a/n: I am so sorry this took soooo long. Life was getting the best of me for a little bit there. But I'm happy to be back sharing this story with you, I love whats coming up in the next few chapters. Thank you for your support and love for this story! I will do my best to make sure the next update doesn't take nearly as long.

The ceiling fan above him whirls around and around for what feels like hours, yet still Killian stares up at it as if somewhere in its spinning panels are the keys to unraveling the feelings stirring inside him.

Sleep, it would seem, is intent on avoiding him and it's been hours since his eyes adjusted to the darkness. But he doesn't think he'll get any sleep this night, not with the way he can't stop hearing Emma's voice in his head.

You were wrong when you said I didn't love you.

He hears those words over and over again like the panels of the fan rotating around and around, never-ending.

You were wrong.

He was wrong.

When you said I didn't love you.

She loves him.

Bloody hell, she loves him?

Puffing out a heavy breath, Killian drags a hand down his face and rubs at the scruff on his jaw. It's hard to stop his heart from racing, speeding like an excited humming bird in his chest. It's a feeling he can't deny as something very close to joy.

She all but said she loves him.

He feels like laughing, disbelief and wonder filling his chest. It's such a stark contrast to the way his heart has felt for so many months now and he's almost unfamiliar with the sensation.

Though despite his happiness there's still the tiniest hesitation inside him that he does is best to push down. A shadow of the pain experienced the night she left, echoes of the ache still hiding in the walls of his chest all cautioning him, reminding him to not get too ahead of himself.

There's still so much she doesn't remember.

But then again, he's seen little moments here and there that have hinted that she may actually remember more than she's letting on.

Maybe she does remember, and maybe she's choosing to love him anyway.

With a sigh Killian turns on his side and stares at the shadows stretching up the wall. Last night was perfect, and if he closes his eyes he can still feel the ghost of her kiss, still feel the silk of her hair and the softness of her body against his. He can still see the look in her eyes as she whispered those words that shifted something inside him.

You were wrong when you said I didn't love you.

He gives his head the tiniest, disbelieving shake. No matter how many times he repeats them to himself, her words never quite sink in. They somehow feel new, and overwhelming, and breathtaking, and staggering all at once.

He must fall asleep at some point because there's light streaming into his room the next time he opens his eyes. With a grunt he rolls over a bit and reaches for his phone resting on his bedside table. His eyes are still half closed as he squints at the time. It's close enough to when he normally wakes up that he doesn't bother with rolling over and trying to squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep. Instead he throws the blankets off him and pushes himself to sitting, scratching at his head a moment before bracing his hands on his thighs and standing.

He shuffles his way down the hall and into the kitchen, Emma's not usually awake before him and so when he spots her blonde hair dancing against her back as she busies herself with the coffee machine his heart all but stops.

He's not sure what to expect, and too scared to shatter the silence and make his presence known he simply stares at her. Admiring the way the light from the windows weaves into her sleep-tangled hair and glows softly on her skin.

It's almost surreal, watching as she hums quietly to herself and grabs a couple of mugs from the cupboard. It's been weeks but he sometimes still finds it hard to believe she's here and she's real. Sometimes it feels like she's only temporary, here for a fleeting moment, like the particles of dust that drift in a stream of sunlight only to disappear when the light leaves.

She begins to turn, the mugs held tight in her hands, and jumps in surprise the moment she sees him.

"You scared me," she breathes as she sets the mugs on the island counter in front of her.

"Sorry, love," he murmurs and takes a few steps into the kitchen and moves around the island to stand next to her, the tiled floor cold beneath his feet. "You're not usually up this early."

Emma shrugs. "Couldn't sleep."

In answer he hums with all too much understanding, he'd had a similar night.

Silence settles between them and Emma stares at him for a moment. It's nothing more significant than her eyes meeting his, but still his heart jolts.

Killian watches as Emma blinks rapidly, her lashes brushing against her cheekbones in quick succession before she tucks her hair behind her ear and breaks eye contact, gesturing behind her with her thumb. "I made us some coffee. I know you like it black but I can get the cream and sugar out if you're in the mood for it."

