Mario Farted: IN SPACE, by Dickfart

"Yiiiiiipppeeeeeeeeeee!" said Mario, shooting through the cosmos with a stream of diarrhea exploding out of his Mario hole with enough force to tear apart galaxies. There's no other way to travel!

"All thanks to this," said Rosalina, holding up a head of cabbage. "If you want to launch yourself through space, kids, you have to eat your cruciferous vegetables. These include cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, kale, Radditz's, turnips, rape seed, bok choy, watercress, rutabagas, and dairy (if you're lactose intolerant like me, tee hee.)"

"It really works!" a testimonial by the one and only Shadow the Hedgehog, with a smug smirk that can only be described as I'm-shoving-my-cock-deep-into-that-spiny-blue-gotta-go-fast-ass tonight. "my BOY!"

"Fuck yeah, homie," said Guzma, giving Shadow a high five. "Team Skull all about that natural, clean, blasted asshole." He then whipsered, "They're paying me to do this."

"I was too old to shit before," said Professor Oak, another testimonial. "But now I'm so empty that Ash's entire Muk can fit inside of me. I have photographic proof-"

Pan back to Rosalina. "If you're having a hard time eating vegetables because they're fucking gross, you can always stick them in a blender with a liquid bleach base and an entire cup of nutmeg for flavor. Then you can take krokodil to combat the pain of excessive crapping."

"YASSS," said Billy the Toad, whose face had fully rotted away due to the effects of krokodil. No one cares because he's a Toad.

"On second thought," said Rosalina. "Swap the krokodil for meditation, or the liberals will sue us. We're trying to run a family friendly business here! What's the idea?"

"Mario farted," said Luigi, wiping shit out of his overalls.

"Well, that's all I have for you today," said Rosalina, getting on her shit-powered motorcyle with Luma and farting through space at a billion times the speed of light.

Then Twilight Sparkle pulled out her quill and wrote "Dear Princess Celestia, I learned that every greasy slime spending their lives fucking pony fleshlights and Rainbow Dash plushies has at least 400 pounds of pure gas and feces resting in their guts. They could propel through the entire universe if they wanted."

"Yeah!" said Rainbow Dash, exposing her pony pussy to the camera. "So eat your fucking vegetables, you fat sack of shit!"

END