As usual when it came to the two of them, it started with a crash and a bloody nose. Kagura and Sougo collided into one another heads buried in their respective magazines and the world blurring around them. Flat on her back, Kagura launched up jabbing an accusing finger into the frazzled cop's chest, ignoring how his own hands flew to staunch the blood gushing from his nose. "Stupid cop! Watch where you're going! You could've killed me, yes!"

Kicking up a knee to punch into her stomach, Sougo tried to sneer behind his fists and the growing blood clot he could he feel between his fingers, but failed miserably. "ME? I'm the one bleeding!" his nasally voice disgusted the red haired girl who sneered before cracking her knuckles.

"Not bleeding enough as far as I'm concerned, yes." Suddenly, her rage dissipated as her eyes shot to the floor, looking positively scandalized, "You're bleeding all over my magazine you stupid Chihuahua!" she shrieked, sweeping Sougo away with an unforgiving kick and throwing herself to the ground to save the precious pages.

But instead of her prized copy of Snacks Snacks Snacks, she had herself a handful of Weapons Monthly, featuring a shiny neon green bazooka next to a lion for scale. A really, really big lion. That couldn't possibly be legal. Kagura's nose wrinkled. "What's this trash?"

Swiping the magazine from her grip, Sougo hugged it protectively to his chest, his nose now clean of the blood and his hands only slightly stained. "Don't taint this with your filthy alien germs China. Your rag is over there." Following the path his finger forged, Kagura scurried over, a gluttonous glee shining in her eyes as she pored over the pictures.

Only a little curious, but mostly bored, Sougo glanced over her shoulder, feeling stupid at how he didn't guess it's contents right away. As it turns out, the china girl wasn't the only freak obsessed with snacks. Apparently, there was enough of a fanbase to make a magazine about it. Vaguely, Sougo wondered if she stole it. Considering he knew for a fact she didn't have enough for noodles let alone a glossy magazine. It was then that the vibrant ad with huge yellow writing and too many exclamation marks than could possibly be necessary caught his eye and Sougo knew exactly what she was salivating for. "There's no way you can afford that." Better to crush her dreams early, he was being kind really.

Kagura stuck out her tongue, "Oh, because you can afford that bazooka?"

Sougo jerked back, quirking his lip and refusing to look at her. "I'm a cop. I actually have money unlike you."

Kagura's eyes rolled, looking equally condescending as she did obnoxious. "Except you spend all your money on pranking that Mayora, yes." She scoffed, sticking her nose in the air, "Tch. All men are terrible with money, yes."

"He just won't die!" Sougo insisted, looking affronted at her lack of faith and petulant at his failures.

"You're a sadist!" she shrieked, "A super sadist!"

"Well you're a glutton! You're gonna get so big we're going to have you roll you around town!"

Kagura stormed forward, forehead pressed up against his in a battle for dominance. "Hahhh?" she drawled, "You trying to pick a fight you shitty brat?"

But Sougo's fist was already flying towards her ribcage and Kagura flipped backwards, getting in a cheap uppercut to his jaw with her foot before he slammed her down. Rolling out of the way of a very near lethal sword jab, Kagura's umbrella swooped up to defend a lightening swipe at her head. The two danced around the park, kicking into the air, flipping to avoid attacks and shooting bullets and slashing with swords. The sweat accumulated on Kagura's brow, a bright bruise darkening her cheek and her breath coming out in harsh gasps. Across from her, Sougo looked no better, sporting a slight limp on his left side and nose crusty with dried blood.

"You look like shit." She smirked.

Sougo scoffed, charging at her again. "Pitiful." He mourned, "You're losing in the fight so you need to resort to petty insults?" he shook his head, "Sad."

Kagura's fist slammed squarely into his jaw and he winced, flying back and hitting a tree. "Who's losing?" and her smile was sickeningly sweet and too gloating to be humble.

Sougo growled, ready to spew profanities before he noticed what was happening around them and a brilliant idea hit him like a meat cleaver, or maybe something gentler, like a surprise kiss. Or something like that. Grabbing Kagura firmly around her waist, he pulled the girl up against his chest, locking her neck in an elbow hold and directing her gaze just a little aways. "China, look."

