oooooooooh boy this is sad...based on a headcanon of mine (and Mrs. Potato Head by Melanie Martinez), and written in like, an hour. also a vent fic. turns out eating disorders don't die that easily :)))

TRIGGER WARNINGS: eating disorders, mentions of self harm, etc. be safe guys.

Kids forever, kids forever
Baby soft skin turns into leather
Don't be dramatic it's only some plastic
No one will love you if you're unattractive
—Mrs. Potato Head, Melanie Martinez

"Paladins, today we'll be doing another bonding exercise!"

Groans were heard through the room, and Allura sighed in exasperation.

"Get up and meet Coran and I in the training deck, please."

Shiro was the first to leave the common area, the only sign of hesitation in his eyes. Keith and Pidge went next, both grumbling to each other about how these exercises were just stupid. That left Lance and Hunk.

"Hey buddy, you doing okay?" Hunk asked suddenly, his arm wrapping around Lance's shoulders. Lance hadn't been acting like himself lately. He was quieter, and his expression was getting more and more vacant. The other paladins hadn't noticed, but that was probably because they didn't know Lance like Hunk did.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Lance said, but at Hunk's hard stare relented and whispered, "I don't have my meds. They helped with the whole depression thing, but…it's not like I had them with me when we left. It's just getting harder to deal with, considering the medicine is leaving my system."

Hunk squeezed Lance's shoulders.

"How can I help?" Hunk's expression was so concerned and sincere that it made Lance smile for the first time in what felt like months.

"I don't know."

When Lance saw the head devices in Allura's hands, he almost lost it.

"This again?" He groaned, hoping to deter her. He wasn't in a good headspace, and the thought of the other paladins seeing him like that was enough to make him want to throw up.

Ironic.

"Yes, this again. Paladins cannot hide things from each other. Now, everyone put one on." Allura replied, and Lance reluctantly complied.

Once everyone was seated, they started.

Lance decided it was safe to probe into Pidge's mind and stick to topics she wouldn't mind sharing. Somehow, Lance got caught up in a memory of her and Matt, playing around in a front yard. She couldn't of been more than six in this memory. Lance felt a flash of hurt and anger, and suddenly Pidge was in his mind, digging around for something to show everyone.

Lance panicked.

"Here comes the fatass!" Someone called, and Lance curled into himself, walking down the hall faster. He had always been a chubby kid, and they'd never bugged him about it before, so why now?

Why were middle schoolers always so cruel?

Blinking the tears from his eyes, Lance made his way to the bus and quickly sat down, hoping to avoid everyone.

"Poor kid should lay off the food. It's just sad."

Lance had an idea.

Sticking a toothbrush down your throat was never fun. But it worked.

Lance coughed and gagged, but was satisfied as his dinner was purged. It wasn't like he had eaten much of it anyway. His diet now consisted of water, mint gum, and a small bit of whatever was for dinner. Half of an orange or an apple if he really needed it, too. Lance worked out every day now, and the weight seemed to be falling off.

Standing on shaking legs, Lance flushed the toilet and walked towards the scale. Stripping down to his underwear, the thirteen year old held his breath and stepped onto the scale. His face fell. 130 pounds.

His goal was 100.

Why couldn't he do this right?

Blinking tears out of his eyes, Lance turned towards the mirror. His skin was paler than usual, and there were bags under his eyes. His ribs were starting to protrude, along with his spine. A thigh gap was appearing.

He was still too fat.

126 pounds.

Lance wasn't sure what else he could do.

121 pounds.

Lance's thigh now had FAT carved into it.

117 pounds.

Lance wouldn't ever be good enough.

Seventh grade had melted into eighth, and eventually, the bullying had stopped. But Lance still didn't feel skinny enough. He had stopped eating entirely, only drinking water and chewing on sugar free mint gum. He was at 112 pounds.

Then, he fainted in gym class.

