First story in a really long time.
Before you go for it, be warned that english is not my language and I don't have a beta reader.
Enjoy it.
Acceptance.
Regina is done with all of this drama.
It's been so long since she last enjoyed a whole peaceful day with her son, with her family, and this last event has tired her more than even herself could understand.
She chose to believe that she could finally get rid of her past, of her evil deeds and all the horrible pain she had inflicted in so many lives, and the truth is: she was definitely wrong.
Trying to separate herself from her other half – and only now she can see right through it – was the worst idea she could had ever had.
The Evil Queen is a part of her and a very important one.
If she had stopped to deal with it and think about it, she would have realized that if she is who she is now, that is because of her, all parts of her. She would have realized that she has been through many dark and painful moments, but the main reason why she managed to overcome those moments is the Queen.
Now she can see that the Evil Queen was created not to inflict pain, but to take it for herself. She may be the evil voice inside their head and Regina may be the good one, but the truth is that it was the Queen who took all the pain, hurt, and hatred directed to them all of those years ago.
She's protected Regina, in all the wrong ways it may be, but it is easy to see it now… The Evil Queen's always protected Regina, and she always will.
It's easy to see it when, in the middle of their fight, she throws a fireball at the Evil Queen, who manages to divert from it and by instinct sends Regina flying right against the glass table in the middle of her living room.
It's easy to see it when she falls to the floor in excruciating pain surrounded by thousand little pieces of glass and the Queen, realizing she wasn't getting up any time soon, is by her side in a matter of seconds.
She's in pain and she doesn't know what exactly is hurting, because it feels like every single cell of her body is being cut. She's still angry, but the look on the Queen's face slowly pacifies this anger… It's written all over her face that she didn't mean to hurt her, not physically, never like this.
"I'm sorry." The Queen says suddenly terrified. "I didn't mean to hurt you… not like this."
And it's crazy to hear her saying this but somehow she knows that it is true. Deeply true.
Regina tries to answer something, tries to jerk away from the Queen or simply growl at her but all she's able to do is groan in pain. She's in so much pain and it kind of confuses her because she's only been thrown at the table, right? It shouldn't hurt this much and certainly it shouldn't make her feel weak or sleepy.
"Let me see you." The Queen offers slowly, but Regina groans again and this time is actually able to growl at her. "Come on, I said I'm sorry."
"Get… away… from-" Regina manages to say, tries to move and cries out in excruciating pain again, this time finding the epicenter of her pain. Her stomach.
She moves her hand to her stomach and it surprises her when it comes back completely soaked with blood.
"Oh God!" The Queen sigh in surprise and in the next second she is fussing over Regina, trying to understand what is wrong with her.
It turns out that a very large piece of glass has cut Regina from her back through her stomach and there is so much blood being lost and Regina is rapidly becoming paler and quieter and oh God what have they done!
"I'm gonna heal you." The Queen says loudly, trying to catch Regina's attention back to her and not to her bloodstained hands. "Hold on."
However, before she even gets started, she is stopped by a slow deep laugh from Regina. "Won't work."
"What?"
"I put a spell… a protection spell… over my… body… you cannot hurt... me… with magic, which means… you cannot heal me with magic."
If she could and if the situation was any different, she would be laughing at herself. Once again, her plans turned against herself.
Oh, the irony.
"What?!" The Queen screamed at her. "Are you insane?! What do we do now? You cannot… I can't… What do we do?"
The despair is starting to show on the Queen's features and when Regina slowly closes her eyes, clearly exhausted, and mumbles something similar to "tired", she jumps in action once again.
"Hey, you!" The Queen shakes Regina wake, "You stay awake, do you hear me?"
It scares the Queen right in this moment when she realizes that Regina is not fine, not at all, and what scares her the most is the fact that she cares about it.
She tries healing her anyway because who knows what kind of internal injuries this piece of glass may have caused and, by the look of Regina's actual state, she's getting worse very quickly. Unfortunately – and as expected – nothing happens and it just freaks the Queen out even more.