Kagura squirmed, considering biting down on his sleeve, but Sougo's tone caught her. "What do you want Sadist? Afraid of losing so you're making stories up?" she sniffed, "Pitiful."

Sougo's grip tightened around her neck as he clicked his tongue, "Can you use your brain for just three seconds, look at what those guys are doing." Considering it safe enough to lift a hand away from restraining the volatile Yato, Sougo pointed right at two guys glancing around like hooligans up to no good.

"They're handing each other money." Kagura stated, as though forcing her to observe the world was the most menial of tasks and beneath her infinitely superior stature.

Sougo sighed. "They're betting. On us." He emphasized, waiting for the same idea to occur to Kagura as well.

Normally, Sougo would seize this opportunity and completely neglect anyone who stood in his way. But he figured the petrifying rage that would overtake the girl if she found out he was getting rich off her behind her back might literally destroy the town, so decided against it. Considering the Shinsengumi were barely breaking even as it was with repair costs and God knows the Yorozuya boss couldn't afford a new toothbrush let alone construction work, Sougo figured it was the best course of action. Honestly they were all just one more mass destruction to public property incident away from exile.

Kagura blinked, her tension seeping out of her muscles. "Oh. Oh my God." Whirling around in his grip, Kagura's nose was an inch away.

Sougo swallowed, wondering when her eyes had gotten so blue, like the universe's nebulas had collapsed within them, blowing a fog of star dust and all of the world's secrets around in its depths. Kagura licked her lips and something in Sougo lurched. And died as Sougo repressed it all the way. "We need Shinpachi."

Sougo was dumbfounded.

"What." And his deadpan was so flat Kagura was certain a kitten died somewhere.

"Shinpachi." Kagura repeated, her eyes glowing alight with an idea that was spiralling out of control like a snowball over a mountain face, "He can be our manager! And he doesn't even need a cut because what do glasses even need besides cleaning spray!"

Sougo's brows arched, nodding in consideration. "Ah." He stated, "So the pig is more than just her stomach after all."

Sougo woke up a minute later, head planted firmly in a tree and Kagura speed walking like a mafia leader out on a revenge mission towards the gamblers. Groaning, Sougo rubbed his skull, flinching as he brushed away bits of bark from his hair. He watched with some sort of oh-no-I-should-probably-go-over-there-and-stop-a-future-murder expression but decided he was too tired to care. Kagura, two feet shorter and three times skinner, grabbed the first guy's collar and pulled him down to her level. To his credit, he only looked slightly terrified considering he probably knew her fists could topple buildings and countries. "Hey you." Sougo cringed, Kagura could do many things, but a good gangster impression was not one of them, "How much have you two been making on us? Huhhh?" her nose was dangerously close to the man's face, making him go cross-eyed in fear.

"N-not much! Only two hundred!" he squeaked, arms twitching at his sides.

"Two hundred!" She yelled, releasing him unceremoniously. "Holy crap." She whispered. "How many other losers do this?" she demanded, this time victimizing his friend.

"Lots of people. Lots of others. It isn't just us!" he insisted, hands pressed together desperately.

Kagura's hand found her chin, stroking it like she'd seen detectives do on VT, "Oh man I'm gonna be so rich, yes." Pointing her finger at the two of them, Sougo only felt a little afraid at her slightly crazy expression, "Listen here maggots! You let everyone you know that betting on me and the Sadist's fighting is ILLEGAL unless it goes through our management." Leaning in closer, she cracked her knuckles, a smile too wide and too ferocious spreading across her face, "And if either that guy or I find out someone's been making money off us without giving us a cut, they'll be sorry."

Squealing, the two nodded profusely before running away tails between their legs. Satisfied, Kagura turned her power hungry gaze back onto Sougo, sauntering back over to him. Sighing, Sougo dropped his head back down. Kagura prodded him with her foot, "Hey, Sadist, get up. We have work to do." Her smile had normalized somewhat and the wind was doing lovely things to her hair.

Figuring what the hell, Sougo sat up, planting his hands firmly on her shoulders, "China, what we're about to do is slightly-"

"Try very"

"-Illegal but it's all Hijikata-san's fault for not paying me enough." He concluded, looking thoroughly convinced in his hole ridden argument.

