Hello my little loves! I got a prompt from someone on Tumblr, and I'm still so gutted that this didn't get explored further within the anime - though I suppose, I can understand why, since the dubs removed it and softened the story line, by quite a lot. The prompt was to pretty much touch down on what the show removed - I'm not sure if it was hinted or known within the other dubbed versions of the show, but the English dub simply implied that he 'went mad'. Despite how much it hurts me to do so, so yes, it will focus on Kai (no surprises there) and his guilt in terms of Wyatt. Wyatt was a little love and deserved so much more, and I'm so sad about his fate, because just imagine Kai finally teaching him the right way, where he won't get hurt.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade, nor am I claiming to hold any rights to it's creation and writing. It has absolutely nothing to do with me, and the credit belongs to it's creator. God bless you for making a manga about spinning tops. All I am is a humble bee that really enjoys spinning tops. Hey, but if I did have influence over the show, Kai would look the hell out for Wyatt like he was a little brother, and they'd team up on regular occasions, and everything would be pure and lovely. But whatever, I can always stick to dreaming, can't I?

As I say every time, your views and your reviews mean the absolute world to me, and it's because of you guys and your constant positive comments that I continue in writing something that I enjoy. I love writing in general - so thanks, guy. If you have the time, and want to, please feel free to leave comments after you've read it, and even leave suggestions and ideas for new things, if you would like too. But please do not feel pressured to write anything - if you do not want too, or simply can't come up with anything - that's fine. You're wonderful, and I love you. - Ellis.

Wyatt Smith. The very name that continues to plague him. There's a notion of nausea, washing up it's very existence within the core of his stomach, grasping at the edges and pulling him in tighter, and Kai's not sure if he can withstand the notion of guilt for much longer. It screams and the very echoes causes Kai to screw his eyes up to a tighter shut. Wyatt Smith. The boy who saw stars when Kai walked past him, the boy who felt as light as a feather when Kai even looked within his direction. The boy who had been so humble, and innocent, and within his innocence had placed Kai upon a pedestal that he simply could not climb down from. Kai had already known that he had been great, and that he was powerful, and that he could do many great things, and at the time he hadn't needed some starstruck kid running around his heels, begging for him to notice him. He didn't need to have his strengths held within a colourful awe, nor to have his very existence to be applauded; but no one could hate themselves, more than Kai hated his very existence at the moment. The very mention of Wyatt was enough to leave Kai wishing to claw his way out of his body, to find some other escape, because even in blading, Wyatt haunted him. Wyatt was the ghost that Kai didn't need, but the very existence that he missed.

At school, Kai had wanted to start things differently. He didn't want to be the kid that was constantly associated with Voltaire, and the terrible things that he had once done in all efforts of bringing down a healthy and sustainable beyblading community. At school, he had just wanted to be Kai. The kid with the good grades, that wanted even better grades, because apparently, he'd never be happy with anything that he got. He wanted to be the kid that could coherently and correctly string a chapter together, and have the very class wondering if he had just swallowed a dictionary. Truth is: Kai was a very literate person, and could probably rehearse chapter after chapter between himself, and only himself. In school, Kai just wanted to be the kid who was actually pretty nifty with a paint brush, and a keen interest in cats and general nature, he wanted to be that kid that kept himself away from the others, but silently celebrated his own talents... But Wyatt had come in like storm, and blown all chances of normality to one side. The very hazelnut tinge of a trees bark remind him of the colour of Wyatt's eyes. His eyes had always held a childish innocence, an innocence that tried to soar for the skies above. The hazelnut hue had held a thousand galaxies and universes that were beyond this world, and now, everything that Wyatt had once dreamt of touching, were completely out of his reach. And it's Kai's fault. All my fault. I did this.

The events of the other day rattled something within Kai that at first he couldn't comprehend. Hollow breaths had danced through a hallowed frame, quaking over the cracks of his lips and infiltrating the poisonous air. Events play over, and over and... They just keep playing, and they never know when to stop. They never know when it's enough, and when Kai has had enough... But when he balls up his hands, the sounds, the voices... The calling of his name, and the pang of guilt that comes surging through him - grow louder, and stronger. He recalls how light the boy had felt within his arms, he recalled how small he seemed when he was cradled within Kai's arms, a swarming nest that vowed to protect him, and yet, simply couldn't. Wyatt had shook, trembled and quake within Kai's comfort - he'd been so afraid. In the pitch black dark that Kai creates through tightly lidded eyes, he recalls the vibrant vibrations of the boy, as breaths had rattled through his small frame. He assumes the trembles must have been so harsh and corrupt, that they permanently damaged something within the boy. Wyatt had trembled against him, muttered incoherently into his chest on numerous occasions, mumbling over and over, and each mumble grew more tiresome and painful... Each mumble escaped him with such pain, and Kai had sworn that Wyatt had apologised, over and over again. What did you have to apologise for? All you were was a dreamer, a light-hearted believer, and I destroyed that. I destroyed you. I killed you.