They were running, and Lance wasn't doing well. He was behind everyone, and the teacher was yelling at him to get moving. He was just so tired. Black spots suddenly danced across his vision, and then everything was dark.

Lance woke up a few hours later in the nurse's office. He could hear his parents talking quietly, and he groaned, making sure they knew he was awake.

"Lance!" His mother called, rushing over and crushing him in a hug.

"Hi mama." Lance croaked, and she released him.

"What do you remember?" His father asked, and Lance's brow furrowed.

"I was…in gym, right?"

His parents nodded, and Lance noticed tears in his mom's eyes, and the way his dad's mouth was set in a firm line.

"Is…is everything okay?" He asked hesitantly, but he knew the answer. They had found out.

"You haven't been eating, have you?" His mom asked, and Lance bit his lip.

"I—" he started, but his dad cut him off.

"We saw what you wrote on your thigh." He sighed, and Lance paled.

"Why?" Lance's mom whispered, and his heart hurt at the sight of tears trailing down her cheeks.

"I just wanted to be attractive." Lance replied weakly, and then burst into tears.

"Enough!" Lance's chest was heaving as he threw the device across the room. He glared at Pidge, whose face was white with shock.

"You had no right to look at that." He hissed, and Pidge's face fell.

"I'm—I didn't mean to—" she stuttered, but Lance stalked out of the room.

"Lance!" Hunk called, ripping the device off of his head and rushing out of the room after him.

Shiro and Keith looked at each other in disbelief, and Pidge was on the verge of tears.

"I—I got angry because he was looking at Matt and I, so I—I didn't know, I didn't mean to do that, I—" Shiro cut her off by putting a hand on her shoulder.

"We know." He said, and her face crumpled.

Shiro pulled her into a hug, and shared a look with Keith. That was something they hadn't expected.

"What happened?" Allura asked, rushing down to the training deck, Coran on her heels.

"Something personal to Lance came up." Keith said quietly, still trying to process what the hell just happened. Coran left without another word, and Allura looked at Shiro worriedly.

He shook his head, rubbing Pidge's back as it shook.

As Hunk searched the castle, he was intercepted by Coran.

"What happened?" He asked, slightly out of breath. Hunk sighed.

"Lance, he um…Pidge accidentally showed everyone that he had eating disorders when he was younger."

Coran looked alarmed for a moment, but then nodded in understanding.

"I think he'll be in the control room. He goes there to look at the star systems when he's upset." Coran said, and started walking. Hunk followed suit.

They could fix this. Hopefully.

Lance didn't hear them walk in. He heard someone clear their throat and jumped, quickly turning from where he sat to see who it was. His stiff posture relaxed, however, when he saw who it was.

"Can we sit?" Hunk asked, and Lance nodded wordlessly. Hunk and Coran sat on either side of Lance, and waited.

"That was awful." Lance whispered, and took a shuddering breath.

"I'd imagine so, my dear boy." Coran replied, placing a hand on Lance's back.

"I…wasn't ready for everyone else to know."

"We know." Hunk sighed, and wrapped an arm around Lance.

"I know Pidge didn't mean to show everyone that, but…I'm still angry." Lance bit his lip, trying to will the tears gathering in his eyes away.

"I would be too. You'll need to talk that out with her, no doubt." Coran looked at Lance solemnly, "I'm sure she feels awful though."

"I—"

"Lance," Hunk interrupted, knowing that holding it in wouldn't help anything, "it's okay to cry."

Lance put his head in his hands and broke down.

There was going to be a lot of talking to do tomorrow. Pidge would cry, Lance would cry, and he'd have to open up about the years that he struggled with eating, and how sometimes he still skipped meals. Shiro would help the conversation along, Hunk would rub Lance's back and be emotional support, and Keith would listen quietly, making sure to look for signs that Lance was struggling from now on. It was going to be a tough day. But they were going to get through it.

I couldn't think of a good ending, it's 5:30 am. Sorry friends.

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