Suddenly it hits her that she's afraid of losing Regina. It hits her that she doesn't know what to do without her other part and, oh god, she needs Regina. She needs her alive and well and strong to fight her when needed. That is what leads her to only one conclusion: she needs to get help, no matter from who.
"Hey… I'm getting you help. I'm getting Emma." She says.
Regina smiles tiredly. "Emma? But… you hate her."
"Well, I do… but I… I… she will be able to heal you. That's what matters." She concludes.
She stares at Regina's stomach once more as if deciding what to do and embraces her other part closely, disappearing in a purple smoke.
Emma is enjoying some time with her parents, since Henry is at a friend's house. It's quiet today and although she used to like moments like this before, she grew to fear them in Storybrooke.
Not that quiet days didn't happen often, but they generally end up with something not so good after all.
Anyhow, she is enjoying this moment talking to her parents although they have been wondering where Regina is, which cause them to become a little uneasy since the Evil Queen is back to her human form and Regina is not with them.
And although their relationship with Regina has grown circumstantially, they also know that she doesn't like to bother them and she tends to solve her problems all by herself when she could use some help, or sometimes even when she should use some.
That is what all of them can agree when they see a desperate Evil Queen appears right in the middle of their living room floor with a barely conscious Regina in her arms.
The Queen's afraid, they can notice, and the trembling voice begging them to help her can do nothing to deny it.
"Help her, please!" The Queen begs, staring at Emma.
She is shaking, her eyes are full of unshed tears and fear and she's clutching Regina like if she even think about letting her go, she will dye.
And maybe she will.
"Oh my God! What happened?" Snow is the first one to get into action and run towards the two identical women.
But neither of them look up to Snow, she doesn't know if Regina is even aware of her presence and the Queen is really not paying any attention, she's looking at Regina, hands caressing her cheeks while whispering something to her that is hard to hear until Snow is close enough to finally understand it.
"I'm so sorry. Forgive me… please… I didn't mean to hurt you."
"What happened?!" Emma asks again and she's by Snow's side now, looking from Regina to the Queen.
Regina is still bleeding, her skin is completely pale and her eyes seems to be unfocused.
"I didn't mean it." The Queen hiccups. "I'm so sorry. Heal her, Emma, please!" She begs.
And this is the first time since the Queen is in town that she calls Emma by her name, making all of this situation playing in front of them even crazier.
"What have you done?" David asks already angry. "And why didn't you try to heal her?"
"I couldn't… we… we couldn't." She sobs.
But Emma is already lifting Regina's shirt and gasping at the horrible gash on her stomach. "Oh my God." She whispers, closes her eyes anyways and focus on healing her but something is wrong and she doesn't know how to explain the feeling, but something is definitely wrong.
The Queen frowns at Emma and asks, "What… what is it?"
Emma frowns back but stares at the gash and put her hands over it one more time. It shines a deep bright light and it does travel into Regina's body but nothing happens.
"Why is it not working?" David asks worried.
"I don't know… it should be working…" Emma says.
"No…" The Queen whispers terrified. "No! It can't be… we have to do something, you have to try again!" She screams.
"I've already tried… it's not working! What happened to her?! What did you do?" Emma shouts back.
Snow, David and Emma are hovering side by side over Regina while the Queen is holding her head over her legs, tracing slow patterns on her hair.
They thought they would never see anything like this… but the Queen is starting to cry in despair and they don't know what happened at all or why the Queen is being this protective towards Regina, but there is not much time to think about it, there is more pressing subjects right now, like saving Regina's live.
Which, by now, seems to be ticking away.
She's became unconscious and they don't know for how long it is. Since Emma first tried healing her, the bleeding seemed to have subsided a little, which is why she's barely bleeding by now.
Until…
"Oh, God!" Snow suddenly screams when out of nowhere Regina moans painfully and the bleeding starts again, this time profusely. "She's bleeding again."
"We have to do something right now!" David urges. "We have to take her to the hospital."
As soon as he finishes saying that, Emma is moving her hands over them and the next thing they know is that they are in the middle of the hospital hall.
Some nurses run towards them, as well as doctor Whale, and try to take Regina from the floor to a stretcher, but the Queen is holding on her seemly unaware of their presence.