Kai had pushed Wyatt away in all efforts of maintaining a restricted reputation - the idea that he was better than everyone else, and didn't need to fit in with them. He didn't need friends - he had the few he required, and even some times - they were too much for him. Then again, Kai had never really tried to fit in with anyone, Tyson, Rei, Max and even Kenny - they were all and had come as exceptions to Kai. They'd broken a hardened epidermis, a surface wall that Kai had erected and had been determined to maintain, but they... They had stepped in, and for that matter, stepped up, when everyone else would have turned away from him. For them, he had allowed his walls to crumble, and for them - should his heart beat. He had pushed Wyatt away more times that Kai dared to account for, reminding him that they were not even friends, barely even acquaintances within the eyes of Kai, that they would never be friends, and that Kai would never, ever associate himself with Wyatt... He had done this. I told him I wasn't interested - interested in him, interested in helping him - I did this. He doesn't even want to imagine how many times Wyatt must have planned a conversation within his head, only to be shut down and rejected - never mind the fact that Kai is the one that fuelled his fate.

Kai has been used before. Used and abused and tossed to one side when he could offer no more, used for another's personal game, a mere pawn upon a King's chessboard. He knows what it is like to be so naive... To place this sense of trust and belief upon someone, for them... To crush you. He imagines that Wyatt must have been delighted when someone started to show interest in him, when someone had believed in him, when Kai had only doubted him. H ecan only imagine the pure delight that must have coloured the innocent youths face - like a thousand prayers had been answered all at once, and Wyatt was finally getting his shot to become something. To be just like Kai. He imagines that Wyatt must have been frightened, alone and cold, unsure of himself, unsure of the entire situation. How can he know? How he dare to even wonder how and what Wyatt must have been feeling? Kai knows so well, what it feels like to place your trust and your very beliefs within someone, only for them to snatch your innocence, and you, so faithfully, watch them crush between cold and tainted digits. So how could he allow that? How could he allow someone, someone so naive and innocent to fall upon a sinister Kingdom, and be used a mere bait? Wyatt had been so much more. Wyatt will always be so much more... So much more than me.

Calloused digits fold back into the crevices of his palms, dulled and blunt nail become a savage amongst the flesh and in his frustration, pick idly at one's epidermis. Vermilion rises to soothe the surface and flesh becomes raw and risen, he hasn't even noticed the blistering pleasure running through him as he scolds himself for daring to feel this way - he did this after all. I did this. I did all of this. I destroyed him, and he's gone... Because of me. He's thankful for his eyes being closed, because he's rather certain that he can feel the string of hot tears collecting under the lids of his eyes. It's a peculiar sensation, and Kai almost despises himself for becoming... This.

"Hey, Kai." Soft wisp, a delicate chime that dances within the air. It's a fragile sound, and despite the air of enthusiasm placed within it, it isn't enough to bring Kai out of this polluted daydream. Kai will happily dig his early grave and drown within his guilt, his own pity and his shame, the whole ordeal in which he didn't do enough to protect Wyatt from reality's harsh truths - let him drown. Let him suffocate on this nightmare he created, this intoxication that pollutes him every night, and threatens to pull him under. Another call of his name, this time it seems closer, feels closer - but regardless, the call is light. It's gentle and sweet and there's nothing forceful about it... It can only belong to one person. Max.

Crimson stung eyes fly open and he's graced by the pure existence of Max, whose idly sitting aside of him. Kai notes that there is an air of concern dancing across the boys features, dressing the cerulean hue of his eyes and drenching the way his lips form against freckled flesh. He's a gentle boy, and Kai has always had a soft spot for Max, or at least, he's a lot softer when it comes to Max, than he is in comparison to Tyson and Rei. He looks at him briefly, before turning his head away slightly. He had been opening to be alone, or if he wasn't alone, that people would simply regard him as a wet blanket and leave him to have his moment - though Tyson had been careful as to what to regard Kai as at the moment, and Rei wasn't fussed about reducing Kai to mere a word, and simply gave him peace. Max, on the other hand, was more observatory than people gave him credit for, and despite Kai's cold and constant exterior, even Max could see that beneath the lines - Kai was agile.

