Wednesday 01/03/2017

[16:57] Unknown Number
Incoming file…
File received.

Incoming file…
File received.

Incoming file…
File received.

[16:57] Unknown Number
let me know what u think?

[17:04] Shiro
Um, please help!
I just received three rather, uhhh, compromising photos of a guy from an unknown number.

[17:06] Matto
is he hot?

[17:06] Shiro
Not helpful?!

[17:06] Matto
i didn't hear a 'no'
go for it big guy

[17:07] Shiro
He's a stranger?!

[17:07] Matto
see this is why you continuously fail to meet people and therefore will be #foreveralone
man up takashi, we're all strangers at some point

[17:10] Shiro
I am NOT "manning up" for some guy who randomly/accidentally sent me almost nudes.
I don't know what to do!

[17:11] Matto
ok you're actually hopeless, it's as endearing as it is ridiculous
YOU'RE , just tell him he has the wrong number
also send me the 'almost nudes' before you delete them please and thank you 3

[17:11] Shiro
You have no shame.

[17:11] Matto
never heard of it XD

[17:12] Shiro
Uh, hi. I'm sorry but I think you have the wrong number?

[17:13] Unknown Number
ha! very funny ALLURA

[17:13] Shiro
I'm not 'Allura'? Is that even a name?

[17:13] Unknown Number
oh yeh, if ur not allura then why r u typing all proper?

[17:16] Shiro
Because this is the way normal people type? I'm not even sure HOW you type like that on modern phones…

[17:16] Unknown Number
see u even have the sass of allura! explain that Miss Not Allura

[17:17] Shiro
Um, okay, this is the weirdest conversation I have had with a stranger.
Just don't worry about the photos, I've deleted them.
Have a nice day.

[17:17] Unknown Number
holyshit! u really arent allura! she would never say 'um' because political suicide and all…
OHFUCKSHIT
I SENT YOU PICS I AM SO SORRY DUDE
omg i probably scarred u 4 life
my bad
wait ur not underage or anythin? i didnt send nudes 2 a minor did i? im not gonna b tracked by the fbi or some shit?

[17:28] Shiro
No, you're safe. I'm well and truly of age.

[17:29] Unknown Number
ohgod ur not like old r u?
r u gonna tell me u deleted the photos only to jerk off to them later?

[17:28] Shiro
What?! NO! I've deleted them already, they're gone.
And I'm not "old."

[17:29] Unknown Number
ill believe u 4 now
did u happen to look at them enough to form an opinion bcoz i really need 1
and apparently my asshat friends thought itd b funny 2 change all the numbers in my phone

[17:32] Shiro
No, I barely saw them.

[17:32] Unknown Number
sounds like a poorly veiled lie to me
help me kind stranger, ur my only hope!

[17:35] Shiro
Okay Leia, the black boxer briefs were the best cut but the blue looked nicer on you.

[17:37] Unknown Number
my hero!
ayy my man gets my references! 3
wait, r u a man? woman? nb? alien? all of the above?

[17:45] Shiro
I'm male. Alien? Are you a conspiracy theorist?
…Why am I still texting you?

[18:12] Unknown Number
nah just good friends with one, that shit stays with u man
and idk dude, either ur super bored OR ur one of those too-nice people who doesnt want to b rude and wont end the convo first
my bet is the 2nd considering the formal texting and the (greatly appreciated) help with the briefs even tho u were likely uncomfortable af

[18:22] Shiro
Wow. For someone who texts like an excitable teen that was rather insightful of you.

[18:22] The Excitable Stranger
wow rude
n here i was paying u compliments

[19:03] Shiro
Sorry. You're correct though. That is… very me.
Wait, you're NOT an excitable teen are you? I'M not going to be tracked down for being sent these?

[19:03] The Excitable Stranger
i thought u deleted them so what difference does it make?

[19:04] Shiro
My best friend is a tech genius and says that no digital information is truly lost from devices.
Also that all sent/received forms of information is tracked by the government.
I just have to check.