"Hey!" David says angrily. "Let go of her!"
"No!" The Queen cries even more. She looks to the unconscious woman and says, "You have to wake up… I'm sorry, please. I need you."
And is watching this scene that makes Snow realize that the Queen is actually in shock. In order to help Regina, they would have to put all their differences aside and be patient with the Queen.
"Hey…" Snow approached the Queen slowly. "They're here to help her… just let them, please."
"I cannot lose her… it's my entire fault." She sobs.
"We won't." Snow says slowly. "We all need her, but now she's hurt and she needs help, so please, let them."
The Queen looks up at Snow and her eyes are full of sorrow, the stored tears flowing freely. "I didn't want to hurt her…" She barely whispers.
"Look, we have differences… a lot… but I'm asking you to please let them help her and we'll discuss that later. Right now, no one is accusing you. We just," She takes a deep breath trying to calm down her own fears, "We just need her alive, all of us."
They stare deeply at each other for some seconds until the Queen finally allows them to take Regina from her arms.
The next hour or so goes by like eternity. They discuss about getting Henry or not and about the Queen, well, Snow discuss about how Emma and David should behave, since they can barely look at the Queen without pure rage written all over their faces.
The Queen, however, is lost to her thoughts. She's sitting on the farthest chair from them all and she has been staring at the door to where Regina went since the second they took her there.
Emma went to take Henry and he could barely direct some words to the Queen because neither Emma nor David would allow him, so they waited apprehensively.
After almost two hours, Dr. Whale appeared with news. While he was glad that Regina was alive – which he was very clear, was a blessing since they almost lost her two times in the surgery – he also made things very clear. Regina was badly injured. She would need some time to heal, a lot of rest and a lot of help as well.
As soon as he finished explaining the extension of Regina's injuries, he allowed them to see her with the condition to make it quick, since Regina was still under the effects of the anesthesia.
Strangely enough, when they looked to where the Queen was supposed to be, they saw an empty space, which relieved some of them.
Only for mere minutes.
The second they carefully entered Regina's room, they were astonished.
The Queen was hovering over Regina, silently crying and firmly holding one of her hands.
"What are you doing?!" Emma and David almost screamed at the same time.
The Queen jumped slightly scared, but didn't move. Actually, she looked ready to fight them off, but Snow new better. She could see the hurt behind the cold mask.
"Get away from her!" David shouted, moving to get the Queen away from Regina's bed.
By realizing the Queen's hurtful look, Snow tried to talk to David, but to no avail.
For some reason, if this day could bring Snow a lesson, it would clearly be that, against all odds, the Queen cares about Regina, deeply, and she never meant to hurt her physically.
Which brings Snow to yet another conclusion, the Queen knows Regina intimately, knows her deepest fears and her break points… and she knows all of this because she IS Regina.
Oh, how wrong they were.
She just needed them to see it. She just needed them to accept her, all parts of her.
She just needed Regina to accept all parts of herself.
It's always been about acceptance, they just weren't able to realize it sooner.
"David, please, stop!" Snow tried. "She has the right to be here."
"She has no rights!" David answers angrily.
"She is the reason we're all here in the first place, so no! She has no rights being here!" Emma screamed at the Queen. "You hurt her!"
"I didn't-" The Queen starts to say something, but is interrupted right away.
Calmly, but firmly, Henry says. "Please, mom, just go away."
When he finishes saying it, she doesn't need more words. It's written all over her face how deep Henry had just hurt her. It is as if they could see, through her eyes, her heart breaking in thousands little pieces…
Snow moves in her direction, but even before she is able to get any close to her, she disappears in a purple smoke.
It's almost night when Regina starts regaining consciousness and it's Snow who is in the room with her when she opens her eyes tiredly, barely being able to keep them open.
"Hey, you." Snow says with a bright smile. "You're finally awake. We were so worried about you, Regina. You really scared the hell out of us. How are you feeling?"
Regina just stares at Snow, blinking her eyes one, two, three times before asking, "Where… is she?"
