Note: Hello again everyone. :) I missed everyone greatly. I'm finally reposting my stories after having been hacked back in January of 2017. I decided to take a break from fandom completely after that event so as to sort of gather my bearings, if you will. But here I am again. I know I'll never hit over the 1k mark again or anything like that... but I don't really care. All I want right now is to be able to share my story again, to whomever wants to read it. I want to put my works back out there to show that I can't be brought down by bullies. And I want to put it all back out there so that if I feel inspired, as I have time, I can continue these works that are a deep part of who I am, and which make me incredibly happy.

This work currently has thirty chapters, and I will be reposting them every other day for the time being. My other works will follow along shortly.

It's good to be home.

Thank you to my friends, family, and husband for being so supportive of me in my time of need. Special thanks to Perry_Downing, Annaelle, and grlie-girl for being my rocks, and to everyone else who kept tabs on me when I dropped off the face of the earth. I couldn't have done it without you all.

Oh, and if you need proof that this is the real Juulna, you can contact perrydowning or cuthian on Tumblr.

This work is disclaimed. This work is also being reposted after being removed via hacking. Originally started on january 26, 2016.

*hugs*

"In Venice in the Middle Ages there was once a profession for a man called a codega-a fellow you hired to walk in front of you at night with a lit lantern, showing you the way, scaring off thieves and demons, bringing you confidence and protection through the dark streets. "
― Elizabeth Gilbert

Finally, she'd had enough. Rey had stolen the Millennium Falcon from the Resistance and fled the Ileenium System, traveling from system to system until she'd finally found what she was looking for.

She kept her lightsaber in the small bag flung over her shoulder, but she left her staff inside of the Falcon. They would have just seen it as a mark against her intentions, which were certainly not to start a fight. She hadn't really wanted to leave the Falcon, but there was no way she could bring it with her to… well, wherever it was that they decided to take her, ultimately. Plus, she was sure that the Resistance had outfitted the blasted thing with tracking devices that even she hadn't been able to find.

No, it was better left here, on this desolate planet whose only claim to fame was a vast agricultural presence and the First Order outpost that oversaw the cultivation.

She'd followed the whispers until she found herself standing at the base of the Falcon, ready to turn herself in.

It was the only way she could get answers.

Luke had refused to teach her, turning his back on her and the prospect of restarting the Jedi Academy that had failed so spectacularly years before. She'd returned to the Resistance, as bitter towards Luke as the rest were, and learned as much as she could from Leia and her basic knowledge. But there was only so much she could teach the budding, powerful Force user that Rey was becoming.

She needed a true teacher.

It also hadn't helped that the other Resistance members treated her in various turns as a living legend, or as a pariah, scared of what she could possibly do to their minds without their knowledge. Based on some of the stories Rey had heard of previous Jedi, she really couldn't blame them. So, she kept to herself mainly, even distancing herself from Finn and Poe, who had fallen so deeply in love that sometimes it just hurt to watch.

No one really trusted her, either. She was too new. Sure, she was a throwback to the Jedi past, but hadn't Luke shunned her? There must have been a good reason for that; for the great Master Luke not to trust her, right? Those whispers followed her everywhere, and grew so pervasive as to worm their own way into Rey's mind.

The final straw came when Leia, ever-honest and practical, pulled Rey aside about a month later to tell her the truth about her past.

Her parents had been members of the then-nascent First Order. Luke and Leia had come across her entirely by accident when she was still a child, and had recognized the power of the Force in her right away. They knew who her parents were – how much of an asset Rey would be to the First Order if she were trained within their teachings – and had taken her away.

Just like that. No remorse.

It was 'war,' after all.

Leia had explained as gently as she could that they had left her on Jakku and told her that they would be back shortly; that Unkar Plutt would see to her safety until they made sure they hadn't been followed. Of course, Rey didn't remember any of this, only that they had said that they'd come back… and then they hadn't.

Leia had been so consumed with grief at her son's betrayal and the loss of the Academy that she hadn't even remembered that Rey was there, until years later. She'd contacted Unkar Plutt to check on her, but hadn't wanted to interfere anymore in her life at that point, especially at such a delicate time in the Resistance's negotiations with the New Republic.

Rey had had years of practice – ironically, on that same planet she'd been abandoned on – at hiding her emotions, and had muttered words of understanding to Leia, even as her anger and resentment slowly simmered underneath the surface. She'd asked to be excused, and had then spent the rest of the day kicking her heels on the edge of a cliff, thinking. She'd alternated between rage at being taken away from her family, despair that she'd never see them again, resentment that she'd been abandoned and forgotten like a piece of Jakku trash, and a budding hatred for her circumstances. She wasn't growing. She was doing nothing, and it was starting to wear thin. The Resistance's fight was becoming less and less her own as each day passed, and there had been nothing for her to do there; it wasn't like they were letting her contribute anyway.