[19:06] The Excitable Stranger
well thats… absolutely terrifying
4 ur piece of mind, im 21
jfc i didnt think i was THAT gangly that u couldnt tell i wasnt underage D: killme

[19:06] Shiro
Oh no, sorry, I really didn't look at them THAT closely. It's an invasion of privacy.
My opinions were based on the glimpses of the thumbnails on my messaging screen.
And yes, terrifying is certainly the right word for it.

[19:06] The Excitable Stranger
i really shouldn't trust ur opinion then… but i think ur right anyway, i do look amazing in blue
and wow ur really the Knight In Shining Armour type arent u? in this day and age… u must be a unicorn
and it doesnt worry me that much, its just skin, we all have it, we all have bits and bobs

[19:07] Shiro
Well, I suppose that's true. But the consent of the person is still essential.

[19:08] The Excitable Stranger
jesus dude what r u? a lawyer?

[19:08] Shiro
That's the plan, yes.

[19:08] The Excitable Stranger
well colour me impressed, meaning ur still studying
law is looong u could be anywhere between 18 and 25

[19:08] Shiro
I am definitely somewhere in that age bracket.

[19:09] The Excitable Stranger
ohwow how did i not pick up on the lawyer talk soonr
dinner time is a religious experience in my house so i gotta put the phone away
nice talking 2 u, glad my photos got accidentally sent 2 a nice guy like u 3
thank u for not being a creep

[19:22] Shiro
Uh, you're welcome. I guess?
I don't know what else I would have even done with the situation.

[22:11] The Excitable Stranger
u innocent sweet angel unicorn ^_^
g'night kind sir *tips hat*

[22:13] Shiro
Goodnight, Interesting Stranger.

[20:18] Keith
ahhh Shiro? why are there half naked waist down pictures of some dude on my phone?
it says they're from your phone?

[20:18] Shiro
What? What the hell are you talking about?
Where even are you? Why aren't you home?

[20:18] Keith
i'm at Katie and Matts
are these of some real dude you know? they don't look like internet porn?
wait no i don't want to know

[20:19] Shiro
I? Don't? Know? What? You're? Talking? About?

[20:22] Keith
geez okay too much Suits for you, Harvey
i just showed Matt and he said they came from the cloud, he's also pissing himself laughing… if that means anything to you

[20:22] Shiro
Shit! Delete them!

[20:23] Keith
he said it doesn't matter if i do they'll just upload to my phone again when I get home
are you dating someone? little peeved you didn't tell me

[20:23] Shiro
I'm not dating anyone, Keith! Just. Shit.

[20:23] Shiro
Get your skinny nerdy ass over here right now and fix this!
And don't you DARE tell Keith or Katie where the pictures are from!
And STOP LAUGHING!

[20:23] Matto
I didn't tell them, sheesh
TAKASHI YOU NEED TO GET IN ON THAT
BOY IS FIIIIIINE

[20:23] Shiro
I will throttle you. Please Matt, for the love of my sanity, fix this stupid cloud!

[20:23] Matto
shit, you never use more than one exclamation mark, this IS serious
did you converse with him? do you respect him…? *gasp*

[20:23] Shiro
MATT!

[20:24] Matto
fine fine, im returning your brother to you AND fixing your cloud
i deserve sainthood tbh

[20:24] Shiro
Maybe just some points back from the negative score in Bestfriendhood from laughing at my misfortune.

[20:24] Matto
i'll take it!

[22:12] lance
it was u wasnt it -.-

[22:15] sass pidgeon
I have no idea what you're talking about XD

[22:15] lance
whyre all of the women in my life so full of sass!? and shit, ur currently full o shit
it wasnt hunk because hes not that cruel, this screams PIDGE

[22:16] sass pidgeon
:O I am OFFENDED, I'm not cruel!

