My feet dragged, my heart was a block in my chest, and all the blood I had recently consumed, sloshed around in my stomach. I felt sick.

What had I done?

The words reverberated in my head, demanding, questioning, condemning.

What had I done?

I only stopped when Jane did, we had been walking along an underground passage, since none of the vampires were about to go out into the sunlight. We had stopped at what looked like a dead end. There were no lights in the hallway, these ancient passages that ran under the city were used mainly by the vampires, and they had no need of lights. Her pale fingers glowed in the darkness, she pressed a stone causing a doorway to open up. When we stepped through we were in the office of the villa the Voltori had provided me and Jacob. Can't say I was happy to find out they had direct access to my home, an entryway I hadn't even been aware of.

Jane waved me through, her face was masked by darkness and her cloak. Trudging past I turned in time to watch the doorway slide out from the wall and seal itself closed. If a person didn't know this door was there would never have guessed. I turned back to the office. Since moving in I had spent more time at court then at home. The entire place belonged more to Jacob than to me. From morning till night I was with the others, the vampires. Tension had been mounting between Jacob and I due to this. The office itself was fairly bare, it only held a desk, a chair, and a throw rug.

What had I done?

My stomach heaved, stumbling to the wall I pressed my forehead against it. Again the death played before my eyes. The fear on her face, the snap of her neck, the warm blood flowing past my lips and down my throat, and most of all the taste. Nothing tasted better than human blood, and I hated myself for it. What would my family think of what I had done? Was revenge worth all this? Worth becoming a monster? Was this really what my family wanted? Stubbornly I stamped down the thoughts, it had gone too far to stop now. Determined I straightened and exited the office. I made a beeline straight for my room, hoping to bypass Jacob and clean myself up before he saw me. Some people had all the luck, I am not one of them.

"Ness!" His voice normally welcome froze me in my track. It was angry and concerned, stupid of me to think I could hide this. Stupid of me to hope he didn't know what had happened, how could he not? I stank of blood not my own and my clothing was splattered with it. I had complained often enough of the Volturi feeding frenzy. Knowing myself caught I turned to face him stiffly, hyper aware of the stiffness of the dried blood on my face and hands. If he had any doubts before one look at the blood streaks on my mouth would have given him all the answers he needed. His dear face twisted with disgust, with me. My heart contracted, and tears sprang to my eyes. I could take on the world, but I couldn't stand to have Jacob against me. Not him.

"Jaco-" I started, faltered, and broke down. Tears dribbled down my cheeks and the look on his face softened. Like a child I held my arms out, a sob breaking past my lips. With a curse he caved and took me in his arms where I bawled, babbling apologies to a person it didn't belong too. The warmth of his body was soothing, the soft crone in my hair calming. When I was done I told him everything. Every dirty detail, including how I felt consuming the woman, and my regret afterwards. He listened, in silence, and when the tale concluded he turned away. My body felt cold without his arms, incomplete, like a vital part of me was missing. "Jacob…" I started again.

"Ness… don't… I knew this would happen. You can't keep doing this." He cut me off, his face hard when he turned back.

"I have too.. don't you see?" My voice was a whisper, a prayer, begging him to understand. He didn't.

"No! No I don't see! What I do see is you coming back to me covered in blood. I see you coming home day after day changed from the girl who came here." He paused, swallowing hard and I echoed the motion, forcing down the well of feeling building in my throat. "I tell you what I don't see, I don't see Nessie. I see a vampire." That hard look was back in his eye. "What would your parents think? What would your family think? Bella and Edward would be horrified."

"Don't you dare bring them into this!" My voice broke on the words, my mothers beautiful features swam before my eyes, her face echoing Jacob's disgusted features. "Don't you dare!" I yelled again, using anger to overcome my feelings of guilt.

"Aren't you doing all this for them? Well they wouldn't want this." His gesturing hand took in all of me, anger welled up. Thankfully it was anger.

"I won't ever know what they'll want! The Volturi killed them!" My voice had risen to a screech, fury lacing through the words. "They need to pay! Pay for the deaths of my parents and for all those they hurt in their search for power! It's wrong!" We were squared off, our argument bringing us to the kitchen. A quaint little thing that had probably never seen a fight between a half vampire and a werewolf. Who ever had?

"I know it's not this! They value your life more than you do." That brought me up short, I glared at him. "You can't do this anymore I won't allow it." His voice held a note of finality.

"You won't allow it? Since when did you become my parent Jacob?" I hissed, hating that he was treating me like such a child.

"I did when your parents entrusted you to my care when they died." I hated him for that then, for speaking the truth, for treating me like a child, and most of all for reminding me that he was never going to see me as a grown woman. He only ever saw the little girl, I wasn't a little girl anymore, and I didn't need a parent.

"Consider that responsibility over! I can take care of myself." Knowing even as I said it how churlish I sounded.

"Clearly not, we're leaving, on the earliest flight I can find." He turned away before I could respond, striding towards his room. I couldn't leave him thinking he could just order me around like that. How dare he treat me like a moronic child?

"You can go and good riddance." I shouted after him, I had the pleasure of watching his shoulders bunch up before I whirled away and stomped to my room. I had no doubt Jacob would attempt to take me kicking and screaming back home. Resentment flared up within me, I had thought he was seeing me as an adult, but he never would. I sat on the corner of my poster bed. My room was sparsely decorated since I spent so much time away. It had barely changed in the time I had been here. "He can't make me go back home…" I couldn't leave, not yet. I was so close, to what, I wasn't even sure. But, I had become desperate to find out. There was something here for me, it had started as simple revenge and transformed into so much more. Jacobs door slammed, he was fuming in his room no doubt. My hands balled into fists, my nails pricking into my palms.

"He can't do this to me." I mumbled to myself, unable to contain the anger I had begun pacing the room. Well, he couldn't do this if he couldn't find me. I just had to go back, there was unfinished business here.