Realizing she was talking about the Queen, Snow tried to divert her attention. "Don't worry about her, you're safe now. She won't come back anytime soon."
Regina frowned deeply and asked again. "Where… is she… Snow?"
Snow sighs, knowing Regina won't let this question go off so easily, and answers. "We don't know where she is right now… She hurt you, Regina… so… we asked her to leave, at least until you're a little better."
"It wasn't… her fault." Regina says, but she's already becoming sleepy again.
Snow knows she wants to say something else, she wants to fight with her about the Queen and wants to know what happened since she blacked out, but she is too tired to even formulate questions in her head and her eyes are getting to heavy... It is only a matter of seconds until she is sleeping again.
It's the sound coming from Regina's hospital room that calls Emma's attention and makes her run into it. At first, when she opens the door, she gets angry. Regina is discussing with Snow and Dr. Whale, trying to sit when she's still clearly exhausted and in pain. But, a few seconds later, she starts laughing. She laughs because how could they ever think that Regina would be anything similar to an easy going patient?
Regina would never be easy going in anything, at all.
And it is because of her laughs that three pairs of eyes stare at her questioningly.
"You see something funny, Miss Swan?" Regina says obviously bored.
"Yes... I kind of do." Emma smiles sloppily, but continues, totally ignoring Regina's stare. "What is the fussing about?"
Regina takes advantage of their distraction and tries to sit one more time only to scream in pain and get back to the laying position, taking slow deep and uneven breaths.
"I told you, Regina. You need to take it slow. It's gonna be a little while until you're back to your normal." The doctor warns.
"You need to rest." Snow says slowly.
Regina doesn't answer though, she faces the wall opposite to them and stays in silence, clearly ignoring them.
"Come on, you can't be angry at us." Snow says while approaching her. "We're just worried about you, we're just trying to protect you."
"I don't need protection." She says between gritted teeth.
"Well, it didn't seem so when the Queen appeared with you barely conscious at our house." Emma retorts. "She put you in this situation, Regina, so I'm sorry if we don't buy this 'I don't need protection' shit you're saying."
Suddenly, Regina turns to them angrily. "I already told you, it was an accident. She didn't mean to hurt me like that."
"Well, she did a pretty good job at not wanting to hurt you." Emma spat.
"Emma-" Snow scolds her.
"Leave." Regina says and faces back the wall, waiting for them to do as she said.
And so they did, not realizing the path some tears were leaving on Regina's face.
Even though she is out of danger, they cannot help but be concerned at her.
Two days later, she is still very weak and spends a lot of time sleeping, but when she's awake, she is trying to convince them that what had happened wasn't anything more than an accident and to let her talk to the Queen.
The last one only bringing more fights, since no matter what, David and Emma wouldn't let the Queen be anywhere near Regina, not while she was still this fragile, and the Queen had locked herself into her vault, put a protection spell over it and is ignoring all of them, even Henry.
Which makes Regina even more uneasy and worried.
They've told her what, or better, who made the Queen leave the room, so she knows how she feels, because she's felt it before. A thousand times. And she would rather feel this physical pain she is feeling now than feel Henry's painful words cutting deep into her heart.
Therefore, when Snow leaves to get something to eat, she stubbornly stands up all by herself and disappears in a purple smoke. When she appears again inside the vault, she has already changed clothes and has to lean on the wall for a few seconds to make the dizziness subside a little and to clear her blurry vision.
It doesn't take too long to find the Queen. She's sleeping on the bed when Regina slowly makes her way into the room.
Looking at her now, without all the makeup, the luxurious dresses and the cold mask, all she has left is a lifetime of being judged and not comprehended. All she has now is a deep emptiness very noticeable by the soft frown on her features.
The Queen is tired, just like Regina is.
Taking a deep breath, Regina slowly makes her way to the bed. She clutches her stomach softly because it feels like she's being burned from inside out, but she keeps going anyway. Until she spots a paper on the table and when she gets closer, she sees her name on it and she knows… The Queen had gone to the hospital to know how she was.
"You shouldn't be here." The deep voice startles Regina who turns around and faces her.
"I'm fine."
