Trigger warning VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Emma's pov

The dark ones voices never go away, they're always there, feeding you lies about yourself.

It's hard to get rid of the demons inside you. Because they were holding you when no one else did.

"Emma love, are you okay?" Killian asks from the other side of the bathroom door. I close my eyes and let out one more silent sob.

"I'm fine, I'll be out in a minute." I get off of the bathroom floor and got to the sink, I rinse off my razor blade and my thigh.

"Emma what are you doing in there!" Killian demands to be told and I cringe.

You made him mad

Go ahead tell him, show him, no one can love a girl with scars

Once he finds out you'll be the poor little orphan girl again

Regina will never let you see henry again once she finds out.

"ENOUGH!" I scream at the demons and Killian breaks the door handle again, to get in.

"Emma, again?" He says looking at my wrist.

"Yes again, I'm sorry, I really really tried but they won't shut up!" I say covering my ears and sinking to the ground.

Killian picks me up and wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace.

"Emma, I know I hear them too. You just have to ignore them." He says prying the razor blade away from my hand that is cutting into my hands and fingers.

He finally prys it out of my hand and puts the toilet seat up and throw it in.

I let out a sob as he flushes it down.

"Emma love, we're going to the couch now, okay." He says and I nod, he picks me up and we walk over to the couch, he sets me down and goes into the bathroom.

I hear the toilet flush again a few times and it hurts every timeI hear it.

He comes back with the box of bandages.

"Let me see them love." I give him myarms reluctantly. He kisses each one of them, then he puts a bandaid on them.

"I'm sorry Killian, I promised I wouldn't, I lied, I'm a liar, you said you trusted me not to cut anymore and I broke your trust, I don't deserve you Killian." I babble on and tears poor down my face

He's going to leave you

You won't have anyone

Just us, we're the people who accept you.

"Emma love, tell me what's going on." Killain says wiping my tears

"Everyday they tell me something new I hate about myself. They stick to one thing the whole day and the next day it's another thing." I break down ever more rolling from my side to my back , my head on Killian's lap.

"Please stop Emma, I love you, let the demons be." He says and it's not that simple, the demons don't sleep, they're in my dreams. They know my deepest darkest secrets.

Don't let us be, were the only one who accept you for your worthless self

"Killain, I love you, I don't want you to have to deal with my baggage, I want you to find a woman who's whole, who doesn't cry at night, who wants to go out, who doesn't have to risk her life to save a town who doesn't even know she's drowning in her own mind, I want you to find a woman who can be there for you."

"Emma stop, I love you."

He's lying

"I love you. That's why I want you to go.

"I'm not leaving!"

He's just saying that

"GET OUT! I WANT YOU OUT!" I scream and get up and run to our room and locking the door.

Do it

You know you want to, everyone will be happier

Doooooo iiit!

The dark ones voices hiss in my head

I take out the pills and suicide note from the drawer. It reads

Dear Killian

I can't swim any longer

I can't hold my breath

I've been trying so hard

But The waves slowly

Pulling me under

And think I'll let them

Tell Henry I'm sorry, I love him, and to take care of Violet

Tell Regina to keep Robin's memories alive

Tell mom and dad I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect daughter they dreamt of.

Tell baby Neal to take care of mom and dad

Tell rumple he's an asshole

Tell belle rumple is the dark one

Tell Roland auntie Emmie will watch him forever

Tell Zelena to let go of the jealousy and raise baby Robin.

And Killian, my true love, my Prince Charles. I didn't want to leave you but I had to this was my choice, don't spend two hundred years avenging my death becuase this was my choice, find a girl who can make you happy, forget about me. Let me die the way I want to.

I love you Killian Jones, but please forget about me.

"EMMA RUTH SWAN OPEN THIS DOOR OR ELSE IM BREAKING DOWN THIS DOOR." Killain screams at the top of his lungs In his angry caring voice.

"I'm sorry Killian I love you ." I say just loud enough for him to hear.

"EMMA NO!" He bangs his shoulder against the door and tries to knock it down.

I open the bottle and shake the pills into my hands. He can hear them because it was his body full force hitting the door.

I pop all the pills into my mouth and swallow them all.

I see Killian running to me crying full force and grabs me in his arms.

"Why Emma? I could've helped you." He says as he grabs and cradles my face in his hands.

And by the way, he really did love you, it's too late now. You're one of us now. A dead dark one

"Let me go Killian, I love you." He kisses me hard and I take my last breath.

"Emma no." Is the last thing I ever hear.