A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who told me I was funny and requested more of this! I'm so psyched to have you on board. Shout-out to Shiloa, a good part of this is headcannons we came up with while screaming at the screen together on release day ;)

Disclaimer – the paladins' dialogue is all from the show, I didn't write it. Also it occurs to me that this chapter may be somewhat difficult to follow, because I didn't want to include too much of the season's direct content in it, despite the fact that it takes place during the events of 1.2 episodes. Sorry in advance.

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Perhaps this is the point of parties:

"Why doesn't the Princess work?" thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance, as the Princess sat in Black Lion's cockpit. "She's already a leader of Voltron."

"She's a good Commander," thought Beast King. "But that's not the same as being the head of Voltron."

"...what's the difference?" thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

"No one knows," thought Sprite. "Black Lion likes the mystery."

["I wonder if I can adjust the seat," said the Green Paladin, taking her turn.]

"Shorty," thought Sprite. "Get your ass back here immediately."

["I don't wanna leave the Yellow Lion, okay?" said the Yellow Paladin. "It's big, it's got this super-armour – it's safe."]

"Atta boy," thought Beast King.

["You can do it," said the Blue Paladin. "This is your moment."]

"No, young one," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance. "Your time will come."

"Stop," thought Sprite.

"Shouldn't the Princess' advisor try?" thought Beast King.

"No," thought Flame. "No."

["I can't lead them like you," said the Red Paladin.]

Black Lion lit up and roared in approval.

["Please, no," said the new Black Paladin.]

"You heard the Princess, being a leader is a glorious burden," thought Black Lion.

"Hello to you too," thought Sprite.

["But who's gonna fly the Red Lion?" said the new Black Paladin.]

"The mouthy one," thought Flame. "End me."

"You're welcome," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

"It's okay, Flame," thought Beast King.

"No," thought Flame. "Go away."

"Adorable," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

"At least this time your Paladin wasn't killed by another Paladin," thought Sprite.

"Sprite," thought Beast King.

"Don't worry, Flame," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance. "If the Red Paladin still needs an abundance of timely recues, the Blue Paladin is totally up for playing hero."

"You mean the Black Paladin and the Red Paladin," thought Black Lion.

"This is confusing," thought Beast King.

"You think it's confusing for you," thought Black Lion. "Try being me."

"No," thought Beast King. "That would actually not work. My Paladin's wrong on that."

"I wonder if we're still going to be able to form Voltron," thought Black Lion.

"Probably not," thought Sprite.

Time passes. Probably. Time is weird.

["My Lion's not responding to me," said the new Red Paladin.]

"This hurts me more than it hurts you," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

["Come on, old Blue. It's me, Lancey-Lance, open up!" said the new Red Paladin.]

"You call him that?" thought Flame.

"He came up with it himself," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance. "I like it."

["Okay, enough goofing around, I mean it. We've gotta get out there and help the others!" said the new Red Paladin.]

"So hurry up already," thought Flame. "So much for being smarter than he sounds."

["Oh, come on! Why are you being mad at me?" said the new Red Paladin. "Wait, do you hate me now? I'm sorry for wanting to fly the Black Lion, it was just a phase."]

"No, my brave Paladin, Lancey-Lance of my heart," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance, "you must go on without me – it is your destiny."

"Stop," thought Flame.

["Hey Blue? You know, I gotta say, that's a great colour on you," said the new Red Paladin.]

"Awww," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance. "Can't I just keep him?"

["Geez, that's like my best line," said the new Red Paladin.]

Flame thought nothing for a tick, on purpose.

"He's a work in progress," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

["Maybe Pidge was right," said the new Red Paladin. "I am just a goofball. Not only am I not meant to be the leader, I guess...I guess now I'm not even meant to be a Paladin."]

Flame roared.

"You gave away the game," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

"I am not putting up with this while he's my Paladin," thought Flame.

"Messes with your image?" thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

["No way, Keith probably trained it to bite my head off," said the new Red Paladin.]

"He did do that," thought Flame.

"Don't break Lancey-Lance," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

"If he can keep up," thought Flame.

["I know the Red Lion is not meant for me," said the Princess.]

"Your fabulousness has set you on a different path. It is the burden of the Blue Paladin," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance, and lowered her barrier.

["Huh?" said the new Blue Paladin, turning back around.]

"That's right, girlfriend," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance. "Who else is breathtaking enough for me? Now, let us go. Our audience awaits."

"Update," thought Sprite, already in battle. "Flame's name is now Fast & Furious 2: Revenge of the Furied."

"I hate this already," thought Flame.

"We'll work on it," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

[The Paladins all fought for their lives.]

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Bonus:

["Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Blue?" said the new Blue Paladin.]

"That we are the most totally stunning and impressive beings in the universe? Yes, yes I am," thought Ultimate Battleship Waterdance.

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A/N: I couldn't figure out if I was keeping the Lions in character or not compared to my last chapter, but then I remembered this is crack so it's probably fine. ;P