Kagura's hands whacked his away with the speed of a starving Gin craving sugar, "You're the worst cop that's ever lived." She said scathingly, "But the whole Shinsengumi is corrupt so even if we're caught it'll be fine." She paused, "Even if it isn't, Gin-chan and Shinpachi will break me out of jail anyway."

"So it's a go then?"

"Of course. We're calling a temporary truce." Kagura grinned, all teeth and cheer.

Sougo's heartbeat boomed in his ears but ignoring it, he tried his best to smirk and held out a fist. "Partners then." Kagura's fist bumped against his own before smashing into his face.

Clutching furiously at his nose, Sougo's glare was more petulant than angry. "What was that for?!"

"For holding me funny before perverted Sadist!" Kagura stuck out her tongue before running away. Watching her leave for only a second, Sougo let himself fall back down again. That brat…she had no idea.

"Pssst, Shinpachi."

Shinpachi glanced up from his dusting, trying to locate the face behind the voice. Frowning, he stepped forward only to be confronted with a whisper shriek, "No! Behind you! Behind you!"

Slowly, and not without a little trepidation- he could still pretend he didn't notice and go on with his day- Shinpachi turned around, spotting Kagura hidden behind the coat rack underneath an oversized purple jacket that a client left two years ago and never returned for. Kagura gestured for him to come closer fervently, sporadically looking left and right like she was a fugitive. Honestly, it wouldn't be the most shocking thing that would've occurred in this house.

"Hello Kagura-chan." He greeted, bending down to meet her at eye-level and not just a little bemused.

Waving him closer, Kagura's voice lowered, "You looking to make some extra cash on the side?" she asked shiftily, looking more sketchy than helpful.

Shinpachi cringed, eyebrow twitching, an uncomfortable laugh already bubbling in his throat. "What-"

Kagura's hand launched out, covering his mouth, eyes burning earnestly from behind neon purple feathers. "Otsu has a new concert in three months doesn't she?" and from her smirk, Shinpachi knew that she knew that he knew that she knew she had 100% won.

So that's how he found himself hiding with Kagura in the trash alley, the one place Gin would never go voluntarily, hunching forwards as Kagura whispered her and Sougo's money-making scheme. It was quite possibly the worst plan he ever heard, but Kagura knew him better than anybody and dangled all his desires right in front of him.

"Imagine buying backstage VIP passes." She signed dramatically, hands clasped beneath her chin like a Disney princess singing about love at first sight, "That'd really take your fan club to the next level, yes."

Shinpachi could literally feel his resolve weaken by the second as he lost himself in his fantasy. "We're definitely gonna get caught Kagura-chan. If Gin-san finds out." He paused, looking green at his next thought, "When Hijikata-san finds out!"

Kagura shrugged without a care, "So they lecture us, we'll still be filthy rich. Otsu rich." Her smile was sly and so obviously manipulative.

And Shinpachi was sold. (he was a lot of things and a sucker was one of them, everyone has weaknesses!).

"It's really all that lazy boss' fault." He justified, feeling like if he nodded hard enough he'd believe it.

"Exactly." Kagura confirmed, nodding along with him. "If anyone is breaking the law, it's Gin-chan, yes. Not paying his workers. Disgusting."

Shinpachi paused, "We should make a banner. And get a box." Kagura cocked her head, "For the money." He elaborated.

Brightening, Kagura clapped him on the shoulder, "Shinpachi! I knew you'd be perfect for the job! Let's go to Zura's! We can use Elizabeth's stuff!"

"Maybe we should call ahead first?" But Kagura had already started running.

Shaking his head, but feeling just a little excited and ready for the fun, Shinpachi sprinted on after her. Really, how bad could an underground fight club really be?

