Chapter 01 The Revival of the Platypus

Quanktumspirit: "After a group of kids request the aid of the reclusive Master Perry, he's forced to come out of his hiding place to assist them in defeating Doofus Khan. Now, he has to face the decision that he made several years ago and what it did to his true love."

The sky was as red blood as the dawn broke. I stepped out onto a ledge over-looking the alley below the Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness. What a name.

In my left hand, I held a spool of white string. In my right; a rectangular kite. It was tan with a koi fish painted into the fabric. I wore a red monk's robe with simple sandals. About now, the peasants in the Tri-Province Area would be rising from a short night of rest to begin their daily routines. Those up in the palace would be busying themselves with whatever missions were today. I sat down and let my kite lose into the wind.

It had been a long time since I'd left civilization to lead a contemplative life up here. I'd decided that a reclusive, lonely life would be far better than having to face each day without Kiki... or Xing... but they were long since dead. My nemesis, the unfortunately named Doofus Khan, had killed them before I'd gotten a chance to save them. I shook my head and took a deep breath; thinking about it only made it hurt more.

I watched the kite as it bobbed about in the wind. Today was warm. I had a feeling that it would pass without any rain or hail. It was a gut feeling, really. But I was usually right about that. My instinct had never failed me; it had been a key reason for my success as a Master of the Hu Ju, a group of warriors that were sworn to protect the Tri-Province Area under the command of General Carl and his overseer, the Regent Monogram. I had been third in command for a while before I just up and left. It made me wonder who had taken my place.

Again I shook my head. Thinking about the past only stung more. I was up here to be alone and away from it all. The only company I truly have was Adoy. That little green man from another planet had left me an entire spaceship to reach him, if there ever was a need, that is. I hadn't had much need as of late.

The string pulled taught a little. I tugged at it a little and let more string loos from the spool. My kite floated out a little further. That was I willed my uneasy spirit to be. As free of worry as the kite in the wind.

If my counting was right, today there would be a celebration in the Tri-Province Area. A parade would take place. It was something that happened every year. A royal would come through every town, province, and city. I'd never understood why. Perhaps it had already happened. Or was happening as I sat here. I closed my eyes and tried to picture the celebration going on. It had been years since I'd been anywhere close to another living soul.

For hours all I did was watch the kite as it bobbed in the wind. There wasn't much else I could do. I thought. More so contemplated. When one put his mind to it, there were numerous things to ponder; the only trouble with simply thinking is that it was often boring. I found myself occasionally craving social interaction. But I'd given that up when I'd left a note further down the mountain declaring my permanent solitude.

What I didn't expect was that it would be forcibly broken.

As I sat on my little ledge, a large foot of some sort suddenly landed beside me. I blinked and watched as a mechanical jiao appeared from below the ledge. Inside were four boys, not looking to be much older than twelve. One boy with a triangular head stepped out first. I stood up, hitching the spool in the ground to keep my kite from flying off, and walked over to him as well. I was tempted to let him know that he wasn't welcome. But something appeared... earnest about him.

"Master Perry," the boy said.

He pressed his hands together and bowed in respect. I did the same. "This is a great honour."

"Wow. I can't believe he's a platypus..." one boy in the jiao whispered to another.

A second boy with green hair walked up behind the first. The boy being whispered to gave the whisperer an incredulous look.

"Phineas pulls a mechanical jiao with mechanical feet out of his backpack and that is what bugs you?" the other boy responded.

The boys in front of me ignored them; it must have been normal for the other two to bicker like so.

"Master Perry!" the first boy said a second time. "Doofus Khan has kidnapped the Princess and only you can save her!"

What a bold statement. I'd never met this boy before; in fact, he was probably younger than the time I'd spent up here in my lonesome. He seemed so sure that I was the answer to his problem. I shook my head and put my hands up. No. There was no need to verbalize it to him. The answer was no. I wasn't about to screw up saving someone's life again. The kid seemed a little confused at this. He frowned.

"You mean you won't?" he asked. "But why Master Perry? What made you give up the life of a warrior hero?"

Okay, so this kid was being a little intrusive. I was trying to remember any happy memories about my past life, with Kiki and Xing, and I couldn't come up with any apart from the time I left, not a good way to start my thoughts off.

"What's he doing?" the kid blinked.

I paid him no mind. The boy beside him decided to offer his own explanation. I was lost in thoughts about my family and how I'd failed them. What if I hadn't tested the bounds Dofus Khan had set? Would they still be with me together?

"That's a ripple dissolve," the other kid said. "He must be having a flashback."

Flashback indeed. What did the kid know about anything? He'd never been so stupid as to get someone he loved harmed and scared away from once own embrace, I'd bet on that. I've always been a good better. So it was safe to say that he didn't know anything. He was just a kid with some futile mission.