The Queen raises her eyebrows and stares at Regina who has one hand at her stomach and the other supporting her and it's possible to see, even from the bed, that she is slightly trembling.
"It certainly doesn't look like you're fine."
Regina rolls her eyes but doesn't answer, she knows better than discuss with the person who knows her the most.
"I came to talk to you." Regina says after some time.
"What is there to talk about?" The Queen asks while she gets off the bed and walks towards Regina. "And you should sit down before you pass out."
Regina takes a deep breath and says, "Look, I'm here to apologize."
The Queen frowns at her and chuckles. "I hurt you and you come to apologize? Well, we're more different than I thought."
But Regina can see right through it. "You didn't hurt me on purpose. I know that."
"You know nothing about me!"
"I know you feel guilty, because I would feel the same way. I know you didn't want to hurt me otherwise you would've already done it and you know why you didn't? Because we both know what it feels like to be physically hurt by someone else."
"It didn't stop us hurting people."
"It didn't." Regina agrees sadly.
"Why are you really here?" The Queen asks after a few moments of silence and stares deeply into Regina's eyes.
"I'm here to say that I'm sorry-"
"I already told you," The Queen says angrily. "I hurt you, so there is no need coming here to say you're sorry."
"Will you let me finish?" Regina interrupts suddenly impatient.
The Queen once again looks her right in the eyes and waits for her to continue. Meanwhile, she also studies every single move and reaction of Regina's body, like the slightly trembling of her knees or the white knuckles grabbing the chair for support or even the tiny droplets of sweat appearing in her forehead.
"I'm here because I remember your face when you saw I was really hurt," She shifts uncomfortably. "You felt guilty and you were concerned about me."
"Don't flatter yourself, darling."
Regina chooses to ignore her and continues, "I'm here to say thank you, because if it wasn't for you, I would be dead by now," She walks towards the bed to sit on it, hissing in pain when she does so. "I'm here to say that I'm sorry because I realize now the mistake I committed when I tried to get rid of you-"
The Queen interrupts and scoffs at her. "So now you're sorry?"
"Yes," Regina is quick to respond. "I really am."
"No!" The Queen screams at her. "You don't feel sorry, you feel guilty!"
"No… it's not like that." She says, gets off the bed and walks slowly towards the Queen who is looking at her with hate and, if better analyzed, hurt.
"If you think I will forgive you for what you've done to me, you're very wrong. I will never forgive you!" She spats.
"Please," She hisses in pain again. "Listen to me, we have to-"
"You gave up on me after all I have done for you!" She accuses angrily, rapidly invading Regina's personal space. "You just threw me away like I were some piece of trash, as if I had no value!"
"I'm sorry-" Regina says again, tears beginning to blur her vision, or was it the intensifying pain in her stomach?
"Stop saying that! You," She points at Regina, poking her in the chest. "made it clear you don't need me. You threw me away after I protected you, after I suffered for you, after I endured a lot of pain for YOU!"
"I know-"
"No, you don't get to say anything until I'm done! I protected you, over and over again I took your place every time you couldn't take it or when you knew you're too weak to handle it. I was the one who went to bed with the King for all those years!"
At this last statement, both women burst into a fresh bout of tears. Tears from remorse, from disgust, from pain and hurt and from the time that doesn't go back.
"I killed the man I loved for you!" The Queen wiped the tears from her eyes with her hand, clearly failing to suppress a sob. Would think about Daniel be this painful forever? "I took the pain inflicted by Greg for you! I helped YOU raise Henry, although he doesn't even recognize me!"
When she's done, there is only the sound of their sobs and ragged breaths. There is nothing to say to placate this deep pain they feel.
They need to be reunited again, to be the same person again so they can be able to handle this amount of feelings but are they this dumb to not realize it all by themselves?
"You forget," Regina whispers slowly. "that I was there with you. You forget I know what you feel, because I am you."
"Henry doesn't love me! So, we're not the same person, because he does love you!" She accuses.