As it turned out, an underground fight ring ended up being the best idea Sougo and Kagura had ever had. Two days of spreading information using Zura's network and the Shinsengumi's moles- (no it wasn't corruption!) (well…maybe it was)(but considering a cop was the main fighter it's really the least of everyone's problems)- there was quite the fine turnout at the warehouse building chosen to be the fighting ring. The advertising was pretty incredible Shinpachi had to say. Framing it as in illegal immigrant Yato versus the top sword fighter of the famed Shinsengumi was just too good a fight to miss. Not to mention Shinpachi's incredible sign making abilities that he sat proudly under at the entrance, carefully cataloging people's names and hiding away the money. "Here's you ticket stub." He said cheerily, handing a scaly alligator like Amanto his proof of payment and gesturing to the ring the three of them had built together, "Enjoy the fight!"

At exactly half past five, the doors were officially shut and bidding closed as Shinpachi made his way to the ring, noting the feral, but still excited, expressions of the two inside it. Holding out a megaphone, he coughed, grabbing everyone's attention and spread his arm out dramatically. "Welcome to the first fight of the season!" The crowd cheered, hoping for blood and sweat and if they were lucky, some broken bones.

"If you don't know already, in the left corner, we have Okita Sougo, the Shinsengumi's top swordsman with the highest kill record in the force. In the right corner, we have Kagura, one of the last remaining Yato, a deadly war mongering race whose violent tendencies are renowned across the galaxy." Turning to his friends, Shinpachi raised his hand into the air. "Fighters! Get ready!" pausing to build just the right amount of suspense, Shinpachi abruptly swung his hand down, "GO!" the crowd roared in approval before blinking in shock.

One second, the two were in the corner and in one collective breath, they were both in the centre, like lightening bolts, dangerous and quick. Fists flew and kicks blocked. Jumping up, Kagura whipped a kick at Sougo's head, using his side dodge to flip over him using his shoulder as a jumping board. Smirking, Sougo grabbed at her foot, throwing her to the ground, foot ready to stomp on her face before her fist shot up and bent in his knee.

Rolling away from her, Sougo's sword clashed against the side of Kagura's umbrella as she stuck it into the ground, swinging her body around to slam her legs into his side sending him flying into the ropes at the ring side. The crowd thundered in its approval, feet stomping and arms waving. Wiping the sweat from his eyes, Sougo hung his shoulders low, his eyes focused in their calculations. Waiting for Kagura to run at him in that usual headstrong way of hers, Sougo bent low tackling her to the ground and punching her right in the face. Childishly shocked, Kagura's expression forced a snort from the boy before he winced in pain as Kagura slugged him right back.

Back in the booth, Shinpachi counted the money they had made and felt his excitement increase with every dollar he put aside. They had decided to take 10% of all bets made to start out and feel out the crowd and truly, five hundred dollars wasn't a bad way to start out the first night. This… this could honestly go somewhere. The plan, ignoring the hell they would be put through if they got caught, was just a little genius. Kagura, a fighting monster in her own right, would heal right up and was great viewing bait because nothing fascinated people more than a little girl beat the shit out of a man in power. And Sougo, to his credit, could sustain a whole lot of damage before really feeling it and had proven to be able to hold his own against Kagura on several occasions. Him being a cop didn't hurt either. It didn't hurt at all considering the jeers and cheers from the crowd.

"Beat the pig!" a scarred gangster wannabee yelled, waving his bandana in the air.

"Kick her in the stomach boy!"

"Behind you! Behind you!"

Though Shinpachi didn't exactly like the way these nobodys and delinquents were talking about his friends, he resolved that if Sougo and Kagura didn't mind, then he wouldn't either. A sharp shout caught his attention as he saw Sougo grinning sadistically down at Kagura whose face was pressed into the mat, her arms pulled tightly behind her, Sougo's foot in her back. "Too bad little miss piggy. You lose." He taunted.

Boos were heard intermittently in the crowd though others praised Sougo's skills instead. Kagura growled, squirming beneath him as he counted to five like they agreed. As he finished, half the crowd cheered while the others glared at the floor, shoving their friends half-heartedly at their teasing for losing their money. Readying his customer service smile, Shinpachi took back all his ticket stubs from the lucky winners, handing everyone their cash with a quick smile and encouragement to come again. "You know," said one of the final bidders, "You guys should sell snacks or something. Maybe some sake." Shinpachi really didn't think adding alcohol into this equation would be a good idea, but nodded anyway.

"Thanks for the suggestion, we'll definitely take it into consideration."

