Reasonable Authority Figures

A Steven Universe Snippet Submission by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based parody. Steven Universe is the property of Cartoon Network and Rebecca Sugar. Please support the official release.

There wasn't much change, Steven supposed, after General Reynolds and Agent Kaede entered their lives. Agent Kaede was actually a lot of fun to hang out with. Amethyst took to her immediately, sharing her love of beer, food, and fast driving. Garnet seemed to approve of her, to a point, and she was able to converse with Pearl on aspects of Japanese culture and history. Apparently Pearl had become very fond of Japan over her few thousand years: Particularly tea and swords.

Even though tea came from China, but Pearl didn't seem to care too much about that.

General Reynolds was... Harder to figure out. A lot more distant. He wasn't exactly mean, but he was... Quiet. Almost like Garnet, actually. She accepted his presence, but always seemed watchful around him. Amethyst didn't really give him much thought, any more than she did anyone else. The General brought ice cream with motor oil and it appeased her. And while Pearl did talk with him, often behind closed doors, Pearl didn't seem to really like him any more.

Speaking of Pearl, she headed off on a lot of solo missions. Not on the same level as Garnet's solo missions, as they didn't seem to be very physically taxing. But Steven was kind of tired of being kept in the dark. So he decided to solve this in a clever, manly kind of way.

Pearl stood on the Warp Pad, and sighed with a smile. She gave the coordinates... The pad activated...

"HEYPEARLI'MCOMINGWITHYOU!" Steven shouted, jumping into the Warp Pad beam. Pearl's eyes widened.

"WHA-?!"

And they were suddenly in a giant underground base of some kind. Steven's eyes widened even more as he immediately took off, running into a nearby railing. He looked up and he grinned.

"WOAH! So cool, so cool, so coooooool!"

It wasn't a giant room. It was a giant underground base! Full of super huge metal doors covered in armor! And guards with advanced looking guns! And there was a... A…

"IT'S A SPACESHIP!" Steven gasped. "SPACESHIP!"

It was indeed a gigantic spaceship: Dark gray, built out of cylinders and blocks. It was like a LEGO construct he'd built once, only covered in gigantic space guns! It was so awesome!

"STEVEN! You shouldn't have - you couldn't have come here - WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" Pearl cried out angrily.

"It is indeed a spaceship," said Agent Kaede, walking up with an amused look on her face. Pearl flushed and scowled, grabbing Steven.

"I am so sorry, he really shouldn't have come, he was forbidden to come-"

"You didn't say that!" Steven protested.

"I implied it!" Pearl hissed.

"Considering how much he's done for this planet already, I think the least he can do is see what the Earth Defense Forces are doing, right?" Kaede suggested, smiling cheekily. Pearl sighed and rubbed her forehead gem. Steven held his cheeks in amazement.

"THEY EVEN HAVE A COOL NAME!" Steven gasped. "SO COOOOL!"

"Yeah, it pretty much is," Kaede said cheerfully. She pointed at the massive starship under construction. "That's the Thunderchild. We're hoping she'll help us put up a better fight if Homeworld comes around." She knelt down and beamed at Steven. "So you guys have back up!"

"So cool…!" Steven gasped. Pearl sighed.

"Did you have to build it like a giant collection of junk?" The elegant Gem asked. Kaede shrugged.

"It's not my decision! They were building this since the 70s, after all," Kaede explained. Steven was happily running over to the guards, who looked down at him in awe.

"So, are you guys like Space Marines? That is so cool!" Steven gasped. The guard grinned.

"Nah… But you're Steven Universe, right? Defender of the Earth?"

"I HAVE A COOL TITLE TOO?!" Steven gasped in glee. Pearl sighed, grasped Steven's shoulder, and led him away. She gave an apologetic smile to the guard.

"Sorry… Look Steven. Let's just take a tour, all right? But please understand, this is a place for serious work," Pearl explained. Steven nodded, taking deep breaths to cool himself down. It was hard not to be pumped after seeing the giant space battleship though. Still! He didn't want to make Pearl look bad.

"Of course! Of course. I need to be serious and focused. Defense of the Earth and all…"

"Hey, wanna see the star fighters Pearl built for us?" Kaede asked.

Steven's eyes widened again. Pearl sighed.

"Can we? Can we?!" Steven begged. Pearl sighed.

"Oh.. All right…"

"Woahhh... Starfighters!" Steven said happily, beholding a pair of elegant, pointy spacecraft sitting on aircraft-style landing gear in another immense hanger. He immediately ran over to them, touching their shiny hulls and looking over everything.

"Not in the silly scifi movie way, Steven," Pearl said, shaking her finger with a smile. "They're tactical strike craft with modest interstellar capabilities, with more focus on scouting and exploration-"

"Yes Steven, they're starfighters," Agent Kaede said with a smile, as Pearl scowled back at her. "But they're very good starfighters."

"Yes," Pearl said, clearing her throat and her pride restoring her good mood. "With four multi-directional engines. The pilot is in the center, standing up, to allow for humans to handle the maximum amount of gee forces! Given you are significantly less resilient than Gems, of course."

"Oh my glob," Steven said with starry eyes, "they look like the X-Furies from Space Wars!"

Pearl coughed. "Well! Um... That's purely coincidence. The aesthetics were at least suitable given the limitations of organic pilots-"

"It's so awesome!" Steven grinned. "Pearl, you are so cool!"

Pearl beamed. "Well... Heh... I guess I am!"

"He's got you wrapped around his little finger," Kaede murmured, looking amused and touched. Pearl flushed, but managed a proud smile.

"Yes he does."

Up for adoption... Still. Come on guys. Get creative.