"Shouldn't you be training, Max?" Kai inquires. His voice is soft, but there remains a firm tone about him, something that clings to borderline authority, but nothing too condemning for Max. Max nods slightly - yeah, he should be training, but it also didn't feel right to train and seem so... Alive, when Kai seemed... Alone. Max knew that Kai was a fan of his own company, and occasionally warmed to the idea of being around others, but Max didn't like the idea of Kai becoming engulfed by the notion of being alone. In truth, Kai was never alone, nor would he ever be, and Max would be damned if he allowed it.

"Yeah. I should be. Tyson and Rei are training, and Rei has some really cool new moves! You should check them out when you're feeling better!" Max chorused. His fists are pressed tight to his chest, small little bundles, that spill pure energy, youth and innocence. Max has always been a good kid, always bubbly and alive, always fighting peoples sides and protecting those who need it most... Always beaming over other people and priding their abilities... Always supporting Kai, even when others don't want too. Kai notes Max's words and had first assumed that Max would simply take Kai's question as a hint, and leave him alone, but apparently, Max doesn't want too, or even if he did want too, he didn't really take Kai's hint. Cerulean dances amongst the slate haired teen, who has once again turned himself away from Max, as if in the attempts that shutting himself away from the people who care the most, might be the best thing for him. It's really not, and Max knows that. Max saw it on the day it happened - how something within Kai had flickered, something that he hadn't seen before. Ever since then, Kai had been a little different. Something ate away at him, something had coiled itself around his heart and would tighten every so often - something would bring Kai to brink of tears and then joyfully sit back and allow him to choke amongst his own guilt. Tyson had seen it too, though attempted to act more oblivious to it, mostly because he didn't know what to say, nor do within the matter... Max, on the other hand, had seen it unfold, and had noted how his usually stoic captain, held something else about him. Usually Kai would stand at full height, usually there was an air of arrogance that polluted him, a chill that followed him, usually he contained whatever he was feeling... Usually.

"I'm fine." A blunt statement, and usually that would be enough to score the name 'sourpuss' or 'wet blanket' from his friends; hearing that would be rather satisfying right now. Max raises his head slightly and finds that a slight frown accompanies the small smile that once laced it's purity amongst his lips. Kai isn't fine. Max likes to imagine that he and Kai are a lot closer than what they used to be, and that if anything, perhaps he and Kai are closer than what Kai is, with the others, he also likes to imagine that he knows Kai better than he thinks, but then Kai has always been a mystery. He's a closed book, and even the blurb isn't enough to give his secrets away.

"You've been down lately. Ever since..." The blond begins, but finds himself trailing off, either because he can't bring himself to say Wyatt's name, or because he simply cannot remember his name. Kai never really spoke much about him. When he returned to them from school, he didn't mention Wyatt either, in fact, the first time, they actually heard about him, was his arrival and promise to beat Kai... Which ultimately ended in a face off between Wyatt and Dunga. He seemed innocent enough, and in some ways, reminded Max of himself. He had that sense of purity that coloured the hazel of his eyes, the determination... But that was all Max knew of him, other than a kid that went to the same school as Kai... But he also hadn't seemed the sort of kid that Kai would openly associate himself with. Max could almost kick himself for thinking that of Kai. Max and the others had appeared very much the same; the sort of people that you wouldn't think Kai would associate himself with. And yet, here he is, crossed legged and folded arms, sat within Tyson's home.

"Since?"

"Wyatt."

"What about... Wyatt?" There's hesitation to speak, Max can sense it, hear it within the tone that Kai takes - how he has to pause to prevent himself from breaking or revealing too much. What about Wyatt? Good question. Max knew nothing about Wyatt, he just knew that ever since that day, Wyatt's fate had snatched something out of the Kai. It had snuffed out the light that Kai once revelled within. Max shook his head slightly, he couldn't falter out of this now, but... The very thought of Kai being cross with him for bringing up Wyatt, the very look of disappointment crossing Kai's face... Max also couldn't bear the thought of just leaving Kai, he couldn't bear the thought of Kai going on suffocating on this guilt, blaming himself, burying himself an early grave because he thinks he destroyed Wyatt.