"Does he know we can't see it?" the first kid frowned. "Should we give him some privacy? I don't know the protocol for flashbacks."

I brought my attention back to the surface and blinked at them. Why were they even still here? I'd just blatantly refused to save their Princess. Couldn't they just leave already? I was of no use to them if I wouldn't come with them or answer their plea for help. Yes, I suppose it would be a rude excuse, but if lives could be spared of infinitesimal mistakes, then rude I would have to be.

"Is he back?" the first kid glanced at me, then looks at the second. "He's back."

I blinked. Leave me be, I thought. Leave me to my misery.

"Well, judging by the time you spent staring off into space, I'm guessing something pretty bad. But someone has to rescue the Princess, if you won't come with us at least you can train us to do it ourselves."

Who did they think I was, Li Shang from the famous Disney movie Mulan? I was tempted to send them right back down the mountain. They'd climbed up here and they could climb right back down and leave me be.

But the sincerity with which this kid expressed himself tugged a little at my stone cold heart. It was the same sincerity I'd expressed many years ago with General Carl and the Regent Monogram- the undying desire to prove one's self. Now, what he wanted to prove and to whom he wanted to prove himself to was none of my concern. Could I train four boys that had randomly shown up on my 'front doorstep?' I didn't doubt it. They hadn't once dubbed me a Master just because they felt pity for the poor peasant boy who'd lost his livelihood gambling and drinking.

I pressed my palms together and bowed. The kids didn't need any other proof. I was helping in the only way I would. That was enough for them. And it was certainly enough for a hasty musical montage.

Waving a hand, and still keeping my mouth shut, I brought them in front of a large temple that sat atop the mountain No one knew what for- it had been abandoned ever since I'd first climbed the mountain as a test given by General Carl during my training and probably much longer. They all looked around in wonder at the beautiful place I dwelled in.

"So, Master Perry, what will you be teaching us?" the first kid questioned.

"Just listen to the song," I told them, giving in.

Somewhere, and no, I won't tell you where music started to play.

Oh yeah!

In other circumstances, you might fail,

'Cause I know you don't have a beaver tail.

You're not a platypus, but I'm gonna see you sweat...

All: Milk!

We're going to see how much you can take,

I'm going to work you through your union break.

You squeeze a silkworm, what you think you're gonna get?

All: Silk!

But I know a way we can make you a warrior, Even though now you're a wuss:

It's the way of the Platypus!

But that's just the general information. Here are some of the specific things you can look forward to in your workout!

You'll wanna run up a ramp with two buckets of water,

Swing over muck for some reason.

At some point, you'll drop to your knees when it's raining And look up into the sky-y...

You'll stand on a post with your arms out, Hey, these flowers are way out of season!

You'll fly to a swamp planet, meet a little green man, And move big, heavy things with your mi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ind...

But I know a way we can make you a warrior, Even though now you're a wuss: It's the way of the Platypus! It's the way of the Platypus!

The gang of kids were certainly happy to know that the musical workout would help them, so that's what we spent the day doing. I had to admit, for the most part, the kids were easy to teach. It made me reminisce back on the days when I was a kid training to be a warrior. Granted, I had never had the kinds of problems that Baljeet ended up having. The poor boy was clumsy and uncoordinated.

We stopped for a quick snack at about noontime. I only had some rice cakes that I'd made by myself and some peppers that I'd grown, but none of them really seemed to be bothered by that.

"I'm tired," Buford grumbled.

"You are tired?" Baljeet huffed with an insult. "I am tired of falling and tripping and being left behind all the time!"

"That's a personal problem, 'Jeet'," Buford snickered.

He grabbed another rice cake and munched on it. "But next time we get into trouble, don't dump the bucket of water we need to wash the wall with on my head. I don't think Master Perry was too happy with that."

I glanced at them on hearing my name. He was right about one thing- I wasn't too happy. But it couldn't technically be attributed to their water fight. Even if this was a way to help without having to show my face, the dread that they'd eventually need help that couldn't be offered from afar weighed on my heart a little.

What if Doofus Khan was too much for them? I might have been a great teacher, but if they had only been trained today, then who's to say that they wouldn't face defeat later?

"Master Perry?"

Blinking out of my thoughts, I looked over to see Phineas frowning at me. The others were still snacking, but this boy had broken away just to talk. Why me?

"Yes?" I waited.

"I've heard stories," he said slowly.

"Okay?" I frowned. This didn't seem to be going anywhere. "That's nice."

"They were the most glorious stories," he continued.

I did my best not to physically express how much I did not want to hear this.