[22:18] lance
dude ur fkn savage and u know it
i know u did it, u know u did it, the world knows u did it
the real question is, who tf is this random number u added

[22:18] sass pidgeon
okay I will admit I was the mastermind behind all the number swapping
*takes bow*
but I really don't know about this "random number"

[22:18] lance
like hell u dont!
i practically sent him nudes pidge! this is SERIOUS

[22:18] sass pidgeon
Lance I s2g I didn't add any numbers to your phone
I mean, you had a lot of random ones, maybe it's one you got ages ago and don't remember?

[22:21] lance
finefine… i guess ur probs right

Thursday 02/03/2017

[11:39] lance
so i organised all the numbers in my phone and ur no longer 'princess lulu'
which is devastating 4 u because shes legit #queen
anyway, point is i dont know u and i have no idea how i got ur number…
did i get ur number at a bar or something?

[11:48] a gentleman and a scholar
Hello to you too. I really don't know, doesn't sound like something I'd do.

[11:49] lance
youre a college student who DOEN'T pick up dudes (chicks? nb? other? aliens?) at a bar?

[11:49] a gentleman and a scholar
Men. And correct, I don't.

[11:52] lance
r U an alien?

[11:52] a gentleman and a scholar
My brother would LOVE that. But no. I just don't really feel the need to.

[11:52] lance
ok… ur either so hot that u have people drooling all over u everywhere u go
OR ur ace

[11:58] a gentleman and a scholar
I'm not asexual and I'm not even going to touch the other option.
Why are you even asking me about this?

[11:58] lance
im really curious, people fascinate me, we're all so different, u know?
ur a pretty interesting specimen thus far
like i said, ur a unicorn, a rarity
so u dont hook up with dudes?

[11:58] a gentleman and a scholar
Not particularly. I've never really been one of those guys.

[12:00] lance
please dont tell me ur this really attractive guy goin around pent up with sexual frustration because ur introverted and gentlemanly
because THAT would just b so wrong!

[13:17] a gentleman and a scholar
Sorry, I had a class.
No, I'm not… any of those things. I've had a couple of serious relationships over the past few years. One relationship was 3 years long and ended amicably and the other was 2 years and ended really badly. That was my last relationship and it's left me… well, wanting a break.
I have no idea why I'm telling you any of this.

[13:26] lance
i get that a lot, its my natural charm
sometimes its easier opening up to strangers than people we're close to

[13:29] a gentleman and a scholar
I'm starting to think your Major is Psychology…

[13:29] lance
HA what gave me away? social psych btw

[13:29] a gentleman and a scholar
Are you shrinking me?

[13:30] lance
what, no, twould b entirely unethical of me 2 use my mad psych skills on an unwitting participant

[13:30] a gentleman and a scholar
So, that's a yes then.

[13:34] lance
im not SHRINKING u (btw we hate that term) not that im qualified or anything, yet
it just comes naturally, i can't really help it, just like ur lawyer talk/mind

[13:34] a gentleman and a scholar
Okay, fair enough.

[13:39] lance
ok im making a game Guess How Old The Gentlemen Is, i get 1 guess a day and i have to guess it before the 7 year guess bracket is over
thats a lot of years of relationships, so… r u 24?

[13:41] a gentleman and a scholar
No. You're expecting to still be talking to the random stranger you sent partial nudes to in six days?

[13:41] lance
yeh, i mean, if ur still replying :)
did u actually delete the pics?

[16:08] a gentleman and a scholar
Sorry, class. They're deleted, you have my word.

[16:10] lance
well coming from a Knight In Shining Armour i think i should believe u

[16:10] a gentleman and a scholar
I'm just a normal guy.

[16:11] lance
thats what all the best heroes say
so do u go to bars/clubs at all?
im still so confused as to how i got ur number

[16:18] a gentleman and a scholar
I try to avoid them but sometimes get dragged along by my friends.

[16:18] lance
why do u avoid them? dont like people?

[16:18] a gentleman and a scholar
No, people are fine, bars and clubs just really aren't my scene.
I didn't mind it when I had a partner, but now they make me… uncomfortable.

