"Mels…" I can't believe what I'm seeing. Mello broken down to his knees with that damn gun of his to his own head. I have never in all our years together seen such torment in his cerulean eyes. He looked like the mangled mess after the dust has clear from a skyscraper collapse. I wanted to reach out and touch him, to tell him that it'll all be okay and the pain will pass, but I can't. I tried to a long time ago, but he can't feel me.

My heart wrenches as he screams my name. Tears burn my eyes and I instinctively reach for him. His body convulses from his sobbing and my knees give under me. I cover my mouth to stifle my own sobbing as if I would disturb him with my torment. His cries ring out, bouncing off the empty alley walls.

It's a quiet night in the city, the blankets of snow give way to an eerie stillness to the air. The setting is tragically beautiful; the way Mello's tears sparkle in his eyes, the full moon illuminating the sky with a glittering silver. Shakespeare couldn't write a better tragedy if he tried. Nothing would ever compare to seeing someone you love cry out for you when you're two feet away.

I clutch my chest and listen to him pray, and, for the first time, I join him. I don't even know what I say, words barely forming intelligibly, most of what I manage comes out as begging and pleading. I remember him once telling me you can't demand things of God, but I would take him on if it meant giving Mello even a little peace of mind. That's all I want.

Don't get me wrong, I would jump at the chance to be with him again, to start over, say all the things I've been afraid to say, but I am dead. Nothing is going to change that, I know, but it doesn't mean I'm foolish enough to believe I would have the chance. So, I'll settle for just a moment of peace and less sorrow. There's nothing I have ever wanted more than his happiness.

I am startled when Mello finally moves. I watched, relieved, as he cast the gun away. A smile spreads across my lips as I stand and wipe my eyes. I can see the resolve to end his life melt away into a new strength. His eyes have lightened and his breath is even. A small curve to his lips lightens his eyes.