"They were about the Masters of old. How they were fierce, brave warriors. How they battled against the biggest enemies China's ever seen and never gave up, even in defeat."

"Yeah," I said through clenched teeth. "What's your point, kid?"

"Were you one of those Masters?" he cocked his head in question.

I felt my heart skip a beat. It would have been the right thing to do, I suppose, to tell him that I wasn't. I'd failed a mission, let innocent people die, and then fled for fear of my own guilt. Those were not the actions of a hero, of a master.

"Does it matter what type of Master I was?" I said, trying not to let my feelings show through. Phineas shifted his feet a little and looked down.

"I suppose not," he hummed. "But... you don't reveal much."

"You're darn right I don't," I said hastily. I stood up and walked a few paces away from him. "You wouldn't either, kid."

Phineas didn't respond. He silently returned to his friends and finished up his snack. I watched them from where I was standing and gave them a few minutes. They kind of deserved a break. Being hard on them wouldn't necessarily make their progress any quicker. Once it seemed like they were done with eating, I came back over and gave them a quick look.

"Alright, back to work," I said.

We spent most of the afternoon training some more. Baljeet got increasingly less clumsy, but he did manage to sneeze during a quick lesson with Adoy... I'll just say that Adoy and I had to make sure everyone was still alive after we got the rock off of them.

He and Buford did get in trouble a second time, but I decided that a little 'wax on, wax off' would just end with a doused Buford again. I put them to work writing on some parchment what they did wrong ninety times or so. (Buford's calligraphy totally sucks, just to let you know). By the time the sun was starting to set in the west, we'd wrapped up the lessons and the kids were eager to be on their way.

I brought them back out to the ledge that they'd first arrived on. My kite was still bouncing on the wind. The setting sun looked very close to the rising one- blood red. Phineas walked over to his backpack and pulled out a jiao on a pogo stick (or something like that). I frowned. That kid was weirding me out.

Buford, Baljeet, and Ferb all got into the jiao and waited for Phineas. The boy looked at me with a sort of pleading look, but it definitely wasn't as desperate as his face from when we'd first met this morning. He took a breath before speaking.

"Are you sure you won't come with us, Master Perry?" he asked. "The kingdom really needs you back."

I looked out into the sunset and thought about it a little. Perhaps the Tri-Province Area did need me back. But that version of me was long gone. I resisted the urge to let tears slip out of my eyes. A platypus that couldn't save his own family certainly couldn't be trusted to save an entire civilization.

"He's doing it again," I heard Buford mumble.

Right, the rippling. I blinked to see that Phineas had climbed into the jiao and was getting ready to leave. Walking over to where I'd tied up my kite, I waited until the jiao started to bounce away into the sunset. The kids waved. I didn't wave back.

"Goodbye, Perry!" I heard them call.

I sat back down and untied my kite. It caught on the wind and flew a little higher. Tugging at the string, I made sure it was nice and loose for it to fly. Sighing, I watched it bob up and down for a second.

A hand appeared on the ledge and a girl with bright orange hair pulled herself over it. She had a mad look on her face. Wow, she looked like she'd had a rough day. Her hair was a mess, as were her clothes. I was mostly shocked that she'd climbed the Unclimbable Mountain of Unclimbableness without any tools. I looked straight at her. She glared at me.

"Where…are…they…?" she growled.

I stared back into the sunset. Oh, by now they'd be half-way to Doofus Khan's Multi-Level Yurt, I thought. Soon, they'll be battling the greatest terror they've ever known in hopes to save a princess that I didn't know existed. I might just have sent them to their doom. But it wasn't my decision, oh no. They made that decision all by themselves. Will they win? Will they lose? Oh, only time will tell. Maybe I should go and help them. No! That'd only end in tears! I mustn't!

"You know I can't see anything, right?" the girl frowned.

Darned rippling. I stood up and started to reel in my kite. Certainly, it was a mad streak, but those kids were going to end up killing themselves. How could I have been so stupid? If not to save the world, I had to go to save those poor kids from destroying themselves. I could never live with their blood on my hands as well.

"Hey, are you gonna answer my question?" the girl asked angrily. "I thought you were some reputable Master! You're supposed, to be honest, and tell me where my little brothers and their dorky friends went!"

"Sorry, kid, but I'm not about to let you go after them," I told her, running back up to my dwelling place.

I had to don my warrior gear. Today, I was going to do something for the first time in a long time. I pulled on my old suit and quickly snagged a wig out of the closet. I grabbed my kite and a staff and ran straight for the cliff. The girl issued a quick 'hey' to me.

"Hang on, Phineas and company- Master Perry's coming back!"

Quanktumspirit: "Please review."