"I'm not Tyson, y'know. I catch on a lot quicker than you think." The comment about Tyson manages to coax a smile from Kai. It's faint, but it got there. "I know that you're bothered about the other day. You're quiet anyway, Kai, but this... This is kinda... Something else." Max finds that he's absentmindedly gnawing at his lower lip, pulling it taut between teeth, and almost attempting to shred the skin, to feel anything but this wave of anxiety that comes crashing down upon him. He supposes that Rei is usually the better of the group with words - Tyson couldn't string together a sentence that would anything to Kai, if he tried, Kenny often likes to speak in riddles, and riddles apparently mean nothing to Kai, unless he's the one speaking them... And Rei? Well, he seems fluent in understanding people and their comforts... And Max... Well Max is just the bubbly blond, who understands a lot more than people think, but he's not so great at finding the right words to say, without potentially offending someone. The last thing Max wants to do, is offend Kai, or make him feel even worse than he already feels. But this isn't his God damn fault, why doesn't he realise this?!

"What happened to Wyatt, it isn't your fault. It really sucks to see you beat yourself up like this, Kai."

"Max." Kai's voice is firm, but not too firm. There's a sense of authority about the way he speaks, even as he says the blond's name. A sense of authority that will always remain when Max refers to Kai. Cerulean hues drop briefly, he'd wanted to help, to persuade Kai into thinking otherwise, or at the least, distract him from such polluted thoughts. The truth is, Kai had felt more distant from them, than he ever been before. There was always going to be a wedge between Kai and the others, always something that prevented Kai from getting too close and too attached, but this... This was something else. This felt as if Max was an outsider, looking in, his palms pressed tight to glass and occasionally turning to fist... And Kai... Kai was enclosed in this shell of grief, this fury and this guilt that grasp him by the throat and claimed him prisoner... Well, Max wouldn't allow it. He also knew when he shouldn't press on, and knew that with Kai in particular, it was simply better if you just did not press on, because he'd either manage to scold you by simply looking at you, or warn you off merely by saying your name... That, or he simply could ignore you - how he managed to do so, remained incredible to Max.

So, Max simply shifts his weight, having previously rested with his knees pressed flush to the floor, and his legs idly folded 'neath him. He shifts so that he's now now somewhat idly pressed against the span of wooden surroundings, one leg held out idly before him, whilst the other is firmly tucked beneath. Fingers set themselves within the span of his lap, digits flush to the material of his t-shirt, that he so willingly thumbs and fiddles with. So Kai doesn't want to talk, or at least, he doesn't want to talk about Wyatt and how Kai feels about it, and Max understands that - he was never going to pressure Kai anyway... He just wishes that the older of the two would actually trust Max enough to talk to him, if not about Wyatt, then about something else. It isn't that Kai doesn't trust Max, he does, he really does - he just doesn't possess the capability to express that much meaning... In fair words, Kai is brutal upon himself, maintaining this hardened shell of a boy that Boris and the Abbey created, like a bot he's still meshed to the wiring of the place, still under these false pretences that to show any sort of emotion is weak. Kai has to maintain this notion that he's the cruel and cold, in control of himself - as well as in control of a bunch of kids - team captain, that he so displays. He cannot allow himself to falter because he feels the polluting intoxication of anxiety and guilt, stinging his lungs and tearing him apart from the inside. Rei, Tyson, Max and Kenny... They rely on him to be source of control, the leader whom simply cannot be condemned... And Kai is anything but that. Kai is fractured, and in places, he's broken, he's silent, and in other places he's slowly decaying... Rotting on this self hatred, this dreaded intoxication, that pulls him under and Kai can barely think.

"Yeah, so! Rei has pretty sweet moves! Like some real sweet and new moves - I think you should check those out!" Max chimes. His singsong voice comes as delightful, there's a delicacy about it, that serves at some sort of ease to Kai. With Max, he doesn't have to be pressured into responding, he doesn't even have to think about forming a response, he can simply listen, and Max will do the talking for both of them. Probably because Max knows that Kai isn't a big talker, and definitely not the sort to hold up a conversation long enough; no matter who you are. He also knows that Kai struggles to speak on an emotional level at the best of times, in fact, he's pretty certain that the only time Kai ever becomes fluent in emotional talk, is when he's blading. And that is pretty intense. The petite blond notes that Kai still has his head bowed, slate fringe idly held before his view, but Max assumes that Kai has his eyes closed. He hasn't moved since Max started talking again, and seems rather content on simply sitting there, arms folded, and seeming to drift to a completely different realm, either that, or he's simply happy to allow Max to talk about something that doesn't focus around Kai and Wyatt.