Killian opens his mouth to thank her, only to snap it shut when what she actually said dawns on him. His eyebrow arches and his lips tip up in the smallest smile as he looks down at her. "You know I like it black?"

She smiles back at him, a look of bewilderment in her eyes as if she's not so sure what's so amusing or why she's smiling back. "Yeah, why?"

"Was that a specific memory that came back, or…?"

Her lips round in a silent 'oh' of understanding, and she tilts her head as a hint of wonder fills her eyes. "I don't think so? I….I just know you like it black?"

Unable to help himself Killian grabs a stray strand of her hair and gently runs it through his fingers. "What all do you remember, Swan?" He whispers, as if asking the question to himself.

He's hypnotized by the way her lashes shade her cheekbones as she looks toward the floor, her teeth scraping her bottom lip as she thinks. Her small shoulders lift as she inhales deeply before lifting her gaze back to his. "I really don't know. There's still so much that's…lost to me." She pauses, and tentatively lifts her hand to trail her fingertips up his arm. "I don't know if lost is the right word, because lost implies that I know what I'm missing—and I don't actually know what's missing. It's more like it's just…not there."

Killian takes a step closer to her, and though they'd been in much more intimate positions last night, he still feels somewhat shy as he wraps his arms around her waist. She melts into him, resting her palms on his chest, her thumb playing with the cotton of his shirt.

"It's strange the way things come back," she continues. "Sometimes it's vivid pictures, and it comes in a dream or hits me when I'm awake and I feel like I'm seeing and living it all again. And when they're back it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that I forgot it in the first place. Other times it's subtle—small things that I don't necessarily remember when they came back. I just suddenly know you like your coffee black…but I couldn't tell you if I knew that yesterday." She shrugs, releasing a breath of air. "I don't even know if that makes any sense or how to better explain it but—"

"It makes sense," he assures her, his thumb rubbing up and down her spine. "I can't even imagine how difficult this has all been for you."

Emma shrugs and looks down at her fingers resting on his chest. "It's gotten easier. Every day I feel more settled. My life was completely knocked off balance when I woke up in that hospital bed, but each day I feel like it realigns itself just a little more."

"Have any other little things come back? Like the coffee?"

She hums thoughtfully as she looks up at him, eyes sparkling. "I can't just pull them out of the air," she teases as she shoves his chest lightly, laughing when he tightens his hold on her waist in response. "It's got to be in the moment. Like right now, for instance, I remember that you always have such an unfairly attractive case of bedhead in the mornings."

Her fingers sift through his hair and Killian's eyebrows arch playfully. "I'm not sure that's a memory, darling. I'd simply chalk that up as the powers of observation."

"Maybe…" she allows, giggling as Killian presses a light kiss to her lips. He can feel her smile against his lips and he can't help but match her grin when he pulls away.

Once again he's rushed with the memory of the words she'd spoken last night, and he's overwhelmed with the thought that she might love him. That perhaps she feels just an ounce of the love he has for her. His gaze softens and his thumb trails a tender path down the side of her cheek until it finds a home pressed against the small dimple at her chin.

He could look at her, her features soft in the golden glow of the morning, forever.

She wraps her fingers around his wrist, holding his hand to her face for just a moment before pulling it down and tangling their fingers together.

"Our friends are meeting for dinner tonight," Killian says, swallowing thickly, the hand that had been around her waist sliding until it finds her hip. "We can go if you want?"

He's not sure what type of response he's expecting, but the one she gives is simple and easy.

"Sure. What time?"

"Not until six, so we have the entire day to ourselves until then."

Her eyebrows lift as a delighted smile tugs at her lips. "Oh really? And what were you planning on having us do with all of this free time?"

He pretends to think, as if the weight of such a decision is a heavy one. "A movie perhaps? Or I'm up for anything that involves cuddling really." He bites his lip and arches an eyebrow her. He's awarded with the sound of her laughter as she tips her head back, her small shoulders shaking with her happiness.

"Cuddling is a bit presumptuous don't you think?" she teases.

"Not at all," he hums, taking his hands and running them up her back and pulling her a bit closer.

