?" The older one of the two asked. He looked tired from the climbing the numerous steps up to the shrine.
She bit her lip.
"Is he a criminal, officer?"
"Not yet. If he surrenders peacefully he won't be," This time the younger one spoke up. He was less exhausted than his comrade and was now looking around the area.
"I haven't seen him. I was inside the shrine up until the both of you came," She lied. It was one of the few times she did, especially since she hated feeling guilty.
The senior policeman didn't seem disappointed.
"I don't blame you, Oneesan. He's a tricky one. The imperial guards barely heard him slip away. Right, Asakawa?"
Asakawa nodded. "It's hopeless. We might have better luck next time."
"Call us if you ever see him lurking around here, 'neesan."
After a quick look at the perimeter, they left, leaving Tomoyo to her thoughts.
*******************************************************************************************
After that fateful morning, the week had gone uneventful for Tomoyo. She wasn't complaining though. She liked the peace and quiet. Sunday was fast approaching, the day she was to go to town with her mother. It was the only thing she looked forward to every week but now she felt a strange feeling of anxiety to see the man at the shrine once more. There was a minute chance that she would see him in town, especially since he was being hunted down by the police but she still hoped she would.
"Tomoyo-ojousan. Sonomi-sama wants to see you," One of the servants, Rinoko informed her.
Tomoyo smiled from her sitting position on the floor.
"Hai. Tell Okaasama I'll be there in a second."
Rinoko nodded and left her mistress.
Tomoyo stood up from her comfortable seat and emerged from the room. She walked down the corridor and stopped in front of a closed door.
"May I enter, Okaasama?" She asked permission from the woman inside.
"Come in, Tomoyo."
The girl obeyed and slid the door enough for her to enter. She sat on the cushion that was empty and faced her mother.
"You called?"
Sonomi broke into a sad smile. "Yes dear. It's about Sunday...I'm afraid I won't be able to come to town with you."
Her daughter shook her head, trying to hide her disappointment. "Iie. It's not your fault, Okaasama. You have other matters to attend to."
"Are you sure child? I'll make it up to you."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. Hmm. Will you still go if I let Rinoko be my replacement?" The maid had been with them for quite awhile now and Sonomi had learned to trust her.
Tomoyo pondered on it for a while.
"Yes."
"Then it's settled! I'll tell Rinoko to accompany you on Sunday," Her mother seemed glad that Tomoyo had not been adamant to her persuasions.
"Thank you," The teen bowed graciously and left the room.
Sonomi smiled to herself. "This is for your future, Tomoyo..."
*******************************************************************************************
Tokyo had just become the capital of Japan for a few years and yet its population seemed to appear out of nowhere. But today it was more congested that usual. Merchants, performers, customers littered the dust-covered streets, all busy with their own business. The Daidouji girl, likewise, ventured the city in search for items worth her while, followed by her servant.
"Are you hungry, Rinoko?" Tomoyo asked for the umpteenth time.
"No thank you, Ojousan." Rinoko declined once more to her invitation.
After a few minutes, the ojousan asked another question.
"Do you find anything that interests you?"
"I'm in no position to ask anything of you, Tomoyo-ojousan."
Tomoyo sighed in defeat. "If you say so, Rinoko." This whole outing was fruitless. She was starting to get bored from lack of conversation coming from her servant. If she couldn't talk to someone who didn't treat her as an equal she would die of ennui. A nagging plan formed in her mind.
"Rinoko, can I ask you to do something for me?"
"Yes, mistress."
Her lips curved into a smile. "I was wondering if you could buy me some Nadeshikos for Okaasama. Here's the money."
The middle-aged woman took the coins carefully. "But how about you, Tomoyo-san? Will you be safe here alone?"
"Don't worry, Rinoko. I'll be here when you get back," The girl smiled reassuringly for added effect.
At that, the servant caved in. "I'll be back soon," Then she walked away and was soon swallowed by the crowd of people.