So Max talks. He talks about the eating competition that Tyson had... With himself. He talks about Tyson had imitated a challenge of who could eat the most and better the other in the next round, and honestly? Kenny had thought this endless game was never going to end. He supposed that, that wasn't anything surprising to Kai, even when Kai was at the breakfast - which wasn't for very long, by the way - Tyson was attempting to cram whatever contents of the table he could, without physically being sick, or gagging. He went on to talk about Rei and Tyson's recent training battle, and how they really were warming up for the next tournament, just like Kai had asked them too. He's now talking about Rei's new move, and how it seems as if Rei and Driger had only just managed to perfect, or at least, pull it off successfully, to some degree... And Kai finds that Max really can talk, but it's actually nice, because Max doesn't hold that high pitched ring to his voice, and isn't pestering for Kai's engagement. He just talks, and it's soft and calm, but there's a bubbly air to Max that constantly infiltrates anything that Max does. He also mentions something Hilary, and Hilary and Tyson had managed to engaged within a verbal war across the lunch table that afternoon, after Tyson's claims that Hilary had attempted to poison him. Hilary's remark had been, that if she had tried to poison him, it be a fast death, thus leaving no time for him to complain. The blond momentarily makes note of the face that Tyson had pulled in response to her warning, and earns a smirk from Kai - Kai knew there was a reason as to why he became so fond of Hilary.

He mentions that he recently got in contact with his mother again, who was working on something completely top secret - insert the faint tapping at the side of Max's nose, it won't be top secret for too long - but he imagines that it is going to be pretty awesome, and Kenny assumes too, considering Judy made a part of her conversation with Max to once again engross Kenny into the scientific side of blading. He went on to state how Kenny was in this content state of dreaming of when he could step into the facility as someone who worked there, rather than an admirer - of course Dizzi hadn't been pleased, and if it was possible for a laptop to blow raspberries, Max was certain that she'd have done so. Hilary had simply reminded Kenny that Dizzi was a bitbeasts and thus had feelings too, ad Kenny had attempted to remind Dizzi that she was the only laptop for him. It's then, that Kai sets his head back slightly, the crimson tinge of his eyes seeming to almost burn under the heat of the sun, a faint smile finds that it has woven it's very existence amongst the curve of tiers, and colours them with a discrete coral. That's when Kai realises that there is so much more beyond this wall that he's created, there is far more beyond this pit of turmoil that he's managed to land himself within. He's missed what seems to be all the little things, the little things that he would have once disregarded as pure child's play, but now they seem to keep him grounded.

He'd missed Max's little conversations and the catch up that he had, had with his mother - Max always shared those sorts of details with him, perhaps because Kai was always rather excited to hear from Max - he'd even missed Kenny's quirk and pure admiration for his laptop, that if it had been anyone else? Kai might have just pitied them and shook his head. There's even the little quirks and the things that make Tyson tick, that Kai had come to miss, in some ways. There's always an essence of annoyance that sways within the swagger that Tyson carries. He'd missed Tyson's terrible eating habits and his constant groaning of regret when Kai forces him to engage in a hefty training schedule. He'd even missed the adult and more appropriate conversations that he could have with Rei. Rei had always carried himself with an air of pride and maturity, but there was a colour of delight that always stung those amber eyes of his. There was something about Rei, that amde it easier for Kai to sit beside him and engage in conversation. The sort of conversation where little could be said, but the aspect of mutual respect was constantly present. Then there was Hilary. How could he forget that he had missed Hilary and her headstrong determination and kind heart? There really is no wonder that he had become to fond of her. She was as headstrong as Kai was - maybe even more so - she was stubborn and determined, but she was warm, and she was kind. They are people who before, Kai would have turned his back from, uttered that he despised them and their ways, that he was better than they would ever be... And now? Now, they are the very reason for each beat of a thumping heart. They remind him, that he truly isn't alone. He'll never be alone. Not any more.

"Thanks, Max."

Kai and Max are so important to me, so I was super happy to get the chance to write this! Plus I really like the idea of big brother Kai/little brother Max, and itty bitty Max looking out for Kai, which is really nice. I know it started out with Kai and his feelings/guilt in terms of Wyatt, and that is what the prompt was based around, and whilst that guilt won't just disappear like that, until he faces the situation head on, it was nice for Max to remind him that he's always got the Blade Breakers, and they've always got him. Once again, this was a prompt that I got from someone, so it's just going off of their idea, so hopefully this was okay! Once again, if you want to leave a review, please do. It means the world to me, especially if you have any suggestions for anything new, or simply want to say something nice. Again, your views also mean the world to me, and even if you don't want to write a review - that is fine - just your view is everything to me. Thank you! - Ellis. xxxx