"We'll see." She leans into his embrace and sighs, curling her fingers around the neck of his shirt and pulling him forward into a gentle kiss.

"Do we always eat at Granny's?" Emma asks as Killian opens the door for her, his hand at her back as he guides her inside.

She whispers the question, as if worried Granny's customers will hear and rise against her, affronted that she'd suggest eating anywhere else.

Killian chuckles lowly and leans forward, the breath of his answer warming her ear. "More or less. But Granny essentially lets us eat for free so…" He trails off with a shrug just as Mary Margaret approaches.

"Emma! Killian! You came!"

She dances up to them, hesitating for a second as if unsure what to do before wrapping her arms around Emma and embracing her. To Killian's surprise, Emma squeezes her back warmly, accepting the affection.

Releasing her on an inhale Mary Margaret smiles at Emma before turning her attention to Killian. "We're just back there at the usual spot. Liam and everyone are here already, you can head back. I just want to talk to Emma for a moment."

He looks at Emma, only assenting when she nods. He knows Mary Margaret always means well, but he also knows how smothered Emma's felt by her at times since she lost her memories.

"Alright," he says, giving Emma's hand a reassuring squeeze before he heads off to their usual table.

Their spot consists of two larger tables pushed together right smack dab in the middle of the diner with a varying number of chairs crammed around it, depending on who all makes it out that night.

David's sitting at the head, with Leo propped up and standing on his thighs as he bounces him slightly and laughs at something Ruby's saying.

Liam and Elsa are seated next to Ruby. Elsa is oblivious to him as she makes faces at Leo trying to get him to giggle, but Liam locks eyes with him stone-faced.

Stubborn as he can sometimes be, Killian's still not all too happy with his brother and the feeling is only amplified when Liam's eyes flick to Emma before returning to stare at him.

"Brother," Killian says in greeting as he sits across from him.

Liam leans back in his chair and crosses his arm. "What have you two been up to?"

He knows he shouldn't, he's only stoking a raging fire at this point, but he leans back and mirrors his brother's stance, narrowing his eyes. "Nothing that's really any of your business."

Liam exhales through his nose, clearly irritated, but before he can retort Elsa turns her attention away from baby Leo and beams Killian.

"You guys made it!" she sings happily.

Killian drags his eyes from his brother's to smile at Elsa. "Aye, we wouldn't dream of missing it."

"Well I'm glad," she says as she wraps her arms around one of Liam's and rests her chin on his shoulder.

The chair next to him scrapes against the tile floor as it's pulled out and Emma falls into it. Her lips tip up in a small smile as she tucks her hair behind her ear.

"Hey," she breathes in greeting.

They hold eye contact for longer than necessary, only breaking when Emma blinks and looks down at the table, her cheeks pinking slightly before she takes a deep breath and reaches for the menu. He can see her biting back a smile as she opens it and instantly he feels calmer.

What he's feeling, and what he's doing with Emma really is none of his brother's business. As a matter of fact, it's nobody's business but their own. And so with a determination to ignore his brother for the evening, Killian grabs a menu of his own and looks it over.

Granny goes overboard as usual, bringing out way too many helpings of fries and insisting that they all end the night with sundaes.

For most of the night he's content to just watch Emma. He hasn't seen her so lively since before she woke up in that hospital bed. He hears music in her laughter as she talks and listens to everyone. Her smiles come easy, and he sees constellations in the way her eyes light up with happiness. She inevitably ends up with Leo in her arms, and she alternates between playing with him and listening to David animatedly tell everyone about the dog he rescued from oncoming traffic earlier that afternoon.

At some point Leo falls asleep on her shoulder, and despite Mary Margaret offering to take him off her hands, Emma insists on holding him.

When he drapes his arm across the back of Emma's chair, she immediately leans back against his chest, like a magnet drawn to him. And as she lays there against him and cuddles Leo, Killian can't remember the last time he felt this content.

He knows that Liam's been slowly fuming all night. He can feel his gaze burning through him. But if he stares down at Emma and presses his nose into her hair and breathes her in, he can almost forget his frustrations with his brother.

Almost.

The sharp sound of silverware clattering against the table interrupts the party's happy chatter as Liam slams his glass down.