Tomoyo smiled in triumph. Now there was no Rinoko to prohibit her from talking to anyone. Even though the woman was very obedient, there was a limit on a Daidouji's tolerance. And the younger Daidouji had a whole LOT of patience and toleration.
Her first destination was the bookstore her mother always forbade her to visit. "All you need to know throughout your lifetime is how to read and write," Sonomi quoted. "Leave the other rubbish to men." It was a statement Tomoyo detested but out of respect for her mother, she agreed.
This time around, however, Okaasama wasn't around to scold her.
She pushed the door open carefully as if it would break. She was astounded at what she saw. There were rows and rows of books piled on top of their respective shelves.
"May I be of any assistance, oneesan?"
She jumped at the voice. "S-Sorry. I'm just looking around."
The old man nodded and returned to his post by the counter. "Take your time."
She forced a smile and covered up her obvious excitement. Picking up a book from one of the lower shelves she browsed it in awe. After a few minutes, she had made up her mind.
"I'll take this one, ojisan."
"This one's a good book. Take care of it."
"I will," She bit back a giggle and paid for her purchase.
Leaving the shop, she proceeded to the street where she promised to wait for Rinoko. The servant was not yet there when she arrived.
Suddenly there was a commotion in one of the stores and she spotted the same dark haired man who she had met a few days before at the shrine.
Curious, she went nearer just in time to hear the store owner thank the gentleman for stopping the pilferer who was currently knocked unconscious.
The lad smiled. "It was nothing," He bowed in respect then started walking away from the scene.
Tomoyo watched in semi-admiration. 'This person couldn't possibly be a criminal.' She thought.
He was too polite.
He was nice.
He was a complete mystery to her. And she wanted to solve him.
*******************************************************************************************
~If I give up on you, I give up on me~
Tomoyo had pursued the lad, half out of curiosity and the other half bordering on adventure. She hid whenever he turned around or when he stopped. To her perspective, he had no idea he was being followed. She kept on his trail until she reached the dangerous part of town. It was only past three o'clock yet this place looked so dark and menacing that she could've sworn it was around seven. The people around here were giving her dark looks and she was starting to berate herself for being such a meddler. She was startled by a man who was looking at her in a lecherous manner. There was a sword by his side.
"What brings you to this part of town, ojousan?"
She didn't reply. Instead she broke into a run, forgetting the reason for her visit.
Forgetting him.
The man ran after her and was soon joined by a group of thugs. All unsheathed their swords and pursued her.
She felt scared. Terrified. What had she gotten into? Her legs were feeling weary from all the walking and running. Her kimono was not an easy thing to run with either.
As she rounded a corner, a pair of arms grabbed her from a side alley. Her eyes widened in fright and she tried to scream. The owner of the said arms, however was quick enough to clamp a hand on her mouth.
"Don't scream. I won't hurt you," It appeared that her captor was a man from the hushed deep voice he had. His features were hidden from the lack of light.
She did as she was instructed. After all, would she rather be killed by a bunch of thugs in broad daylight in the worst place in town or get captured by an anonymous man who seemed to have a different motive from the former?
The men passed them quickly, careless enough not to notice the two hiding in the dark street.
She exhaled and was surprised to find that she had been holding her breath. It was expected of her anyway. She was saved...but was it merely temporary?
Her captor removed his hand from her mouth. "You were lucky this time. Let's just hope there won't be a next."
She looked him and at the exact moment, the sun shined and she saw his face.
Dark hair.
Sapphire eyes.
It was him.
^____TsUzUkU_____^
Author's Notes: Please R&R! If something is wrong with the fic, please notify me through the review or e-mail me at [email protected]
*Japanese Terminology
Oneesan-sister
Ojousan-miss, mistress
Miko-priestess
Ohayo gozaimasu-Good Morning
Gomen nasai-Sorry
Iie-no
Torii-gateway to the shrine (the red arc thingy)
-sama:master, madam
Okaasama-mother
Ojisan-old man