[16:20] lance
translation: too many people hit on u
which, i would love to say 'well boo-fuckity-hoo 4 u' but that WOULD actually b annoying
shit i was probably 1 of the annoying people hitting on u…

[16:20] a gentleman and a scholar
I don't think so.

[16:20] lance
why not?

[16:21] a gentleman and a scholar
I just think I'd… remember you.

[16:21] lance
…how?

[16:27] a gentleman and a scholar
You know, with all the insightfulness and

[16:27] lance
and what?

[16:31] a gentleman and a scholar
No, sorry, I didn't mean to send that. There is no and.

[16:31] lance
i dunno i see an 'and' (: i can screenshot it if u like

[16:33] lance
dude seriously and what?

[16:56] lance
ohwow ur really going to let me hang on this one arent u?

[16:56] lance
so. rude.

[18:34] lance
is it my ass, is that what u were going to say then decided to delete and epic failed

[18:46] a gentleman and a scholar
Oh Jesus, no, I wasn't going to say your ass! I was going to say interesting. You're interesting.
I've said it before.

[18:48] lance
oh cool, thanks dude, thought i was going to have to change ur name from 'a gentleman and a scholar' ;)

[18:49] a gentleman and a scholar
That's what I am in your phone? That's… really nice actually.

[18:49] lance
im a nice person ^_^

[19:56] princess lulu
Sweetheart, who were you messaging today? Did you meet someone and NOT tell me?
I came into The Grind to get coffee today and noticed you hunched over your phone smiling. You didn't even notice me. I would have said hello but I was in a rush.

[20:18] lance
sorry, dinner, u know how it is
and no, of course u'd be the first 2know if i met someone! even b4 hunk! (tbh because im more scared of u)
u probably caught me watching cat videos :3

[20:20] princess lulu
Oh, that's true, you're utterly hopeless for cute cat videos.
Goodness I haven't had Hunk's heavenly cooking in a whole week and I think I'm going through withdrawals.
I'm coming with Shay tomorrow night.

[20:20] lance
oh bless ur soul, its movie night tomorrow 3 i love them so much and theyre so good about it but 3rd wheeling so often is tough

[20:21] princess lulu
But they're so sweet!

[20:21] lance
so sweet, too sweet, impossibly sweet, every happiness 2 them both

[20:21] princess lulu
You're just bitter because you haven't had someone since Nyma.
Oh gosh, that was so long ago now that I think about it…
You poor thing!

[20:21] lance
dont remind me D:

[20:21] princess lulu
We need to find you someone!

[20:23] lance
have u noticed lately that everyone just seems like a fkn carbon copy of the last person?
or is that just me?
maybe i just repel interesting people

[20:23] princess lulu
Am I not interesting?

[20:23] lance
ok i forfeit my argument =/
but like people outside of my friend bubble

[20:23] princess lulu
Is this why you haven't seemed very interested in going out lately?

[20:26] lance
yeah lulu idk what im doing anymore
dudes are dudes, chicks are chicks, people are people and its all just fuckery
not even the good kind

[20:27] princess lulu
Perhaps you should take a break from trying? Perhaps all the people you're meeting are blurring together because you're meeting too many? Perhaps your expectations are too high?
Also, we of the socially minded are doomed to see too much of people too quickly.

[20:29] lance
damn dude, can u just run this country already, look at ur magnificent brain go
so ur suggesting my Looking For Relationship status go on hiatus?
just pick up to get my knob wobbled on occasion

[20:31] princess lulu
Say "knob wobbled" to me ever again and I'll cut it off.
And I suppose that is what I'm saying, I think it would be a good idea. Though I would suggest being cautious with the picking up for purely physical needs. Do you have a friend who could offer a safer option?

[20:31] lance
r u offering :P

[20:31] princess lulu
Oh, har har, Lance. Your hilarity knows no bounds.

[20:31] lance
i know i know, im the funniest :D
im always safe, dont u worry

[20:33] princess lulu
History is against you in the "always safe" assertion.
Keep me in the loop please. I just want you to be happy.

[20:34] lance
i kno and ur a damn angel 4 it 3