The man shrugged, "So this happens every Wednesday and Saturday?"

"That's right!"

"Well you might want to consider jazzing it up a little. Watching the same two people fight is gonna get boring after a while. Those two's spars are legendary but they're pretty evenly matched." Shinpachi quieted and the man took his cue to leave.

Honestly, he was probably right, if they wanted to stay in business, they needed to stay one step ahead of peoples' ever decreasing attention spans. Eventually, the crowd cleared out and Shinpachi headed towards his friends, still in the ring. Twisting so that she faced the ceiling, Kagura wiped the blood dribbling from her chin, accepting the water bottle Shinpachi handed to her with a smile. Chugging it, she tossed it over to Sougo, not too sorry when it hit his head and fell straight to the ground. Sougo pursed his lip, finishing the bottle and tossing it back to the ground. "So?" he drawled, leaning back on his hands.

"We made five-hundred today, which I think is a good start. Your fight was great Kagura-chan, Okita-san."

"Wasn't I great Shinpachi! When I did that swirling kick, I think someone fainted from the coolness."

Sougo curled his nose, "More like fainted from your stench." He waved his hand in front of his nose, loving how riled up she got.

"Jerk."

"Pig." He shot back.

Sighing, Shinpachi pushed forward, ignoring their idiocy. "So I was thinking that for the next fight, we could make it more interesting by including the audience."

Kagura blinked, "You want us to fight all those weaklings?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Then?" Sougo pushed, already looking bored.

"I mean," Shinpachi stressed, "That just you two fighting all the time is bound to get boring. So to make it interesting, after every fight, we can ask people to submit a challenge for the next fight. Make it a bidding war. Whoever pays the most gets to pick. So for example, maybe you have to both fight blindfolded or on one leg."

"That's the stupid thing I've ever heard." Sougo and Kagura deadpanned simultaneously turning to each other looking more judgemental by the second.

"He wants us to fight on one leg." Kagura insulted, an annoying expression tightening her face.

"How are we supposed to do that? Bunny hop?" Sougo's hand pretended to try and hide his words.

"This isn't a dance Shinpachi. Sheesh."

Boiling point reached, Shinpachi's hands lashed out, thwacking them both on the head in one swoop, a blank expression on his face. "Why is it that you two are only friends when you want to bother me."

Kagura blinked. "What do you mean?" her arm wrapped around Sougo's neck pulling him closer though Shinpachi could've sworn he saw a repressed need to kill.

"We've always been best friends." Sougo finished, looping his arm around Kagura's shoulders and trying to pretend he didn't shudder at the contact.

Their twin looks of mischief sent Shinpachi into another sighing spiral as he found his head once again in his palms. "You two are so tiring it's unbelievable."

"It's a good idea though Pachi-boy. It'll be fun! I can't wait to beat the Sadist with one hand."

"You just lost China." Sougo deadpanned, "Right now. Ten minutes ago. I had your face on the floor as you groveled in your defeat."

Kagura's fist shook, "Who's groveling?" Sougo grinned widely as he jumped up sprinting over the cable barrier as Kagura gave chase, shooting bullets at him haphazardly, steam bursting from her ears.

Somewhat fondly, Shinpachi looked on before making a mental note to have guests sign waivers on their way in. It was really just a matter of time before someone got shot or stabbed if he was being honest. As a bullet scraped by his ear, he shrieked, yelling abominations as Sougo and Kagura laughed at his expense around him. Honestly. They were the absolute worst friends to have. But as Kagura grabbed onto his arm and smiled at him like he was her favourite thing and Sougo sauntered next to them hands clasped behind his head, Shinpachi knew he wouldn't trade them for the world. "So should we get ramen to celebrate?"

Sougo snickered, "You're paying right?"

A/N So I'm planning this to be a few chapters and be excited, the okikagu is actually going to happen before the ending so we'll get some couple fighting scenes alongside all the humor parts and the inevitable angst part as the plot comes into play. I just really love Shinpachi, Sougo and Kagura's dynamics as a trio and I just love writing them as salty bffs, but don't worry there'll be plenty of romance to come! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and leave a review if you want to suggest any fighting challenges to subject our poor Sougo and Kagura to!