"Can I speak with you, Killian?" he asks as an unnatural quiet settles between everyone.

Liam's voice is calm, but his eyes are seething.

Elsa stares at Liam with a worried expression and David and Mary Margaret exchange a quick glance when Ruby whistles lowly.

Killian clenches his jaw before he responds, "Now?"

"Yes, now," he spits through his teeth before shoving his chair back and standing.

With a sigh Killian removes his arm from Emma's chair, meeting her eyes as she sits up and turns toward him, Leo's cheek still smooshed against her shoulder.

"Be right back," he whispers to her as he uses his finger to smooth out the lines that form between her eyes as she frowns.

Liam waits until he stands before he turns and makes his way towards the back of the diner and past the jukebox, disappearing into the back hallway.

With another sigh Killian follows after him, winking at Granny as he passes her. She stares at him over the top of her glasses that rest at the edge of her nose, her hand at her hip as she all but silently threatens him not to get in a brawl in her diner.

He barely steps into the hallway when Liam starts berating him.

"What the hell, Killian?" he says sharply, his arms folded across his chest. "Please. Enlighten me on what the bloody hell you are thinking."

Killian runs a frustrated hand through his hair before leaning against the wall across from him. "I don't want to do this right now, Liam."

"Like hell you don't," Liam fumes. "I've been watching you all night. You're all starry-eyed and love-struck. You've started something with her again haven't you?"

"Like I said before, it's not any of your—"

"She left you Killian!" he hisses, "Please tell me you're not this daft."

Anger bubbles inside him. Liam's never going to get it.

"I think I'm more aware of that then you, brother." He spits the last word in contempt, upset over the fact that out of anybody, his brother is not the person he has support from in this. "I'm in love with her, Liam," Killian shouts, pushing off the wall and taking a step towards him. "I can't just shut that off. And what I do is my decision, not yours, so back off."

Liam unfolds his arms and clenches his fists, his shoulders and neck tense. "You were a wreck when she left. Completely torn apart. What if this ends badly again? I don't want to see you like that; I'm just trying to help you see what's best for you. I—"

"But what if it doesn't?" Killian interrupts. "What if it doesn't end badly this time? People get second chances all the time. You don't know how this is going to end."

"Killian…" Liam breathes, shaking his head as he deflates.

Killian raises a hand and takes a step back. "No, just stop right there. I don't need your pity, I don't need your judgement, and I certainly don't want your advice on this, brother. There are pieces of this that you are not privy to. I'm done talking about this."

They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, neither budging.

Liam finally throws his hands up in the air, growling in frustration. "Fine. But just remember when you're left picking up the pieces again that I said this was a mistake."

"Will do, brother," Killian bites sarcastically, his jaw clenching.

Liam stares at him a moment longer before huffing and storming off.

Killian turns towards the wall, his anger boiling inside him and he'd give anything to be able to punch a hole through the wall right about now. Instead he kicks the baseboard and drops his forehead onto the wall, breathing harshly.

Liam doesn't get it, and he never will. He can't just not love Emma. Just being near her fills him in a way that he could never come close to articulating. It's like she knows the sound of his heart and he's only every truly home when he's with her.

He can't just shut that off.

He stays there with his head against the wall for who knows how long, his eyes squeezed shut as he gains control of his breathing.

A gentle hand touches his shoulder and he jumps, startled.

He turns to find Emma looking up at him with concern shining in her eyes. "Liam left," she says after a minute. "He seemed pretty upset."

He can't help but scoff, rolling his eyes. He doesn't think his brother really has a right to be upset over this.

Emma smooths a hand down his arm. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly," he grumbles.

Though it's not like he can really talk to her about it anyway—what would he even say?

Hi, Liam's mad because you left me and don't remember it and now he thinks I'm making a huge mistake?

Not likely.

They stand in silence for a moment as Emma eyes him, as if she's trying to gauge what he needs.

"Okay," she eventually soothes, folding her hand in his. "Do you want to go home?"

She stands perfectly still as she waits for his response.

Finally he nods without saying anything.

He wants nothing more than to just go home.