A small part of her mind had whispered that maybe they never would; that maybe they were just waiting for her First Order blood to show and for her to betray them all.

Rey'd left the next morning, before anyone was awake. She was sure she'd seen Poe and BB-8 on their way to Finn's quarters, but they hadn't even looked in her direction.

That final slight cemented her decision. She'd flown away, quicker than anyone could scramble a single X-wing to intercept her, with a healthy dose of Force use that she'd been able to cobble together through practicing on her own. She'd been able to manage that much, at least.

And now, here she was, about to walk into a First Order outpost. She wanted to find her parents; to discover her true heritage…

But most importantly, she needed to learn.

Putting one booted foot in front of the other, hands held above her head, she walked into view of the outpost and waited for the next chapter of her life to begin.

Oddly enough, this time the sound of booted Stormtrooper feet provided her with a degree of comfort.

Two weeks ago, she'd been shackled and put into a holding cell in the outpost's garrison. They explained to her that, even if they did believe her intentions, there was no way that they could trust that what they believed wasn't being fed to them by her use of the Force.

Well, obviously she'd become quite the infamous character throughout the First Order. Saying as much, they explained with some chagrin that her description had been passed around to all of their outposts a month ago. Force users were rare these days, and her capture, rather than death, had been ordered by the Supreme Leader and the First Knight of Ren. Her just walking into this garrison without a fight would get all of them promotions, the leader explained, and Rey smiled sweetly back at him. She told him, without a shred of bitterness or dishonesty, that she was truly happy for him.

They still maintained as little physical contact as they could with her, however, feeding her via droid and making sure she had everything she might possibly need in the cell with her. It wasn't a bad period of time, being locked up. In fact, Rey appreciated and admired their caution. She could very well have been a spy. But she made sure to be a model prisoner, not wanting to ruin her last chance at answers in this cursed galaxy.

It was on the fifteenth day of her incarceration that a noticeable change in her routine occurred. She was allowed a true shower that day, and nicer clothes were left out for her to change into. The soap in the shower stall was probably the officer's little gift to her – they'd become rather friendly and he seemed to be truly grateful to her for showing up at the outpost – and she combed out her hair as little puffs of citrus scent floated around her. She hadn't felt this well-taken care of in weeks… in years… ever, if she were honest with herself. A bitter twist graced her lips as she realized that the first time someone had cared enough for her to offer her some special soap was while she was being held prisoner, of all things.

Hearing the sound of a shuttle landing outside the garrison, Rey quickly realized that it was the reason for the change in routine today. She quickly braided her hair into a single coil and tied it with the short ribbon she'd found on top of her carefully-folded new clothes. The clothes obviously belonged to a woman from the local village she'd seen on her way in, consisting of black leggings and a sleeved burgundy thigh-length tunic, with a black belt to cinch the baggy fabric in at the waist. She'd forgone the black boots as they'd been too tight, but really, she much preferred the feel of the cool rock on her bare feet. The sensation literally grounded her, providing her with a sense of calm as she stood and faced the door of her cell. She could hear two pairs of footsteps coming down the hallway. It was time to meet her fate.

Slowly the door opened, and she kept her eyes facing forward as two men stepped into the cell. The door closed behind them, locking shut once again.

She'd expected the man who was reaching up to remove his mask with a hiss: Kylo Ren, leader of the Knights of Ren, apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke. However, she hadn't expected the orange-haired man (though she did recognize him from Resistance films) standing to Kylo Ren's left, consciously giving the other man room to draw his lightsaber if necessary. Their body language spoke of a physical comfort with each other, a battle-readiness that would allow them to move together without words; it spoke of long years of practice together, and a trust that went bone-deep.

How odd – Finn had said that they seemed to hate each other, from the little he'd observed on Finalizer.

But the proof against Finn's words stood in front of Rey's more battle-weary eyes.

Rey suddenly realized that neither of them was speaking. They were staring at her, frowns tugging at their features, as if unsure what to quite make of her.

Rey, taking her pride in hand and shoving it to the side, slowly knelt in front of the two powerful men, who had obviously been personally sent to collect her. She needed to make sure everything was done right, and that they had no doubt in their minds of her intentions. She lifted her eyes to meet General Hux's startled green eyes, then quickly moved on to meet Kylo Ren's equally startled dark brown eyes. She threw down her mental barriers, knowing full-well what kind of Resistance secrets lay within, and held the other Force user's gaze as she spoke.

"I wish to join the Knights of Ren; the First Order. You will find the reasons why in the memories I freely offer you, First Knight…"

The general stepped back, eyes darting back and forth between the two figures as the thin young woman kept her gaze locked on Kylo Ren, and he on hers, as he slowly entered her mind.

Hux wasn't sure who had more power in this situation: the man on his feet, entering her mind, weapon clipped to his belt… or the woman on one knee, barefoot and weaponless, giving herself freely.

Note: I've returned to Tumblr as well, for contact and updating purposes. I can be found under Juuls.