"It's my fault Henry treated you like that, because I was the first one to not accept who I was… so he needs to accept who I am, but I have to do that first." Regina takes a deep shuddering breath and holds one of the Queen's hands into hers. "And here I am." She squeezes the Queen's hand and gets even closer to her, staring deeply into the other pair of brown eyes before gently caressing her cheek. "We have to stop this…"
The Queen leans her face on Regina's hand, closing her eyes and letting a solitary trail of tears fall.
"I miss a part of myself and that part is you," Regina says, wipes away some of the Queen's tears and, surprisingly enough, kisses her cheek.
Then, she puts both hands on each side of the Queen's face and makes sure she is paying close attention to her before she whispers what she has to say. "And I need you back."
The next thing they know is that they are hugging.
It's like that, in each other arms, that they just let go of their fears, their sadness and hatred and whatever is there to leave behind.
They rock back and forth, tears coursing down both their cheeks and they hold onto each other like their lives depend on it.
The pain in Regina's stomach is burning and she feels over tired and exhausted, she feels kind of suffocated, but she says nothing and tries her best to control her breath and not groan in pain.
The Queen needs her.
They need each other.
"I'm so tired of fighting people," The Queen says between intercepted sobs. "Of being hated."
"We'll get… through it." Regina assures with difficulty. "Together."
After a few seconds, the answer comes softly. "Together."
And, a while later, it's the feeling of something wet in her stomach that makes the Queen apart the hug and search for it, only to find out that the wetness is blood.
She looks at Regina, who is totally pale by now, and frowns deeply worried. She knows Regina is about to say that 'she is fine' or something similar to it but she won't have any of this.
"I'm getting you back to the hospital." The Queen states letting no space for discussion.
Regina only nods and leans on the Queen, letting her head rest on her chest while being totally supported by her.
She feels drained but what a good and comforting feeling is this one to rely on someone you know won't hurt you, quite the opposite, someone who is willing to protect you.
Thus, they disappear.
They are in the middle of a fight, all of them, the Charmings, Dr. Whale and some nurses, when both women appear behind them, but no one seems to notice.
"She's so stubborn."
"She's injured and she needs time to heal," Dr. Whale says angrily. "I refuse to stitch her again if it was her decision to leave. She was warned."
"It was probably the Queen!" David says tired.
The Queen clears her throat and says. "Glad to hear so many good things about me."
They turn around, slightly startled, and see Regina being completely supported by the Queen, who is holding her close. Regina's baby blue blouse is drenched in blood and her face is contorted in obvious pain.
It's interesting, to say the least, to see them without makeup and those elaborated clothes and dresses and if not by the blood and paleness on Regina's face, they wouldn't know which one was which.
"Regina!" Snow calls worriedly, running towards them.
"I told you!" David says and follows Snow. "Get away from her!"
The moment he forcefully tries to snap the Queen from Regina, the last cries out.
"Be careful!" The Queen screams at him, trying to approach Regina to help easy her pain, but he gets in the way.
Dr. Whale and some nurses get a wheelchair and starts sitting Regina on it, but she holds Snow's hand until the pixie haired woman gets closes to her.
"She didn't take me." She winces in pain. "I went to talk to her… we're good now. Please let her stay." She asks but the nurses do not wait for the answer.
When Snow looks back to David and the Queen, they are about to jump into each other's throat.
"You two, stop!" She says seriously and it takes more than mere seconds for them to listen to her, but they eventually do.
Snows stares at the blouse the Queen is wearing and just now sees the bloodstain on it. "Oh God, you're hurt too? Are you ok?"
"I'm perfectly fine." She snorts and walks towards the chairs, away from them.
It ends up that Regina was able to open some stiches, what would cost her even more time to heal, but it also gave them the opportunity to witness the Queen's and Regina's improving relationship through the days in the hospital.
It gave them the opportunity to witness how important is the process of self-acceptance.
It is contagious, in a good form.
It is refreshing.
It is redeeming.
It is life changing.
So, when they become one again, a few weeks later, they feel happy. And this happiness has everything to do with accepting who you are. It makes people see you for what you really are, and accept you for it, mistakes and all, completely.
It's freeing.
And what better way to live a life than feeling free to be what you really are?
Hope you enjoyed it. Just let me know.
B.